CHAPTER 29 
THE BLACK CANDLE Saturday night cellar party was on . 
The time was approaching midnight . 
Margot and Jasmine had left together shortly after ten . 
Before doing so at Mr. Copthorne 's invitation they had spent a pleasant half hour with Con O'Shea , Mr. Butler and Mr. Narain Khuma at a table for four . 
At another table nearby Mr. Smith and two of his officers in plain clothes were quietly chatting together . 
Ordinary members had quitted the club premises which appeared to be closed and only Percy , weary and fed up was compelled to stay in his ill-lit little cubby hole still on duty after hours until Mr. Herman gave him permission to depart . 
Saturnalia was about to proceed within that profane cellar . 
A black cock and a white hen had passed through the flames and to quench the unpleasant stink of burnt carcases and feathers , Mr. Copthorne in his purple and scarlet Bardic robes and peculiar turbanned headdress , had been swinging about an incense censer . 
The air was heavy and thick with the combined smells . 
Mr. Herman , who had been absent for a short while , entered very hurriedly by the back stairway leading from the kitchen premises . 
His face was as white as the damask deeply lace-edged cloth spread over the refectory table on which stood the golden chalice from which all had drunk and drained . 
He whispered hurriedly to his chief . 
" We 're cornered . 
Not a hope unless we can get them all away by the side entrance . " 
Mr. Copthorne turned grey . 
Without any waiting , panic-stricken and regardless of the rest , he made a scuttling exit through the cloak-room door leading out on to the side entrance . 
Mr. Herman took over with one word . 
" Scram ! " 
Fright and alarm spread amongst the party guests and in the sudden confusion to press through the narrow doorway a paraffin radiator just under the purple and scarlet muslin draped platform was upset followed by an explosion and a burst of flame , instantly igniting the draperies and matching curtains at the sides . 
Seizing a piece of carpeting Mr. Herman attempted to smother and quench them . 
There was a fire extinguisher , but that was kept in the club itself for handy use . 
The flames spread and mounted . 
He staggered up the back stairway into his office and dialled 999 . 
As he came out of it , Mr. Smith and his two companions came round the side of the rostrum where they had been concealing themselves , and stood in the way . 
Mr. Herman faced them . 
He had been trembling and shaking . 
He ceased to tremble . 
He stood rigid and straight . 
He was on the stage once again and it was the first night of a new play in which he had been cast for the minor role of an evil man 's dupe and confederate . 
Could he have cast himself in the part of Mr. Copthorne , the villain and apostate , he would not have attempted to run away from his captors . 
He would have made his appearance . 
The Show must go on . 
His first night nerves on this that was also his last night dropped away from him . 
He had lines to speak . 
Mr. Smith gave him his cue . 
" Now then , Herman ! " 
Mr. Herman 's faintly mask-like smile was almost pathetic . 
" Gentlemen , of course , I am at your service , but listen to me , please . " 
"Do n't take too long then , " said Mr. Smith . 
" I will be brief . 
Can you not smell smoke ? 
Turn your noses to the kitchen . " 
The men sniffed and coughed . 
" Is that your trick ? " snapped Mr. Smith . 
" Trying to smoke us out , eh ? 
Been burning something ? 
You 'll have to think of something better than that . 
Show us the way below . " 
"Impossible . 
No doing of mine . 
A pure accident . 
One of these paraffin lamps has been upset . 
The premises are on fire . 
I have just phoned for the brigade . 
Arrest me . 
Whatever information you wish me to give you later I am willing to provide . 
I am a knave and a low fellow , a spreader of iniquity . 
I have no intention of scarpering even if I had the chance . 
I have had enough to last me . " 
"Tail it off , Herman ! " 
Mr. Smith and his men were now uncomfortably aware that Mr. Herman was speaking the truth and that the club was on fire . 
" Where 's Copthorne ? " 
"My leader in this fiendish racket , my dear sir , is not in the house . 
He is well on his way by now to where I do not know , but even if I did know for certain and told you , I doubt if you would be able to catch up with his Rover 90 as he has had a good start . 
It might conceivably be down to Sussex or to the nearest airport . 
You will be much better advised to take me into custody forthwith and lock me up once more in the all too familiar confines of a prison cell . " 
"You are under arrest . " 
Mr. Smith coughed as a swirl of acrid smoke drifted past him and his officers . 
Mr. Herman held out his hands . 
" Put on the bangles . 
The fire brigade has arrived . 
Hear it ? 
Regis Road pavements will soon be crowded with late-homers gathering to witness a fire in full bloom . 
Standing room only for nothing to pay . 
I pray you let me continue to speak the tag . 
I played Hamlet once and how I gloried in that role although the performance only took place in a country public hall — " 
" That 's enough , Herman . " 
The firemen were in , Percy , Con O'Shea and Mr. Butler were all upon the scene . 
Mr. Herman raised his voice above the hubbub and roar of smoke and flames . 
Infinite pathos , regret and sadness was in it . 
" How weary , stale , flat and unprofitable seem all the uses of this world ! 
It is an unweeded garden that grows to seed . 
Things rank and gross in nature possess it — " 
" Pipe down ! " 
The two police officers hustled him forward towards the entrance . 
Con suddenly brushed past them . 
" The cat , the white cat ! " 
Percy tried to hold him back . 
So did Mr. Butler . 
" The cat will have got itself out through the coal-shoot . 
Bound to — " 
"It has n't . 
I heard it mewing . 
I am sure and certain it was the cat — let go of me , George ! " 
"Do n't be a fool , Con ! " 
"Get outside , all of you , unless you want to be smothered , and wait for me . 
I 'll be joining you in a minute or two with the little white cat in me arms ! " 
Con pushed himself free and dashed forward . 
CHAPTER 30 
THE SPEED dash into Sussex was near to its end . 
The titled displaced person chauffeur who was at the wheel , intent on the wheel and covering distance , had not spoken a word . 
Nearing the village he turned to look for Mr. Copthorne in the back of the car . 
He was not on the seat . 
He was cowering on the floor . 
" Stop ! " 
"Do you not wish to be driven home ? " 
"No . 
Put me down at the church . " 
"Very good . " 
The chauffeur did not " Sir " his employer . 
He halted the car by the Lych Gate . 
" Thank you . " 
Mr. Copthorne almost fell out of it , his Bardic robes impeding him . 
" I will see you in the morning . " 
"Perhaps . " 
"Perhaps . 
But — but you are not going to leave me , Count ? 
You know how I rely on your services . " 
The chauffeur did not deign to answer . 
He was self-possessed and silent as always . 
He opened the Lych Gate for Mr. Copthorne , closed it after him and drove away . 
Mr. Copthorne stumbled towards the church door and tried to turn the heavy handle . 
It was locked . 
The verger would be there to open it first thing in the morning . 
The rector liked to leave the church open all day until the evening . 
He was very proud of the venerable old edifice with its Norman tower . 
It would be made good and sound , the restoration of its stone and wood that would ensure its preservation for many many years to come , by means of the generous purse of Mr. Copthorne , squire , and lord of the manor . 
Mr. Copthorne knew a way round by the side of the church where there was a small open outbuilding where the grave digger kept his spades and forks and tidying up implements . 
It might be open . 
It was . 
He entered , and seated himself in a huddle upon an upturned wheelbarrow . 
His curious headgear fell off . 
Strange things were going on in his bewildered brain . 
When a man was drowning and towards his last gasp it was scientifically supposed his whole life came up before him in some cinematic kind of sequence . 
Mr. Copthorne was on dry land in a church outbuilding , but this was happening to him now . 
He saw himself as a sulky , ugly , malformed , repressed boy , then a young youth . 
He saw himself refusing baptism according to the sect his parents belonged to . 
Walking out of the chapel later on . 
Continuing on , his leaping mind flashed pictures of chicanery and corruption , the growth of the deadly decadence and absorption in debasement and Satanic debauchery . 
He saw himself as he was and as he had become , a misbegotten , infamous , recidivist , past praying for . 
The church clock was striking seven . 
He had slipped on to the stone floor . 
He gathered himself , swaying and uncertain and stumbled round to the front door of the church again . 
The door was open . 
The verger had just unlocked it and was about to depart when he saw Mr. Copthorne entering in his very strange purple and scarlet robes get-up . 
He did n't know what to make of it , but it was Mr. Copthorne all right . 
Perhaps he had been attending some kind of fancy dress do in London . 
Very strange his eyes looked . 
Mad , hunted eyes , as if the poor fellow had rocks in his head , so the verger described afterwards . 
" You 're very early about , sir , " he said , trying to speak normally . 
" Yes . 
I travelled down from London as the dawn was breaking , and the thought came to me I 'd like to take a look at the church . 
I 've never been inside . 
Very remiss of me , " said Mr. Copthorne . 
The verger led the way in . 
" The stained glass windows , sir , they date back to the fourteenth century . " 
Mr. Copthorne looked and saw the light stealing through upon the illuminated figures of Saints and a central figure upon a Cross . 
" Ah ! " he said . 
" That figure — that Man was n't afraid to die , was he ? " 
The verger was simple in his nature . 
" No , sir . 
He died for all . " 
"And Christianity goes on ! " 
"Yes , sir , and always will . " 
Mr. Copthorne 's breathing was deep and laboured . 
He seemed to be sighing . 
" I 'd like to go up to the belfry . 
Do n't come with me . 
I 'd like to go myself . " 
The verger waited for him by the Lych Gate . 
Mr. Copthorne ascended into the belfry . 
The verger could see him standing there on the very edge . 
A bit risky . 
The next moment he had either cast himself down or stumbled and fallen . 
There he lay stretched out , his fat figure in a crude spread-eagle , face forward . 
The verger ran towards him . 
He tried to shift the unwieldy figure and raise him . 
Mr. Copthorne 's head fell sideways . 
Very faintly , in a bare murmur , the verger caught the last words he uttered : 
" I am still baffled . " 
CHAPTER 31 
ON SUNDAY afternoon a telephone message was conveyed to Margot by Miss Maclaren , very quietly , on the fourth floor landing . 
Her father was having his Sunday afternoon nap and the considerate little woman did not wish to disturb him . 
" A gentleman whose name is Mr. Butler , has just rung up to say he has some urgent news for you and Jasmine , and he is coming round now in his car with a friend to tell you . 
His voice sounded very grave , dear , and he stressed that as it was on a subject that might upset your father , it would be best to say nothing to him yet awhile . 
Jasmine is getting herself ready now . " 
There were few passengers on the plane and Gavin was quickly through the customs . 
" Gay ! " 
"Gavin ! " 
The girl and her luggage had disappeared and they were alone together . 
The porter brought Gavin 's bag out to the taxi . 
" Just a moment , darling , " Gavin pressed her hand and smiled . 
" I want to check up on the flights back . " 
Gay went out to the waiting taxi , and then found that in the excitement of meeting Gavin she had left her sun-glasses on the veranda . 
She went quickly back to fetch them . 
Gavin and the girl who had got off the plane with him were talking . 
He was writing something in his pocket-book , with a sick feeling of despair Gay knew that of course it was her address . 
Gavin joined her and at once dispelled her fears . 
" That little bit you saw me talking to , her father is a big land agent , she says that he sometimes has farms for lease ... you know that 's what I want , Gay , a farm and you ! " 
" Shall we go over to the little cafe2 opposite after dinner ? " 
Gay , sitting opposite Gavin on the terrace could hardly believe that she was the same girl , miserable , shy , who had sat at the little table for the first time a few days ago . 
Gavin raised his glass to her and smiled and Gay 's heart turned over . 
" I 'd like to do that . " 
Gavin drained his glass and refilled it . 
" And then we 'll go for a stroll along the beach . 
A moon like this must n't be wasted . " 
He gestured towards the bay where the full moon was just rising over the rocks , then laid his hand on hers . 
Gay smiled at him again , happy beyond belief , knowing that now Gavin was in love with her and her only , yet remembering for a second the kisses she had seen him giving Elaine . 
All that was part of the past , she would put it behind her . 
She would never be jealous again , would even take Larry 's advice and look the other way if need be . 
" I say ! " 
Gavin was looking over her shoulder . 
" That 's a pretty girl ! " 
Gay glanced behind her , " Is n't she lovely , she 's French , a very well known model I believe . 
She only arrived today . 
That is her father 's yacht in the bay . 
The people she is with are the Belgians I told you about who have been so nice to me . " 
"Does everyone go to the cafe2 opposite after dinner ? " 
Gavin enquired casually . 
" No , the older people usually stay here and have coffee and some go to the night club up the road . " 
Bernice came over and was introduced . 
Gay felt happy and proud as she made the introduction . 
" We are going to the night club , " Bernice said , " are you coming ? " 
"No , we thought that we 'd go opposite . " 
Gay did n't want to do anything other than be alone with Gavin and later under the light of the glorious moon hear his explanation of everything and in shared kisses put it all behind her . 
They came out of dinner and Gay went upstairs to get her stole , the night was warm , the sky cloudless , but it might be cooler later on the beach . 
She looked at herself in the mirror , wanting so much to look lovely for Gavin . 
She lightly powdered her face , drew a pale lipstick across her mouth , picked up her stole and ran down the stairs to where she had left him . 
The hall was empty , and she looked round thinking that perhaps Gavin had gone outside when Larry came through , tall and elegant in his white dinner jacket . 
" Hullo , you 're looking very lovely . " 
"Thank you , Larry , I 'm feeling very happy . " 
"You are ? 
Good girl . 
Everything all right now ? " 
"Oh yes , thanks a lot for your advice . 
Gavin is here ! and before I had time to write ! " 
"Here ? 
You mean the man you were dining with is Gavin ? " 
Larry asked , looking surprised . 
" Yes , is n't it wonderful ? 
He flew over from Barcelona and is going to stay two days . 
I ca n't think where he is , he said he would wait here . " 
She looked around . 
" He 's in the bar ... " 
Larry looked at her a little strangely , paused as if he were going to say something , then with a wave of his hand walked off to join a smart looking woman . 
Gay , a little puzzled , went through to the bar . 
Doc and Lilyan were sitting just inside having coffee . 
" Come and join us and bring your boy friend , " Doc called . 
" No , Doc ! " 
Lilyan remonstrated . 
" They want to be alone . " 
"I 've booked a table at the cafe2 , " Doc said , " they are packed tonight so come and join us if you ca n't find a table for two . " 
Gay thanked him and walked out on to the terrace thinking that perhaps Gavin had bought a drink and taken it outside . 
She looked round scanning the tables , then caught her breath , a cold hand seeming to clutch her heart . 
Gavin was seated at a small table in a shadowy corner talking animatedly to Simone . 
As Gay watched he offered the girl a cigarette and lit it , his hands cupping hers in an intimate way . 
Gay stood irresolute for a moment , half decided to go back and join Lilyan and Doc , while she wanted to do no more than run upstairs to her room , knowing that Gavin although he had told her that he loved her , was already flirting with a girl that he had only met a few minutes before . 
Larry 's advice flashed through her mind , but she turned away , giving a little gesture of hopelessness , knowing that her pride would never allow her to look the other way and aware too , that her love for Gavin had already lessened , although she was suffering the pangs of jealousy . 
" Gay ! " 
Gavin came up behind her and took her arm , "where have you been ? " 
Simone stood behind him , cool and poised . 
" Come along , " he took them both by the arm , " now show me where this cafe2 is . " 
Gay withdrew her arm on the pretext of adjusting her stole , almost shuddering at Gavin 's touch . 
The cafe2 was crowded as Doc had predicted and Gay led them over to his table , glad that she was not to be alone with Gavin . 
The others were all dancing and as Gay drew out a chair and sat down Gavin , without a word , swept Simone on to the floor . 
" It does n't mean anything , " Gay told herself desperately , trying to understand Gavin 's point of view and remembering the advice that Larry had given her , while she felt wretched beyond words . 
She shivered a little despite the warmth of the night and turning round , reached for her stole which was on the back of the chair . 
Without meaning to spy she caught sight of Gavin and Simone . 
They were dancing very closely and she saw Gavin lay his cheek against the French girl 's and whisper something in her ear . 
Simone looked up at him smiling and nodded . 
Feeling sick with unhappiness , Gay drank her coffee , aware now as she had really known before that there was no hope of happiness in the future for her and Gavin . 
If he could come all the way to Marjorca to see her and then immediately start flirting with the first pretty girl that he met , and in front of her , it showed only too plainly that his affection for her had no depths at all . 
His behaviour was not only boorish and in the worst of taste but it was unkind beyond words . 
She fumbled with the cigarette packet which lay on the table not wanting to smoke but needing some action to help her control her feelings . 
" Come and dance , " Doc 's cheery voice came as a lifeline and Gay got up quickly , managing a smile . 
As he swung her on to the floor Gay saw Gavin and Simone go through the doorway that led down to the beach . 
Gay closed her eyes for a moment in disgust . 
She was fully aware that Gavin would make love to the French girl on the sands , and no doubt he would come back soon and after Simone had left expect her to accept his kisses on the way back to the hotel . 
" And that 's the man whom you have been eating your heart out over ? " 
Doc nodded towards the door . 
" You may consider him a man , I would say he was a mentally adolescent cad . " 
"Oh , Doc ... " 
Gay protested weakly , " you do n't know Gavin . " 
"I 've only met him today but I think I can safely say that I know him a great deal better than you do . " 
Doc gave her hand a shake . 
" Wake up Gay , and do n't even contemplate throwing yourself away on a chap like that . 
You 're a fine girl , intelligent , and pretty , and I had thought you were sensible too . 
Do n't make a fool of yourself over someone who does n't care two jots for your feelings . 
If he behaves like this now what is your married life going to be like ? 
Hell . " 
Doc answered for her . 
" Just Hell . 
Never able to trust him out of your sight and having to put on a brave face and pretend that you do n't mind whenever he flirts with another woman . 
He will you know , always , and you are n't the type who is tough enough to change him . " 
Gay nodded . 
" I know that you 're right Doc , I think now that I do realise that , and in any case , " she added a little sadly , " if I did change Gavin , he would n't be the same , if you know what I mean . " 
"You sound like Alice in Wonderland , " Doc gently mocked her , " and I 'm glad you 're beginning to see that you 're wasting your time on that chap . 
Now let him go and you wo n't have to wait long for the right man for you to come along . 
If I was thirty years younger and were n't married to the sweetest wife in the world I 'd marry you myself . " 
Gay laughed , Doc was so kind and nice and she hoped that one day she would be able to see the situation as it obviously appeared to everyone else . 
Doc asked Lilyan to dance and once again Gay found herself alone at the table feeling self-conscious and awkward , sure that people were talking about the way Gavin was behaving since they had seen them dining together . 
She opened her bag to get out her compact and saw Grace 's letter . 
She drew it out and opened it , glad to be able to occupy herself . 
" So glad that you are having such a lovely time , dearie , " it ran . 
" Your cards are lovely . 
I rang up Miss Harland and have been over to sit with her father and do what I can for him so that she can get out to do her shopping . 
He 's getting on well but is pretty helpless still with his broken arm . 
No other news except that Elaine is engaged and going to marry a foreigner ... " 
Gay read the rest of the letter then put it back in her bag . 
Elaine was engaged , to the man she had spent so much time with at her party . 
That was why Gavin had come back to her . 
Everything was quite clear now , and to her own surprise Gay felt no heartbreak , rather a sense of relief now that she knew why Gavin had come to see her . 
Because she was second best . 
The others came back to the table , all of them making a fuss of her and at once she felt happier . 
Gay loved them for their warm sympathy , knowing that they were real friends , even if they were new ones . 
" That is a pretty dress , " Lilyan commented , obviously sensing Gay 's distress and in a way that Doc , as a man , could not understand , knowing that Gay was as much ashamed for Gavin at the way he was behaving as she was hurt for herself . 
" I made it myself , " Gay tried to speak normally . 
CHAPTER ONE 
THE hospital was literally sited at the cross-roads , though set back from the street by a drive of about a hundred and fifty yards and cushioned by rounded shrubs and a belt of trees which helped to absorb the noise of the traffic . 
There was a large new roundabout and a sign which gave the distances to both Edinburgh and London , Great Yarmouth and Liverpool , for besides being at the cross-roads , St. John 's was also sited roughly at the heart of England , the highways resembling vast arteries pouring the flood tide of commerce and private pleasure in four entirely different directions . 
Diana Wills often sat on the brand new seat outside the hospital gates and thought vagrant thoughts . 
At one time she had watched the workmen constructing the roundabout , which was to put St. John 's Casualty Department out of operation — in theory , at least . 
She would think of herself as a stranger in these parts studying these cross-roads . 
Which one to take ? 
" If I were a tramp I would simply blow a feather , " she decided , rather envying the gentleman of the road his freedom of decision , and wishing life would sometimes allow serious-minded women doctors to blow a feather and follow its airy directions accordingly . 
" If I were needing a job I 'd go to London , of course , " she went on . 
" There are all sorts of wonderful jobs in London and I could take my pick , whereas in Yarmouth one has to know something about fishing and in Liverpool they 'd want sea-farers . 
I do n't think I 'd go to Edinburgh unless I was a Scot and wanting to get home , or perhaps a student studying to be a doctor , and I already know all about that . " 
Being at a cross-roads was unsettling , she also decided . 
One felt as though one had n't arrived anywhere . 
True , St. John 's was on the outskirts of Farlingham , a small , prosperous North Midlands town , but apart from the inhabitants everybody else regarded Farlingham as a spot where one could fill up the car , have a cup of tea and go on to somewhere else with vastly more to offer in the way of opportunity and entertainment . 
It was getting too cool for sitting on the seat by early October , Di decided , as she collected her various items of shopping — she never carried a basket — and prepared to go inside for tea . 
She felt chilled to the bone and somewhat depressed . 
Normally she looked forward to her days off , an expedition into town , a visit either to her hairdresser or the cinema and Nigel dashing out to join her for either luncheon or tea in his screaming red M.G. 
She was engaged to Nigel , had been for two years . 
Sometimes they talked on the theme of " when we get married " , and then all was wonderful , and perhaps it had only been a slip of the tongue when Nigel had said , only last evening , " If we get married , old girl , you 'll have to stop that lark , I can tell you ! " 
She could n't remember what they had been talking about or which " lark " she would have to stop , only that significant tiny word shouted into her very soul a horn of warning , and with it was coupled a disembodied fragment of information , which now took on an ominous significance : Nigel had been seen in Farlingham on an occasion he had sworn he had been standing in for Luke Parsons at his surgery in Little Phelpham . 
Now Nigel had every right to go where he liked during his off-duty periods when she was not free ; this much they had conceded one to the other . 
They rarely found they were off duty together , and the situation would have been intolerable had there not been some give and take about their relationship . 
So when Nigel had told her about taking Luke 's evening surgery she had said , " Bless you ! 
I hope Luke is suitably grateful , darling . " 
"Oh , well , " he shrugged diffidently , " I like the work . 
One gets plenty of variety and it 's a change . " 
Nigel was the hospital 's Junior Medical Officer . 
" You wo n't be free about nine , I suppose , to meet me for supper somewhere ? " she had asked hopefully . 
" Hardly likely , my sweet . 
Luke 's surgery goes on for hours . 
If they get in before eight-thirty , even though they 're standing on one another 's toes , I 've got to see 'em . 
If I am free , though , I 'll give you a ring , O.K. ? " 
O.K. , " she had replied readily . 
So how could Nigel have been at the Load of Trouble roadhouse , dancing with a blonde at eight-thirty that very evening ? 
" No , " she told Phil Gubbins , a junior houseman , " it was n't Nigel you saw , my lad . " 
"It was Nigel 's car , anyway . 
NUF 121 . " 
"He probably loaned his car to somebody , Phil . 
He 's always doing that . " 
Young Gubbins shrugged . 
" I did n't see his face , Di , but it certainly looked like Nigel from the back . 
D.j . 
and all . 
Of course such as I could n't afford to go into the Load of Trouble . " 
"Neither can Nigel , " smiled Diana . 
" He 's saving up to get married . 
Remember ? " 
"I remember , " quipped the houseman , meaning no offence , " but does he ? 
That blonde was something . " 
"Anybody I know ? " she smiled . 
" I think so . 
I got a good look at her . 
But if Nigel was n't there it is n't important , is it ? " 
"No , " Di said immediately . 
" It is n't at all important . " 
But after that slight slip of the tongue on Nigel 's part she had realised it was important enough for her to have remembered , and it was as though a red mist veiled her usually clear sight and made her think there was an abyss immediately ahead . 
" Nigel , " she had besought him , " you know that evening you took Luke Parson 's surgery and there was a woman with a cyst on her ear ... ? " 
"{ 5Ye-es ? " he lowered his eyes and kissed her on the mouth , an act of devotion he did n't over-indulge . 
" What about it , my sweet ? " 
"Well , " she laughed suddenly in an upsurging of relief , " that stupid Gubbins boy thought he saw you at the Load of Trouble . 
With a blonde , too . 
Imagine ! " 
Nigel was frowning . 
He looked distinguished when he frowned ; boyishly handsome at other times . 
" Gubbins ? 
Gubbins ? " he fretted . 
" Who 's he ? " 
Though Diana knew the name of every member of the staff , distinguished or not , Nigel often had to think hard to sort them out . 
" He 's the carrotty lad , is n't he ? " he now demanded . 
" What was he doing at the Load of Trouble ? " 
"Oh , he was n't . 
His motor-bike had broken down outside and he noticed your car and then you dancing with this blonde . " 
"Really ? " 
Nigel cocked one eyebrow . 
" Actually she was brunette at the roots and I had a redhead on the other arm . 
He would have told you this , too ? " 
"No , " she laughed . 
" He did n't actually see you . 
Because it was your car I suppose he presumed it was you , all dressed up in your dinner suit . " 
"My white or my black ? " 
Nigel enquired . 
" Now I wonder which I wore at that particular surgery ? " 
"You are a fool , darling , " Di said happily . 
" I shall take great pleasure in telling that young man exactly what you were doing that evening . " 
"No , do n't , " he said , after kissing her again . 
" I rather like to have the housemen think of me as a two-timing Don Juan . 
I 'm such a dull fellow , really . " 
"Dull ? " 
She could n't believe it . 
Self-deprecation was not one of Nigel 's usual attributes . 
" You need your holiday , darling . 
I only wish I could go with you ! " 
"Doctor Wills , if you 're making improper suggestions ... ? " 
"It would make me more interesting , I suppose ? " she enquired archly . 
" No , it would n't ! " he almost snapped , surprising her . 
" You sounded like somebody else for a moment there . 
It does n't become you to behave like a — a tart , Di . " 
"Nigel — ! " she gasped . 
" I did n't mean to behave like anything of the kind . 
I was only joking . " 
"Well , do n't . 
It 's miserable enough my having to take my leave in the autumn without you trying to be bright and gay about it . 
I 'm going with a shooting party . 
What else can I do at this time of year ? 
I ca n't ask you up because it 's a strictly stag affair . " 
"I know . 
I did n't expect ... " 
"Well , do n't keep hinting , then . 
You wish you could come with me ; you hope I 'll miss you ; you ca n't imagine the hospital without me for three weeks , etcetera , etcetera ! " 
Diana 's face was drained of colour . 
She was almost angry for a moment . 
" Am I expected not to mind your going away for three weeks ? " she asked simply . 
He looked at her , noting , as for the first time , the pansy blue of the eyes that were his fiance2e 's best feature . 
Her hair was of a chestnut brown shade , which glinted with gold in the evenings , he had noticed . 
Her figure was small and exquisite , like a schoolgirl 's still , and he admired her legs , which the male sex were inclined to regard first . 
" I would mind if you did n't " he told her grimly , and tugged her fiercely into his arms . 
" You 're right , pet . 
I do need this leave . 
I 'm bad-tempered and broody and going out with brash blondes . 
I do n't deserve you . " 
"Darling ! " her voiced caressed him . 
" Moments like this make all the waiting worth while . 
When we 're married we wo n't have these explosions of emotion , will we ? " 
"No , " he eyed her strangely . 
" I wish we were married , Di . 
Like a patient wishes his operation was over . " 
Again her laughter trilled . 
" Marriage is n't as bad as an operation , Nigel ! " 
"Is n't it ? " he rose and smoothed himself down . 
" Ask any bridegroom-to-be . 
Anyhow , that particular problem is n't looming at the moment , thank God ! " 
Problem ... ? looming ... ? 
" Are we discussing a marriage or a burial ? " she asked , hardly believing he could be serious . 
" Surely marrying me is n't going to be all that bad ? 
If it is — " she laughed uncertainly — "you can have your ring back . " 
She loosened the half-hoop of diamonds on her left hand third finger and held it out to him , still playfully . 
Without a glimmer of amusement in his own eyes , however , he took it , looking moodily beyond her . 
" Perhaps it 's as well if you do n't wear it for a bit , Di , " he told her . 
" But I want it ! " she protested . 
" It 's my ring . " 
"You just gave it back to me . " 
"I did n't ! 
I was joking . 
You know I was joking , Nigel . " 
"You should n't joke about serious things like engagements . " 
"Do n't be such a baby ! " 
They were going to have an open quarrel any minute , and she knew it . 
Almost in desperation she appealed , " Will you meet me at the gate , four o'clock tomorrow ? " 
"Why ? " he enquired , combing his thick , tawny hair . 
" To bring me up for tea , of course . 
I just thought . " 
"I 'll see , " he told her , and suddenly seized her in an embrace which really hurt . 
" Without your ring it 's just like kissing somebody else 's girl , " he decided wickedly , and kissed her again , somewhat startled to receive a sharp slap for his pains . 
" If I were somebody else 's girl that 's what you 'd get , " she flashed at him , and so had left him , on her dignity and not seeing the look of admiration and revelation which had followed her slim young figure out of his sight . 
" Mine , " Nigel Lester had decided with a sigh of satisfaction , and then regarded the ring which he retrieved from his pocket . 
" At a price , " he concluded , with some bitterness . 
Thus had they parted the previous evening and now Diana was trailing up the gravelled drive to the hospital alone . 
Of course one could n't say for certain when a doctor would be free during the day ; tea was served from four until five-thirty in the residents ' common-room , which proved the elasticity of medical commitments . 
Something had cropped up which required Nigel 's attention , she was convinced , or he would have granted her small request to be met at the gates . 
They often had such a rendezvous , for there was just time to smoke a cigarette , if one walked slowly , between road and hospital . 
Carol waited until after the child had gone , then she sprang out of bed and started quickly to dress . 
She would waken Jacques and get him to drive her into Nice to Jimmy 's hotel and together they would go to the police with the diamond and emerald clip . 
She did n't want to bring Ray into this . 
He had sentimental loyalties towards Grant . 
He might still give him the chance to escape , and if Grant did escape all hope of proving Ray 's innocence would be gone . 
But she knew she had to act — and to act quickly . 
She had already aroused Grant 's suspicions by her questions . 
She went quietly down the staircase . 
There was only a short distance through the foyer before she reached the front door . 
But when she tried to close it after her a foot was forced in the open doorway . 
Her shoulder was seized , and before she could scream a pad was thrust into her mouth . 
She felt something shoved into her ribs , and turning slightly sideways she saw it was the nozzle of a revolver . 
" Keep going , " Grant said in a low harsh voice . 
" One false movement and you 're as good as dead . 
Do n't kid yourself I 'll be timid about using this revolver ; it 's my life or yours . " 
She could n't scream because of the gag in her mouth and he held both her hands tightly behind her back . 
He made her walk round to the garage and once there he bound both her arms and her legs tightly . 
Then he bundled her into the back of his car , laying her on the floor . 
It had all happened so quickly she felt completely numb . 
And anyhow she had had no chance ; he had taken her completely unawares . 
She had n't even time to think where he might be taking her or what he intended to do with her . 
He threw a rug over her and shortly afterwards she heard him start up the car . 
Jacques slept above the garage , but he was used to Grant taking his car out at night . 
Ray and Sarah were also accustomed to it . 
Even if they were still awake they would suspect nothing . 
It was no consolation to know that Jimmy and she had been right , that Grant obviously had not only been the notorious jewel thief but had also murdered Greta . 
It seemed reasonable to suppose he had murdered her because she had come upon him in the act of stealing her jewellery . 
For once his timing had been wrong . 
He would n't have made the attempt if he had n't thought she would be out and he had undoubtedly known that the few servants , who slept in another wing , were asleep and would hear nothing . 
Probably he had had inside knowledge from one of them . 
It had obviously been the same with the other robberies he had pulled off . 
But the knowledge that she and Jimmy had been right did n't help her now . 
She did n't think that Grant would show her any more mercy than he had shown Greta . 
She blinked up at the stars and occasionally she saw lights and heard traffic as though they were passing through villages or towns . 
But presently they began to climb up a twisting road . 
They climbed higher and higher . 
The thought flashed through her mind , this is the Grande Corniche , the scenic highway road which links Nice and Monte Carlo . 
Very few people drove the Grande Corniche at night ; they either drove round the Moyenne Corniche or the road that skirted the Mediterranean . 
Her heart sank . 
What hope would she have of rescue in this desolate region ? 
Jimmy had warned her that questioning Grant might be dangerous . 
But what had finally prompted him to abduct her in this way with the obvious purpose of killing her ? 
Did he know that she had Greta 's clip ? 
He might easily have been listening outside the door . 
But if he had been , Sarah was equally in danger ; it was she who had found the clip in his car . 
She felt icy cold and completely desperate . 
He would have no hesitation about getting rid of the child as well as her in case she babbled something about the clip . 
Or would he be afraid to kill Sarah ? 
He had done his best to put the blame for Greta 's death on Ray ; but surely the police would never suspect that Ray had murdered his own daughter ? 
The thought gave her hope , though her own predicament was still as desperate . 
Grant was driving the car carefully . 
Obviously he did n't wish to be stopped for speeding . 
But finally after a terrific climb he drew the car to a standstill . 
Carol had managed to twist the rug off her head . 
She saw that it was a beautiful Mediterranean night with a full moon , a blue-black sky , and the stars were shining brightly . 
What a night on which to die , she thought , trying to feel amused . 
But it was impossible to feel amused for the cord with which he had bound her cut into her wrists and ankles ; the gag hurt her mouth . 
How would he kill her ? 
A shot would be the most merciful end and she knew he had a revolver with him . 
He came round and opened the back door of the car . 
" Had a nice ride ? " he asked in a hoarse , cynical voice . 
He removed the gag and untied her legs . 
The sudden sensation of freedom from her cramped position was almost exhilarating . 
" Few people pass here at night , " he said , " and I still have my gun . 
So you wo n't dare scream . 
I heard you and Sarah talking so I crept to your door and listened . 
I 've been worried about that damned clip ever since I lost it . 
You 're not a fool . 
I know you 've put two and two together ever since the child told you about the clip . 
But you suspected me before that , did n't you ? 
I knew by those questions you asked me the other night . " 
She raised herself to a sitting position . 
" Yes , I suspected you , but Jimmy Mattson also suspects you . 
He contacted the firm of Brevet & Rene2 in Marseilles . 
You have n't been trying to buy the lease of any luxury hotel . 
We also know there 's no Hotel Imperial in Marseilles where you could have stayed that night . 
If you kill me , as far as Jimmy is concerned it will be a definite proof of your guilt . " 
He asked almost wildly , " But how can I let you live , knowing that you know the truth ? 
You might propose a bargain — your life for your silence . 
But how could I ever trust you ? " 
"What are you going to do about Sarah ? " she asked . 
And despite her own danger that was the thought uppermost in her mind . 
" An accident , " he said . 
" Probably while she is swimming with the dog . " 
Carol shuddered , remembering the dream Sarah had had . 
All the same her voice was very calm as she asked , " What are you going to do with me ? " 
"You 're going over the edge , " he said . 
" This is the highest point on the Grande Corniche . 
It 's doubtful if they 'll find your body for many days — even weeks . 
And in the meanwhile I 'll be clear of the country . 
Your friend Jimmy Mattson may have his suspicions , but he wo n't have any proof . 
Ray wo n't have any proof either . 
Besides , Ray does n't suspect me of having had any connection with the recent jewel robberies or with Greta 's death . 
He does n't know that I have been bribing the household staffs of his friends for information about their employers ' habits and where they kept their jewellery , or that I was responsible for those friends who called upon the Baroness Beaufort the night her jewellery was stolen ; their presence gave me the chance to do what I wanted to do . " 
"Why did you kill the Countess Doriana ? " 
Carol asked . 
" She came home early from the party and found me at the job . 
I had to strangle her to silence her . 
I do n't feel any sense of guilt . 
She had always been a no-good woman . 
I 'm sorry about you , Carol ; you 're not a bad sort . 
It 's a pity you took it upon yourself to interfere with my affairs . " 
"Why would n't I ? " she threw back at him . 
" You left Ray 's cigarette lighter beside his dead wife 's body ; you did your best to implicate him . " 
"I happened to have the lighter in my pocket . 
I borrowed it ages ago when my own lighter ran out of fuel . 
I had to protect myself , and Ray was the obvious suspect . 
I 'm going to give you a drink and then I 'll take that clip from your handbag . 
There 'll be something pretty potent in that drink ; you wo n't feel any shock or pain . 
You 'll be unconscious by the time you go over . " 
He took a flask from his pocket and got a glass out of the glove compartment of the car . 
She set her lips firmly . 
" I wo n't drink it . " 
He shrugged . 
" Please yourself . 
But you 're a fool if you do n't . 
The sensation of falling from a great height ca n't be over pleasant . " 
"I 'd rather risk it , " she said . 
" You 'll have to shoot me before I 'll jump . 
And when my body is found the bullet will be traced back to your gun . " 
He gave a low laugh . 
" It happens to be Ray 's gun . 
I took it from his bedside table while he was sleeping . 
The police will undoubtedly think that you stumbled upon some fresh evidence which made it certain that Ray had murdered his ex-wife . 
The only thing he could do was to get rid of you . 
I 'll unbind your arms and then you drink this down . 
That 's the last thing you will remember . " 
He unbound her arms and then he tried to force the glass between her lips . 
" No , " she shrieked and pushed the glass away from her . 
He hit her hard across the face , but in her present state of nervous tension she scarcely felt it . 
" If you wo n't drink it , I do n't care , " he said presently . 
" You 're going over the edge anyhow . " 
She screamed again as he dragged her from the back of the car . 
Her legs collapsed under her . 
She fell sprawling at his feet . 
And then suddenly it happened . 
A shot rang out . 
He lurched and gave a cry and dropped beside her . 
It could not have been more than a few minutes later that she felt a man 's arms about her ; arms which were familiar and very dear to her . 
She opened her eyes and in the white moonlight she saw Ray 's face bending over her . 
" Darling , darling Carol , " he cried . 
" Are you all right ? " 
"Ray , " she whispered . 
She must have passed out for the next thing she knew he was shaking her . 
" My darling ! 
My darling ! 
Say something to me . " 
"I 'm all right , Ray , " she murmured . 
" How did you find where he had taken me ? " 
"Sarah had n't gone to sleep . 
She saw him grasp hold of you and gag you and take you out of the house . 
She rushed in and told me . 
I jumped out of bed and was dressed in a jiffy . 
While I dressed she told me about finding her mother 's clip in Grant 's car . 
I was n't so long after you . 
During a hold-up in the Nice traffic I was able to pick up his car . 
But when he started up the Grande Corniche I lost him temporarily . 
I was too intent on catching up with him to be aware that another car was following me . 
I had him in sight until he disappeared down the side road . 
I turned off the engine of the car and listened , and then the other car drew alongside me . 
It was a police car . 
They had been detailed to watch the villa and follow me if I tried to escape . 
Thank heavens they did follow me and that you screamed . 
I had no gun and Grant was armed . 
I should n't have had a chance if they had n't seen what was happening and shot him down . " " 
But I should be back in an hour or so . " 
"Oh , at the hospital , I suppose ! " 
Lorraine did not wait for her mother to confirm or deny this , but turned back to Noreen . 
With a smile and a sigh — for it was obvious that the twins were too taken up with their own affairs to enquire or sympathize — she went out . 
" Mr. Delorme was thrilled ! " 
Joanna went on breathlessly . 
" He 's suggested we should go to town as soon as it can be arranged , and , when we 're settled , he 's going to put us on at the Lys d'Or , which is a very exclusive night club . " 
Noreen looked doubtful . 
" But is that what you wanted ? 
I thought you hoped to get on the stage or television ? 
A night club sounds rather a come-down . 
I do n't want to sound discouraging , but are n't some of them pretty low dives ? " 
Lorraine , who had been lounging on the cushioned window-seat , straightened up and leant forward eagerly . 
" Do n't be so nai " ve and stupid , Norrie ! 
There are night clubs and night clubs , as you 'd know , if you were n't such an ignoramus ! 
This is one of the top places , frightfully swell . 
We 'll get a wonderful salary if we deliver the goods , and get to know a lot of useful people . " 
"Oliver knows Mr. Delorme quite well , " Joanna put in , not noticing how Noreen 's eyebrows went up at her unthinking use of his first name . 
" And if he backs anybody , that 's surely good enough ! " 
There was such warmth of partisanship in her tone that Noreen was astonished . 
She said impulsively : " But you hardly know him , Jo ! 
Mr. Randall , I mean . 
How can you be so sure that he 's on the level ? " 
Joanna stubbed out her cigarette with unnecessary fierceness . 
Her lovely eyes were defiant above cheeks whose colour had deepened at Noreen 's remark . 
" There are some people you do n't have to know for years before you can trust them . 
And Oliver Randall 's one of them . 
He 's absolutely wonderful ! 
He 's promised to find us a flat — " 
Over Joanna 's coppery head , Lorraine 's eyes met Noreen 's enquiring gaze . 
She laughed mischievously , and without envy . 
" As you may have gathered , Norrie , Jo 's fallen for the man , hook , line and sinker ! 
And I 'd say he 'd be equally enthusiastic , if it was n't for his wife 's restraining influence . 
I 've warned Jo already that she must walk warily when that lady 's around . " 
Joanna sprang suddenly to her feet . 
" Do n't talk rubbish , Lorraine ! 
I do like Oliver , and he 's been perfectly sweet to us both — you must admit that ! 
Not only to me , as you seem to imply . 
There 's no need to put ridiculous ideas into Norrie 's head . 
By the way ! " 
She turned to Noreen . 
" I suppose you realize that we want you to come with us when we go back to town ? 
We explained to Mr. Delorme that we must have you as our accompanist . " 
"Me ? " 
Noreen was taken aback . 
Somehow , she had quite overlooked this possibility , and though , at one time , she had been hurt by her sisters ' apparent disregard of her , she was now aware that the prospect of leaving Dorlcombe was oddly unwelcome . 
" Mummy wo n't like it if we all go off and leave her . " 
Joanna shrugged impatiently . 
" If you prefer to stick here in this dreary place — and you know just how dull and forsaken it is after the season 's over — that 's your look-out . 
But I must say I think it 's rather mean of you , especially after we insisted to Mr. Delorme that we must have you , as well . 
Let me talk to Mummy ! 
I do n't suppose she 'll raise any objection . " 
Noreen said no more . 
She felt that the twins would not understand if she attempted to make them see her point of view . 
Their trip to town , she thought , seemed to have changed them in some inexplicable way . 
She knew that they had always been ambitious , eager to try their wings in a wider sphere , but , now the chance had come , they seemed to be thinking of nothing and no one save themselves . 
Yet their mother , as Noreen knew , had done everything in her power to make them happy . 
Surely she would feel very lost and lonely if all her children deserted her ? 
When Mrs. Sangster returned , they could hear her talking to someone as she came up the stairs . 
Joanna and Lorraine looked at each other in bewilderment , but Noreen , recognizing Stephen 's quiet , pleasant voice , went out to meet them . 
She guessed , even before she saw the eager look on his face , that he had come with the express purpose of seeing Joanna , and her heart sank at the thought of his probable reception . 
" Mr. Redfern very kindly brought me home in his car , " Mrs. Sangster explained as they came into the room . 
Lorraine greeted him pleasantly enough , but Joanna 's greeting was barely polite . 
After a few moments of general conversation , Mrs. Sangster said : " Well , I 'm going to see about some supper . 
You 'll stay and have some with us , wo n't you , Mr. Redfern ? 
Lorraine dear , do come down with me and tell me all your news . 
I 'm longing to hear how you got on in town . 
And , Noreen , did you remember to feed the chickens ? " 
The two girls followed their mother downstairs , Noreen carefully shutting the door behind them , and deliberately ignoring Joanna 's murmur of protest . 
After they had gone , there was an awkward little silence , then Stephen said gently : " I hope everything went as well as you expected , Jo ? " 
"Oh yes ! 
Better , really . 
We shall be going to London at the end of this month . " 
She jumped up and began straightening some magazines on the table . 
" We 've been offered a very good engagement , you see . " 
He rose and came over , standing just behind her . 
A tiny shiver went down Joanna 's spine , but he did not touch her . 
" Well , that 's grand ! 
Just what you hoped for , is n't it ? 
As a matter of fact , I 've got some news for you , too . 
Though I 'm afraid it wo n't seem very exciting to you — now . " 
She swung round to face him , arms folded , clear eyes wide . 
She had changed from the suit she had worn for the journey , and was now wearing her favourite attire — a thin , woollen jersey and slacks . 
His hands clenched involuntarily as he looked at her — so lovely with that glow of colour in her cheeks , her hair a bright halo about her upthrown head . 
" Why not , Steve ? 
Always glad to hear of a friend 's good fortune ! " 
Her tone was deliberately casual and gay , and nothing in her manner betrayed the way in which her heart was racing . 
" Have you gone and got yourself engaged or something ? " 
He faced her steadily , no answering gaiety in his eyes . 
" You ca n't really think that , Jo . 
When you know there 's only one girl I 'd ever want to be engaged to . 
No , I 've come into some money — not a vast fortune , by any means , but enough to make me feel , at least , that I have something to offer you . " 
"But I — " Joanna began . 
She stepped quickly aside , and would have moved away from him , but he laid a restraining hand on her arm . 
Gentle though it was , there was the suggestion of power behind that touch , and involuntarily she stood still . 
" I 've never told you in so many words , " he went on , his voice as quiet and controlled as ever , " but you must have guessed that I care for you — very deeply . 
I 've loved you ever since you were a schoolgirl , Jo , but I did n't think I stood a chance compared with all your other admirers . 
You wanted gaiety and fun ; I was hard up and had to put my studies first . 
My parents sacrificed a lot to pay for my training , and it would n't have been right to let them down . 
But now I 'm really established , and with this unexpected legacy coming along — " 
With an impatient movement , she pulled free from him and turned quickly away towards the window , speaking with her back to him . 
" Do n't go on , Steve ! 
Oh , do n't think I do n't like you , and I suppose I should say thank you for — for wanting to marry me . 
But it 's quite impossible — it always will be impossible ! 
Do n't you understand , the sort of life you 're offering me — just living in Quaystone and keeping house and all that — it 's so deadly dull ! 
I want something different — all the things that I 've now got the chance of enjoying . 
Even if I loved you , I 'm afraid I would n't say yes ! " 
There was silence . 
Wondering , expecting a protest , she half turned and looked at him . 
He was standing motionless , a queer suggestion of defeat , of hopelessness , about the powerful shoulders , the bent head where the fair hair was so smoothly brushed , save for the unruly drake's-tail on the crown . 
Joanna 's eyes suddenly softened , and a reluctant feeling of compassion swept over her . 
But , before she could speak , he had recovered his normal self-control . 
" If you loved me , as you say , — well , it might not seem so " deadly dull . " 
But you do n't , and that 's that ! " 
He smiled , and held out his hand . 
" Let's part good friends , Jo dear . 
If you 're going to get your heart 's desire , that 's all that really matters to me . 
Will you apologize to your mother for me , and tell her I 'm sorry I ca n't stay to supper , after all ? " 
As the outer door shut behind him , Noreen put her head round the kitchen door and said doubtfully : 
" Did I hear somebody ? " 
"Steve 's gone . 
He could n't stay , after all , " Joanna said . 
She went quickly along the landing to her room and shut the door behind her . 
There she sat down on the edge of the bed , dabbing at her wet eyes , and telling herself not to be such a sentimental idiot . 
Silly to be shedding tears because you had turned down a man who did n't really matter a button to you . 
Oh , he 's nice enough ! 
Joanna admitted . 
But there 's nothing thrilling about poor old Steve . 
Nothing to make one 's nerves tingle and one 's heart race — as it had done only this morning . 
A dreamy smile spread over her face as her mind went back to those heavenly moments . 
Leaving Lorraine to finish their packing , she had gone out to buy some cigarettes , and , just outside the hotel , had almost run into Oliver . 
" I wanted to come and see you off , " he had told her , with that softening of his expression which always made her feel oddly breathless . 
" But my wife reminded me that I have an appointment at just about the time your train leaves , so I decided to nip along in the hope of seeing you before you left the hotel . 
It 's going to seem a long time until the end of this month , Jo my dear , but when you come back ... " his hand had closed over hers warmly " ... we 'll make up for all the empty days . 
Will they seem empty to you too , do you think ? " 
She had nodded , unable to find words that would tell him her feelings . 
" Well , it must be { 6Au revoir , then . " 
He had put his hands on her shoulders and smiled down into her eyes . 
" Wish this was n't such a damned public place , or I 'd say good-bye to you properly — you sweet thing ! " 
His voice fell to so soft a tone that she barely caught the last three words . 
And with that , before she could take a breath , he was gone , leaving her caught up to a pitch of excitement and ecstasy that was yet perilously near to tears . 
All the way home that parting speech had sung itself , over and over , in her mind . 
" You sweet thing . " 
Did that mean — no , it could n't mean that Oliver was in love with her ? 
But she reminded herself , he does n't say things like that to Lorraine ! 
He must like me better ! 
And then , following hard on that delicious knowledge would come the inevitable thought , But he 's married ! 
It ca n't mean anything — except that he 's taken a fancy to me . " 
Why you took the case , when you never touch anything of the sort . " 
For a second his grim , menacing anger frightened her as he half shouted : " Are you trying to suggest that I was her lover ? 
Responsible for — " He stopped . 
Conflict tortured him . 
Here was his supreme revenge : to tell her the truth ; shatter her faith in Philip ... 
Beryl was dead ... 
He shivered . 
Taking with her the only proof he had to discount this accusation . 
Sandra prayed , despite her vituperation , that he would have some defence , give her some denial , but all he said was : "If you believe me capable of that , we have nothing more to say to each other — nothing . " 
The hurt in him was like a wound — stinging , aching . 
Was this Philip 's work ? 
And even if it were , it came back to one man 's word against another and ... she loved Philip . 
Until then the exactitudes of his profession had demanded his silence , and now he was absolved from that promise , he found himself bound by his own love for her , his desire for her happiness . 
Far better that she should believe him to be a cad than the man she was going to marry and obviously loved so deeply . 
He doubted that Philip would betray her after all that had happened . 
Fear would be a deterrent . 
Sandra flung her arms out in a gesture of despair . 
" Do you leave me anything else to believe ? 
Or is your silence the cowardly way out ? " 
She hated the words , but they leapt from the torment of loving him ; from the tension , the weariness that made even breathing an effort . 
" Is this what has been in your mind all the time ? " 
He spoke with greater passion . 
" Was this why you wanted to leave the job just before Philip was taken ill ? " 
His mouth hardened , his eyes became steely . 
" I see . " 
Scorn lashed his words . 
" I wonder you dared trust him to my care . " 
"Nicholas — " 
" Well ! 
At least I know the truth . 
Truth ! " 
His gaze held hers masterfully . 
" You wanted it so badly — at any price . 
I hope you are satisfied . " 
And as he spoke , the thought of Philip lying in the other room filled him with a revulsion that was homicidal . 
Even in that , his hands were tied . 
He dare not precipitate what might well be another coronary . 
And in that second he put back his professional mantle , and said with such icy politeness , such withdrawn bitterness , that Sandra withered before it : " I will leave you the necessary prescription for the sedatives . 
You will contact your new doctor when you reach your parents ' house . " 
She watched him flick his fountain-pen from his waistcoat pocket , take out his prescription pad , and scribble on it . 
Then , with a gesture she knew so well , he tore off the leaflet and handed it to her . 
" Good-bye , Sandra , " he said with a deadly finality . 
Watching him go , unable to speak , she felt that part of her was leaving with him . 
She could n't hate him ... 
If only he would have confided in her , given some explanation . 
Now there was nothing — not even friendship . 
She went back to Philip . 
But all she could hear were Nicholas 's words : "I love you — oh , you know that well enough . " 
Love . 
She revolted against the word . 
Nicholas , Philip ... where was happiness , or peace of mind ? 
Philip put out a hand and grasped hers . 
He needed her . 
She would find solace in that fact at least . 
And she had n't to doubt his sincerity any more ... 
She had her truth . 
How much had built up from that first ideal , and how little joy , or satisfaction , it had given her . 
" I 'm sorry , darling . " 
He looked nervous . 
It had been hell lying there , knowing she was talking to Nicholas and wondering what they were saying . 
Sandra said instinctively : " I told him I knew he was responsible for Beryl 's death . " 
She rushed on : " His attitude ... 
I do n't know — something snapped . 
I could n't stand it ... 
Why do you look at me like that ? " 
"I asked you not to mention it . " 
Philip felt that he was running a high temperature as fear swirled back . 
What had Nicholas said ? 
" I would never have done so while Beryl was alive . 
He had n't any answer — except to suggest that if I believed him capable of that — " Her eyes darkened in torment . 
" Are you sure that she was telling the truth ? " 
"Good heavens , darling , why on earth should she lie ? 
Besides , it was n't just her word . 
There was enough evidence , no matter how one might want to disbelieve the facts . " 
Elation touched him after the cold wind of suspense . 
" It will be interesting to see what comes out at the inquest . 
What his story will be . 
I reckon he 'll confine himself to the nervous origin of her recent illness . 
His notes will be truthful , but what he leaves out will matter most . " 
Strange how just then Philip was so certain that Nicholas would never betray him . 
He loved Sandra too deeply to ruin her future happiness . 
Had ever circumstances conspired so cunningly ? 
Philip 's spirits soared . 
He was better ; he had made a miraculous recovery and Sandra would soon be his wife . 
The Devil , he thought , certainly looked after his own . 
Something in Sandra 's attitude struck him suddenly , making him say : " You ca n't forgive him for this — can you ? " 
"Forgive is an unctuous , patronizing word , " she replied . 
" I despise the deceit . 
The lies . " 
Philip could n't keep the words back . 
" Suppose you had loved him and all this came out . 
What then ? " 
Suppose you had loved him ... 
Sandra realized with a bitter futility that now it was her silence that was the lie . 
And Nicholas 's words re-echoed mockingly : " No human being could live with absolute truth . " 
"I could n't live without faith , Philip . 
Or with pretence . " 
She shivered . 
She was going to pretend for the rest of her life . 
Pretend to be in love with Philip even though she knew she would try never to utter those words . 
How honourable was that ? 
She looked at him , and his need of her , his dependence upon her , created a climate where self-delusion masqueraded as the right thing to do . 
How easy it would have been to cling to Nicholas , tell him that she could hardly bear life without him , no matter what he had done to make her despise him ... 
But to walk out on Philip , break her promise and end their relationship , for no better reason than what appeared as innate self-preservation . 
That was impossible . 
He had been honest with her and did n't deserve to be let down . 
She said suddenly , irrelevantly : " Beryl 's life recently — the whole thing — was very strange when you think of it . " 
"How ? " 
Philip looked startled . 
" Would she have married Nicholas in any case , since she loved you ? " 
Philip felt a stab of jealousy . 
" Are you trying to make his case good ? " 
"No ; to be fair . 
He seemed so amazed when I suggested marriage to her . 
I 've only thought of your illness lately — never studied all this beyond the angle of Beryl 's unhappiness and Nicholas being involved . 
I did n't tell you , but she called here two days ago . " 
"What ? " 
Philip felt that he had been swirled down a bumpy lift . 
" But — why ? " 
He hastened . 
" Why should she call ? " 
"Oh , just to thank me and to inquire about you . 
Looking back , her attitude was strange . 
She seemed afraid — " 
" Of Nicholas , " Philip said insinuatingly . 
Sandra could n't deny that , and the more she dwelt on it all , the more curious it became . 
" She spoke about wondering if she ought to tell me — " Sandra began to shiver . 
Philip managed to keep his voice steady . 
" I can imagine Nicholas putting the fear of God into her . 
The last person he would want told was you . " 
It added up , and Sandra nodded . 
" But it is still like looking at a picture in shadow . " 
"I told you that — soon after the cottage episode . 
What was she keeping back ... 
We certainly shall not discover now . 
One thing I am convinced about . 
Her death links up with her miscarriage . 
She told me once he was determined she should not go through with the pregnancy . " 
Sandra gave a pained cry . 
" Darling , I hinted that , too , you remember . 
I did n't want to sound too dramatic , or — well — " 
" I know . " 
She felt very sick as she sat there , desolate . 
It was all so ugly . 
Philip wanted to settle the problem — leave no loopholes . 
" She lost either way , really . 
He would n't marry her , and he dare not risk the threat of the child . 
Obviously it would have been a handicap to her , too , and in her saner moments she must have been thankful to get out of the mess ... 
But she was neurotic . 
It 's my guess that the cottage episode was the beginning of the end for her . " 
Sandra pressed the point . 
" Meaning that Nicholas deliberately got rid of the child ? " 
Philip was far too deep in the lies to retreat from that direct question . 
" Yes . 
Her fear of him was pretty obvious . 
He had to take care of her professionally , but he certainly did n't want you to know the facts . 
She probably did . 
Beryl was a lonely person and had very few friends . " 
Sandra nodded . 
" Let's not talk of it again , " she said dully . 
" I ca n't bear it ... 
Everything 's ready . " 
She looked around her . 
Part of her life was ending ; a part she had loved . 
Leaving the flat and staying at Monk 's Toft would be an ordeal , despite the rest from perpetual work . 
Philip relaxed again . 
Now there was only the inquest , and he had nothing whatsoever to fear from that . 
It was far too late for Nicholas to make any accusations . 
EIGHTEEN 
THE inquest offered no surprise . 
Nicholas 's evidence conformed strictly to the law and ethics . 
Miss Graham had been in his care . 
She had been in a highly nervous state . 
A verdict of suicide while the balance of her mind was disturbed , was returned . 
Philip put down the evening newspaper , looked at Gordon Neal , and said : " Very sad . 
Nicholas 's testimony said everything and nothing . 
One never knows the truth of these cases . " 
Sandra did n't speak . 
She felt that some part of her had petrified , leaving only a shell . 
She lived mechanically , and while physically rested , even as the days became a week and then two , she found it impossible to overcome the desolation building up around her . 
Philip was amazingly better and already busy on a new play . 
He worked in bed , using a portable typewriter , and was completely absorbed in his task . 
Sandra was there — to attend to all his needs . 
His world was whole again and he , to himself , its hub . 
With illness had come an intense instinct for self-preservation , a concentration upon his desires . 
What was good for him ; what was not . 
Not overdoing it . 
The doctor recommended by Nicholas called each week and then suggested that no further calls were necessary . 
Philip felt like the child no longer centre stage . 
It was Beatrice who said one evening after dinner , " Had n't we better make some plans for the wedding ? 
Quiet , of course . " 
Philip smiled smugly . 
" They are made . 
I 've a special licence and notification has been given to the vicar . 
The best of having a secretary , " he added , talking of one he had acquired since leaving London . 
" Brandon 's good . 
It only needs Sandra to name the day . " 
Gordon said curtly , " It is usual for the bride 's parents to have some hand in all this , you know , Philip . " 
Philip bristled . 
" It was never our intention to have one of those carnival affairs , " he retorted and in that second , he became the man of success exerting authority . 
Sandra watched her father 's face pale . 
Philip , she knew , got on his nerves , but everything had gone over her head . 
It did n't really matter what was being said because she was no longer a part of it . 
The thought of Nicholas haunted her , the sense of loss crucifying . 
Her father 's comment roused her as he said , " I was not talking of a carnival . 
But I presume we shall be allowed to have one or two of our friends at the ceremony . " 
" Yes , we were , " she stammered out and hated herself for a nervous stammer . 
" Wo n't you two ladies both join me in a little drink then we can all go into the dance room together . " 
Vera looked at Caroline . 
" We shall be pleased to , Mr. Carson , " said Caroline . 
David found them a small table pulled up three chairs waited until the two were seated , then he said : 
"I think this calls for a celebration . 
It is not often I have the luck to be entertaining two such charming ladies . 
Excuse me a moment . " 
As he strode off towards the bar , Vera said : 
" Is n't he delightful ? " 
"He seems nice . 
Perhaps he has taken a fancy to you , Vera . " 
"Not he . 
I told him on our first meeting that I was engaged to a very nice young man . " 
At the bar David ordered a bottle of champagne and three glasses to be sent over to his table . 
He thought that perhaps a glass or two of champagne might get Miss Dodd into a friendly mood . 
He returned to the table , sat down and offered them both a cigarette from his gold case . 
They both took one , he flicked on his lighter and held it for them then lit his own . 
A waiter came along with the glasses and the champagne , he started to open the bottle . 
Vera said : 
" Champagne ! 
This is certainly a celebration . " 
Later after they had finished the bottle of champagne and David had taken care to see Caroline had had her glass filled three times they adjourned to the dance room to dance . 
Vera immediately excused herself to go off and dance with a man she knew . 
David said : 
" Shall we dance ? " 
"I should love to . " 
The band had just started to play a waltz . 
David was a very good dancer , rather to his surprise he found Caroline was also . 
Their steps fitted excellently together . 
A waltz is one of the dances which enables a man to get close to the woman . 
The moment he found she danced as well as he did he drew her closer to him , she gave willingly . 
When the dance came to a finish , he said : 
" It is awfully hot in here . 
What about coming into the lounge and having a cool drink ? " 
Now while they had been dancing Caroline had not failed to notice the eyes of quite a number of women were eyeing her with envy . 
She thought it would be rather fun to walk off with this nice-looking man into the lounge and leave them all annoyed . 
" I think a nice cool drink would be nice . 
As you say it is very hot in here . " 
Taking her by the arm David led her from the room into the lounge . 
He beckoned over a waiter . 
" What would you like to drink ? " he asked . 
" A lemon squash with ice . " 
David ordered it , and a whisky and soda for himself . 
After they had been served he said : 
" I was taking a stroll the other morning and happened to pass by your house . 
From the glance I obtained of the ground through the gates you must have quite a wonderful garden . " 
"We have . 
I say we because it does not all belong to me , my sister and I share the place between us . " 
Pretending he was unaware the sister was away he said : 
" Does n't your sister ever come here to dance ? " 
"Often when she is at home . 
At the moment she is staying with friends in Eastbourne . " 
"So you are all alone for the time ? " 
"Not quite alone . 
I have the servants and lots of friends . 
Are you staying long here ? " 
"I would n't know . 
Depends on whether I get bored or not . 
When I get bored I move on . " 
"Not bored yet I hope ? " 
"I should never be bored in such charming company as yours . " 
In spite of herself Caroline felt herself flush . 
" You must come and take a look round the grounds of the Manor House one day , that is if you would care to do so . " 
"Nothing would give me greater pleasure . 
Can we make a definite date ? " 
"Come and have tea with me tomorrow afternoon at four o'clock . 
After tea I will show you round the house and grounds . " 
"I shall be delighted to . 
Most kind of you to ask me . " 
Caroline was thinking , that will make some of the women in the other room jealous when they hear I have landed this man to tea with me . 
David was thinking , I believe if I play my cards rightly I shall land this woman in my arms in time . 
How wonderful it would be to marry a quarter of a million pounds . 
He felt she had been on the shelf for so long , if she really fell for him , once they were married , he would have no difficulty in getting her to settle a nice sum on him . 
Feeling it would not be wise to rush matters so soon he finished his drink and suggested they returned to the dance room . 
Caroline could do nothing but agree although she would have liked to stay and continue talking with him . 
Back in the dance room David found her a seat and went and asked Vera to dance . 
" Well , how do you like my friend Carrie ? " asked Vera as they took the floor . 
" I like her very much . 
She dances well and seems quite a charming young woman . " 
"Carrie is a darling really . 
Just unfortunate for her she does not possess the lovely looks of her sister . 
Every man in Gallows Corner is mad on Susie . " 
"That I suppose leaves Miss Caroline rather out in the cold ? " 
"Yes . 
They are both terribly wealthy . 
I have never been able to understand why some man has not tried to snap up Carrie . 
She is the sort who would make a good wife for a man . " 
"You do n't think the sister would , is that it ? " 
"No , that is not it . 
It is Susie , although she has heaps of admirers she never seems to bother much about them . 
When at home she is always too busy with her horses , riding to the hounds and taking part in ladies ' point-to-point races . 
Susie is a wonderful horsewoman . " 
David had one more dance with Caroline later that evening then he excused himself with the excuse he was feeling tired and thought he would turn in . 
Saying he would be sure to be with her at four o'clock the next afternoon , he said good night and left her . 
David could see she was longing for him to stay and dance once again with her . 
He knew he was doing the right thing in not doing so . 
That would make her look forward all the more to the next day . 
He went to bed feeling most satisfied with the evening . 
CHAPTER FOUR 
EVERYONE in Gallows Corner spoke of it as a whirlwind engagement when it was announced two weeks later that Caroline Dodd had become engaged to David Carson . 
David had hurried his love-making up for the very good reason his capital was fast disappearing and he was wise enough to know it would never do to ask Caroline to lend him any money , after they were once married he would see to it she made a settlement on him . 
Caroline had never been made love to by such an experienced man as David Carson , he literally swept her off her feet . 
She felt sure she had at last found a man who would make her happy for life . 
The moment the engagement was announced congratulations from most of the women in Gallows Corner poured in to Caroline . 
The men had varied opinions , the single ones began to feel annoyed they had not tried to snap up such a wealthy woman in spite of her plain looks before this Carson appeared , the married men told their wives Caroline was a fool that they were sure Carson was merely wishing to marry her for her money . 
Most of the wives argued the point , they , like their single sisters , felt Caroline was lucky to have managed to get one of the best-looking men they had ever seen . 
David , who sensed the various opinions and felt some pressure might eventually be brought to bear on Caroline to think again , pleaded for an early marriage . 
She was not adverse to the suggestion , but he had to use a deal of pressure before she would agree to a quick marriage at a registry in Starminster . 
She wished for a marriage in a church with bridesmaids . 
It was only when David said he was a Roman Catholic , and unless he agreed to embrace her religion , it would not be possible for him to marry her in the Church of England , that she at last agreed to a registry marriage . 
Perhaps what finally decided her was a letter she received from her sister , Susie , telling her not to think of getting married until they had found out more about this David Carson , than she had been able to tell her in her letter . 
Susie said she would be returning to Gallows Corner the following week and would like to meet this man and decide what she thought of him . 
Knowing what a lovely girl her sister was , Caroline felt by doing so she could be running the risk that David , once he set his eyes on Susie , might change his mind about her so she told David to go into Starminster and arrange the wedding as quickly as possible . 
That fitted in well with David 's plans . 
In Starminster he arranged for them to be married in three days ' time . 
It was only on the morning before they were to get married that he arrived at the Manor House pretending to look a very harassed man . 
" Darling , " he burst out with , " I fear we shall have to postpone our marriage for a few days . " 
"Why , David , why ? " cried Caroline , feeling alarmed he had changed his mind . 
" Well , dearest one , it is like this , when I left my apartment in London for a short holiday I only drew from my bank enough cash to last me about three weeks . 
The trouble now is , I left my cheque book in my rooms and only recalled that I had done so about half an hour ago . 
I must go back to London to get some more money , we can not start off on a honeymoon on the small amount I have left , and I 've got to pay my hotel bill in the morning . 
That is why I said we must postpone our wedding until I get back . " 
David Carson had no apartment in London , he had no cheque book . 
He had carefully thought out the lie he had just told hoping the reaction to it would be Caroline would refuse to have her wedding postponed and offer to lend him money enough to last until they returned from their honeymoon . 
If her reaction was not like that and she just said , very well , go to London and get back as quickly as possible , he would then just have to disappear from Gallows Corner for ever leaving his hotel bill unpaid . 
Luckily her reaction was what he had hoped it would be . 
" David , I simply wo n't agree to any postponement of our wedding tomorrow . 
You are a silly to look so worried about the matter . 
I can lend you whatever money you require until we return then you can pay me back . " 
"That is sweet of you to say that , sweetheart , but I hardly like to borrow from you the large amount I shall require for our honeymoon . " 
David was continuing to play it up well . 
" Do n't be absurd , darling , I can advance you any amount you ask for , " said Caroline . 
" Do n't you know I am a very wealthy woman ? " 
David pretended astonishment at this announcement . 
" Heavens ! 
Carrie , I had no idea you were a wealthy woman . 
Naturally I thought you must have some money to be able to pay your share of the keep up of the Manor House . " " 
I shall serve them with tomatoes and olives , which I hope you will enjoy . " 
"I 'm sure I shall . 
Your cooking 's wonderful . " 
Julia lingered on in the room for another few minutes , then she ventured cautiously downstairs again . 
Adrian was now sitting with the Portuguese engineer and his silent wife , and another man , discussing seafaring matters in English . 
Julia attached herself to Lieutenant Robson , reminding him he had promised to play dominoes with her again . 
Their game lasted till nearly ten o'clock when Sen4ora Gonzalez commanded everybody inside for dinner . 
Adrian excused himself , said " goodnight " with a meaningful glance which Julia chose to ignore , and drove off in the jeep . 
Julia felt depressed and a trifle sad as Luis conveyed her to Don Felipe 's house on Saturday morning . 
Just before she left the Tafira , a message had been delivered from the shipping company , instructing her to be at their offices on the quay at seven o'clock on Monday morning ready to embark in the Juno for Southampton , sailing punctually at ten . 
As she looked out at the white sunlit streets , and the palms and the flowers , with glimpses of the blue sea and the golden beaches between the buildings , Julia knew she did not want to leave all this so soon . 
Yet in another forty-eight hours her holiday would be over , and she would be on her way back to the grey English winter and all the worries of finding a new job and a roof over her head . 
She sighed , thinking how unkind fate could be at times . 
The morning began just the same as the others . 
The old flower-woman sat in her usual place , and as Julia mounted the steps to the house , Alvaro opened the door and made his bow to her . 
Pepita was wheeling a little wicker cart round the pool today , the white cat sitting inside on a cushion . 
She rushed to meet her friend eagerly . 
" Yoo-li-ah ! 
Yoo-li-ah ! " 
When she had swept her curtsey , and held out the lace-trimmed flounce of her frock for admiration , Pepita led Julia off to help her push the cart . 
Soon they were chattering away gaily . 
" { El helado , " gurgled Pepita as the maid brought out two glass dishes . 
" Ice-cream , " Julia insisted . 
They both thought it quite funny when they discovered chocolate was the same in both languages . 
Suddenly Julia realised she was going to miss this little Spanish child , so full of affection and the simple joy of life . 
It was impossible to feel dull when Pepita was there . 
Julia said as much to Don Felipe when he came home . 
" I have n't the heart to say goodbye , " she remarked as they watched the maid pick up the little girl ready to carry her off to the nursery . 
" I 've enjoyed Pepita so much . " 
"Ah , yes . 
You propose to sail home in the Juno , do you not ? " 
"That 's right , alas . 
And you wo n't want me here tomorrow , as it 's Sunday , of course . " 
"I must tell Pepita then , " he said firmly . 
" You can not be allowed to part without exchanging your farewells . 
It would not be courteous . " 
He spoke rapidly in Spanish and the result was extraordinary . 
Hastily the maid set the child down again and retreated into the background . 
Pepita stood there staring at Julia with all the happiness draining out of her pretty little face . 
Her black eyes filled with anguish , the tears brimming over and coursing down her cheeks . 
Without speaking a word , she flung herself upon Julia , seizing the girl round the knees . 
When Julia bent to try and comfort her , Pepita uttered a heartrending wail and then broke into a torrent of excited Spanish punctuated by screams and sobs . 
" Pepita does not wish you to leave her , " Don Felipe said quietly . 
" She is desolate , as indeed I am myself . " 
"This is awful , " Julia exclaimed in consternation . 
" Do please tell her to stop crying , Don Felipe . 
I ca n't bear it . 
If you could explain it is n't that I really want to go home . 
I just have to . " 
Her father spoke to the child , but she went on weeping . 
" Yoo-li-ah ! 
Yoo-li-ah ! " she moaned beseechingly , still clinging to the girl 's knees and refusing to be lifted up . 
" Oh , dear ! " 
Julia exclaimed . 
" Whatever can I do ? " 
"You could remain in Las Palmas , " Don Felipe pointed out . 
" That would make my Pepita so happy again . 
It is rarely she finds a companion who is as congenial to her as you obviously are . " 
"But how can I stay ? " 
Julia began . 
" I only wish I could . " 
"I should be only too delighted to engage you as governess for Pepita , " he answered . 
" You would soon acquire sufficient Spanish to be able to help her with her first lessons . 
You could read to her , and sing with her and so on . 
Enlarge her knowledge of English still more . 
It would not be arduous , and naturally I would pay you an ample salary . 
So will you not agree to spend the winter in Las Palmas , Miss Barclay , and dry Pepita 's tears ? " 
Julia hesitated . 
It was certainly an exciting offer , far more attractive than going back to London . 
She might continue to live at the Hotel Tafira for the next few months , enjoying the climate and the friendly beach and cafe2 life . 
And there was Don Felipe himself , the handsome man watching her now with an unaccustomed trace of anxiety in his eyes . 
Feminine intuition told Julia he wanted her to stay on for his own sake as well as Pepita 's . 
It was flattering to know a man like this one considered you important to him . 
She realised she was weakening , but then all at once she remembered what she had heard the previous evening . 
Yet it was probably no more than gossip that Mrs Henderson had repeated , and what Sen4ora Gonzalez had told her cast no reflection on Don Felipe either . 
He could not be blamed for his father 's state of mind . 
Adrian had said she might be running into danger with him , but Adrian could be wrong , and anyway it was no business of his what Julia Barclay did . 
He had no right to dictate to her , behaving in that high-handed fashion . 
She felt herself stiffening again as she remembered his voice and manner . 
She would show Adrian he was completely wrong , and stupidly old-fashioned at that . 
She found Don Felipe fascinating from every aspect . 
She lifted her eyes to smile at him now . 
" You make it sound too tempting , " she surrendered . 
" Very well , then , if you do really think I 'm capable of being Pepita 's teacher . 
I 've never done anything of that sort before , you know . " 
"I am quite satisfied , " he replied . 
" So you will stay , Miss Barclay ? " 
"Yes , I will . 
And thank you ... 
Do please tell Pepita . 
I ca n't bear to see her like this . " 
She watched the child 's expression change as her father spoke to her . 
She ceased to sob and the light stole back into her face again . 
For a few moments she gazed up at Julia doubtfully , incredulously . 
Then gradually the dark eyes grew bright once more , and even began to sparkle as was their wont . 
Julia lifted her up , and she immediately wound her small arms round the girl 's neck , nuzzling her cheek , snuggling against her hair . 
Don Felipe smiled as he watched them . 
" Pepita is restored , " he said . 
" We are both most grateful to you . " 
There was a rustling sound behind them , and Julia half-turned to see Don4a Beatriz standing on the tiles . 
It was the first time Julia had ever met the older woman outside the dining-room . 
One moment Don4a Beatriz was in her vision , a tall black figure staring at the little scene . 
The next she was gone again . 
Julia was almost convinced her eyes must have deceived her . 
Pepita was finally carried off to the nursery , and as Don Felipe led the way indoors to luncheon , Don4a Beatriz was already there , sitting in her accustomed chair at the foot of the long table . 
She bowed gravely to Julia , acknowledging the girl 's greeting , and began to serve in her usual silence . 
Julia had already realised there was something quite off-beat about Don4a Beatriz , so she was careful to address only Don Felipe at her side throughout the meal . 
They discussed the fiesta , which he waved aside as a trifling celebration in Las Palmas . 
" In the country it is much more important , " he said . 
" Harvest is something for which we offer gratitude indeed there . 
I shall be out at my own estate in the morning , marking the day with my workpeople . 
My land is around the village of San Bernardo , a beautiful valley with many foothills . 
I have a large house there beside the river . 
You must see it one day . " 
"Yes , I should like to . " 
"You have not penetrated the interior of the island yet ? 
No ? 
It will surprise you . 
The mountains are so majestic they take the breath away when they are viewed for the first time . " 
"You 've another house at Tojeda , have n't you ? " 
Julia remembered . 
" On the cliffs — somebody was telling me — " Then she stopped abruptly , realising what she was saying . 
Don Felipe had begun to peel himself a peach . 
He completed the delicate operation before he answered . 
Then he laid down his silver knife and looked at Julia directly as he spoke . 
" So . 
People have talked about me . 
I wonder what else they said about Tojeda . 
No , do not trouble to tell me , Miss Barclay . 
I can guess . 
I know what scandal is tossed about in the cafe2s and hotels . " 
Julia felt a trifle uncomfortable . 
" I did n't really pay great attention , " she began , but imperiously he cut her short . 
" We will discuss this matter later , " he said , " when we may be private . 
Now tell me , have you been to the aquariums yet ? ... " 
As soon as the meal ended , Don4a Beatriz slipped away as usual and Don Felipe indicated that Julia was to follow him . 
" We will go to my study , " he decided . 
" I have to speak to you about Pepita 's education among other things . " 
He led Julia to a wing of the house she had not seen before . 
Like all the rest , this room was richly furnished , with handsome red brocade curtains , and a carved mahogany desk and chairs . 
Don Felipe unlocked a drawer and handed Julia an envelope . 
" Your salary to date , " he explained . 
" On Monday we begin our new arrangement , of course . 
I had thought ... " 
He named a figure which Julia knew was generous in the extreme . 
" So you will be here at the same time then . 
The car will call for you as usual . " 
"Thank you very much , Don Felipe . 
I 'll do my best . " 
She waited , thinking he was going to talk to her about his daughter , and what he wanted a governess to do , but Don Felipe made no mention of Pepita now . 
Instead he frowned to himself for a moment , as though lost in thought . 
Then he lifted his head and asked quietly : 
" I wonder what tales you have heard about me , Miss Barclay . 
Could you not repeat them to me ? " 
"Well , I do n't quite know — " Julia hesitated . 
Don Felipe twisted his lips into a wry smile . 
" It was obviously unflattering to me , " he remarked . 
" But there is no need to be embarrassed , Miss Barclay . 
I know what is said on the island . 
Loose tongues wag here just as they do everywhere else . 
Gran Canaria is certainly a paradise , but it has its serpents too . " 
He paused to consider her . 
Julia returned his glance sympathetically , appreciating that it was not easy for this man to bare his innermost feelings . 
Don Felipe continued : 
" You have plainly heard uncharitable comments about me , so you must permit me to tell you the facts myself . 
Seven years ago I married the daughter of one of my fellow landowners , Don Miguel de Francia . 
We were deeply in love and very happy . 
After Pepita 's birth , the doctors informed my wife that she could bear no more children . 
Naturally it was a tremendous grief . 
We had hoped for sons to carry on our name . " " 
The best thing we can do seems to be to concentrate on work , does n't it ? " 
"Under Rufus Horgan ! " he said . 
Andrea flinched . 
For a moment she had forgotten that , and now the sting in his voice made her think he was trying to hurt her . 
Not that she could have blamed him . 
Then she remembered how he had been passed over , and realised how he must feel . 
And on top of that to have almost won her , only to see for himself how the idea suddenly revolted her . 
No , she could n't blame him for wanting to hurt her ! 
" Under him , as you say , " she agreed dully . 
" It 's life , I suppose . 
And now — goodbye . " 
"Will you be here or at the house tomorrow ? " 
"Here — to begin with . 
Goodbye . " 
On the second attempt , she got away . 
She could not bear to let him know Mark had not made any definite arrangements about her going to his home again . 
Perhaps never , she thought , when at last she was in her own room , staring at her white face in the mirror . 
Perhaps she had given herself away too blatantly , and he would keep clear of her . 
He had Pauline to interpret his wants , so perhaps any typist would do — 
Next day , a sickening desert of hours in the office , it seemed she was right . 
There was no phone call for her . 
Normally she could have telephoned the house to ask how he was , but now she was too ashamed . 
Then , late in the afternoon , when she had ceased hoping to hear his voice every time her telephone rang , Gus answered a call . 
She stiffened , listening . 
" Oh , it 's you , Mark ? " she heard him say . 
" Still making-out ? 
Fine ! 
Something you want us to do here ? " 
Andrea trembled . 
She kept her pencil moving and her head bent , but she was straining to hear every word . 
" Oh , hell ! " was all Gus said at first . 
The receiver crackled for a while , and then : "Well , we 'll go through with it . 
You know you can trust Andrea and me . 
The guy need n't know we hate his guts for coming here instead of you . 
You want me in on your first conference ? 
O.K. Thanks a lot — " 
Mark must have said goodbye then , for the American put down the receiver . 
She felt him looking across at her , but would not look up until he said : 
" Horgan 's coming tomorrow . 
I guess I 'd better go and break it to the boys in the lab . " 
He eased himself up and ambled off . 
By the time he came back , she had taken a grip on her whirling emotions , managed to sound cool when she spoke . 
" Gus , " she said , " what about that leakage business ? 
Does Dr. Horgan have to know ? " 
"He 'll have to know I suppose . 
It 'll all come out in the handover . 
Now , if I could just trip over one of my own feet , or something , and did n't have to meet him tomorrow over at Mark 's place — " 
" Do n't be absurd . 
You have to keep your job . " 
"And I have to bring him back and induct him here , and the scientist in me sure hates it . 
Understand ? " 
"Yes . 
And I 'm sure Mark does , too . 
I 'm sure everyone feels the same . " 
"They 're taking it badly in the lab . 
You know , I think Mark 's latest theory about the leakage — that it was just coincidence — was right . 
I ca n't see any of those boys letting out a word of what passes here , even if they know — which , thanks to the system , none of us really does . " 
"I think it 's all over , anyway . 
Any instructions for me tomorrow , while you 're away ? " 
"Just see the place is all spruced up and no dust on the files , " he said with an attempt at an understanding grin . 
" And have one of the girls from the typing school warned she may be needed . 
Mark will want you with him and Horgan quite a bit . 
I 've to run the show here until he has everything sewn up . 
Though how I shall do it , I just do n't know . " 
"You 'll manage perfectly , " she said automatically . 
He said nothing more . 
Next morning she was in charge of the office ; Gus did n't come back for lunch , which she had a vision of Pauline serving to the three scientists . 
Andrea ate in the canteen hastily , but forcing herself to mix with the other girls as though today was just like any other day — as it was to them . 
The shock and sensation of Mark 's blindness was over , and unless his successor turned out to be young and attractive they were barely interested . 
The moment she glimpsed Dr. Horgan through the office window , getting out of Gus ' car , she knew he was no heart-throb . 
He wore rimless glasses , was short , conventionally dressed and dedicated-looking . 
Mark , without his height and personal magnetism , she supposed bitterly . 
Then the two men came into the office , and Gus was introducing her . 
Dr. Horgan 's eyes behind his spectacles were friendly and his smile kind . 
" Dr. Pentland told me about you , Miss Holme , " he said , shaking hands . 
" I 'm sure we shall work well as a team — and I 'm to have the benefit of sitting-in on your work with him for a time . 
The idea is that we meet and work at his home in the mornings and I remain behind for fuller discussion in the afternoon . 
Today I 'm simply looking round — " 
Gus led the way , showing him what had been Mark 's desk and his small inner office which he had used for highly secret work . 
Then they went off to the lab and the other departments , and Andrea could drop the forced smile from her lips and stare into space . 
It sounded as though she might never again be alone with Mark . 
Why should she want to be ? she asked herself furiously . 
Why offer herself again and again for punishment ? 
The door opened and Gus came back . 
" Leaving him to get acquainted , " he explained . 
" Did you see Pauline ? " 
He blinked , looking at her vaguely . 
" Did I ? 
Sure . 
She served us a pretty good lunch . 
" She 's certainly settled down . 
Old Mark seems to rely on her quite a bit . " 
Even if the words were not meant as a barb they drove deep into Andrea 's heart . 
CHAPTER 14 Talk Of Pity 
FOR Andrea the next few days were terrible . 
Not only for herself , but in knowing Mark 's agony in gradually transferring his affairs , including his confidential secretary , to the older man . 
Particularly the agony of those talks from which even she was excluded , when he confided the highly secret details of his discoveries . 
The only way she could get through the days was by turning herself into a sort of robot and trying not to think — not to feel when she saw from Mark 's expression that his head was aching with strain . 
Not to care that behind the very dark glasses , that gave him such a distinguished look , were eyes that could not see . 
It was about ten days before Dr. Horgan worked in the factory office , when he dictated a few letters after returning from Mark 's home . 
And then one afternoon Horgan came soon after lunch . 
Andrea saw him drive up and get out briskly . 
" Dr. Pentland has some jobs for you , Miss Holme , " he said , striding in . 
" Call in a typist for me and go over to him , will you ? 
I may not get back there today — it depends on the work here . " 
Andrea telephoned the typing pool . 
As she did so , she met Gus ' eyes . 
This is the take-over , they said , as plainly as speech , and she knew that it was true . 
This might be the very last time she would go to the Pentlands ' home to work for Mark ... 
It was a lovely afternoon , mockingly lovely . 
Once the rectangular steel-and-glass blocks of the factory were behind her and she was cycling along the short-cut , she might have been in the heart of unspoilt country . 
There was a drone of bees in the roses over the porch of the house , and a great bowl of half-opened roses on the old chest in the hall . 
Pauline , Andrea thought , as she turned into Mark 's office — and then the flicker of jealousy roared up into a great burning flame . 
For Pauline was in the office with Mark — very close to him . 
Andrea had a horrible impression that they sprang apart as she entered . 
" Oh — " the blonde exclaimed , turning . 
" I did n't hear you . " 
For a moment Andrea thought she was going to burst into tears so overwhelming was the certainty that all her vague feelings about Pauline and Mark had been only too well founded . 
And then her throbbing pulses steadied , for she saw there were books scattered over the carpet between them , and an overturned bowl of roses . 
Pink , cream and scarlet , they were lying everywhere . 
" Dr. Horgan said you wanted me — " she got out . 
" I do . " 
Mark turned his head in her direction , while his hands groped for the back of a nearby chair . 
" But I 've just been extremely clumsy , trying to find my way around . 
Knocked something over and turned the whole room into a shambles , apparently ! " 
"Oh , no — it 's not so bad as that . " 
Pauline stooped and began dabbing at the water on the carpet with a scarf she had pulled from her neck . 
" It 's just a good thing I had n't left to do your mother 's shopping before you shouted for me . " 
"Do n't worry . 
Andrea could have cleared up . " 
"Why yes , of course . 
But I did n't know she was coming . 
It 's all my fault , Mark , not warning you where the flowers were . " 
"Well , leave it , now , or you 'll miss your bus . " 
"Yes . 
I 'd better get another pair of gloves — " 
The girl was wearing her outdoor coat — fabric gloves , and big china earrings that , as usual , warred with the rest of her outfit . 
She was strangely breathless . 
As for Mark , unless it was a trick of the light , he looked very white . 
Was it true that Pauline had dashed in in response to a shout from him when everything cascaded down off the top of the bookcase ? 
Or had there been a love scene , when some clumsy movement of Mark 's might have caused the accident ? 
There was certainly a strange tension in the air . 
" You do n't mind fetching a cloth from the kitchen ? " 
Pauline asked . 
" I simply must run ! " 
"I 'll see to it . 
Do n't worry . " 
Andrea wheeled and went off , leaving them to say what they liked to each other . 
But Pauline came out at once . 
Andrea heard her go racing upstairs , then the rapid opening and shutting of a drawer and her footsteps coming down again . 
" So sorry to trouble you ! " she called , turning her fair head to flash the other girl a smile as they passed in the hall . 
As Pauline ran out and down the drive , Andrea braced herself and walked back into the office . 
Mark was still standing where she had left him — she had to go down almost at his feet , to mop up the water . 
" I 'll rearrange the flowers and I 'd better get a towel to dry the books , " she said , trying to sound casual and failing . 
There was something in the atmosphere ! 
It could only mean she had blundered in on a love scene , however unpremeditated and brief it might have been . 
" Do , please , " Mark said curtly . 
It seemed to take hours of coming and going , and all the time he stood there , until he must have known by her silence that it was all cleared up . 
" Have you finished ? " he asked . 
" Sorry to be such a clumsy oaf . 
Better get down to work now , had n't we ? 
It 's really only a few personal letters . " 
"I 'm ready . 
Are n't you going to sit down ? " 
"Thanks , I 'd rather stand — " 
He paced up and down , feeling his way by the chairs that were always strategically placed for him . 
His mind was obviously distracted — these letters to people who had written sympathetically about his tragedy seemed to give him more trouble than the most intricate scientific calculations . 
Gaby touched his wrist . 
" Now that we are in my country , will you allow me to choose for you a really French meal ? " 
"Of course . " 
As she gave the order to the waiter , using her hands so expressively it was difficult for Rob to imagine why she had singled him out . 
She could surely have had any man she wished . 
She was looking very young tonight , and , as usual , indescribably beautiful , in a simple strapless dress of a green and white silky cotton . 
Her shoulders and face were still tanned , and in this light the shade of her hair had deepened to a burnt honey . 
She met his gaze . 
" You are looking at me again , Rob . " 
"I was just thinking how lovely you are . 
You make me say all the things I never thought I could say aloud . " 
"Not even to Diana ? " 
There was a glint in her eye . 
" We wo n't mention Diana tonight , " he said abruptly . 
" I do n't want to make comparisons . " 
He sounded pompous , but he did not want to be made to feel guilty this evening , of all times . 
" No , of course not . " 
She was silent while the first course of steaming artichokes , soaked in a buttery sauce , was served . 
Then her smile dazzled him . 
" I hope you have a good appetite tonight , Rob . 
I have ordered a lot of things . " 
"I 'll eat them somehow , then we 'll walk it off afterwards . " 
There was blue trout next , then a young chicken that had been cooked in wine and herbs , finally a platter of cheese and fruit . 
Rob took a deep breath . 
" I think that was the best meal I 've ever eaten . 
I think of beans on toast in Birmingham and shudder . 
Or spaghetti . 
I wo n't like going to Italy ! " 
"Will you ever go back , Rob ? " she asked , skinning a peach with absorbed skill . 
" Not if I can help it . 
That phase of my life is over . " 
"And the future , Rob , what do you look for in the future ? " 
"Whatever comes , " he said lightly . 
" This is a see-saw business . 
I 'll stay at the top just as long as I can , then try to accept defeat as gracefully as I can . " 
"You 'll stay at the top for years , Rob . 
We both will . 
I know that , " she said vehemently . 
" Before we are finished , everyone in Paris , Rome and New York will have heard all about Rob Martin , the famous British singer . " 
She leaned across the table so that the perfume of her hair drifted up to him . 
" With the two of us in partnership , we can go a long way . 
You do believe that ? " 
The expression in her eyes was hidden from the lamplight . 
He looked at her for a long time . 
Then he said slowly , " Yes , I believe that . 
I believe that , with you , I could do just about anything anyone asked me . " 
She sat back smiling triumphantly . 
" We shall sing our way round the world , Rob . 
Perhaps we shall be invited to those cities we have only read about . 
People will talk of us as they did of Nelson Eddy and Jeannette Macdonald . 
That was a long time ago , I know , but no singing partnership achieved quite the fame they did . 
But we will , Rob , we will , " she ended fiercely , and she gripped his hand as though she would never let it go . 
Abruptly he said , " I 'll pay the bill and we 'll walk down to the sea . 
I want to see if it 's as clear as they say it is . " 
They took off their shoes , and the sand was soft and smooth beneath their feet . 
By the time they came to the sea the lights of the terrace looked a long way off . 
Rob bent and put his hand in the water . 
It was warm and still . 
Gaby said impishly , " Let's paddle . 
No one can see us from there . " 
Rob tucked up his trousers and she kicked her nylons towards the high , white sandals . 
They waded into the shallow water . 
" Look across there . " 
He pointed the way they had driven earlier . 
The whole coast was like a strip of twinkling stars . 
" We could be on an island , cut off from all those people there . 
In fact , I wish we were . 
I do n't want to go back . " 
"Neither do I , Rob . 
If you are going to stay , then I shall stay with you . " 
He turned towards her . 
Her face looked very pale in the darkness . 
A strange , burning feeling was creeping over his body . 
He felt as though he were poised on the brink of some new , wonderful experience . 
" Gaby ... " 
"Yes , Rob ? " 
"Oh , Gaby , Gaby ! " 
Her lips were cool and smooth under his , and her cheeks were like silk . 
He held her , wanting to retain this moment all his life , the two of them in the warm , shimmering darkness , rocking gently to and fro in the rustling water . 
When at last he released her , he was still feeling dizzy from the impact . 
Without speaking they gripped each other 's hands , and walked back to the dry sand and sat down . 
Gaby started to rub at her feet with a wisp of a handkerchief . 
She had amazingly small feet . 
But everything about her was petite . 
She said at last , " I 've been waiting a long time for you to do that , Rob . " 
"You have ? " 
He was amazed . 
Then his arm came round her bare shoulders . 
" I suppose I 've wanted it too , but I 've been afraid . " 
"Afraid ? " 
"Yes . 
Afraid that you would push me away , and then everything would have been over before it started . 
I could n't have stood that . 
I think I felt this way about you the moment I saw you at the Savoy party . 
People laugh about love at first sight , but sometimes it 's true — only you do n't see it at the time . " 
"Then you do love me ? " she said slowly . 
" Oh , yes . 
You 've hit me like ... like a boomerang . " 
"And what about ... ? " 
" ... 
Diana ? 
Yes , I know . " 
Was it only this morning that he had told Diana he loved her ? 
He had believed it then , and in an odd sort of way it was still true . 
He did love Diana , but it was nothing like this flame that blazed within him when he was with Gaby . 
The man who first said there were many faces of love was right . 
He went on slowly , " I do n't know what to say about her . 
I ca n't let her down just like that , yet one day it will have to come . 
I can see that now . " 
"Rob . " 
She rested her head against his shoulder . 
Her perfume had none of the gentle scent of Diana 's . 
It was some excitingly subtle blend that tore at his senses . 
" We have our careers to think of first of all . 
I think it would be best to go for a little while as we were , seeing more of each other perhaps , getting to know each other , but doing nothing definite . 
A romance can do no harm to our publicity at the moment , but marriage must wait . 
Do n't you agree ? " 
"I suppose so . 
But it 's you I want above everything . " 
He was startled that she put their publicity so firmly before their private life , but she was probably right ; there was still time to get to know more about each other . 
Aloud he said , " I never imagined anything like this would happen when we both were invited to Monte Carlo . " 
"And would you still have come if you had guessed , Rob ? " she asked quietly . 
He smiled into the darkness . 
" Yes , I would . 
Of course I would , that 's the glorious part of it . 
Oh , Gaby ! " 
He turned and kissed her again , running his hand through her hair . 
" I think I must be the luckiest man in the world . " 
They lay on the sand a little longer , talking , listening to the sound of the sea , and the breeze rustling through the pine trees behind them , and just dreaming . 
Then Gaby said , " Rob , if you want to stop for a few moments at Cannes , perhaps we had better go . 
Tomorrow night will be exhausting . 
I shall never be able to face it . " 
He jumped up . 
" I had forgotten all about tomorrow . 
How selfish of me . 
It does n't seem quite real somehow , after this . " 
He drove along the coast in high spirits , their voices joining in the liquid melody of their new song . 
At Cannes he parked near the harbour , and they found a pavement cafe2 and sat for a while , watching the boats and drinking black coffee . 
" Funny , " he mused . 
" This is what I always imagined myself doing in the South of France , sitting idly , drinking coffee , watching the people and the boats . 
And are n't some of the boats fabulous ? " 
They lit up the harbour , some miniature liners , launches , speed boats and small , colourful sailing dinghies . 
They seemed joined in a community of their own . 
He and Gaby watched in silence , holding hands . 
For the moment everything had been said . 
They were content merely to be together . 
Reluctantly then , they went back to the car and to the hotel . 
Outside Gaby 's room he said , " I wonder what time band call will be ? " 
"I 've heard in the morning , but I 'm not sure . " 
"Then we 'll have time for a swim in the afternoon . 
Is that a date ? " 
"It 's a date . 
Goodnight , Rob , and thank you . " 
She put up her face for his kiss . 
" Sweet dreams . " 
"They 'll be sweet all right . 
I shall be dreaming of you . " 
He drew back the curtains and let the sea breeze in before he got into bed . 
He lay awake for a long time , thinking about the evening and the whole day that lay ahead . 
It was all too short , but he intended to hold on to it tightly with both hands . 
He breakfasted alone , learning with disappointment that Gaby was having hers in her room . 
He had been particularly looking forward to this , breakfast in the cool of the morning on the broad terrace , looking straight out to sea . 
There would have been something particularly intimate about it . 
He toyed with the warm rolls and cherry jam , but drank two large cups of coffee . 
Their call came about eleven o'clock . 
He went up and knocked on Gaby 's door . 
" I missed you this morning , " he said , when they drew apart . 
" You 'll have to get used to my bad morning habits , " she teased him . 
" I never get up unless I have to . 
Even for someone like you . " 
"I 'll try to remember . 
Shall we go now ? " 
He reached for her hand . 
She looked this morning as though she had stepped straight out of the sunshine . 
She wore a full white skirt of some silky material and a yellow top . 
She looked slim and tiny and he badly wanted to protect her . 
They worked hard for the rest of the morning . 
The producer wanted nothing less than perfection . 
Again and again the same acts were called for a repeat . 
Rob watched , amazed , as many more professional stars than himself were made to run through their words or their music five or six times . 
It was a cosmopolitan gathering of stars . 
There were English , American , French , Italian , and a couple from Brazil . 
Rob began by feeling overawed before realizing that most of them had probably come up the same way as he had . 
The rehearsal finished at last and they all trooped in to lunch , arguing good-humouredly about how the evening 's performance should be staged . 
Rob did not have a chance to be alone with Gaby until after three o'clock when most of the others had gone to their rooms to rest . 
" Still game for a swim ? " he asked . 
" I 'll fetch my things and be with you in five minutes . " 
For half an hour they splashed about in the water , more clear and blue than Rob had believed possible . 
Then they lay in long deck-chairs , dozing under their striped umbrellas . 
Rob reached for Gaby 's hand after a few minutes , but she was asleep , looking as deeply at peace as a young child . 
He lay back in his chair . 
CHAPTER ONE Southern Ireland August , 1940 
DUSK WAS softening the coastline of County Kerry as Diana West turned reluctantly from her window to go downstairs . 
She hesitated on the landing , remembering that Gregory disliked cre3pe-soled brogues and tweeds , and knowing that he would make some barbed remark about her wearing her " Lady-Bountiful-uniform " in the gracious drawing-room of Rosebrae . 
Six months of being Mrs. Gregory West had taught Diana that the only thing to do was to grow a protective shell and to let her husband 's arrowed words glance off unnoticed . 
Not that they hurt any the less for being ignored ; sometimes the ache and the bewilderment and the disillusion was so fierce that the future became a burden to be endured and never never a happiness to be anticipated . 
Now , her young mouth set and a bleak expression in her dark brown eyes , she went down to where an elderly manservant was beckoning to her from the hall . 
" You 're late , " he reproved . 
" I was nearly coming to fetch you . 
Come in here a minute , Miss Diana , there 's a thing I have to show you before you go in there . " 
He nodded towards the drawing-room and then steered her into the unlit butler 's pantry next door . 
" But , Fergus — " 
" Wheesht ! 
Stay here — I 'll be right back . " 
With a faint smile Diana leaned on the table in front of her and prepared to wait as Fergus had ordered . 
He had been her father 's batman in the First World War and for twenty years after that he had bullied and served and adored the whole family , with the exception of his master 's sister Miss Charlotte Cavendish . 
" A poor fool woman , " was the kindest thing he had ever said of her , and angry tears stood in his eyes when his master 's will was read and he heard that his beloved and orphaned Diana was left in the care of Miss Charlotte . 
His dislike and distrust were returned in full measure by that lady and by Gregory West , but he was Diana 's man and she would as soon do without an arm as do without her oldest friend , Fergus Burke . 
A moment after Fergus left the pantry Diana became aware of a bar of light in the dimness , and moving along a bit she saw that the serving hatch was slightly open at one side giving a narrow view of the drawing-room . 
Without curiosity because it was such a familiar scene , Diana watched her aunt presiding behind the tea-tray . 
Firelight gleamed on silver and fine china , and lamplight flattered the smooth skin and fading fair hair of Miss Charlotte . 
" Diana 's late again , " she said , passing a plate of hot buttered scones to Gregory . 
" Really , we do n't see much of her at all these days . " 
He shrugged . 
" She 's probably taking soup or whatever it is to her ghastly villagers . 
Beats me how she can bear to enter their hovels ! " 
"Do try not to be any more ignorant than you already are ! " 
Miss Charlotte snapped . 
" You seem to have taken all your ideas about what you call " the landed gentry " from Victorian novels . 
Diana has lots of responsibilities here and you ought to help her out with some of them instead of sitting around here like an ornament . 
And you need n't glare at me like that ! 
We know each other too well for either of us to put on an act when we 're alone , and if I had n't had a soft spot for your father long ago I would have left you to go to the devil in your own way ! " 
Diana drew back from the hatch , her mind a riot of emotions as she realised that she was deliberately eavesdropping and that her aunt and Gregory were n't strangers as they had led everyone to believe . 
Fergus gripped her arm and she jumped . 
" This is no time for party manners ! " he hissed . 
" Many a choice bit I 've heard here and I thought it was time you heard it too . 
They 're in a girning mood today and that 's why I wanted you down earlier , so keep your ears skint ! " 
Without a scuffle Diana could n't get away from the determined Fergus , and almost against her will she looked once more into the drawing-room . 
" And another thing , " Miss Charlotte was saying , " we did n't finish what we were talking about when tea was brought in . 
Diana will soon be twenty-one and I have no intention of being done out of my share of our bargain just because you ca n't hold her . " 
Gregory laughed softly and smoothed his brown wavy hair . 
" I can get any woman , and keep her . 
Every woman needs to be shown who 's master and in the end they love it , and Diana 's no different . " 
"Oh yes she is . 
You ca n't class girls like Diana with the " women " you 've known . 
She was fresh home from finishing school — and heaven knows it might as well have been an enclosed convent for all she knew of life — you swept her off her feet , and she was all prepared to love you for ever . 
But what happens ? 
You seem to have frightened her to death , because she 's just a shadow of the girl she was six months ago . 
I 'm warning you , Gregory , when a Cavendish digs her toes in neither you nor any man living will move her . " 
"You 're just getting anxious about your twenty thousand quid , " Gregory muttered , but some of the assurance had gone from his voice . 
" Oh all right , just to please you I 'll start being the niminy-piminy lover she seems to expect , but honestly , Charlotte , she 's such an innocent and she always looks so — so untouched that any man would lose patience and want to bring her down to earth . " 
"Not any man , " Miss Charlotte said coldly , and anger glinted in her pale eyes . 
" Your father may have been a bit of a rogue but he was also a gentleman , and that you will never be . 
He would have kept his sights fixed on the Cavendish wealth and he would have had Diana eating out of his hand until she would have begged him to take over the management of her money when she was twenty-one . 
I begin to regret that I groomed you for this part for which you have turned out to be so manifestly unsuited , but if you do n't hand over to me that twenty thousand pounds within a month or two after Diana 's birthday be very sure that all the regrets will be yours . " 
A wave of nausea hit Diana and she bent over to rest her clammy forehead on her hands . 
Beside her , Fergus muttered black oaths and heaped imprecations on the two conspirators , his hand resting gently on her bowed head . 
Then the bell tinkled above their heads and he smoothed his jacket before going into the drawing-room . 
" I 'll say you 're not home yet , " he whispered . 
" You 'll need time to think . 
But lassie , I had to do it , I just had to do it . " 
Left alone , Diana straightened and looked dully at the hatch . 
No one ever remembered that it was there as it was never used . 
On the other side it looked like part of the white panelling , as did the one on the opposite wall of the pantry which led to the dining-room and which was used every day . 
Neither Miss Charlotte nor Gregory were welcome in Fergus 's domain , and it was unlikely that either of them had ever been inside his pantry . 
Knowing that she did n't want to talk to anyone , not even to Fergus , Diana ran quietly across the hall to the garden-room and taking the first coat she could find she left the house by the side door . 
Clouds obscured what little light there was in the sky , but Diana knew every path in this part of Kerry and almost blindly she made her way to the hill above Whitewater Bay . 
The bay was a quiet anchorage on a rocky part of coast , but privacy was jealously guarded by Captain James Wallace who owned the biggest estate in the area , and no villager from Morne ever went near the little beach . 
Diana did n't know — and at the moment she did n't care — if Captain Wallace had ever seen her on the hillside or not , but she never did any harm just by sitting on the sheltered side of the big grey rock below the skyline . 
The slope in front of her was steep but it was n't very far down to the beach where the waves swished gently on the shingle . 
How long she sat there she never knew , thoughts chasing endlessly through her mind . 
" Sold , " she whispered once . 
" Sold like a sheep at a Kerry Fair . 
But it was n't my fault — I 've never come up against people like my aunt and Gregory — oh , of course it was my own fault , dreaming of a knight in shining armour and thinking I 'd found him in Gregory — how funny that is — Gregory ! a new-style Sir Lancelot ! — it 's really terribly funny when you think about it — " 
And suddenly the laughter which shook her turned to tears and she rested her cheek against the cold grey rock and cried as she had n't done since the death of her father ten years before . 
It was the memory of her father which calmed her at last , and she sat motionless as she recalled his unfailing light-heartedness even when the pain of an old war wound racked him ; his deep love for her , and his sorrow that she had never known the mother who had died when she was an infant ; his affection for his wife 's beautiful home in Kerry and for the people of Morne whom he viewed with tolerant and amused English eyes . 
I 'm English really , Diana thought , and it 's in England I should be now and not skulking over here in a neutral country when my own people are at war with Germany . 
Or I could go over the border to Ulster and try to do something useful for a change instead of running an estate on more money than I 'll ever know what to do with . 
Money . 
Her expression hardened as she thought of the two who were haggling so shabbily in the Rosebrae drawing-room . 
Well , they were going to be disappointed this time . 
There would be no control of her inheritance by Gregory , and no twenty thousand pounds for Aunt Charlotte who no doubt felt she had earned it by introducing the son of an old love to her niece . 
Diana tensed suddenly as a low murmur of voices reached her and then she heard the crunch of heavy boots on the stones of the pathway just above her head . 
She kept very still as two men passed by , aware that Miss Diana of Rosebrae — few people had ever called her Mrs. West — would look rather silly if she were found on the Captain 's land with her eyes red and her face all streaked with tears . 
Gregory had n't gone down well with the locals but there was no need to proclaim her own misery in front of them even if they had proved to be better judges of a man than she had been . 
She looked cautiously round the edge of the rock beside her and saw that against the lightening sky the two men stood out fairly clearly and that they both carried rifles in the crooks of their arms as they patrolled the little headland . 
Diana frowned . 
The voices had had a clipped intonation unlike the soft speech of Kerry , but of course Captain Wallace was a law unto himself and there was no one to say him nay if he wished to employ non-local gamekeepers and to have them patrol his bounds after dark . 
But such doings were alien to a simple place like Morne , and without knowing why , Diana was glad that her coat was one she had bought and worn at school in Paris , a soft grey wool which blended with the rock against which she was leaning . 
He realised that she was also wiping her eyes . 
He hated having to hurt her , but he had known ever since he had announced his engagement to Hyacinth , that he would have to talk seriously to his ex-wife . 
He had suspected her of wanting to renew their relationship before she accepted Charles Rawlings , but afterwards he had believed that she had found happiness with the bluff sailor and he 'd been genuinely glad — until this holiday in Singapore . 
Then it had occurred to him that she had not got over their disastrous marriage . 
" I 'll — try and make Charles a good wife , " she said when she had controlled herself and turned to face him . 
" He is — devoted to me , and I know he will make an excellent husband . 
I have already told him about you , and — and he is prepared to forget it . 
He believes that it is possible for two people situated as we are to have a platonic friendship . " 
"And you know that 's true , Biddy . " 
She shook her head . 
" I do n't think that a man and woman who have lived together can ever be friends ; sex is bound to enter into their relationship .... 
Perhaps you are right . " 
She made a determined effort to speak naturally . 
" It would have been a bad mistake to try and pick up the threads again . 
You always were a devil , Nick , and I 'm sorry for the girl you marry , whether she is Hyacinth or — someone else . " 
"If it is not Hyacinth it will be no one , " he assured her . 
" But meanwhile , I must find her . 
If only I had a clue where to look for her . " 
"Has it occurred to you that when you told her about — us it was such a shock to her that she has run away . " 
"If that had been the case she would have left a letter or a message , surely ? " he protested . 
" She might have wanted to punish you ; to make you half frantic on her account , and if so , she has succeeded admirably . " 
"I am sure Hyacinth would not be so childish , " he retorted . 
" It 's just possible that she did leave a letter and it has n't been delivered yet , " said Bridget . 
" What about Tu Kota — perhaps he knows what has happened to her ? " 
"As soon as Charles comes back I 'll send for him . " 
The Vice-Admiral returned a few minutes later , his face very grave . 
" Miss Chalmers did leave the hotel last night , " he said . 
" She was seen going down the servants ' staircase . 
Those on duty took her to be a Eurasian sewing maid ; she went out very quickly and spoke to no one . 
One of the boys who was just going off at the time saw her walking to the corner of Empress Place , where she got into a ricksha . " 
"Did he notice the number of the ricksha ? " asked Nick eagerly . 
" He says not . " 
"Then — he probably recognised the coolie who drew it ? 
These boys know the ricksha coolies by sight . 
Once we can find the fellow we shall also find where Hyacinth went . 
There 's no time to be lost . " 
"The boy says that the coolie was a stranger to him ; he had never seen him before . 
I think he was speaking the truth ; there was no reason for him to lie . " 
"Damn ! " 
Nick pounded his clenched fist on the table . 
" If only he had kept his eyes open ! 
In which direction did the ricksha go ? " 
"He did n't wait to see ; there was a great crowd in the streets last night , owing to the Chinese festival , and it was easy enough to lose sight of a ricksha . 
I am afraid , Nick , old fellow , that we shall have to ask the police to help us , for there has been a very sinister development . " 
"You — mean ... ? " 
"That Malay boy , Tu Kota , is missing ; he , too , did n't sleep in the hotel last night ; he has not been seen since just before midnight , and he told no one where he was going . " 
2 
" There you are ! " exclaimed Bridget . 
" Hyacinth was not alone ; granted she 's run away , but she took Tu Kota with her ; and I can assure you that she 'll be quite safe with him . 
Do n't look at me like that , Charles , I 'd trust that boy anywhere . 
He is perfectly reliable . 
I would n't be at all surprised if Hyacinth has returned to Lipur . " 
"But she would n't do that . 
How could she , when your brother is there alone ! " 
"Perhaps that 's why , " said Bridget , then as both men looked blank , she cried . 
" Oh , how stupid you two are ! 
Did n't Edward propose to her ? 
She may have decided to accept him after all , and he 'll lose no time in marrying her ; he wo n't give her a chance to slip through his fingers again . " 
"We must get in touch with Lipur at once ! " cried Nick . 
3 
But it was not so easy to get in touch with Lipur ; there had been a heavy storm twenty-four hours previously , and telephonic communications with the district had been cut , and with Pekama . 
Nick managed to get on to the nearest estate and they promised to send a runner to Lipur with a message for Edward Grampian , and when they received his reply , telephone it at once to Singapore . 
Meanwhile , Charles Rawlings systematically called on all the people Hyacinth had known , and questioned the officers who had dined with them the previous night , but none of them had seen Hyacinth , nor could give any clue to account for her disappearance . 
It was a complete mystery . 
When the following day had dawned and she had still not returned and there was no news of her , both the men realised that they must approach the police . 
Nick had not slept all night and looked haggard ; he was so restless that he could n't bear to sit still . 
Even Bridget was no longer suggesting that the girl had been caught out in an escapade ; if she had been she 'd have been back long ago . 
" But there 's still a chance that she went to Lipur , " she insisted . 
" And you must n't worry too much , Nick . 
If Tu Kota is with her ; he 'll look after her . " 
"The boy who saw her get into the ricksha said she was alone . " 
"It may not have been Hyacinth ; he could n't swear to it . 
It may really have been one of the Eurasian sewing maids . " 
"He said she was wearing a light coat and a gauzy scarf round her head , and those are two of the articles missing from Hyacinth 's wardrobe . " 
"It may be just a coincidence , " said Bridget . 
" I should n't pin too much faith on that . 
Wait until we have heard from Lipur . " 
But Charles Rawlings agreed with Nick that they could not afford to wait , and he offered to go to the police . 
He knew them and could impress upon them the need for as little publicity as possible , though , of course , if publicity would help to find the girl , then they must employ it . 
The girls and Nick should have returned to the country today , but with Hyacinth missing , it was unthinkable that they should leave Singapore . 
Nick had done everything possible to discover her whereabouts , but from the moment she had stepped into the ricksha it was as if the earth had opened and swallowed her . 
He decided to go and make some tactful enquiries in the Chinese quarter ; not that he expected to find Hyacinth there , but someone might have seen her . 
Nick himself had many acquaintances in the Chinese quarter , friends from the war days , and he knew he could rely on them to do everything possible to help him . 
He was just about to leave the hotel on his quest when one of the clerks in the reception desk — a young educated Malay — came up to him . 
" Mr. Trelawney , sir ... about the young lady .... " 
"Yes , " replied Nick , suppressing his eagerness with an effort . 
" I have made a discovery , sir . 
It may be of no account , but I think that you will find it — interesting . 
If we could go up to your room , sir .... " 
Nick wondered if he was about to be touched by a blackmailer , but the young man sounded genuine enough . 
" Very well , " he said . 
" Come with me now . " 
Once in his room he closed and locked the door , then faced the Malay . 
" What is it ? " he asked . 
" If it 's information which will lead to the finding of Miss Chalmers I 'll make it well worth your while .... " 
"As I said , sir , it may be of no value , but briefly , I have some scraps of paper which the boy who cleans her room found in her waste paper basket . 
I thought they might be a clue . " 
He took an envelope out of his pocket , and emptied a number of twisted scraps of paper on to the desk in the window . 
Nick saw that they contained words printed in block letters , and that some of them had been part of an envelope . 
" When were these found ? " he asked . 
" Yesterday morning , sir . 
I was passing when I saw the boy emptying the waste paper basket , and I gave him a coin to let me have the contents and not say a word about it to anyone . " 
Nick was already sorting the scraps of paper . 
" Have you put them together ? " he asked . 
" No sir . " 
But Nick guessed that the Malay was lying ; he had put them together and then crumpled them up again . 
He thrust his hand into his pocket and handed a note to the man . 
" Keep your mouth shut , do you understand ? " 
Nick gave up all thought of going to the Chinese quarter ; he had glimpsed one significant word , and he was determined to piece the whole of the scraps together , no matter how long it took him . 
It was over two hours before he had finished , and then he had the entire message and the envelope . " 
If Missie Chalmers wishes to know about Mr. Trelawney 's business in Singapore , a ricksha will be waiting at the corner of Empress Place tonight at midnight , to take her to the lady known as Chinese Lily . 
Come veiled and say nothing of this . 
It concerns Missie 's happiness . " 
So that was it ! 
Someone was anxious to break his engagement to Hyacinth , and had sent her this damnable note which she ought to have brought straight to him . 
But she had not done so and had undoubtedly gone off in the ricksha which had been sent for her ; the boy who had seen her get in it had told the truth . 
But where had she been taken ? 
And why had n't she returned ? 
Who was at the back of all this ? 
Chinese Lily ? 
He could not think so . 
He had always regarded her as his very good friend , though one could never be quite sure when dealing with an Oriental . 
It might be that the announcement of his engagement had roused some dormant demon in her and she 'd had Hyacinth kidnapped . 
But she had congratulated him and told him she was very happy for him when he had spoken of his fiance2e the other night . 
Who else could be at the bottom of this attempt to get hold of Hyacinth ? 
Attempt , he thought angrily . 
It was no attempt ; it was an accomplished fact . 
If the person had just wanted to put her against him she would have been back by now ; the fact that she was missing assumed a very sinister aspect . 
Chinese Lily was quite capable of having a European girl kidnapped if she wanted to do so . 
She was utterly fearless , and had been too long associated with the underworld not to know exactly how to set about it . 
He knew that certain girls who had been in her employ during the war and had chatted too much to the Japanese had simply disappeared , and as one girl was as good as another to the occupying troops — and if any special man was interested in the girls in question , Chinese Lily always saw that there were others , even more attractive — no awkward questions were asked . 
This might account for much that puzzled her . 
" Mollie , there 's no sense in stalling when we both know our own minds . 
I 've had girls before but never the real thing until now . 
I 've been waiting for you darling . 
Thank God I found you in time ... " 
Again the premonition shook her . 
What did he mean ? 
" I 've been waiting for you too , " she said shyly . 
" It 's so simple really , is n't it ? " 
Either you were one of the lucky ones and met your fate , or you were n't — and did n't . 
The world was a different place because she and Nigel had met . 
She drew a steadying breath , realising how near they had come to missing each other . 
If he 'd gone to America they might never have met . 
Somewhere across the world he would have roamed about seeking her — while she would have stayed home , doing the job nearest to her , but empty and unhappy . 
The thought brought the misty feeling back to her eyes . 
They were lucky . 
" You feel as I do , so it could n't be better , " he whispered . 
" Let's get out of here when I can do more than talk . " 
Mollie followed him , bemused with happiness . 
She moved on a cloud , floating effortlessly out to the car . 
They got in without a word , and he drove on , careless of direction , intent only on getting her alone . 
" Now . " 
He slammed on the brake , drew into a lay-by . 
" Darling girl ... " 
They were in a leafy lane , hedges high about them , the evening closing in slowly . 
It had not rained after all . 
She turned to him , her face showing her love and understanding . 
" Nigel — I love you . " 
"I know . 
I feel it here . " 
He touched his broad chest , before drawing her into his arms . 
She trembled at his touch , realising his complete domination over her will . 
She had read of such things happening to others , but this was her first experience and she was unafraid . 
His cheek rested against hers , he held her close , and for the moment was content . 
" I love you . 
Thank God I found you in time . " 
She touched his face gently with her lips . 
" It 's wonderful . 
I did n't know it would be like this . " 
"I did — with the right girl . 
We must be married at once , Mollie . 
I ca n't stand anything else . 
You must agree . " 
Could any promise made before this moment really count ? 
She subdued the rising uneasiness , wanting to promise Nigel anything he demanded . 
As if he read her thoughts he said : "Your guardians have n't a hope of holding you to a promise made before we met . 
I 'll talk them round . 
They ca n't withhold permission once we 're determined . " 
She laughed softly against his ear . 
" It 's remotely possible that they wo n't be swept off their feet as I have been ... " 
"You 'll make a fight for it , wo n't you ? " 
The words were an intimate whisper , and seemed to carry them forward more than anything yet . 
" Yes . 
Oh , I will . 
I will . " 
"I want us to belong from the first possible moment . " 
"So do I. " She wondered at herself , but no other answer was possible . 
" I 'm spineless — I 'd no idea it took one this way . " 
Perhaps it was n't always so . 
Perhaps other men were not as fascinating as Nigel , with his Viking appeal . 
She studied him quietly , seeing the strength in his face , that backed his handsomeness . 
He began to kiss her mouth , deliberately trying to rouse her , experiencing the first thrill of her being as she responded . 
He was quick to follow this with a more intimate embrace . 
" I 'm the first , " he mused against her soft lips . 
" The very first . 
I can tell — and I 'm glad . 
I wanted to be first — with the one woman . 
You 've never been kissed before . " 
"Not this way . 
Just cousins and things . " 
"Things ? " 
He pretended a brief jealousy . 
" Games — relatives — and things ... " 
"Not one of them kissed you so — and so — and so ... " 
"No . " 
She breathed lightly , because it seemed impossible to draw a long breath . 
" Oh , please , Nigel ... " 
His increasing passion was almost more than she could bear just then , yet she wanted to respond , to be to him what he obviously wanted her to be . 
In the confines of the little car it was difficult to cast off a feeling of apprehension . 
She grew tense , wishing she had more experience . 
When was it time to call a halt ? 
Perhaps it was all new to him , also , so she must go carefully . 
Her last wish was to hurt him , or to harm this wonderful feeling they shared . 
" You — you are going too fast for me , Nigel . " 
"Do n't you like me to hold you ? " 
"Yes , but ... " 
"You 'll get used to it , adorable baby . 
I 'm glad you 're not ready with all the answers . 
I always hoped for a girl like you . 
Most of them drive a chap too far . " 
She realised that in spite of his words , he did place a brake on himself in some way and she felt considerably relieved . 
He leaned away , considering her , his eyes teasing . 
She felt shy again , gauche and young . 
" You 'll have to make an honest man of me soon , darling . 
Let's make plans . 
Definitely before I go to America ! 
We both want that . " 
"I may not be able to travel with you . " 
"I can scarcely bear to leave you behind even for a few weeks . " 
"You 're too impatient . 
Let's just be engaged for a few months . " 
It would be so pleasant knowing that he loved her and was waiting for her , and they would have time to make a proper start to their life together . 
" No . 
That 's not enough . 
You know it too , but I forgive you because you do n't realise what it means to me . 
We must be married , Mollie . " 
"Well — wo n't it be worse if we 're married — and then I ca n't get out to you for months ? 
There is all the business of the passport , and visa , you know what it 's like . " 
"I could fly back every weekend . " 
She laughed shakenly . 
" You 're in love . " 
"Yes , I am in love ; be gentle with me , sweet Mollie . " 
The appeal touched her heart . 
He drew her back into his embrace . 
She knew then that he was too big a man to conceal his feelings from her . 
His simplicity sprang from his strength of character , and was not weakness as she had first thought . 
" You will come to see the family at the weekend . 
I 'll make all necessary plans . 
They 'll know I mean to marry you . " 
"They may feel that I 'm unsuitable . " 
"It does n't matter . 
It 's what I want that counts now . 
I 'm not a boy . " 
"You must meet my guardians too , " she whispered . 
" If that 's what you want me to do , but it does n't make any difference . 
I 'll raise heaven and earth to get you . 
We 've time if I start moving tomorrow . 
We 'll treat the trip to America as a honeymoon . " 
"I should have thought that in this scientific age you 'd be flying to America ? " 
"No . 
My chief is doing so , but I 'm taking out some special gear that we 'll need over there . 
I must see to the loading and unloading , for some of the instruments are fantastically sensitive . 
Whether we reach the moon or not depends entirely on my efforts — alone and unaided ! " 
He laughed at her crestfallen expression . 
" I love to tease you darling . 
Actually I 'll manage so much better with you along . " 
"I hope it 's the right thing to do . 
Could it be a stumbling block in your career later on ? " 
"Our marriage ? 
No ... but you may rue the day you ever met me . " 
She put both hands to his face . 
" I 'll never do that , Nigel . 
I 'll always understand . 
Men have jobs that take them out of a woman 's sphere sometimes . 
I 'll not be jealous of your work . 
At least I hope I wo n't . " 
They sat for an hour , bemused by their happiness , feeling that all things were possible . 
The tremendous difficulties ahead began to dissolve beneath their sanguine hopes . 
Night was closing in when Nigel thrust both hands through his thick hair and sat erect . 
He pressed the self-starter grimly . 
" We 'll call it a day . 
I must see Terence tonight and tell him our news . 
I must also be in London before breakfast . 
Do n't forget your promise to spend next weekend with me at home . " 
She sat back , knowing that he was leading and she must follow . 
She felt depressed when she remembered the promise made to her guardians . 
Would they understand that this feeling for Nigel was something she had not foreseen ? 
" Are you regretting anything ? " 
Nigel said , as he drew up in front of the stone steps leading to the main hall of the college . 
" Wait — we did n't say goodbye . " 
It was a stormy , protracted farewell , which bewildered her . 
Nothing could possibly be as important as this . 
He opened the car door for her , following quickly on to the steps . 
" I 'll see you in , darling . " 
"It really is n't necessary ... " 
Yet it was comforting to know herself protected . 
She went up the steps ahead of him . 
The door opened before they reached it . 
Terence stood looking down at them . 
His expression was cold , utterly unreadable . 
He was not in the least like Nigel then . 
He was wearing a navy double-breasted suit and looked formal and stiff to her . 
Some of the stiffness was in his bearing , and she realised in surprise that he was angry — very angry . 
For an instant she hesitated . 
She felt that Nigel was momentarily startled too . 
They 'd both forgotten about Terence . 
" So there you are . " 
Terence spoke first , through set lips . 
" I might have known you 'd be together . 
You could have given me a hint , Nigel . " 
"None of your business — was it ? " 
Nigel said . 
Mollie glanced from one to the other in keen dismay . 
It was to Terence that she made her appeal . 
Why was he so angry ? 
" Please , Terence ... " 
His cold smile did not reach his eyes . 
" All right . " 
She looked back at Nigel , seeing his mocking smile as if he appreciated Terence 's temper . 
There was a tiny silence , which she did not try to break . 
" Now you 're here you can give me a lift back , Nigel . " 
Terence was trying to recover lost ground , but finding it difficult . 
Mollie was so unprepared for this open antagonism between the two men that she did not know how to cope . 
Dismay held her silent and uncomfortable . 
Had they quarrelled earlier in the day ? 
She thought Terence looked white and wondered why he was there , as if awaiting them . 
" Do n't be in such a hurry to push me off , " Nigel drawled as if amused . 
" It may interest you to know that Mollie and I are engaged — we 'll make it official as from next weekend . 
We are to be married as soon after that as I can manage it — any objections , old man ? " 
The silence was quite terrifying to Mollie as she looked up at Terence . 
What was wrong ? 
She had not known either of them long enough to guess at the source of the trouble , and she had certainly not been guilty of flirting with either of them . 
Terence made an effort to answer the challenge . 
He was a more slender man than Nigel , but still stood about six feet tall . 
He felt mechanically in his pocket for a cigarette , and they waited as he lighted it . 
" Congratulations , " he said , puffing out a cloud of smoke . 
Nigel grinned and waved a hand in an airy salute , evidently knowing that he could not at that moment expect more from his brother . 
" Thank you . " 
Had Terence expected this would happen , and had tried to save his brother from committing himself ? 
Nigel had hinted that she was not the first girl in his life , and she realised with a fresh pang that he had seemed thoroughly experienced in the way he 'd tried to rouse her . 
" Are n't you going to kiss your future sister-in-law ? " 
Nigel said . 
" I 'll claim that privilege on the wedding day . " 
Terence turned away . 
Nigel stared hard at him , not too pleased , but for once bereft of words . 
Lois did so , deftly removed her scarf and gloves and followed her friend into the house . 
Bertie and Robert were in the living-room which , despite the bright fire , had a cold , unused appearance , natural enough considering that Bertie preferred the kitchen and Joan was always too busy to sit down anywhere . 
Lois 's arrival seemed to warm and enliven the atmosphere , and , as Joan had predicted , there were no gaps in the conversation . 
She was not in the least self-conscious and so obviously bubbling over with youthful high spirits that the two men could be almost seen to thaw in her presence . 
Before she came , there had been a slight stiffness , due chiefly to the fact that they were practically strangers with little in common . 
Joan brought in tea , tiny , diamond-shaped sandwiches and cake . 
Waiting on the others , she was a little hurt by their attitude . 
Bertie , as usual , expected to have everything done for him and Robert 's attention was given to Lois . 
Every now and then he would turn to Joan , including her in the conversation , but she could not help feeling that he regarded her as a mere child , the little girl who had been the Rose Queen — even though he had forgotten her ! 
Whereas , he treated Lois in a subtly different manner . 
More like a woman , thought Joan , though she was three years younger than herself . 
It must always be like that , she supposed . 
The pretty ones got everything ! 
And Lois was essentially feminine , although it would have been unfair to dismiss her as a mere flirt . 
She was interested in men , her looks and manner aroused their interest . 
" And I , " thought Joan , " am interested only in Robert . 
As for my looks , they do n't amount to a row of pins in contrast with what Lois has to offer . " 
After tea , they sat round the fire . 
When Bertie had visualised Joan taking Robert on a tour of the property , he had forgotten how short the afternoons were . 
Darkness was already gathering , and when it became necessary for Joan to excuse herself in order to feed the hens , there was still no chance for him to be alone with Lois . 
Robert was left to play third whether he liked it or not . 
Apparently he did . 
He and Lois were getting on splendidly together . 
" I thought you were a hermit , Mr. Hepworth . 
Joan says you 've been away , but I pictured you shut up at Silverstone , the windows shuttered , the tradesmen leaving just enough food outside the back door . " 
Robert looked at her with amusement . 
" Are you disappointed ? " 
"Quite the reverse , but I do wish you were married . " 
Robert laughed outright . 
" You 're a bit young to be a match-maker . 
It 's a favourite hobby of those who ca n't — well , match themselves ! " 
"Oh , I do n't bother about most people , but if you had a wife , it would be such fun . 
She would be living in the largest house for miles , and she 'd give lovely parties and everything would be gay . 
Larchwood is a bit flat , you know . 
My stepmother plays bridge and that 's awful . 
You should see their faces , as solemn as if they were at a funeral and if you dare interrupt they chop your head off . 
There are the church bazaars , too , and outings and amateur theatricals and the Women 's Institute , but nothing can be compared to the parties your wife would give . " 
Bertie was frowning at her , afraid that Robert would imagine she was giving him too broad a hint . 
It was a bit much the way she was carrying on , he reflected . 
Of course , she was so sweet and innocent she did n't realise she might be giving a false impression . 
" Lois works at Mrs. Harris 's Dress Shop in Waverley , " he told Robert . 
" I expect she 's thinking how good it would be for trade if there was a touch more social life here . 
She 's gifted at her job . " 
He glanced at her with pride , glad to show her in a different light from the one produced by her own scatter-brained chatter . 
Lois threw up her pretty little soft hands in a gesture of protest . 
" You ought to hear Mrs. Harris 's opinion of me ! 
The things I forget ! 
The things I do n't do ! 
She 'd have fired me long ago if it was n't for my figure . 
I can model clothes , you see . 
She has to admit they look better on me than on any of the other girls , and that makes the customers more inclined to give an order . " 
Feeling a trifle out of his depth , Robert said : " Do you like your job , Miss Wade ? " 
"I would if the clothes were real . " 
Robert floundered deeper than ever , and , seeing his expression of bewilderment , she added : " Mrs. Harris has to please her customers and they 're mostly farmers ' wives or just the locals . 
Not that she could fly higher . 
She has n't got it in her . 
But , if I never marry , I shall try to get a job in London , modelling . 
I get fed up with ordinary clothes , garments . 
I 'd like a real creation . " 
Her eyes were large and dreamy as if gazing upon some celestial vision . 
How odd women were , thought Robert , amazed at her reverence for what he considered so trivial . 
Bertie , however , pounced on one sentence of hers . 
" How d' you mean if you never marry ? 
Of course you 'll marry . 
There is n't any never about it . " 
At this moment , Joan re-entered the room . 
Tom had managed to escape having to accompany his wife to evening service , and , in what Joan considered a most touching way , had insisted on finishing all the final chores . 
" You run along and enjoy yourself with your friends , Miss Sutton . 
It 's not often you get the chance of wearing a nice red dress instead of your old blue trousers . 
Apron over it 's all right with chicken , but , with the old sow there 's bound to be trouble . 
Rub herself against you as likely as not , and then where will you be ? " 
"Rolling in the mud , I expect , Tom , " she responded , laughingly . 
" That 's egg-zactly what I meant . 
You go indoors and keep yourself nice and clean for once . " 
Obeying him thankfully , Joan slung her apron on to a peg , shed her rubber boots in favour of high-heeled black shoes and combed her hair in front of the small mirror in the kitchen . 
A nice red dress , Tom had said . 
Probably that was how it looked in his eyes , and she had herself chosen to wear it in preference to her blue woollen or the tweeds , believing , hoping — even though rather shamefacedly — that Robert would notice her and think she was pretty . 
The blue suited her better , bringing out the colour of her eyes , but she knew she must do something to distinguish herself if possible . 
Lois was so fascinating that whether she wished it or not she was always a powerful rival . 
The deep red colour of this dress would surely procure its wearer a little attention . 
During tea , however , Joan realised that she might just as well have worn her ancient corduroy trousers , or swathed herself in a red blanket ! 
There was n't a man in the world who would have given her a second glance while Lois was in the room . 
She heaved a sigh , then laughed at herself for being so silly and self-pitying . 
It was her own fault for inviting Robert on a day when Lois would be there , and , instead of standing about , feeling sorry for herself , she ought to be doing something to help poor Bertie . 
He must be itching to get rid of the other man . 
Entering the living-room , Joan put forward the first excuse she could think of to ensure that her brother might have his coveted few minutes alone with the girl he loved . 
" Mr. Hepworth — I mean Robert — I wonder if you 'd mind coming upstairs to look at a damp patch we 've got . 
I thought — while you 're here ... " 
He rose at once , but she saw the surprise he could not altogether hide . 
Although technically the owner , his father 's old bailiff performed all that was necessary from a landlord . 
He followed Joan up to the next floor , without comment . 
Meanwhile , she was racking her brains for a means of delaying him , and , at the same time , was wondering where to take him . 
There were three bedrooms , Bertie 's , the one where she slept and which had formerly belonged to Uncle Greg , and a tiny spare room , kept sacred for the infrequent visitor . 
Avoiding all these , she led him up the remaining few stairs to the loft , flicking on lights as she went . 
" I 'm sorry to take you away from the fire . " 
"I 'm not a hot-house plant , I sha n't wither . 
Where 's the damp you mentioned ? " 
Joan glanced wildly about her . 
There was an old couch whose upholstery needed repairing , two tin trunks , a large lithograph of Canterbury Cathedral in a hideous frame and some cardboard boxes . 
The walls were white-washed and the ceiling innocent of any stain . 
Blushing scarlet , she stammered : " There is n't any d-damp . " 
"Then why the blazes did you say there was ? " 
"I — I just wanted — people sometimes like to be alone together — please try to understand . " 
Raising her eyes to his , she saw that he was looking at her with an expression of contempt . 
" I believe I do understand , " he said . 
" Well , if you really want it , you can have it . " 
Before she realised what he meant , he caught her by the shoulders , drawing her towards him . 
She had an instant 's glimpse of grey eyes , hard as steel , then his lips were on hers . 
For one fleeting second , her senses reeled and a sweet thrill ran through every nerve . 
Then she had wrenched herself free , her cheeks burning , her eyes bright with unshed angry tears . 
" How dare you ! " she gasped . 
" Very easily . 
You 've never taken your eyes off me the whole afternoon , yesterday you managed to fling yourself into my arms — I thought it was an accident at the time , I admit , but in face of this , I 'm not so sure . " 
"You conceited idiot ! " exclaimed Joan , furiously . 
" No , I do n't flatter myself it 's my superior charms which turned your head . 
I can imagine how bored you must get here , but you should n't play with fire , you might get the wrong man . " 
"I have , " she retorted . 
" I do n't know anyone who could have behaved so abominably . 
It was an accident yesterday , I fell over my shopping bag . " 
"At the very moment when I happened to be there to catch you . 
I suppose you 'll tell me next that staring at me all afternoon was merely the natural anxiety of a hostess waiting to pour out the second cup of tea . " 
Robert was speaking as unkindly as he could , driven to it by a frightful suspicion that he had made an unforgivable mistake . 
" If you 're so innocent , " he went on , " show me the damp patch on the wall — or would you prefer me to search the ceiling ? " 
Joan positively stamped her foot with rage . 
" There is n't a damp patch . 
It was an excuse to get you out of the room . " 
"Ah , now we 're getting at the truth , " he interposed , sarcastically . 
" Will you listen to me and stop interrupting ! 
The reason why I wanted to take you away from the others is that my brother 's in love with Lois . 
He never gets a chance of being alone with her and I thought — oh , never mind , you 'd never understand . 
Think what you like of me . 
Why should I care ? 
You 're only a stranger . 
Besides , I 've done what I wanted to . 
They are alone together . " 
She spoke with an air of triumph which had very little to do with her true feelings . 
For one dreadful moment she had longed to slap his face , just as hard as she possibly could . 
Now , all she wanted was to drop on to the beastly old broken couch in the corner and sob her heart out . 
Robert spoke apologetically . 
" I 'm sorry . 
I 've made an appalling mistake , I see that now . " 
"Sorry ! " she repeated , derisively . 
We were on a stretch of straight road , climbing up towards the Heights , and he risked taking his eyes from the road for a second to look fully at me . 
I could n't read anything from his face . 
Apart from a certain gravity there was nothing in it but the impersonal scrutiny that belonged to his vocation . 
He let another car overtake him before he spoke . 
" Still speaking from a professional point of view , " he said , " I would strongly advise you to pay a visit to your doctor in the very near future . " 
I did n't answer him until we had reached the row of cottages that nestled in a hollow underneath the final ascent to the Heights . 
He drew the car to a stop on the green in front of the last one in the row and was in the act of getting out when I said quietly , " You 're a doctor . " 
He reached over into the back and lifted out his bag . 
" But not yours , Mrs. Landry . 
I attend only to the lower members of your household . " 
He said it quite without rancour , and I was positive none was intended . 
" But you could be mine , " I insisted . 
He inclined his head . 
" I could , yes . 
But I would advise you to see your own man , one who knows and understands you . " 
He shut the door and leaned down through the window to ask , " Are you coming in , Mrs. Landry ? " 
"No . " 
I shook my head . 
" No — I 'd rather not . " 
"As you wish . 
I may be a little while in here . 
You 've time to climb up to the Heights if you feel like it . 
The view is well worth the scramble if you have n't seen it before . " 
I waited until he had disappeared into the cottage before I got out and started up the path that wound its way up behind the row of houses . 
I had been there before and I was n't particularly interested in the view . 
It was the old restlessness that drove me on once I found myself alone , away from the calming influence of his presence . 
I was panting by the time I got to the top and sank on to a small outcrop of rock . 
I got my cigarette case out with a certain amount of defiance and watched the blue smoke drift lazily away on the still air . 
The view was a magnificent one even in the distant haze of the November morning . 
The sun caught and sparkled on the river as it wound its leisurely way far below . 
Bare of leaves , the wooded hillside had a stark beauty , and the fields still held practically the fresh greenness of midsummer . 
I was sitting there , lost to time , when I heard the foot-steps behind me and turned to see Dr. Broderick clambering over the uneven ground . 
I jumped up in quick remorse . 
" Oh , I 'm sorry — I 've kept you waiting , " I said hurriedly , but he waved me back on to my rock . 
" There 's no hurry , " he said . 
" I guessed you 'd be up here . 
I often come up myself when I 'm out this way . " 
He sank on to the rock next to me . 
I noticed that he was not in the least exerted by the rather stiff climb . 
His breath came evenly . 
And , strangely , I felt a return of that calmness . 
I sat there quietly with him , waiting . 
I had the feeling that he was waiting , too — serenely patient . 
But it was a long time before I spoke . 
He had n't invited my confidence — rather he seemed to have gone out of his way , a little earlier , to reject it . 
He might not like me but I felt that he would listen , and that he would have an understanding I could never expect from Charles . 
And so I said at last , " I think I 'm losing my reason , Dr. Broderick . " 
He gave me no more than a casual glance . 
" And what makes you think that ? " he asked calmly . 
" As a rule , a person who is becoming mentally unhinged is the very last to suspect anything is wrong . " 
"But I ca n't remember who I am , " I said , wretchedly . 
" I know that I must be Lisa Landry , and that Charles is my husband and Joanna my daughter — but I do n't know them . 
I do n't know anyone with whom I come in contact — the servants , our neighbours — I did n't know you the other day — " 
"Just a minute , Mrs. Landry , " he broke in gently . 
" Loss of memory is a very common occurrence . 
There are many factors that can contribute to its cause . 
You must n't worry that you 're losing your reason because you 're suffering from a temporary amnesia — " 
"But it 's more than that . 
Do n't you see ? 
I have a memory — but it is n't the right one . " 
"What do you mean by that ? " 
I asked him then the question I had wanted to ask the vicar , that man of God . 
The question I had been too afraid to ask myself in the darkness of the unsleeping night . 
I asked it unflinchingly , out of the stillness which had descended suddenly upon us . 
" Do you believe , Dr. Broderick , that the soul of a girl who has been dead nearly sixteen years could inhabit and take possession of a complete stranger ? " 7 
THERE was a bird singing in a tree near at hand . 
I could n't see it but the high , sweet notes of its song held a plaintive , appealing sadness . 
The faint whirring of some distant machinery reached us clearly , a dull monotonous sound . 
When Dr. Broderick moved his foot suddenly I jumped nervously . 
He had sat quietly , not looking at me , his face quite inscrutable so that I had no means of knowing what he was thinking . 
When he spoke at last he sounded oddly helpless in his hesitation . 
" My dear girl — I do n't profess to know anything about the spiritual body — only the physical one . 
A clergyman would be better equipped than I am to answer such a question . 
But tell me why you ask it ? " 
I took a deep breath and faced him fully . 
" Because that 's what I think has happened to me . 
If it has n't — then I know I am mad . " 
I gave a little mirthless laugh . 
" Take your choice , Dr. Broderick , which would you rather be if you were me — possessed or insane ? " 
"What makes you think you are either ? " 
"There 's nothing else I can think — when the only life I know is that of a girl who has been dead more than fifteen years . " 
I took the cigarette he offered , drawing at it raggedly . 
I gave him a quick , nervous glance but he was n't looking at me . 
He was gazing out across the wooded stretch beneath us . 
I knew that he was waiting for me to go on but would n't hurry me , that his calmness did n't mean that he was disinterested . 
I started to tell him about Dorcas Mallory . 
I began with abrupt , sometimes not quite coherent sentences , but presently beneath the soothing influence of his quiet attention I went on more fluently . 
I told him about her adoption when she was a child — no more than three years old — so that there was no memory of a previous life before that with the Mallorys . 
There was only a vague recollection , too , of the new mother who had died not much more than a year later . 
But the memory of the life with Adrian Mallory was clear . 
I told him of her childhood in the house , High Towers — a lonely childhood , perhaps , but a happy one , with dear old Henrietta and the kindly Mrs. Bakewell . 
I told him of small , uninteresting incidents that only Dorcas Mallory could have known ; those trivial , everyday occurrences that mean nothing to anyone other than the person they happened to . 
I evoked memories of old Henrietta who probably had n't been as old as she seemed at that time to the young Dorcas — of her warm motherliness and her fragrance of lavender ; of Adrian Mallory , his shyness and his gentle kindness , and as I talked about him I think I realized for the first time that I would never see him again — that perhaps I had never known him , for how could I have done so ? 
I know that I talked of him with a sadness that went deep inside me . 
I recalled Dorcas Mallory 's schooldays — rather lonely schooldays with not many close friends because the reserve that was in Adrian Mallory was in Dorcas , too . 
But she had not particularly felt the loneliness and the holidays had been happy ones — spent mostly at home , at first because of her father 's reluctance to travel and then because the war made travelling impracticable . 
When I told him about Russ I found it difficult to speak impersonally . 
There was so much that I could n't put into words , not even to someone as understanding as Dr. Broderick . 
How could I possibly describe to anyone the love between Russell Winslow and Dorcas Mallory ? 
My voice broke when I finally told him of the wedding that never took place , of the journey to London of Dorcas and Adrian Mallory , of the happiness of that girl on the eve of her marriage . 
I sat silent at last , my head bent , watching the slight breeze lazily stirring a curled brown leaf at my feet . 
It rustled faintly as it moved , and then a sharper breath of wind caught it and hurried it away . 
Dr. Broderick said gently , " What then ? " 
I looked up , somehow startled that he had been unable to follow the wistful trend of my mind . 
" What then ? " 
I repeated , and then , keeping my voice as steady and expressionless as I could , " Dorcas and her father were killed in an air raid . 
There was no wedding . 
They both died that night . " 
"This girl you have been telling me about — she is the one ... ? " 
He paused uncertainly . 
I think his logical mind found it difficult to put my fantastic supposition into words . 
I waited to see if he would continue . 
When he did n't , I said , " I woke up on the day of Joanna 's wedding thinking that it was my wedding day . 
I did n't know where I was , or why , but the events I have been telling you about — that evening in London — were so clear to me that I thought it was still April , 1944 . 
I took up Dorcas Mallory 's life exactly at the point where she died . " 
He stirred slightly as though he would have interrupted but I went on , " I ca n't tell you a single thing about Lisa Landry 's life prior to that morning in August , but I can tell you all about Dorcas Mallory . 
I can tell you of these things that no one — not even Charles — could have told me . 
I am Lisa Landry — but my mind is Dorcas Mallory . " 
He said , " Charles — your husband ? " 
"Yes . " 
"Why do you say — that even Charles could not have told you ? 
How could he know anything at all — " 
" Charles and Adrian Mallory were stepbrothers , " I said . 
" I — Dorcas never saw him until a few weeks before — before she died . 
He spent most of his time in Canada . " 
"Did you know this girl ? " 
"No . " 
"But you probably heard your husband talk about her ? " 
"He never really knew her . " 
I said it defensively , but against what I was n't quite sure . 
" I told you — Dorcas never met him until a few weeks before she was killed . 
And then she barely knew him — they only met a very few times . 
Charles could n't possibly know all the things I have told you about her . " 
"He could know a good deal of it , " he said gently . 
" And some of the things ... 
Are you quite sure that you know these things , or could you have imagined them ? " 
"No ! " 
I said it with a sense of outrage . 
" No one could possibly imagine everything I know about Dorcas Mallory — every detail of her life — every incident , day by day . 
And Russ ... " 
"The man Dorcas was to marry ? " 
"Yes — I knew him immediately I saw him . 
How could I have recognized a man I have never met ? " 
Yes , he would see Mackinnon and see if he could get anything out of him . 
For Jane 's sake he would have to know . 
So that this could be stopped before it was too late — if it was not too late already . 
To his surprise he found himself hoping that there was nothing dreadful to discover . 
For Jane 's sake , of course . 
She would be hurt . 
And he did not want her hurt . 
And young Grant — damn it , he had almost liked him the other night . 
And he could not help admiring him , for his guts in tackling the job he was tackling . 
But Alison , who , after all had brought up four daughters , seemed to think it would all fade out . 
And Elizabeth had some plans ... 
" You 'll be starting counting days to your holiday soon , Jane , " he said cheerfully . 
Jane smiled but did not answer . 
If she counted days it would be for a reason contrary to what the General thought . 
She gave him half her attention as he went on talking about what Elizabeth had said in her last letter , conjecturing about when they would see Susan again . 
She was thinking of how she would tell Neil what her father had said about his parents , seeing the look of relief which would come into his dark eyes when he knew his aunt 's disparaging remarks had had no foundation in fact . 
How glad she was that Neil could now look back to his young parents with affection , untouched by fear . 
How glad she was that they had decided to recreate that flower garden which Angus seemed to think had been created by Neil 's mother . 
" Father , I 'm going to ask you for a heap of cuttings in the autumn . 
There 's a wide strip of land at Dalnadoire which Angus says was once a garden . 
So we — " she coloured and changed it , " so Neil is going to start it again . 
I 've said we 'd give him lots of plants . " 
"Plants ! 
Plenty of those , Jane . " 
Here the General was in his element . 
" Come out when you 've finished , and we 'll mark what you want . 
Best to do that when they 're flowering . " 
He got up stiffly out of his chair . 
" There 's that new delphinium I put in last autumn . 
Coming out now . 
Grand colour . 
You 'd like it in the background , Jane . 
And it 's growing so well that it will split . 
Come out and look at it ? " 
"Yes . 
I 'll just get rid of these . " 
She got up from the table , stacking dishes , and smiled to herself as she ran between the dining-room and the kitchen . 
Once they got to know Neil they would be sure to like him . 
She would just need to have patience . 
The next three weeks went by with what seemed to be an astonishing rapidity . 
Jane had had little enthusiasm for her holiday at the beginning , but now she had even less . 
To have to exchange , even for a fortnight , the warm happiness of being with Neil , of sharing with him their growing love , of watching how everything was progressing at the farm she was coming to love as much as he did , for Elizabeth and her lectures , for spells of baby-sitting , and keeping at arm 's length the rather callow young men whom Elizabeth seemed to know , was far from pleasing . 
But she could see no way to get out of it . 
Her mother was constantly talking of it , enlarging on the supposed pleasures in store , expecting from her an enthusiasm which Jane could not produce . 
That Lady Rose was thinking more of getting Jane away from Drumlairig than of her having an enjoyable holiday , Jane was well aware . 
General Rose might be starting to think more kindly of Neil , be beginning to take an interest in him and his doings , to see in him something to admire , but her mother was not . 
To her Neil Grant was still someone of so little account that he could be completely ignored . 
It almost seemed that she was completely unaware of her daughter 's friendship with him . 
But , despite that , for Jane those weeks were happy ones . 
Neil was still working hard , indeed seemed to be working even harder . 
There was so much to be done and everything had to be done in a manner conforming to the high standard he had set himself . 
Dalnadoire was beginning to look like a well-kept , prosperous farm , the old house was being gradually cleaned and painted . 
Jane watched progress with eager , loving eyes , was there to give praise and encouragement . 
The weather was fine , the days were hot , but one morning Jane , rising early as usual , looked out of her window to see that the trees and the chimneys were almost blotted out by mist . 
There was not a mountain to be seen and there was a stillness over everything . 
Was this the first sign that autumn was coming ? 
Surely it was still too early in the year for that , but everything was early this year . 
But whatever it was it was a disagreeable morning , and she would need to get away quickly for it would take her much longer to walk that mile to the station with visibility a mere ten yards . 
Shrouded in a mackintosh , shivering a little in the damp still air , she hurried down the drive . 
It felt as if she were alone in the world . 
Apart from the never ceasing swishing and pounding of the river , there was not a movement , not a sound . 
And then a dog barked , another joined in excitedly , and two small forms ran eagerly towards her . 
" Why Rory ! 
Gill ! 
What are you doing here ? " she exclaimed and looked beyond them , as a man 's figure loomed out of the mist . 
" Morning , Jane , " Neil was greeting her cheerfully . 
" Want a lift ? " 
He put an arm about her shoulders , smiling at her surprised face . 
" Not the sort of morning for a walk . 
Here 's the car . " 
"Why , Neil ! 
I never expected to see you . 
Are you going to the station ? " 
"Yes . " 
He had the door of the car opened . 
" In you get . " 
She got in , the puppies scrambled in after her and she let them jump eagerly on to her lap as Neil went round to the driver 's seat . 
" Have you something to collect , Neil ? " 
He shook his head as he started the engine and they moved off . 
" I want to see you get safely there , " he said quietly . 
" You mean — you 've come especially to take me ? " 
He smiled . 
" You do n't think I was going to have you walking that lonely road on a morning like this ? " 
"Oh , Neil ! " she murmured and felt wonderful . 
And when in a few minutes they reached the station , she leaned over , put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him on the mouth , not caring at all that a smiling Willie MacIntyre was an interested spectator . 
There were many other small incidents to show Jane what she was to Neil , to make her feel warm and rich and essential . 
On the Tuesdays when she met him in Inverness for lunch , they usually managed to have a little time left after their meal was over . 
At first they had walked along the river to the islands , or climbed the hill to the castle , looking at the statue of Flora MacDonald , at the view westward at which she gazed . 
But latterly they had spent their time among the shops . 
Window shopping , Jane said . 
Nor did they restrict their window gazing to the books which delighted them both . 
It was the week before Jane was due to go on holiday that they saw the chest of drawers . 
It was small , in a beautifully veined walnut , and its bow front gave it an elegance which pleased them both . 
They agreed that it was the sort of thing they liked , they looked at it from all angles , discovered its price and then Neil said quietly , " Shall we buy it , Jane ? " 
"Buy it ? " 
She looked at him quickly , her colour heightened . 
He was not looking at her and there was some colour too in his tanned face . 
" I mean , when we see it — Dalnadoire needs a lot of furniture and — later we might not see one we like as well as this one . " 
Jane smiled . 
" Could we , Neil ? " she asked . 
" Yes . " 
"Let's buy it then , " she said in a matter-of-fact tone . 
" I can just see it against that short wall beyond the window , in what will be the lounge . " 
He turned to her , smiling now . 
" Have you time , Jane ? " 
"Oh yes , " Jane said happily . 
So on the Sunday Jane found a new task . 
With a soft duster she had to carefully polish the lovely walnut chest . 
Neil watched her young , earnest face lovingly , but with the shadow in his dark eyes which was often there when his face was in repose and when he was watching Jane . 
Later he took her off for a walk on to the moors . 
The day was hot and in the early morning there had been a suspicion of thunder , but the clouds had passed , although there was still a heaviness in the air . 
When they reached the second stile , Jane perched on the top of it , and they looked back down the slope . 
" A storm , if it is n't too wild , would n't do any harm , " Neil commented . 
" The river is running much slower than usual . " 
"Yes . 
Did you bathe in that pool above the falls when you were a boy , Neil ? " she asked . 
He grinned as he turned to look at her , leaning against her knees . 
" I did . 
Every morning before anyone else was astir I 'd run out and have ten glorious , splashing minutes , before I dashed back again , pretending I 'd never left the house . " 
"Did Mrs. Cummings object to you bathing ? " 
"I do n't know about the bathing , but she did n't want her house messed up . 
Though one morning she did catch me , and I was the usual lazy ingrate and so on and so on . 
I decided then , Jane , " there was a twinkle in his eyes as he went on , " that my family — for some unknown reason I seemed to think I was going to have several children and that we 'd be living at Dalnadoire — would be allowed to play in that pool whenever they liked . " 
There was an answering twinkle in her blue eyes . 
" Are you still of the same opinion , Neil ? " 
His smile widened . 
" I am . 
But their mother would have to approve . 
She might n't think it a good idea . " 
"I 'm sure , " Jane said carefully , " that any girl you 'd made the mother of your children , would be quite sensible about that sort of thing . 
She 'd want them to have fun . " 
Neil laid his cheek against the back of her hand , which she had resting lightly on his shoulder , for a moment . 
" I think Dalnadoire is a house which needs a family of children , " he said quietly . 
" It does , " Jane agreed . 
" It should be filled with fun and laughter . 
Neil , " she went on seriously , " you never told me what made you run away just at that time , after all those miserable years . 
Was it because you were unhappy , a sort of cumulative unhappiness ? " 
"Well , " he answered slowly , " I did n't run — I walked . 
All the way from here to Aberdeen . 
Unhappy ? 
I suppose that came into it . 
But the main , the overwhelming reason , was pride . " 
"Pride ? " 
Jane repeated in surprise . 
" Pride , " he said again . 
" To be told , day after day for all those years , that you were living on charity , that there was no reason why they should have to work their fingers to the bone to keep an ungrateful cur like you were — I was determined that as soon as I could I was going to go somewhere where she had n't to keep me . 
And what was more I was going to repay her all she 'd had to spend on me . " 
"But , Neil , " Jane was red with indignation , " you were n't living on charity . 
It was yours . " 
"I did n't know . 
And she said I was . 
I planned it carefully , Jane . " 
" June , do you mean that ? " he exclaimed . 
" Yes , " she returned and her steady gaze conveyed as much as the brief reply . 
He caught his breath and swung back to his own seat . 
He started the car , and sped on at a speed that gradually filled her with alarm . 
" Where are we going ? 
You must turn back ! " she cried , as a milestone flashed by . 
" We 'll go where there can be no turning back , " he replied . 
" We 'll drive till midnight , and stay at the first place we come to . 
Then neither of us can ever go back , and the matter will be settled . " 
"Eustace ! " 
She caught hold of his arm . 
" You 're mad ! 
Turn back ! " 
"No , " he muttered . 
" Other people give up everything for love , and why not we ? 
Love may not be all , but at least it 's more than all the rest . 
I ca n't give you up , June . 
I wo n't . " 
That his reckless impulse was due as much to pride and anger , the chagrin of an imperious man thwarted , as to any warmer passion , made it easier for her to recall him , his own natural good sense and worship of the conventions coming to her aid , but June had her hands over his , trying to force him to turn the car , which performed some queer antics during the brief struggle , and she was imploring him , half sobbing , before she succeeded in persuading him to bring the car to a standstill . 
" Oh , turn round and drive back at once , " she cried , sobbing openly now the danger was past . 
" How could you be so mad ? " 
He allowed her to shed agitated tears for some moments , without offering a word of apology , his mouth compressed , his features cruel in their clear-cut rigidity . 
" I 'm sorry , " he said then . 
" And nothing will make you alter your decision ? " 
"Please do n't talk about it any more . 
Drive home . " 
"You think you 'll make him happy by marrying him out of pity ? " he asked . 
" It is n't pity . 
I 'm fond of him . 
I was glad when he asked me to be his wife , and if — if meeting you earlier might have made a difference , it ca n't do now . 
It would be mean to throw him aside , just to suit my convenience . " 
"If he were well — " began Hilton . 
" I 'd act exactly the same , " she broke in . 
" Please drive back . 
It 's quite dark . " 
Hilton gave a sigh of fierce protest , and in another minute they were rushing back along the way they had come . 
AFTER a temporary improvement , Frank Elvington 's health ceased to show any advance . 
Even his own optimism became slightly dimmed . 
Whilst still confident of his recovery , he did not talk of it and his marriage with such eagerness as before , obviously regarding both as some distance away . 
June watched him with an ache in her heart . 
She seldom saw Hilton , both she and he avoiding each other as much as possible , and she devoted herself to Frank , trying to put Hilton out of her mind . 
One day , when she found Frank preoccupied , he confessed that he had been strongly advised to leave England , and had refused , at any rate , for the present . 
" But why not go , dear ? " she urged . 
" You must do anything to get better . " 
"Because I do n't want to leave you , " he confessed . 
" You must n't hesitate to go anywhere where there 's the least chance of hastening your recovery . " 
"Oh — well , " he said reluctantly . 
" I 've promised to think of it . " 
Whilst he hesitated , June met Dr. Rother , who told her that Frank 's only chance of life was to sail immediately for South Africa . 
He and Dr. Hilton , he added , had done wonders in keeping him alive as long as they had done , but nothing more could be done for him in England . 
The warm climate of South Africa was his last and only chance . 
June had not thought his danger so great , and hearing that Dr. Hilton was still with him , she hastened to Cliff Top , and was in time to stop Hilton as he crossed the wide entrance-hall to the door . 
He was passing her with an inclination of his head . 
" No , " she said , unsteadily . 
" I must speak to you , please ! " 
He followed her into the room near by . 
" Dr. Rother says that Frank must go away at once , " she said . 
" He has just consented to do so , " replied Hilton . 
" But is it true that this is his last chance ? " she asked , and when he averted his head , not answering , "Doctor Rother says it 's his only chance , " she added distressfully . 
He turned his head sharply looking down at her with a ruthless directness , and his words fell with icy distinctness . 
" It is not his only chance , " he said . 
" It is no chance at all . " 
June turned white , her lips falling apart , speechless . 
" He may never come back , " announced Hilton deliberately . 
She was horrified . 
For all her fears , it came as a shock to hear Frank 's doom pronounced in so many words . 
She looked out of the window to where the leaves were already turning to pale yellow and deep copper , a mellow sky above them and she thought of all the beautiful things awaiting his enjoyment , of all the many years of life he was to miss . 
" Are you sure ? " she whispered . 
" Yes . " 
"He does n't know ? " she faltered , and professional instinct brought his brows together . 
" No , " he said , " and you must not allow him to guess . 
I have told you he may never come back , but that must not be repeated to him . 
A patient 's optimism has performed miracles before now . " 
"Of course , he must not be robbed of hope . 
But you do n't expect any miracle to happen ? " 
"No . " 
There was a little pause , whilst June mourned . 
Remembering Frank 's unwillingness to be separated from her — 
" Then is it any use sending him away to — to die among strangers ? " she asked . 
" He does n't want to go . " 
"He must go , " replied Hilton . 
" However useless , we must insist upon everything being done which possibly can be done . " 
"Yes , of course , " she assented , sadly . 
" You see , June , " said Hilton , softly , " you can not put another man in my place even if you wish . " 
"Do n't talk of that , " she begged . 
" How long — how long do you expect ? " 
"It may be as long as seven or eight months , but you 'll be married to me before that , June . " 
"Oh , no ! " 
Even his attraction was powerless to affect her at that moment . 
" How can you mention such a thing ? " 
"Our marriage wo n't hasten his end by so much as a second , for he need not know of it , " remarked Hilton , " and I can not pretend to love you less , now I know you 're going to be mine . " 
He stepped to the door and opened it for her to pass out . 
She could not answer . 
She knew it was only natural that he should not be deeply affected by Frank 's death , and equally natural that he should be pleased at the possibility of making her his wife , yet there seemed something callous about his calmness . 
She braced herself up to face Frank , but the ordeal was far worse than she had expected , for she found him in quite good spirits , waiting eagerly to tell her the news . 
" June , darling , I 'm going to South Africa , " he announced . 
" I 've just promised Hilton . 
He says I have n't a chance here , but he 's certain that a year out there will make me as well as ever I 've been . 
He 's told me of another case similar to mine , which he sent out there with excellent results . 
I did n't tell you , darling , but I had n't much faith in the idea before . 
I thought I 'd perhaps go away from you and — all to no purpose , and if I was n't going to get better I wanted to stay with you . 
But now I feel satisfied it 's just a year 's absence and then — oh , June ! — health and you ! 
No price is too great for that ! " 
It took all her courage and self-control to hide her tragic knowledge from him and to respond to his cheerful talk . 
She tried to rememeber what Hilton had said of the miracles performed by optimism and the desire for life , and to will passionately that Frank 's belief in his recovery would add another miracle to the annals of the sick . 
" But oh , June , to leave you all that time ! " he exclaimed . 
" Eight or nine months at the very least , he said , and most probably a year . 
Will you forget me in all that time ? " 
"No , Frank , I 'll be marking the days off on the calendar and waiting for your return , " she said , though she choked over the words . 
He pressed her fingers to his lips , afterwards holding her hand close against his cheek . 
" I 'd rather stay here and die , with you beside me to the end , " he whispered , " than go away for all that long dreary time and then not return to you after all . 
Supposing something happens to part us , June ? " 
"Nothing will , " she declared , with the tears running down her cheeks , her hands holding him protectingly . 
" Because do you know why , Frank ? 
Because we 're not going to be parted . " 
She spoke vehemently in the impulse that had come to her , the passionate desire to comfort and serve , to sweeten his tragedy . 
" I 'm going with you , " she announced , firmly . 
" June , darling ! " 
He raised himself , his face irradiated . 
" Do you really mean you 'll marry me before I go ? " 
She nodded , a smile quivering under her tears , and as he clasped her to him , kissing and thanking her , she had no regret for her impulse of pity , only a great thankfulness that she could at least make his last months happy . 
" Sweetheart , I 'll ask so little of you , " he whispered , when his first rush of gratitude was over . 
" I only want to have you with me . 
You 're not going to marry a miserable invalid . 
We 'll have a real honeymoon when I 'm well . 
It will be something to get well for . 
Until that time you 'll be Mrs. Elvington only to other people . 
To me you 'll still be my beautiful sweetheart who 's waiting for me . 
And oh , darling , you wo n't have to wait long ! 
I 'll make such haste to get well . " 
Every moment she remained with him increased her satisfaction with the step she had taken , and when she left him she felt more at peace than she had done since Eustace Hilton had come into her life . 
She had undertaken a definite service , one that both her head and her heart approved , and which left no room for personal considerations . 
Thus it was that when Hilton called that evening , she was beyond his power to influence . 
She was in her room , making out a list of the many things she required to take with her out of England , when his car stopped at the gate . 
Thinking it must be Frank who had sent for her , she leaned out of the window , alarmed when she recognised the car , fearing he had brought her ill news of Frank . 
She did not imagine that he would pay her a visit except in Frank 's interest , and when she hurried into the room where her mother was trying in vain to learn the reason of his visit , her first words were of her fiancee . 
" No , " he replied , " there is nothing to be anxious about , but I shall be obliged if you can give me a few moments alone . " 
Mrs. Arnage rose somewhat haughtily , taking her departure with distinct displeasure . 
She might have borne much for Dr. Hilton once , but as mother of the so soon-to-be Mrs. Frank Elvington , of Cliff Top , she resented his cool dismissal . 
" What is it ? " asked June , when she was alone with Hilton . 
She could not think what had brought him . 
" Elvington telephoned me to announce your immediate marriage , " he replied , through his teeth , it seemed , his tightened lips moved so little . 
" Oh ! " 
June was simultaneously relieved and troubled . 
Relieved that his call meant no fresh ill to Frank , distressed and perturbed that he should be going to reopen personal matters which now more than ever should be buried and forgotten . 
The Birds A short story by Barbara Comyns 
Little Hal was like a boy made of butter — yellow complexion and yellow hair . 
After his mother 's death , his thin little face contorted into sudden grimaces . 
His younger brother Charlie held up his chubby arms with love towards Cousin Nelly , who kept house for their father now he no longer had a wife ; but Hal would sit behind the shed door , grimacing under his large straw hat , his long yellow fingers twisting the tags at the back of his boots . 
" That boy 's highly strung , " Nelly would say to his father . 
" He do n't seem natural . 
Why do n't you get him a pet , Bert — a kitten or a dog ? " 
"He 'll be all right when he goes to school , " Bert would answer , and he would give the robust Charlie a poke with his earth-grimed forefinger , which caused the little boy to roll about with laughter , then disappear under the green serge tablecloth until Bert prodded him again and there would be more laughter . 
" There 's a boy for you , " Bert would proclaim with pride , and Hal 's unnatural behaviour would be forgotten . 
Hal was not all right when he went to school . 
He was afraid of the other children and was sick in the Plasticine box on the first day . 
He refused to speak a word , and kept leaving his desk to stand by the door and make faces . 
The following day he behaved in the same way , except that he was n't sick . 
As he stood by the door , a sinister wet patch appeared round his feet and the children shouted , " Please , teacher , that there Hal has wet himself . " 
The teacher , very red in the face , gave Hal a smack on the hand with a ruler , and put some of the sawdust that the chalks had been packed in on the wet patch . 
Hal did not cry , but the rims of his eyes became red as though he had , and he sat quite still for the rest of the morning just watching the door . 
When Nelly came to fetch him home the teacher said , " That Hal of yours lives in a world of his own . 
He does n't seem to be all there . " 
Nelly looked rather put out and replied that he was quite all right , only the poor little chap was highly strung . 
" His dad 's going to get him a pet . 
He 'll be all right then , you 'll see . " 
When Bert came home for his dinner she said , " What about that little cat or dog you were going to bring home for Hal , to give him an interest in things . 
The boy wet himself at school today . 
It do n't seem natural at his age . " 
Hal 's eyes became red rimmed again , but he did not speak . 
He seldom did . 
His father said , " Well , I 've got him a little bird , but I must buy a cage first . 
You 'd like a nice green bird , would n't you , Hal ? " 
The boy just nodded his head , but Charlie said , " Charlie wants a green bird too . 
Will it lay green eggs ? " and Nelly picked him up and , hugging him , said he was a caution . 
The next day , when Hal returned from school , there was the bird in a wooden cage with bars in front . 
His father showed him how the cage should be cleaned and the seed and water containers filled ; and he told him that the bird could be taught to talk " if you speak to it nice and quiet . " 
Hal put the cage on the table and gazed at the bird , fascinated . 
He put his face close and whispered something very softly , then put his ear close , hoping for a reply . 
At that moment , Charlie came running up and put his fingers between the bars , shouting " Hallo , green bird , " and the terrified bird fluttered into a corner of its cage . 
Hal turned to his brother and slapped his laughing , pink face . 
Nelly jumped to her feet , yelling " You 've no call to do that . " 
Hal , afraid that his new treasure would be taken away from him , picked up the cage and dashed from the house to the garden shed , where he spent the afternoon softly talking to the bird and watching it . 
He became devoted to the bird . 
He was allowed to keep it in his bedroom under the eaves , where it was safe from Charlie . 
Usually , when he came home from school , he would free the bird from its cage , and it would fly around the room , picking up little things with its beak and sometimes settling on Hal 's head or hand . 
He talked to it and he said it talked to him , but no one knew if this were true because it flew back to the safety of its cage as soon as anyone else entered the room . 
The teacher said Hal was doing better at school — not that he learnt anything , exactly , but he did sit still and behave better , and sometimes drew birds in his copy-book . 
Perhaps he would get around to letters later , she added . 
Then , one afternoon , a fearful thing happened . 
He was up in that little room of his , with the bird sitting on his shoulder . 
He was talking to it very quietly , and perhaps the bird was talking back — no one knew for sure . 
Outside the door , Charlie was listening hard because he wanted to hear the bird talk too . 
Suddenly he burst the door open and cried , " I heard it , I did . " 
The bird left Hal 's shoulder and , afraid , flew across the room , searching for its cage . 
Not knowing about reflections , it first flew straight into the old brown-framed mirror on Hal 's chest-of-drawers and then , in panic , out of the open window and away . 
Hal knew at once that his bird had gone and would never come back . 
It was after the bird 's disappearance that Hal had his first sort of fit . 
He never mentioned the bird again . 
Perhaps he had even forgotten all about it , but as he almost never spoke now no one really knew what he was thinking about . 
He had taken to sitting behind the shed door again , and sometimes he could be heard talking to himself . 
It was in September that Bert brought home the two cockerels , one white , one black . 
They were leggy young birds , just growing their wing feathers . 
The father said to his boys , " There 's a bird apiece for you . 
I want you to fatten them up , and when they are fit for eating we 'll have a great party and Nelly will become your mother . 
Now see which of you can make his bird grow the biggest . " 
Charlie chose the white bird and Hal had to have the black . 
It was slightly on the small side , but the difference in size soon changed and Hal 's bird grew and grew . 
On the way home from school he gathered corn from the sides of the fields and stuffed it in his pockets , and as soon as he came in by the gate the cockerel used to run to meet him . 
Nelly said , " Well , Hal , I must say your cock is growing into a fine bird . 
Little Charlie 's ca n't hold a candle to it . " 
Hal gave one of his rare smiles and looked at his bird with pride . 
It certainly was almost twice the size of Charlie 's . 
The cockerels grew very large , and early in December Bert said , " Nelly , those birds are ready . 
We must see about the banns . " 
When Hal heard his father say this he knew that one day when he came home from school his cockerel would not be there to meet him . 
It would have to be sacrificed if there was to be a party and Nelly was to become his mother . 
He could imagine everyone 's surprise when Nelly began to change . 
He wondered if she would be wearing mama 's blue dress with the lace on the collar . 
Perhaps , as it was winter , it would be the brown one trimmed with braid , in patterns he thought resembled snail shells . 
The days passed and still the glossy black cock waited by the garden gate for Hal 's return from school . 
Some days he felt he could not bear it any longer , and he would plan to ask his father to cancel the party so that his bird would be saved ; but this would mean that Nelly would not turn into his mother , and that would be terrible . 
The black cock would have to die . 
He almost wished it would peck him so that he need not love it so much . 
Charlie had given up feeding his because it had pecked him right across the nose . 
Nelly had thrown a stone at it and shouted , " Your days are numbered , you bad old bird . " 
Then , one afternoon when Hal came home , there was no cock waiting by the gate , and the knob on the kitchen door had blood and feathers stuck to it . 
He went to the back of the shed and was sick . 
When he saw Nelly he asked her when it was she was going to turn into his mama . 
" Why , fancy you remembering that , you clever boy ! 
In two days I will be your mama and cousin too . " 
Hal sat on his stool by the fire and tried to work this out in his mind . 
Later , he asked , " Will you have two heads ? " and Nelly said , " Bless the boy . 
Whatever is he thinking about now ? " 
The day of the wedding came . 
Hal and Charlie had new blue shirts and new belts with buckles to fasten them , shaped like snakes . 
Nelly had a green velvet dress and a hat with pansies on it . 
When Hal asked her why she was n't wearing his mother 's brown dress , she replied , " Oh , that old thing ! 
Why the moths had it months ago . " 
The cottage became filled with people , and there was a lot of noisy talk and laughter . 
Then it was time for the party , and they all sat down to devour Hal 's and Charlie 's birds . 
When Hal could bring himself to look at the steaming brown carcasses he could see how much larger his bird was than his brother 's , and although he felt a great sadness there was a feeling of pride as well . 
A man with a large waxed moustache and a mop of curly damp hair , whom Hal thought might be his uncle Fred , said , "That 's a fine bird you 're carving , Bert . " 
Hal waited , breathless , to hear his father tell everyone that it was his bird that was so large , but Bert was too preoccupied with carving to answer . 
Sweat was pouring down his face , and he did not like to take his jacket off in company . 
Later , he turned to Hal and said , " You 'd like a little of the breast and perhaps some stuffing , Hal ? " and the boy replied that he would like to eat some of the smaller bird , please . 
He could not eat his own ; it was dreadful to see it there all cut about . 
Every now and then he 'd look down the table at Nelly , who was sitting there looking flushed and very pretty , but not in the least like his mama . 
The cocks had been killed and were almost eaten now and the party had been going on a long time , but there was no sign of his mother 's return . 
Perhaps there was some mistake . 
The last knife and fork had ceased to rattle against the plate , and the bottle of port had been opened . 
For a moment there was silence ; then Hal braced himself to ask , " Dad , whose bird was the largest , Charlie 's or mine ? " 
Everyone turned towards him in surprise and , with half a smile on his face , he waited for them to know whose had been that splendid bird . 
Bert considered for a moment . 
Then , remembering that Hal had asked for a slice from the little bird , he answered , "They were both real fine birds . 
I was proud to carve them . 
Yours was very tender but I think Charlie 's was the largest . " 
It was one of the strangest courtships I 'd ever known — it held society gossips by the ears all that Season A pretty case for Freud BY ALEC WAUGH ILLUSTRATED BY BOB PEAKE 
I NOTICED him in the first place because he was the only other person in the pavilion wearing a silk hat . 
I had the excuse of having come on there from a wedding . 
But I should have gone back and changed had I known how conspicuous I should be . 
It was ten years since I had been to the Varsity Match at Lord 's . 
And I was astonished by the change ; by the empty stands , the absence of smart frocks , the lounge-suited atmosphere of the enclosures . 
A social occasion , for whose sake in remote rectories mothballs had been once shaken out of braided coats and wide-brimmed " toppers " stripped of their tissue wrappings , was now a very ordinary cricket match in which the general public took little interest . 
As I walked in my sponge-bag trousers and shining hat through the long , high , many-windowed morning room , I felt as antediluvian as the curved bats and pastoral portraits that adorn its walls : so antediluvian that as I took my seat beside the one other Edwardian survival , a hackneyed Latin tag — the tongue that it is a solecism now to quote — actually seemed appropriate to the occasion . 
I thought of Lord 's as the pre-war pages of Punch presented it ; of Lord 's as I had known it in the early 'twenties ; the tight-packed mounds ; the coaches by the tavern ; the parade of parasols between the innings ; colour , excitement , glamour ; and now this : Homburgs and bowler hats in the pavilion , long terraces of white beside the screen ... 
{ Nos duo turba sumus , I thought , as I leant sideways towards my fellow relic . 
" I wonder , " I asked , "if I might see your scorecard ? " 
HE turned ; and I immediately forgot that it was a need for sartorial kinship that had decided my choice of seat . 
He was one of the most striking-looking men that I have ever seen . 
He was young : in the latish twenties ; and handsome in a clear-skinned way . 
But it was not merely his good looks that startled me . 
The impression that he made is not to be explained by any cataloguing of separate features ; high forehead , grey-blue eyes , full mouth , long pointed nose . 
I was no more conscious of those separate features than one is of the pattern on a transparent lampshade . 
Just as there are two kinds of lampshade , the one whose object it is to retransmit a softened light and the other that is a decoration , simply ; so are there certain types of face , the one in which the personality is subservient to the featured mask of lip , brow , cheek , to which it gives mobility and meaning , the other in which you are so exclusively conscious of the personality behind that mask that you sometimes find yourself unable to describe the physical appearance of someone with the very texture of whose thought you are familiar . 
It was like that now . 
I was conscious not of a handsome face , but of a new person ; of someone who was masterful but unworldly ; practical but inexperienced ; masculine but with that look of anticipation , of waiting to be fulfilled that you expect to find in a young girl ; a combination of characteristics so self-contradictory that the obvious corollary to their catalogue would be : " What a mass of complexes . 
A pretty case for Freud . " 
That was what you would have expected . 
He was n't , though . 
He was of a piece , without self-consciousness ; the kind of man who does not know what the word shyness means . 
I was curious , alert , excited . 
I 've got to find out who you are , I thought . 
In the lazy atmosphere of a cricket match it is easy to start a conversation . 
The cricket was slow , desultory , undramatic . 
In a little while we were more interested in our talk than in the match . 
At any rate , I was . 
His talk had the same contradictory characteristics as his appearance . 
It was boyishly eager , yet at the same time authoritative . 
It was the talk of one who stood on the brink of experience , yet was accustomed to the exercise of authority . 
More baffling still , though his voice had a slightly mannered intonation , it had no trace of the drawl that you would expect to find in a fashionably-dressed young man . 
He was a puzzle , right enough . 
THE hands of the turret clock pointed to five o'clock . 
Stumps would not be drawn till half past six . 
In an hour and a half I ought to be able to find out something about him . 
Luck came my way . 
An exchange of ideas became an argument , a point which could only be settled by the consultation of a particular book of reference . 
I had fancied the book was in the pavilion library . 
It did not prove to be ; or anyhow , we could not find it . 
I happened to have a copy at my flat . 
" It 's not five minutes ' walk away , " I said . 
" Let's go back there afterwards and have a sherry . " 
"Let's go back now . 
This cricket bores me . " 
An answer that combined his boyishness and his authority ; his readiness to accept new suggestions with his assumption that no wish of his would be contradicted . 
It did not occur to him that I might want to stay on and watch the cricket . 
Like a schoolboy on his way to a party he chattered without stopping till we reached the large , barrack-shaped apartment-house on whose highest floor I had a one-room flat where I keep clothes and papers , that I use as a kind of office { 6pied-a3-terre when I am in London . 
" Is this where you live ? " he asked . 
I nodded . 
HE looked up inquisitively at its straight sheer surface , as though he were seeing this particular kind of building for the first time ; as though he were a foreigner obtaining the material for a monograph "How London Lives " . 
As I opened the cocktail cabinet and set about the preparation of an " old-fashioned " , he deployed none of the diplomatically assumed indifference with which it is customary to take stock of a new room without letting it appear that you are conscious of being in one . 
With an unabashed curiosity he took a mental inventory of the room : its lighting , its shelves , its chairs , its pictures , the jumble of knick-knacks along the mantelpiece ; then started on a tour of investigation , taking up a book , peering into an etching , lifting a cigarette-box ; without comment , as though he were visiting an exhibition , till suddenly , with a note of real interest in his voice , " What 's that doing here ? " he asked . 
He was pointing to the framed original of a jacket design for one of my novels . 
" That ? 
Oh , I 'm responsible for that . " 
"You drew the picture ? " 
"No — wrote the book . " 
"What , you , the author ! " 
There was a surprised excitement in his voice that I should have found extremely flattering had not experience counselled me against a readiness to believe that here , at last , I was about to meet the perfect , that dream reader whom every novelist is convinced must exist somewhere , the one reader who has not only read everything that he has written , but read between the lines . 
On those rare occasions I really am the target at which enthusiasm is directed , it is usually to receive some such testimonial as " I 've been wanting to meet you for so long . 
There 's a mistake in that last book but one of yours that I 've been longing to point out . 
On page thirty-seven you talk about Mildred 's gas fire , and in the last chapter you have coals falling through a grate . 
Now I wonder if anyone else has spotted that ? " 
Previous experience did not encourage me to expect from my guest 's excitement a long , sympathetic , interpretive analysis of my short stories . 
I should have been disappointed if I had . 
" There 's something I 've always wanted to ask you . 
Was Julia Thirleigh really the model for your heroine ? " 
"Well ... " 
It is the kind of question that usually a novelist resents ; resents because it is impossible to reply honestly . 
The answer is always " Yes and No " . 
No full-length character is ever a direct portrait ; yet no character that is alive has not been drawn in part from life . 
A trick of speech has been borrowed here , a gesture there . 
The process of creation must start somewhere ; must have some solid foundation in experience . 
But by the time the story is quarter finished , the novelist has forgotten his model altogether ; his character has developed a temperament and destiny of its own . 
USUALLY , at least , that is the way it happens . 
In the case of Julia Thirleigh it had been rather different ; possibly because I have " put " her into the kind of novel that is less a story than an argument , that requires distinct types to contrast different points of view . 
I needed a character to typify the debutante of the late nineteen-twenties , the second edition of the Bright Young People , the London of the slump . 
And it was just because Julia is herself less a person than a type that , when I had finished the book , I was astonished to find how closely my finished character resembled the model which i had meant to employ merely as a first sketch : so closely that I did not see how a great many people could fail to recognise her . 
Through a decade when young women not only claimed , but asserted , their right to the same independence as their brothers , Julia was the most discussed of those Londoners whose activities are photographed week by week in The Tatler and Bystander and Sketch . 
She was not so much famous as notorious . 
She had avoided , it is true , any open scandal . 
She had not shot an unfaithful suitor , been convicted as a drug addict or cited in the divorce courts . 
To that extent she had been discreet . 
At the same time she had been subpoenaed in a slander suit that had been heard { 6in camera . 
It was at one of her bottle-parties in a top-storey studio that a free fight with gate-crashers had ended in a crumpled figure on the pavement and a comment from the coroner that only her most loyal friends held to be unjustified . 
There had been no open scandal . 
But the clothes she had worn , the company she had kept , her manner , her habits , her whole way of living had given her the kind of label that made her current coin in any argument . 
" Well now , take somebody like Julia ... " and when people said that , no one had any doubt of what was meant . 
PRUDENCE as well as friendship counselled me to show my manuscript to Julia before I delivered it to my publisher . 
She returned it with a very typical remark . 
" I do n't use Blue-grass . " 
"Is that your only comment ? " 
"My only criticism . " 
"There 's nothing there that you object to ? " 
I asked her . 
" Why should there be ? " 
"Well ... " 
She smiled . 
" Is there anything in your book that people have n't said about me and believed about me ? " 
"There 's a difference between gossip and a thing said in print . " 
"If your publishers are afraid of libel I 'll write them a letter of absolution . " 
I could scarcely deny , in the face of that , that I had used Julia as a model , yet I was reluctant to admit that my character was a photograph . 
" In a kind of way , " I said . 
" You did ? 
I 'd always heard you did , but I was n't certain . 
You must know her , then ? " 
"I was lunching with her yesterday . " 
"Yesterday ! " 
He regarded me with a strange veneration , as though I were haloed in such a light as had transfigured Moses on his descent from Sinai . 
"YESTERDAY ! 
I can hardly believe it . 
I 've heard so much about her , read so much about her . 
It 's strange to be meeting somebody who really knows her . 
Is she as beautiful as her photographs ? 
They are all so different . " 
COMPLETE STORY by May Somerset So she invented George 
To be young — and alone — in Paris ... 
What else could either of them do but pretend they were in love ? 
JUDY stuck it for two days . 
Then she revolted . 
And , being Judy , she decided she must do something about it . 
Coming to Paris had been the biggest thrill in all the twenty years of her life . 
She had got the chance when Mr. Cartwright 's personal assistant had fallen ill at the last moment . 
Judy , who had worked under her , knew more about what this Paris conference was about than anyone else in the office — apart from Mr. Cartwright , of course . 
So , at two days ' notice , she was off to Paris . 
Paris in the spring ! 
With mist rising from the Seine in the early morning and the cafes gaily spilling out across the pavements in the midday sunshine . 
She could see Notre Dame from her hotel window and the Arc de Triomphe from the window of the office where the conference was being held . 
It was all fabulous . 
Walking to work , she wanted to sing . 
At lunch time she was torn between the desire to window shop and just sit at a cafe table and watch the world go by . 
It was the evenings that were the trouble . 
Strolling along the streets , exploring Montmartre or the Isle de Cite was possible only if she had company . 
Alone , it was apt to give the wrong impression . 
As Judy had found out . 
Another girl would have done ; or an aunt or uncle , father or mother . 
It did n't have to be a young man ; though , naturally , that would have been better still . 
Judy knew no one in Paris , except Mr. Cartwright , who was engaged every evening , and who was , anyway , at least sixty . 
But she certainly was not going to spend ten glorious evenings sitting in her hotel . 
So , something had to be done . 
And there was something she could do . 
At least , there was the possibility of something . 
Being Judy , that was enough . 
One other person shared the room she had been given to work in , when she was not actually in the conference chamber taking notes . 
He was the personal assistant to the leader of the other English delegation . 
His name , she knew , was Charles Hanson . 
He was tall and lean and quite heart-stoppingly handsome , or would have been if he had n't looked so solemn all the time . 
He sat across the room from her and concentrated on his work . 
Obviously he was immune to females or , at any rate , he was intent on giving that impression . 
But he was the only possibility . 
On the third afternoon of her stay Judy was desperate at the thought of another wasted evening in front of her . 
She did n't want to scare the poor man across the room . 
Neither did she want to give him the impression that she was " that " type of girl . 
All she wanted was a companion so that she could move freely in the evenings . 
She 'd make quite , quite sure there would n't be any misunderstanding about it . 
So she invented George . 
Well , perhaps not quite invented . 
Because there was a George at home in England and he was apt to proudly announce he was " her fellow , " and there was no need to explain that he was five years old and her nephew into the bargain . 
COMING back to the office after lunch , Judy stood at the big window for a moment before she went to her desk . 
Below , in the Champs Elysees , the cars glittered in the sun and the pedestrians were dappled by leaf shadows . 
Then , abruptly , she turned round . 
" Oh , I wish George was here . " 
"Eh ? " 
Charles Hanson was already at his desk . 
He raised his head , looking a trifle startled . 
Judy crossed to her own desk . 
" I said I wished George was here , " she repeated . 
" He — he 's someone I go about with a lot in London . 
It would be so heavenly to have him to go about with here . 
What do you do with your evenings here ? " 
"Er — so far I 've gone for walks . " 
"Are you going for one tonight ? " 
"I — yes , I thought of doing that . " 
"By yourself ? " 
He straightened a little . 
" Certainly by myself . 
I do n't know anyone in Paris . " 
"Neither do I. That 's the trouble . " 
She launched herself into her plan . 
" You see , it 's all very well for you ; you can go for walks by yourself , explore anywhere you like . 
But I ca n't ; not alone . 
People seem to — to get the idea that I do n't really want to be alone . 
" I 'll go crazy if I have to spend every single evening that I 'm in Paris just sitting in the hotel . 
Why , I may never get the chance to come here again . 
" It would be all right if — George was here . 
But he is n't . 
So please , when you go for your walk , may I come with you ? " 
"Good heavens ! 
Do you know , I never thought of that . 
I imagined you 'd have lots of friends ; be out every night . " 
"I have n't and I 'm not , " she retorted . 
" I came at two days ' notice , so there was n't even time to find out if anyone I knew had friends in Paris . 
I know George has n't . " 
She had to keep him in the foreground . 
" He 's never been to Paris . " 
That was true , anyhow . 
" Would n't George mind if you came out with me ? " 
Judy felt her colour rising . 
Thank goodness he had no means of knowing she always did blush furiously if she had told even the tiniest and whitest of lies ! 
" Well , he does rather like me to himself . " 
That , too , was true . 
" But I ca n't waste all my evenings here . 
I want to see so much . 
I want to go on buses and the Metro , up to Montmartre and along the Left Bank . 
I want to go on a river trip . " 
Then a thought struck her . 
She had invented George , but , after all , Charles Hanson might have someone who would prefer that he did spend his evenings in Paris in lonely solitude . 
" Of course , if you 've got someone who might not like it ... " 
"Well , I do n't think Peggy would take to the idea , but she is n't here , is she ? " 
Suddenly he grinned . 
" If you 'll risk George finding out , I 'll do the same with Peggy . 
After all , as you obviously ca n't go around by yourself I 'd be a boor to condemn you to your hotel for the rest of your evenings in Paris . 
" So , shall we say six o'clock , providing this afternoon 's conference does n't run late . 
Still , as we 'll both be there ... " 
They met at six , by the elevators on the ground floor . 
Charles grinned again as she came towards him and Judy found herself thinking that this Peggy was pretty lucky . 
Plainly , Charles was shy at first , but when his smile was so wide and friendly you just had to like him . 
As far as the evening was concerned , her plan could n't have worked better . 
She 'd been right in thinking that Paris in the evening , with a companion , would be a simply wonderful place . 
They ate in the Place de Republique and then went up to Montmartre and found a fair going on in the streets . 
They talked and laughed with all sorts of people . 
They had coffee at several different cafes . 
They looked down on the twinkling lights of Paris . 
And then they walked down the steep streets and back to her hotel . 
" It was marvellous ! " 
There were stars in Judy 's eyes . 
" It 's exactly as I thought it would be . " 
He looked down at her . 
" You must bring George here , one day , and show it to him . 
Is he fun to be with ? " 
Because she felt such a stab of guilt she said quickly : " He 's the greatest fun in the world . 
And I will bring him one day . " 
She 'd be grey-haired by the time he was old enough and probably still a spinster . 
" Will you bring Peggy , too ? " she asked . 
He hesitated , then he shook his head . 
" I do n't think so . 
She finds going abroad too complicated . 
She 's content with Britain . " 
So Paris could stay " theirs . " 
Judy could n't help her heart giving a little leap . 
Neither could she help the malicious little thought that Peggy sounded both drab and dreary . 
Charles was certainly neither . 
SHE took herself to task several times during the next few days , however . 
After all , she had thrust herself on to Charles when , quite obviously , he 'd had every intention of staying solitarily true to Peggy . 
To do anything unfair to Peggy would be mean and despicable . 
But it was a little difficult to remember that when they were seated , shoulder to shoulder , on a boat on the Seine and there was a moon overhead . 
Neither was it easy when they walked back to her hotel and their hands touched and linked for a moment before she pulled hers away . 
" George ? " he asked . 
" And Peggy , " she retorted , almost sharply . 
He moved a little away from her . 
" You 're right , of course . 
But it 's been a good evening , has n't it ? " 
"Wonderful . " 
It was extraordinary how it could hurt to say just one word . 
It would have been silly — and it would have admitted things she did n't want to admit if she had refused to go out with him any more . 
So at the week-end they explored further . 
They went to St Cloud and , of course , Versailles . 
The sun continued to shine and Judy wore the summer dresses she had packed with so much excitement . 
But at night , back in her hotel room , she took to standing at her window for a long time , leaning on the window sill and looking out at Paris as it slept . 
She was storing it all up in her heart . 
Though now , she knew , it would hurt unbearably every time she remembered it , and she would go on remembering it all her life . 
Perhaps Charles would remember , too , even if he did have his Peggy who never wanted to leave England . 
She certainly could n't know what she was missing . 
Charles was lucky ; this could fade to a dream for him . 
He had someone to put in its place . 
But she — well , George , at five years old , did n't promise to be much help , even though she did love him so much . 
Rather ostentatiously she bought postcards for George everywhere they went . 
If Charles did n't like it , well , he could buy them for Peggy , could n't he ? 
Inevitably their last day came , their last evening . 
" We 're doing a show tonight , " Charles informed her masterfully . 
" And a night club afterwards . 
You 're not going back to George without sampling that side of Paris night life . " 
ACTUALLY Judy did n't enjoy it very much . 
She kept remembering that tomorrow night she 'd be back home , and there would be no Charles . 
It was her own fault , of course . 
She had started it all , and if she 'd got hurt there was no one else to blame . 
But it was going to be lonely after tonight . 
And the loneliness seemed to have crept into her heart already . 
After they had been at the night club for some time they fell silent . 
Judy watched the dancers firmly . 
She must n't blink or the tears in her eyes might spill over , and she knew that Charles was looking at her averted face . 
" Ready to go ? " 
He said suddenly . 
" Quite ready . " 
She rose at once . 
But when they were outside neither of them made any attempt to turn in the direction of her hotel . 
The night club was in Montmartre and , wordlessly , they walked up towards the Sacre Coeur , and then , in the shadow of the great church , they turned and looked down over Paris . 
The moon was paling ; it was almost dawn . 
Charles said softly : " Shall we see the sunrise ? 
Everyone should do that once . " 
So they waited , and gradually the sky turned to a pale green and then to pink and then to misty gold which seemed to envelop everything . 
Judy knew that if she made the slightest move towards Charles she would be in his arms . 
" Tell me , how did you come ? 
Did Weir bring you ? " 
Before Linda could make any reply Ralph Batley 's voice cut in sharply from behind her , saying : 
" This is my uncle , Mr. MacNally , and this " — the hand came past her and rested on the boy 's head — " this is my nephew , Michael . " 
Before she could acknowledge the introductions he went on : " Take Miss Metcalfe up to the house , Uncle Shane . " 
"Aye , Ralph . 
Yes , I 'll do that . 
Will you come along now ? " 
The old man backed away from her , one arm extended in a courtly gesture . 
She felt inclined to laugh . 
From first impressions she did n't think she would get many laughs from her employer , but this old man seemed to be bubbling with a peculiar sense of joy . 
In the yard the wind tore at them , and as the old man steadied her with his hand on her elbow he yelled : " Have you long come ? 
I 've been away up in the top field , the fence is flat . " 
"No , I 've just arrived . " 
"Then you have n't been in the house at all ? " 
His voice was high with surprise . 
" No . " 
She could feel his bewilderment . 
" I wondered about your case there . " 
He put out his hand for it , and she let him take it from her . 
" Did Weir bring you up ? 
You did n't say . " 
"No , Mr. Weir was out . " 
"You could n't have got here afore dark then ? " 
"No , I lost my way and I arrived at another farm . 
The name " — she paused , then went on — " the name was Cadwell . " 
THE old man came to an abrupt stop and his hand came off her arm . 
He turned to the boy and said : " Michael . 
Here , take hold of this case and go on up . " 
He pushed the case and the lamp into the boy 's hands , then added : " Away with you now . " 
It was n't until the child had moved off that he said quickly : " Do n't tell me that a Cadwell brought you up here , then ? " 
"Yes , the young man . 
Rouse , I think his name was . " 
"You did n't tell him — Ralph back there ? " 
"Yes , I 'm afraid I did , I did n't see any reason not to . 
What have I done wrong ? " 
There was a tremor of apprehension in her voice . 
" I did n't know that Mr. Cadwell and Mr. Batley were at loggerheads . 
I 'm terribly sorry if I 've caused — " 
" That 's all right , you were n't to know , girl , but I do n't know how Maggie will take this . 
Come , " and he took hold of her arm again . 
They were walking along a broad flagged terrace now and the wind was meeting them head-on , and when they reached the porch they both stood panting for a moment , before the old man said : " I 'll take off me boots . 
Maggie would brain me if I went in with me boots on . " 
Then bending towards Linda he whispered : " Wipe your feet — " 
Feeling very like a child , Linda did as she was requested , while she watched him hop from one stockinged foot to the other over the cold stone flags to the door . 
When he opened the door the reason was made plain , for the floor on to which she stepped was polished as she had never before seen a floor polished . 
But her attention was lifted from the floor to the hall which opened out before her , for in size and shape it was an exact replica of the hall of the Cadwells ' house . 
There was the same large open fireplace . 
There was the same winding staircase going off to the left with the balcony running from it along the entire length of the far wall ; yet for all the similarity this hall had nothing of the other 's charm . 
A long black oak refectory table ran lengthways down the hall . 
Standing with her back to it was a woman . 
She was of medium height with greying hair and had two patches of red high on her cheek bones . 
Her expression checked Linda 's progress . 
THE Cadwells had looked at her each in their own way . 
Ralph Batley 's appraisal had shown his surprise . 
The old man had greeted her gleefully , the boy with wonder ; but this woman 's look was so different . 
It seemed as if she was being called upon to make a quick decision and was finding the process difficult . 
The woman was now coming towards Linda . 
" I 'm sorry you 've had to find your own way . 
When you did n't come at two he thought maybe ... anyway he could n't leave the calving . " 
The woman 's voice was soft and thick and pleasant , but before Linda could say anything she had turned on the old man , crying : " It 's your fault . 
Where d' you think you 've been ? " 
"Now Maggie , whisht a while , I was up in the top field with the railings as flat as a pancake . 
You would n't have me let the cattle get through , now would you ? " 
"Oh . " 
She moved her head impatiently then turned to Linda saying : " Well , come in , come in . 
Here , let me have your coat . 
You 'll be frozen . " 
As Linda took off her coat Shane , tripping towards the fire-place like an aged gnome , said gaily : " She 's got her hand in already , Maggie , she 's been helping with the calving . " 
"Helping with the calving ? " 
The woman looked up at her incredulously . 
Linda , going hot with what she knew was to come , said hesitantly : " Apparently I came in the back way . 
I saw the light in the byre . " 
"You came in the back way ? 
From the main road ? " 
"Yes . " 
"Oh . " 
She nodded at Linda , a smile now softening her face . 
" Mr. Weir brought you ? " 
"No . " 
"No . 
Weir did n't bring her . " 
They all turned their eyes towards the door under the balcony through which Ralph Batley was entering the room . 
As he came slowly across the hall he said to no one in particular : " She took the wrong road . " 
She watched him reach up to the high mantelshelf and take a pipe from out of a wooden rack , then he turned to his mother . 
But his eyes remained on the pipe as he said heavily : " She forked right at the cliff end . " 
Mrs. Batley 's brown eyes were wide and , unmistakably , there was fear in them . 
Ralph Batley turned from his mother 's gaze to the fire now and lifting his foot he thrust it into the heart of the blazing logs . 
A shower of sparks sprayed around the chimney . 
Then taking a home-made spill from out of a bunch and putting it towards the blaze , he said coldly : " Our neighbours were kind enough to bring her to the top gate . " 
He was attempting to light an empty pipe . 
Realising this he threw the spill into the fire and , as if to cover up his mistake , said with a poor attempt at lightness : "I 'm forgetting , you have n't met my mother . " 
Mrs. Batley 's response to this was to say quietly : " You 'll be wanting a wash , will you come up ? " 
She turned about and walked across the hall . 
Linda , picking up her case , followed her up the stairs , along the balcony to the far end . 
There Mrs. Batley opened a door , saying over her shoulder : " I hope you 'll be quite comfortable . " 
Linda moved into the room . 
Then turning quickly about she looked at the older woman appealingly and said under her breath : "Mrs. Batley , I seem to have done something wrong . 
I 'm sorry . " 
Mrs. Batley stared at her for a moment , then stepping into the bedroom and closing the door behind her , said : " I 'm sorry too , my dear . 
I 'm sorry you had to start like this . 
One thing I 'll ask of you , keep away from the " — she paused here , then brought out — " the Cadwells . 
If you want to work here and in peace , do n't even mention their name . 
And another thing I would ask you , do your best for him , will you ? 
You see he never wanted a woman on the place . 
But I was for it , and you 're not quite what I expected . " 
She held up her hand . 
" No offence meant , but you do n't look exactly cut out for this life . 
Still , time will tell . 
Come down when you 're ready . " 
She went quickly out of the room leaving Linda staring at the closed door in bewilderment . 
Slowly she turned and looked about her , and what she saw held some comfort , for there was a wood fire burning in the grate , the furniture was old-fashioned but solid and shining . 
The floor was bare wood and again highly polished , and before the hearth and by the side of the bed were two clippie rugs . 
In the corner stood her trunk and two cases . 
This then was her room . 
It was comfortable and homely , but all she wanted to do was sit down and cry . 
LINDA did not unpack but washed herself and combed her hair . 
Yet fifteen minutes later when she went quietly down the stairs , she could have been dressed for a ball , the way their eyes turned and watched her approach . 
The table was set now with a white cloth and was laden with food and she said apologetically : " I hope I have n't kept you all waiting . " 
"No , no , we 're just going to start . 
Come and sit down . " 
Mrs. Batley took her seat at one end of the table and indicated a chair to the right of her . 
Linda had always considered that she had a good appetite although she may not have shown it in her figure , but she could not attempt to eat half of the dishes that were offered to her . 
There was little talking during the meal except at one stage when Mrs. Batley asked : " Are your parents in farming ? " 
"No , but my uncle , my mother 's brother , manages a farm . " 
No one made any comment on this and Mrs. Batley put in quickly : " Well if you 've all had sufficient you can make a move to the fire . " 
Linda 's help was accepted by Mrs. Batley without comment . 
When some time later she was standing at the sink drying the dishes that Mrs. Batley had washed and was searching in her mind for something to say to break the awkward silence , Mrs. Batley said very softly : " Were you inside the house ? " 
"You mean the Cadwells ? " 
Linda 's voice , too , was quiet . 
Mrs. Batley nodded . 
" Yes , I was in the hall . " 
The older woman flicked her hands downwards into the sink with a violent movement , and with a harsh bitterness but still under her breath she said : " I suppose you 're comparing it with ours ? 
We have n't got a hundred-pound carpet nor all the fal-dals . " 
Linda looked at Mrs. Batley who was now thrusting the china noisily into the cupboard . 
She found herself pitying this woman , and she lied as she said softly : " I did n't notice how the place was furnished . 
All that I can really remember is that the hall is similar in shape to yours . 
But one thing I did notice , the floor and furniture did n't gleam nearly so much as yours do . " 
Even if it had not been true she would have been bound to say it , for there was a loneliness emanating from the other woman that touched Linda . 
As she spoke Ralph Batley came into the kitchen . 
He looked neither at his mother nor at Linda but went straight to the back door and was on his way out when his mother said : " Will she do ? " 
For a moment Linda had the awful sensation that the question referred to herself , but when the reply came : " She 'll do all right , " she was forced to smile . 
It was the calf they were speaking about . 
IN the living-room Shane was sitting with his feet stretched out to the blaze but he heaved himself up on her arrival , saying : " Sit yourself here . " 
"No , no , I 'll sit here . " 
"Do what he says , he 's getting selfish enough . " 
Mrs. Batley was busy now setting up a framework to the side of the fireplace and Linda saw it was a half-finished rug . 
She watched her drop a carrier bag on Shane 's knee , saying : " Get yourself busy , that 'll keep you out of mischief . " 
Then he lazed back , laughing by her side , motionless in the sun . 
He used to drink the cheap , warm wine straight from the bottle . 
" You first , " he told her , " I want the bottle neck to be smothered in your kisses . " 
He made her laugh so much that , sometimes , she spilt it down her dress and left a purple stain on the pique2 collar . 
" When I 'm rich , " he cried , " I 'll buy you champagne , nothing but champagne . 
You can bath in it , drink it , spill it down your dress and it wo n't even leave a mark . " 
With these words he sprang to his feet and cried into the swirling blue , " I love her , I love her , I love her ... 
It 's you I love , you silly girl ... 
Anna and Hugo ... 
Anna and Hugo ... " until their names echoed and trembled to the distant hills . 
He chased her barefoot over the scented grass and thistledown until they fell panting into each others arms on the ground . 
Then he gasped for breath , his body humped and contorted as he clutched at his own throat in convulsive agony and desperation . 
Between the coughing and the retching , he begged her : " Do n't look , Anna , please do n't look at me , " and she would slump to the grass until it was over . 
Sometimes , there was blood even on the flowers , on the daises which had , already , pink-tipped petals . 
The days , the weeks , the months rushed by , express train-like but with no destination , no beginning and no end . 
He used to walk to the studio where he was learning to paint . 
" To save money , " he told her , " so I can buy you presents . " 
He bought her books , flowers , bits of cracked and broken junk which he thought pretty , and sometimes clothes . 
The mackintosh was the last thing he ever gave her . 
" For once I 'm being practical , " he said . 
" Afterall , it 's meant to rain in England . " 
He walked everywhere and the endless exercise made him hungry . 
She spent twice as much as he saved to appease the hunger and they both laughed when the false economy dawned on them . 
She bought him fruit , meat , cheese and eggs and together they strived to cook them over the gas-ring in her bedroom with the help of a French cookery book . 
Their faces were smudged , their foreheads sweaty , their hands garnished with garlic and , laughing , they would decide to cook the English way and fall back on fish and chips . 
In thewinter , the snow helped to hide the barrack grimness of their surroundings . 
It lay like petals on the deserted garden patch and even transfigured the limp lines of washing into dazzling obelisks . 
Hugo's cough seemed better in the snow . 
He would gather handfuls off the trees , kiss it , eat it and chase her laughing and crying down the street , hurling it into her streaming hair . 
He painted her room for her as " white as the snow " he said . 
He stripped off the sad wallpaper , almost angrily , and in its place put up fresh and merry whiteness . 
She made him hang his paintings on the walls and could scarcely believe the brilliant transformation . 
" This is the first time I 've ever hung a painting , " he told her smiling , " and probably the last . " 
She liked best the pictures of Provence , the fishermen with black nets drying on platinum sand , the baskets of rainbow fish which still seemed to squirm in the sun-glitter . 
She liked the lonely stretches of Camargue wasteland , wild , melancholy and mysterious ; she liked the vastness of the rice-fields , once mistral-torn and mosquito-ridden . 
She loved the pictures of housewives , brawny and good-humoured , haggling with their Midi accent over the monk fish , the grey mullet , the tiny squid and the lobsters while the naked starfish sprawled dead in the sun . 
Even dead , the colours were dazzling — silver sea bream ; slithery , bright pink demoiselles ; the angler with mad antennae-like hooks sprouting from its huge head ; the gigantic turbot and the sleek , black dogfish with its greyhound head . 
When she looked at his paintings , she could hear the auction bids and smell the fish and pebbles , she could feel the sticky salt in the women's hair and the tired sweat on the men's faces . 
Over andover again , he tried to paint a picture of Anna . 
He couldn't . 
" I love you too much , " he explained . 
" Anyway, I can only paint fish and peasants . " 
He made her look sad , he made her look happy but somehow he never captured the startling strangeness which was Anna . 
In the winter evenings , she sat for him hour after hour but , in the end , he hurled the canvas from the easel , cursing himself and his lack of talent . 
She reassured him , told him the light was wrong , that he was tired or hungry , that she loved the picture and it was more real than she was herself . 
Then he burst into laughter and asked : " Do you mind if I turn you into a fish ? " 
And, in half the time , he blotted out her likeness and brought fiercely to life , the sea-glimmer , sunlight , fishwives and the sparkle of salt water on sealy skin and delicate fins . 
His excuse was always the same . 
" You see I love you too much , I can't paint the woman I love , the only woman I 've ever loved . " 
"The only one ? " she asked him . 
He looked at her through flickering lashes , half smiling . 
" The only one , " he repeated . 
" Theothers were just games . " 
"What do you call games , Hugo ? " 
Thenhe looked guilty like a child caught stealing an apple . 
" Well , " he said kissing her cheek , " I knew them in the biblical sense . 
They were nothing to me , just nothing . " 
Biblical sense or no , she felt sad and jealous and questioned him closely as to their names and faces . 
Whereupon he swept her into his arms and carried her struggling to the bed . 
" There , " he said as he knelt on the floor by her side , " on bended knee I swear it . 
The only one , it 's you . " 
He lay his cheek upon hers , silent for a while , then he whispered in her hair : " Anna , make love with me , real love ... please do . " 
Before she could think or answer him , he was a tangled heap on the floor , a spitting , gasping heap , half-sobbing , half-human . 
She ran out to get some water and , when she came back , she found him lying on her bed , laughing . 
" So I have to make do with this , do I ? " 
He held up her portrait still wet and sticky . 
" It 's prettier than you , you brutal angel . " 
"There 's not so much of it though , " she answered truthfully . 
Thereupon he jumped up and said that he was hungry . 
" And all because of you , " he told her as he kissed her , clung to her and led her away . 
She was glad it had n't happened . 
She did n't want to be a game , not even in the biblical sense . 
Anyway , he was too ill and she loved him too much . 
Her mother enjoyed having Hugo in the house , her father resented him . 
He did n't like to see other people happy around him . 
It was n't his Methodist upbringing , it was just his nature . 
He was like a damp cartridge ; however much force or pressure was brought to bear , nothing happened . 
He never exploded , either joyfully or angrily . 
He was simply an unfriendly maggot that you might find under a stone . 
She and Hugo had a secret language which they spoke with their eyes and their hands , and many was the mad , snuffed-out laughter conversation they carried on behind her father 's disapproving newspaper . 
He was only concerned that Hugo should pay his rent , not put French coins in the gas-meter slot and not seduce his daughter . 
The third condition was the least important of the three . 
Sometimes Anna wondered if he knew that she was n't his daughter . 
But of course he knew and that made it worse . 
He did n't mind , he did n't want children of his own or despise his wife 's illegitimate one . 
It was this complete indifference to everything , whether mental or physical , that astonished and terrified Anna . 
On both counts he was a miser . 
He gave nothing , he took nothing but he resented everything . 
She could recall Hugo 's farewell so clearly . 
It was so vivid that she often wondered if it had not occurred the day before and whether it were not just another good-night with another greeting in the morning . 
It had been July , almost three years to a day since he first appeared in their lives . 
" We must pretend it 's for a day , " he said , " because we know it 's only a month and then we 'll be together for the rest of our lives . " 
"A day , " she repeated slowly , " but even a day without you is a lifetime . " 
"While I 'm away , " he said , " you must write to me every single day and I 'll write to you . 
You know I ca n't live without you so promise me you will . " 
She did n't even bother to promise — it was so unnecessary . 
" Do n't come to the station , " he begged her , " I 'll burst into tears and make a fool of myself . " 
Nevertheless , she had gone and each tormented minute had been a tiny stretch of happiness . 
He leaned from the carriage window and clung to her , unaware of the selfish noise and activity of a boat-train crowd and they — unaware of him . 
He begged her , made her swear to go on loving him for ever and never to see , touch or talk to another man . 
The whistle went and she brushed the tears from his eyes with her hand . 
" Keep one , " he said smiling . 
" I have my own , " she replied . 
The train shuddered , gathered speed and was gone . 
The blurred heads of holiday-makers leaned out , waving and kissing to the platform of spectators , to the litter of squash cartons , ice-cream wrappers and separation . 
She walked away as in a trance , walking always forward but always left behind . 
No one noticed her . 
On a boat-train station , people look sad or happy — there is no in between . 
She went home and looked at her face in the glass . 
It was like a mask of granite which can not melt , break or be crushed . 
It seemed to have no reason for being there at all — simply a memento of the past . 
She assured herself that in a month everything would begin again as sweetly and smoothly as winding a clock . 
She wrote to him every day for a week and every single day she waited for his answer . 
There was no question of his letters becoming colder , wearier or less affectionate . 
There were no letters — it was as simple as that . 
The postman came to know her face quite well — it was white and drawn and seemed scarcely to exist . 
He gave her gas bills , butcher bills and canvassing pamphlets but her fingers sorted through them hungrily and she closed the door and thanked him . 
She made the lodgers ' beds , went to work and returned at night to wait for the morning . 
After a week , she stopped writing letters altogether and after a month she sobbed herself to sticky sleep each night and woke to the swollen-eyed dawn . 
From that time forth , she lived in the past and three years ' recollection offers a sort of companionship although it has no future . 
She walked down the streets where they had walked together , went to the same pubs and cafe2s , visited the same museums and cinemas and even took bus-rides into the country where each blade of grass reminded her of him . 
She wondered if he were ill , she wondered if he were dead and suddenly she realized that she was the ill one , the dead one , the idiot and the possessed . 
Her father was glad it had all ended ; her mother was too busy to comment . 
" Find yourself a nice steady man , " he told her , " not a choking , arty-crafty foreigner . " 
And he returned to his evening paper in justified and contented humour , pleased that he 'd been right all along and that his day was over . 
"I felt sure that you would like her , Bill . " 
"We got on famously , " he replied curtly , finding it next to impossible to discuss Betty like this . 
" But tell me more about your mother , Kay . 
Is all need for anxiety at an end ? 
You must have had a very worrying time of it , poor old girl ! " 
"Yes , it 's been anything but pleasant , " she replied . 
" Naturally , I was very disappointed about not having this holiday with you , Bill . 
I 'd so looked forward to getting away with you alone . 
As it is , we shall only have a few days to ourselves , for I suppose I ought to get back to mother as soon as I possibly can . 
But never mind , it wo n't be long before we shall be married , and then we shall be together always ! " 
It was the first time Kay had ever spoken to him in such a strain about their approaching marriage , and , somehow the remark jarred on herself almost as much as it did on Bill . 
He said hastily — 
" It 's quite a long time to September , Kay . " 
"But the time will go so quickly , what with one thing and another . 
Buying the furniture for one thing — wo n't it be exciting , Bill , choosing just what we like ? 
You ca n't imagine how happy and excited I feel about it all . " 
Bill 's heart smote him . 
Poor Kay ! 
He had sinned against her , unwillingly , it is true , but nevertheless he had sinned , and however he looked at things , he saw pain for her in the future . 
He said gently — 
" It — it 's awfully decent of you to care so much about me , Kay . 
I 'm not really worth it , you know . 
You 're the sort of girl almost any man would be glad and proud to marry . " 
"But , Bill , you are the only one I want to feel like that , " she said , squeezing his arm , and feeling more reassured . 
" Let's sit here for a few minutes , shall we ? 
This boulder looks very inviting . " 
It had to be the same boulder that he and Betty had sat upon so often . 
Bill gave an inward groan . 
He felt that the situation was getting beyond him . 
Meanwhile , Betty , feeling wretched and unsettled , had collected her belongings and stowed them away in the suitcases she had packed so gaily before setting out for this eventful holiday . 
This done , she contemplated with dismay the solitary hours that lay before her , with only miserable thoughts for company , and yet dreaded still more the return of the other two . 
In the end she went to one of the cinemas and tried to forget her own problems by becoming absorbed in those of the people depicted on the screen . 
It was time for supper when she returned to the boarding-house , and after one anxious glance at the faces of the two lovers , she heaved a sigh of profound relief . 
It was obvious that Bill had been behaving himself correctly and that Kay suspected nothing . 
Betty forced herself to a display of high spirits and gaiety which she was very far from feeling , and in which she was assisted by Bill , who , by now , had reluctantly decided that Kay must be kept in the dark as much as possible concerning the wrong they had done her . 
Kay 's unusual display of affection had touched his heart , even while it had increased his sense of despair and hopelessness , for Bill realised that all chances of making her a really good and loving husband were forever dead . 
After supper , they all three went on the pier to listen to the band , and if the sweet , lilting music woke Betty 's heart to fresh agony , she gave no sign . 
It was only for a few hours longer that she would have to wear her mask and act her role . 
And afterwards ? 
Shudderingly she acknowledged to herself that she dared not face what lay before her . 
" Sufficient to the day , " she told herself drearily , looking at the sea , upon which the magic moonlight shone with the same radiant beauty it had displayed on the previous night , when it had so thoroughly bewitched herself and Bill . 
Oh , how gloriously happy she had been during those few fleeting moments of time ! 
They were engraved upon the tablets of her memory for ever ; they marked for her the pinnacle of life — throbbing , emotion-packed moments , in which , for the first time in her life , she had seemed to really live . 
The contrast between that time and this was too sharp , too poignant . 
She longed to plunge into that silvered sea and swim and swim into forgetfulness ! 
" To-morrow I shall be thinking of all this , " she said . 
" Yes , Betty , and you 'll be sorry you deserted us , " Kay replied . 
" We shall have to come here for our holiday next year and make it a proper one , " she added , smiling wanly . 
CHAPTER 4 LOVE 'S ORDEAL 
NEXT morning Betty bade them both good-bye and returned to London . 
For one long moment Bill held her hand and looked deep into her glorious brown eyes which held his world , and there passed between them that same irresistible electric thrill which had signalled the avowal of their love . 
Then he had stepped back , without uttering a word , and Kay had raised her face and kissed her friend . 
A moment later , the guard 's whistle gave its shrill warning , and the train started on its way . 
Betty felt a strange sensation as she looked out of the window and watched the figures of Kay and Bill diminish , and then disappear from view . 
She told herself that she would do her best never to see either of them again . 
Yes , it was strange a sad sensation , and her eyes were misty as she sank back into her seat . 
So it was over at last ! 
All that now remained was for her to face reality with as brave a heart as she could muster . 
A little desperately Betty told herself that there must be other things in life besides love . 
She had been happy and content enough before she had fallen a victim to its magic spell — why should n't she be able to recapture that old , gay , careless contentment which , up to now , had been all she had asked of life ? 
" I 'm glad that Kay will never know , " she murmured to herself , as she watched the beautiful summer landscape fly past the carriage window . 
And again , late that night , as she lay tossing restlessly in bed , she murmured — 
" Yes , I 'm glad that Kay will never know ! " 
Even that cause of thankfulness would have been denied her , had she known of what was taking place at almost that selfsame moment between Kay and Bill . 
After supper , they had wandered , a little aimlessly , down to the water 's edge , where once again the moon spread that shining track of silver light which seemed to lead to some far-away enchanted country . 
When they reached a deserted stretch of beach , Kay pointed to a nearby groyne . 
" Let's sit down , " she said , and even to Bill , preoccupied as he was with his secret thoughts , her voice sounded strange . 
" I — I want to ask you something , Bill . " 
Somehow , he seemed to know , without being told , what she was going to ask him . 
There had been a brooding look in Kay 's eyes , and an absent-mindedness in her manner which , subconsciously , must have warned him , for he sensed at once that she discovered the truth . 
" I think I can guess what you wish to ask me , Kay , " he stammered . 
" Then — then it is true ? 
You are in love with Betty , are n't you , Bill ? " 
It was impossible for him to deny it , for a moment or two , his lips refused to frame the words . 
But at last he spoke . 
" Please let us not speak of it , Kay , " he said . 
" It was Betty 's earnest wish that you should know nothing of it . " 
"No wonder — she 's too ashamed , of course , " Kay returned hotly . 
" That 's not very charitable of you , Kay , in view of the fact that Betty has left here solely for your sake . 
Do n't you understand ? 
She voluntarily gave me up because of you . " 
"You were not hers to give up , " Kay retorted . 
" Anyway , she knew that my love was hers , " Bill admitted , in a low voice . 
Kay closed her eyes . 
A sharp pang of pain shot through her at his words . 
" Bill — Bill , my darling , you are not going to give me up , are you ? " she cried . 
" Please — please do n't , Bill ! 
It 's only an infatuation . 
It can not last — it can mean nothing to you in view of the long and deep affection we have felt for each other . 
Bill dear , my life will be completely ruined if you throw me over . 
Oh , I could never face such a thing ! 
You are my world , my all ! 
" This — this sudden infatuation you feel for Betty will pass . 
It can not possibly last , Bill . 
You have not known her long enough for it to mean anything to you . 
Oh , Bill dear , " Kay pleaded in a broken voice , " please do n't throw me over after all this time , for the sake of a girl you have hardly known for a week ! " 
Such impassioned words , coming from the usually calm , reserved Kay , went straight to Bill 's heart . 
He could not bear to see her humbled thus before him — this girl who had promised to be his wife and to whom he owed fidelity and respect and love . 
" Of course I 'm not going to throw you over , Kay , dear , " he said quickly . 
" Why , Betty would n't hear of such a thing . 
That 's why she has gone away , as I 've already told you . 
She refuses to have anything more to do with me . 
She has behaved very nobly , Kay . 
Listen , my dear , I asked you to marry me , did n't I ? 
And I 'm going to do my very best to make you happy . " 
Over her bent head , Bill 's eyes were fixed in misery on a fast vanishing hope of ultimate happiness . 
Betty was right . 
Kay must not be forsaken ; for decency 's sake he must keep his pledged word to her . 
The sound of Kay 's quiet weeping came to him , and resolutely he set himself to ease her injured feelings . 
" Do n't cry , darling , " he said . 
" You are right ; all this unhappiness will pass . 
It will seem like some vanished dream from which we have awakened to reality once more . 
You will try to forgive me , wo n't you , Kay dear ? 
It all happened before I was really aware of it . 
Believe me , Kay , I 'm just as fond of you as ever I was — yes , just as fond of you , my darling . " 
Kay longed , but did not dare , to ask him if he cared more for her than he did for Betty , but she knew the desolate answer to that question . 
Instead she said — 
"Of course I shall forgive you , Bill , fully and freely . 
Betty is a very attractive girl and no doubt she took advantage of the close proximity into which you were thrown . 
Anyway , let us never speak of it again , Bill — let it be buried and forgotten for ever . " 
"It shall be as you wish , Kay , " he answered , but more coldly , for he strongly resented the injustice she was doing to Betty . 
" Let's go somewhere and find a sherry , shall we ? " he added . 
" It may cheer us up a bit . " 
"Yes , and we 'll drink to our future happiness , Bill ! " she answered , raising her face to his for a kiss . 
But of all this Betty knew nothing , of course . 
The days went by slowly and wearily . 
She was longing for the time to come for her to return to the office . 
Her parents had gone to Wales to visit an aged aunt , and most of Betty 's pals were equally inaccessible , so that for a time solitude was her portion . 
She had plenty of leisure to dwell upon those vanished days spent with the man she loved — days of golden sunshine and music and utter happiness . 
The knowledge that she might never see Bill again was very bitter to her , but it could n't be helped . 
CONCLUDING Woman SERIAL by MARGARET SUMMERTON ILLUSTRATED BY WALTER WYLES the Sea House Out of violence and fear love could still flourish . 
For now love was theirs 
A MOMENT after the kitchen dresser had swung to and left us in the darkness of the secret passage , there was a sudden , blinding light . 
Ivor had switched on a torch . 
Esmond grunted : " Bolt the door . 
It 'll give us an extra half hour while either Mark or Adkins gets hold of a crowbar . 
Then go ahead , shine the light backwards . " 
There was the long , sustained whisper of oiled metal moving , and then Ivor stumbled over my feet . 
My wrists , stinging with cramp , were free from Esmond 's grasp . 
" Do n't start making a fuss all over again Charlotte , there 's a good girl , " Esmond said . 
" Save your breath . 
You 've got a long climb . 
Follow Ivor . 
I 'm right behind you . " 
The steps went on and on ; sometimes steeply , sometimes on a wide , low incline , and the depths of the treads varied . 
After ten minutes , Ivor had gone so far ahead that it was dark . 
My head struck rock , my feet misjudged the step and I fell with a scream . 
Esmond 's arm came round my waist , but there was no resilience left in me to help him . 
" I ca n't breathe , " I whispered . 
" I 'm choking . " 
"No , you 're not . 
This is the worst patch . 
You 've only about another hundred yards to go . 
Come on . " 
He heaved me upright , and half carried me to a point where the steps ended . 
IVOR had set the lamp on the floor . 
He stood over it , visible to his waist , the rest of him a formless shadow . 
We were in a cave . 
As Esmond put me down , I lifted my arm . 
I could just touch the roof . 
The air was a little sweeter but it was still heavy and my breath came in gasps . 
I would have given ten years of my life for sight of the sky . 
I began to beat my hands against the slime-covered walls . 
I cried out one word repeatedly : it was Mark . 
" Do n't , Charlotte . 
You 've got to stick it out for another few minutes . " 
With hands that had suddenly grown protective , Esmond turned me round , pushed the hair from my forehead . 
" You and Mark have got the rest of your lives to fix yourselves up . 
But this small piece of you belongs to me . 
If you do n't stay with me until I get into the open , I 'm finished , Charlotte . " 
"You 've no chance , " I said , repeating Mark 's words . 
" There is n't a yacht waiting for you ... " 
"Probably not . " 
He shrugged his shoulders . 
" But if I can get clear , make the beach , I 'll find some sort of boat ... " 
I glanced over my shoulder . 
Ivor had moved a little out of the range of the light . 
" Why did you come in here ? 
If you 're afraid of what he might do ? " 
I asked Esmond . 
" He would n't have given me a chance to do anything else . 
He 'd have shot us all down , made his own getaway alone . " 
"What 's he doing ? " 
"Do n't panic . 
He 's clearing the way ahead . 
Except for an air passage , the way out of this cave is blocked with stones and old rubbish . 
After that , there 's a low tunnel , one last cave ... 
From there , out on the cliffs , the odds are against him , not me . 
I know every foxhole a darned sight better than he does . 
I 'll leave you there , Charlotte , and you can double back to Mark . 
He 'll have the door down by then . " 
He raised his voice that he had held to a whisper . 
" All clear , Ivor ? " 
AS he pushed me forward Ivor moved into the light . 
There was a glint of metal in his right hand . 
Esmond laughed , and in the same second pulled me back hard against him , a living shield between him and the threat of the gun . 
" Just as I thought , " he said shortly . 
" My insurance has paid off . " 
I froze against him , as Ivor , giant-size in that low cavern , moved one step , then another towards us . 
I felt Esmond 's left hand move down to grapple in his pocket . 
Then he shouted : " If you want to kill me , you 've got to kill her first . " 
"You 're at the end of the line , Elliot , " Ivor said in a voice of steel . 
Esmond screamed : " You 'll have to shoot her first . 
Lisa wo n't be so keen to have a double murderer on her hands , you 'll find . " 
Their voices overlapped and were trapped in the echo . 
" Lisa 's finished with you . 
You 're a wastrel , a sponger , " Ivor hissed . 
" You never meant me to get out of here alive ... 
Webster ... and the boat , they were a pack of lies ... 
Mark was right . " 
Esmond was now gasping for breath . 
" Of course he was right ... 
You 're going to die , Elliot , and the girl can go with you ... " 
The gun in Esmond 's hand spat . 
The light was gone . 
In the sudden , blinding darkness I managed to wrench myself free of Esmond 's grasp and dive to the ground . 
There was a tumult of noise and the spatter of fire . 
Something struck my arm . 
There was no pain after the first searing blow , only numbness , and sticky warmth trickling over my hand . 
For a moment I crouched there , dazed , then I stood up and shouted as loudly as the breath in my lungs would allow . 
Almost immediately I heard the scraping of heavy , stumbling feet , a voice choking in curses , a fall that sent stones tumbling . 
Then silence again , and after timeless seconds , a long-drawn-out gasp . 
" Esmond ! 
Esmond ! " 
The echo mocked my cry . 
I fumbled frantically in the darkness , bending double , brushing the wet , filthy floor with my hands ... 
Then I fell over the prone figure that was still moaning and dropped to my knees . 
I whispered : " Esmond ! " not sure in the blackness whether it was he or Ivor . 
He breathed the first syllable of my name . 
I shifted his head to my knee . 
It was heavy , and when I felt his face it was wet ... or was it my fingers that were coated with my own blood or slime from the cave ? 
My hands on his shoulders moved down to his chest , and then dropped away as he gave a terrible scream . 
I bent my head until my face was over his mouth , trying to make words out of the senseless mumble that followed the cry of agony . 
But they made no sense . 
And then , behind me , I heard another sound : slow , dragging , tortuous . 
I froze , my body bent over Esmond , my hand grasping the gun that was , miraculously , lying on the ground beside my finger tips . 
Ivor was moving . 
THEN he was on me , his foot tripping over my leg ; my teeth bit my lower lip to stem the scream , and my free hand covered Esmond 's mouth . 
Beneath the weight of his body I willed my limbs to stay stiff and waited to feel the touch of his hand that would tell him Esmond and I were n't dead . 
In that moment my finger found the trigger of the gun . 
Would I have pulled it ? 
I do n't know , because the weight gradually heaved itself from me . 
Footsteps , scuffling , uncertain , dragged themselves away , and finally , there was utter silence . 
I lifted my shoulders , eased the burden on my knees , and waited ... 
I fought hard not to wake up . 
Desperately I clung to the remnants of unconsciousness , burrowing in the thinning layers , trying to ignore the pain in my arm and a voice that called my name . 
But the voice and the pain were winning . 
A hand on my shoulder scattered the last fragments and I cried out . 
The voice said : " I 'm sorry , but it 's time you woke up , Charlotte . " 
Odd , I thought , it sounded like Edwina 's voice . 
I opened my eyes . 
The room was full of daylight . 
" There ! 
You 'll be perfectly all right know . " 
Her voice was relieved . 
I pushed myself up on the pillows . 
" What time is it ? " 
I asked . 
" Almost ten o'clock . " 
She glanced at my arm . 
" You 're not to worry about that . 
It was only a simple flesh wound . 
Dr. Farnes stitched it up for you last night . " 
I was still only half awake . 
" Could I have a cup of tea ? " 
I said . 
" Ivy is bringing you your breakfast as soon as she can manage it , but she 's all behind this morning . 
Nothing has been done properly . 
It 's all extremely upsetting . " 
I stared at her . 
The memory of the afternoon and evening before came faltering back to me , in patches . 
I could feel the dazzle of the torches as Mark , Adkins and the others reached me in the cave . 
" Are you hurt , Charlotte ? " 
Mark had gently eased me upright , away from Esmond . 
Adkins had bent over the body that I had guarded , and a whole world of tortured waiting passed before Adkins said : " I 'm afraid there 's nothing else we can do for him . 
Mr. Halliwell , I suggest you help Miss Elliot back to the house . 
I 'll follow you . " 
Even now , I could hear my own voice crying out , and Mark saying : " Hush , darling . 
He 's dead . 
I 've got to get you out of here . " 
I could remember nothing after that but a close-up of Dr. Farnes 's face as he bent over me , and his cheerful voice saying : " Now do n't worry , young lady . 
This is n't going to hurt you . 
You 're going to have a nice , long sleep . " 
I twisted round , so that I could look fully at Edwina . 
Her face was grey and pinched , but from the light in her eye I could tell she was on the brink of reading me a lecture . 
I cried out accusingly : " Esmond need never have died if you had n't given him away . 
You came straight back here yesterday afternoon and telephoned Inspector Adkins . 
How could you be so cruel ? " 
SHE shook her head at me , patiently admonishing , as if I were a child . 
" If you commit murder , Charlotte , you must be punished . " 
I said : " Why did you play that horrible cat and mouse game if you knew Esmond was there ? " 
"I did n't know he was there until I saw the way that dog behaved , that the dresser hinges had been mended and oiled , and the attic was bolted . 
When that meddlesome policeman forced himself on me in the morning with his story of Esmond being alive , I did n't believe him . " 
She leaned forward , said fiercely : "And do you know why I did n't believe him ? " 
I shook my head . 
" Because if he were speaking the truth it meant that all of you , and you in particular , Charlotte , had wilfully deceived me . 
Do you think it 's pleasant to learn that a granddaughter to whom you 've given nothing but kindness , whom you 've tried to love , is sheltering the murderer of ... " 
She broke off , as if Danny 's name was too precious to be spoken before me . 
For a moment her eyes closed and then she recovered herself . 
" I 'd never have believed you were capable of such deceit . 
However , it is Mark I blame for the way you behaved . 
I shall never forgive him . 
He 's to leave this house ... " 
I broke in on her tirade . 
" That 's not how it happened at all . 
I found Esmond . 
Mark wanted to go to the police . 
I would n't let him . " 
"Let him ! 
Let him ! " she burst out . 
" A grown man should be the keeper of his own conscience , not at the mercy of a silly , sentimental girl . 
And a fine help he was to you ! 
You might have been killed . " 
"Where is he now ? " 
I asked . 
" Where you 'd expect him to be ! 
Explaining his conduct to the police . " 
There was a fumbling at the door , and Ivy came in , breathless , awkward . 
When she 'd gone , Edwina bent over me . 
" You 've got an egg . 
I gave orders for it . 
And there 's some honey . 
That 'll do you good . " 
"I just want the tea , " I said . 
" Oh , no , " she protested . 
" You must eat a good breakfast . 
I ca n't promise you what the rest of the meals will be like today . 
Mrs. West has left , you know . " 
Mrs. Crichton smiled at Tandy . 
" Come into the drawing-room , dear , and talk to us . " 
And , as Tandy followed her into the room , and Mr. Crichton got up to greet her , Mrs. Crichton added : " If this visit is what we think , Tandy , I hope you 're as pleased about it as we are . " 
"I 'm delighted , " she said . 
" Marion 's such a darling . " 
"And your brother is the first young man I 've ever encountered that I 'd trust my girl to , " said Mr. Crichton . 
Ten minutes or so later , and looking like a girl who had been very thoroughly kissed , Marion came into the room , Jock 's hand in her own . 
" Mummy — Daddy — we — " 
Gently , smiling , Jock interposed . 
" Marion , my love , I have an idea that if my sister has had anything to do with this , they wo n't need telling . 
But , just for the record , we 're engaged ! " 
After that , everyone seemed to be kissing everyone else ! 
Intermingled with her pleasure for them , Tandy felt a private little glow of happiness . 
For so long , now , she 'd felt responsible for Jock , whether or not he would have wanted it . 
And now — he had a grand girl like Marion to look after him , and she herself would be free . 
Free ... to let her love for Granville rule her life for ever . 
Long after she and Jock had got back to the flat , she lay awake thinking of Granville . 
She 'd see him again tomorrow , but not till tomorrow night . 
That meant the whole of a long day to live through first . 
I 'm wishing my whole life away , she thought , and smiled gently to herself . 
It was worth living through hours of tedium , for those precious hours with Granville in the evening . 
Next morning at breakfast , Jock said : "Do n't do anything about supper for me tonight , Tandy . 
Marion and I want to go out to celebrate our engagement . 
We sha n't be buying the ring until the weekend , but tonight I want to take her out to the best dinner I can find ! " 
"Yes , Jock . " 
For a moment , Tandy felt sad , thinking that many of the pleasures most engaged couples shared would be missing for Jock and Marion . 
Dances , theatres , cinemas . 
She herself had never worried about any of them , but then she had n't grown up in a city as Marion had . 
Would Marion mind ? 
Yes , sometimes . 
But reassurance came to Tandy in the knowledge that Marion adored Jock . 
Being with him was what would matter most to her in life , now and always . 
" I 'm beginning to feel a bit conscience-stricken about you , Tandy , " Jock said suddenly . 
" I 'm a selfish devil . 
When you 're happy as I am , you 're apt to forget — " 
" Forget what , Jock ? " 
"Well — if we get married — " 
"Listen , Jock dear , when you get married , if you want this flat I 'll move out . 
It 's as simple as that . 
I can go into a hostel , or get digs with one of the other girls at the college . 
Or — " 
He did n't even hear the other word as it trembled softly as a whisper . 
She did n't finish the sentence . 
She just could n't — yet . 
But , she thought , as she started on her way to the college — maybe Jock was n't the only member of the family to have exciting news this week . 
Only , until Granville really told her , she could say nothing to Jock at all . 
The sun was shining and Tandy 's heart was singing as she crossed George Street that evening and made her way down to Princes Street for the bus to the studio . 
" You 're late ! " 
Granville said almost accusingly , as she walked into the studio . 
" Sorry — " 
" So you should be , my sweet . 
Do n't you know I 've been counting the minutes , all day , till you came ! " 
He moved to her and took her into his arms , and the wonder of his kiss blotted out everything . 
" Granville — " she said at last , shakily . 
" Yes , my love ! 
That 's just to keep you quiet till I finish the picture ! 
With any luck we 'll be through with it tonight ! " 
She did n't bother to change . 
He 'd finished the painting of the dress last night and it was only work on her face and arms that was left . 
She took up the familiar pose with a kind of sadness in her heart because it was the last time . 
Yet it was stupid to be sad . 
The picture meant something ; certainly . 
It had brought them together . 
It would , she thought , be a symbol ... 
As she stood , feeling the familiar fatigue creep over her , Granville suddenly threw down his brushes . 
" Well , Tandy ? 
I did n't let you see it properly before . 
What do you think ? " 
Tandy walked over to the easel and then stopped , frowning . 
" She — she 's prettier than I am , Granville , " she said at last . 
" Nonsense . 
Your trouble is that you do n't know how damned attractive you are . " 
She could see she 'd annoyed him , even with the implied criticism , and she did n't know what to do to put things right . 
But it was true . 
The picture was of a very pretty girl in a white , full-skirted evening dress . 
But — it was n't her . 
She could n't have said where it failed , except that the eyes staring out of the canvas had a boldness which was quite alien to Tandy . 
" It 's — very nice , " she managed to say at last . 
" Nice ! 
That 's a stupid word . 
I tell you it 's my best ever . 
I 'm going to submit it for the next Exhibition in London . " 
She smiled . 
Seeing his pleasure in the picture she forgot the doubts in her own mind . 
" And now , " Granville said , " we 'll go down and have a drink and then perhaps go out for some food . " 
He went through to the bathroom to remove the paint from his hands , and she sat quietly on the settee , wondering why it was that she felt strangely flat and disappointed . 
Perhaps she was tired ; she had n't slept much last night . 
But , perhaps , a little of it was reaction , because the picture that had kept them together all this time was finished — and she did n't like it as much as she 'd thought she would . 
" Ready , my love ? " 
Granville came through and pulled on his jacket . 
He took her hand as they walked to the door , and just as they reached it , he took her into his arms again . 
" Sweet Tandy , " he said , huskily , " beloved Tandy . 
Oh , Tandy , I 'm crazy about you , my love . " 
They stood locked together in an embrace which made Tandy 's head swim and then they slipped down the staircase and along the road to the hotel . 
" A quick drink , " Granville had said , " and then we 're going a bit farther afield . " 
His car was in the garage and Tandy waited for him in the hotel lounge till he 'd collected it , feeling , as she always did , out of place among the smart people who invariably patronised this favourite bar of Granville 's . 
As she saw Granville coming back , she rose to go . 
A voice , just a little louder than perhaps was intended , floated towards her . 
" Yes , that 's Granville 's latest . 
Cradle-snatching , is n't he ? " 
She felt the blood rush to her head . 
Granville 's latest ! 
Just as if she was some girl he 'd picked up and would drop again when he was tired of her ! 
It was n't like that , she thought fiercely , it just was n't . 
Granville loved her . 
Granville saw her expression and frowned . 
" What 's the matter , my sweet ? " 
"Nothing — " 
He did n't persist as , irrationally enough , she 'd wanted him to . 
He just said : " If one of the lads has been making cracks , I 'll deal with him . 
But any young woman who goes around with me is apt to get some , Tandy . 
That 's fair warning , my girl — " 
His tone was light . 
" Where are we going , " she asked as they got into the car . 
" On a tour of inspection . 
There 's a place I particularly want you to see by moonlight ... 
It 's there , complete , even to the wishing well , my love . " 
"You mean ? " 
"Our small hotel , " he quoted softly . 
" You 'll fall in love with it the way I have , when you see it , Tandy . " 
" Here we are , " said Granville . 
Tandy took a quick breath . 
It was perfect . 
Hardly an hotel at all really : just a long , low-thatched building , its white-washed walls stark in the moonlight . 
Lit up with fairy-lights , it looked like something out of a dream . 
He slipped his arm round her . 
" I knew you 'd love it , poppet . " 
She went on staring , utterly bewitched . 
He 'd been right . 
There was a well , a wishing well , in the front garden . 
As she watched she could see a couple standing there , hand in hand , oblivious to everything but themselves . 
" Oh , Granville , it 's just what I dreamed of , " Tandy said in a whisper . 
Granville smiled gently . 
This was the way to do it ... 
" That 's what you call a preview , Tandy darling . " 
He backed the car out again and drove back swiftly in the direction of the city . 
He could see the way she kept glancing at him , and he knew exactly what was in her mind . 
She wanted him to stop the car , to make love to her . 
He turned down a small lane , and slowed to a stop . 
" You 're very silent , Tandy , " he said lightly . 
" Am I ? " 
"You are . 
And I 'm glad . 
I hate women who chatter the whole time . " 
"Granville — Granville darling — " 
He put his arm round her , drew her towards him . 
" I love you ... " 
"And I love you , Granville , I love you . " 
The words came out with a fire that almost frightened her . 
Her very feelings were frightening her now . 
She 'd had no idea , until this moment , just how desperately disturbing love could be ... 
His lips came down hard on hers and she clung to him . 
" Granville — darling — " 
" My love — " 
At last , she struggled free from his arms . 
" Well , Tandy , " he said , " you 've seen our hotel . 
You know it 's waiting for us . 
When is it to be ? " 
"Granville ! " 
Suddenly now everything was right and wonderful and not a bit frightening any more . 
" Granville darling , not just for a little while . 
I mean , you see , I must wait until Jock and Marion are married . 
I do n't think that 'll be long now . 
They 've found each other and they want to be together always . 
But — but once they 're married , then you and I. Oh , Granville , say it . " 
"Say what , my sweet ? " 
"Say — I love you , Tandy . 
I want you to marry me — " 
Abruptly he drew his arm from her shoulders . 
Abruptly he switched on the car ignition . 
" Another of them ! " 
His tone was like a lash . 
But what had she done ? 
" Another of what ? " 
Over the purr of the car engine , his voice came to her : " You 're like the rest of them , Tandy ! 
I just ca n't believe that . " 
He put the car into gear , put his foot down . 
In silence they drove back into the city . 
He said no more until they had stopped right outside the flat . 
" Well , Tandy ? " 
"You 're angry with me , Granville . 
Why ? 
What have I done ? " 
"Done ? 
Nothing I suppose . 
It 's just that I 'm disappointed . 
I thought you were different . 
Like me . 
Honest . 
Straight . " 
"What on earth do you mean ? " 
"How I hate and despise the kind of woman who will only settle for a wedding ring , Tandy . 
Marriage is something foisted on us by people who like the idea of living in cages because they 're too scared of freedom . " 
"I do n't understand , " her voice trembled . 
" Loving people , Granville , means you want to be with them always — and that 's why people get married , surely , so that they can be together always . " 
"And you think a few mumbled words in front of the Registrar and a gold band on your finger makes you more capable of loving ? 
Is that it ? " 
"Granville — it would n't be the Registrar for me . 
I — I 've dreamed about falling in love and getting married and though I did n't know what love was like then , I just felt that I 'd want to stand in a church , and — have the blessing — " 
" I 'm sorry . 
It 's obvious we just do n't look at things in the same way , you and I. Tandy , I do n't blame you for your attitude . " 
SHORT STORY by MARTIN MAYCOCK He wondered throughout the long dark hours he spent ... 
WAITING FOR STEPHEN ... what had come between him and his son ILLUSTRATED BY MONICA GILL 
THAT Saturday , Stephen was due home from the church hall before five . 
His father , who was hard at work at his desk , did n't notice the time passing and it was well past six when he looked at the clock . 
He thumped his papers into a tidy shape , lit his last cigarette , and went out on to the landing . 
" Stephen . 
Are you back , Stephen ? " 
His voice sounded through the house . 
But there was no reply . 
Alan was puzzled . 
He came down the stairs rather quickly , looked into the living-room and the dining-room , and then walked out through the kitchen into the garden . 
There was no one there , but Alan stood , for a moment , on the edge of the lawn , enjoying the warm evening . 
There was no wind ; the oak tree on the allotments behind the house was standing absolutely still . 
It was perfect for cricket . 
If Stephen had been back from the rehearsal on time they could have had a spot of practice ... 
ALAN mooned across the grass , feeling vaguely let down . 
If Mary had been home , they would have been going to the Swansons ' dinner party . 
That was out , and now no cricket . 
Alan went inside again and stood by the bay window in the front room . 
Except for George Sheriff , clipping his hedge , the road was empty . 
Alan stood there , looking out , his fingers drumming lightly on the sill . 
His fingers stopped drumming . 
A small boy in a blue blazer was walking along the pavement . 
He came about a quarter of the way along the road , and then turned in at a white gate . 
Alan went out by the front door , hurrying towards the white gate . 
The boy in the blazer answered the door when he knocked . 
Alan knew him ; he was in Stephen 's class . 
" Gerald , " he said . 
" Stephen 's not home yet from the rehearsal . 
What time did you finish ? " 
"Not till five . 
I 've been around at John Purdy 's since . " 
Alan looked at his watch . 
It was now ten past seven . 
He said : " I suppose you did n't see who Stephen left with ? " 
Gerald shook his head doubtfully . 
" I did n't see him go . " 
He paused . 
" I think he left earlier . " 
He started swinging the front door nervously . 
" Why did he leave earlier , Gerald ? " 
GERALD was silent for a moment , then , still swinging the door , he said : " He thought they were laughing at him . " 
"Laughing at him ? " 
"When he recited his poem they were laughing at the back because Anderson tore his trousers on a nail . 
Stephen stopped saying his poem . 
Mr. Field told him to go on , but he just stood there . 
And then he walked off the stage . 
He went out by the side door and I did n't see him again . " 
"Any idea where I might find him ? " 
"Well , no ... not unless he 's round at Cobbold 's . " 
"Cobbold 's . " 
Alan repeated the name . 
He said nothing . 
Then : " Where does he live ? " 
"I 'm not sure . 
Somewhere the other side of the church . " 
It took Alan some time to get across to the church . 
He walked round to the porch and pushed through the inner door . 
There was no one inside , but the vestry door was open . 
Alan crossed the nave , knocked on the open door and looked in . 
Field was working at some papers . 
He was old for a curate . 
Fortyish . 
Alan 's age . 
Alan explained about Stephen being late and Field said he had n't realised that Stephen had left before the others . 
" He muffed some of his lines this afternoon , Mr. Deane . 
That probably upset him a bit . 
But do n't worry . 
" He 'll be back for supper . " 
"I hope so , " Alan said . 
" Mary 's visiting her sister . 
If Stephen 's not home when she gets back I just do n't know what she 'll do . " 
For a while it was quiet in the room . 
Then Alan asked Field if he knew where a boy named Cobbold lived . 
Field delved into a card index and came up with the address . 
HE wrote it on a slip of paper . 
" Is young Cobbold a friend of your lad then ? " 
Alan shrugged . 
" If it 's the boy I 'm thinking of , Stephen brought him round once . 
Just the once . 
I had to put my foot down there . " 
He turned to go . 
" Mr. Deane . " 
Alan turned . 
" Mr. Deane , why did Stephen decide to take part in the concert ? 
He does n't really like that sort of thing , you know . " 
Alan did not reply at once . 
At last he said : " Some people leave it to others , Mr. Field . 
And some people get down to the job themselves . 
I 've always buckled down to it . " 
"And Stephen , he feels the same ? " 
ALAN nodded . 
" I believe in training , " he said , and moved away across the nave . 
He was back at the porch when he heard a step behind him . 
It was Field again . 
" You go down to this Cobbold boy , " he said . 
" I 'll make a few calls , and meet you back at your house . 
If I find Stephen , I 'll bring him straight home . " 
There was no front gate to Cobbold 's house . 
A small van , rather dilapidated , stood on the grassy gravel drive . 
Cobbold 's mother answered the door . 
She smiled at Alan rather vaguely and sent him round to the back . 
Cobbold was there , feeding some small animals in a hutch . 
He was the boy Alan remembered : thick glasses , and rather weedy . 
None too clean . 
He had wanted to drag Stephen off somewhere with his elder brother after dark . 
To photograph bats , or something equally ludicrous . 
Quite an unsuitable type of boy . 
Alan did n't refer to their previous meeting . 
" I 'm Stephen Deane 's father , " he said . 
" Do you happen to know where he is ? " 
The boy shook his head . 
" He has n't been round today , Mr. Deane . 
Is n't there a concert or something up at St. Mary 's ? " 
Alan nodded . 
Cobbold seemed to find it difficult to express himself clearly . 
" Is Stephen lost then ? " he said . 
" Do you want me to find him for you ? " 
"No . 
No , thank you , " Alan said rather sharply . 
" If he should call in , tell him to go home at once , will you ? " 
Stephen still was n't back when he got home . 
It was dark now indoors . 
Alan switched on the light in the hall . 
Then he switched on the kitchen light , filled the kettle and set it on the gas . 
He walked into the dining-room and switched the light on there , too . 
Out in the hall someone was tapping the door-knocker softly . 
Alan went to see who it was . 
It was Field . 
" Home yet ? " 
Field asked . 
Alan shook his head . 
" Well , I 've no news of him , I 'm afraid , " Field said . 
" No news is good news , of course . 
I called at the police station . 
They 've had no accidents reported . " 
"Would you like a cup of tea ? " 
Alan asked . 
They went into the kitchen . 
" I insisted that he should take part in the concert , " Alan said . 
Field looked at him across the rim of his teacup . 
" Should n't I have ? " 
Alan asked . 
" I want him to pull his weight . 
The concert 's for the parish development fund . " 
"It 's a good cause , " Field said briefly . 
THEY finished the tea and then Alan started ringing people up . 
At half-past nine , in an interval between calls , the telephone rang . 
It was the police station . 
A voice wanted to know if Stephen was home yet . 
When Alan said he was n't , the voice said a car was coming round . 
The police car seemed to arrive almost at once . 
When Alan went to the door there were two men on his step , both in plain clothes . 
Alan took them into the living-room ; he felt suddenly cold and switched on the electric fire . 
The older man , who was a sergeant , sat down on the sofa . 
Alan told him how Stephen was said to have walked out of the concert rehearsal and had n't been seen since . 
He explained that his wife was away visiting her sister . 
The sergeant had a notebook on his knee . 
He asked for the full name of the boy . 
Stephen Roger Kearsley Deane . 
Age ? 
Ten years . 
Description ? 
The sergeant 's notes soon filled a page of his book . 
He turned over on to a clean page , and asked for the names of boys that Stephen knew . 
When Alan thought about it , it seemed that Stephen had no very close friends . 
" He 's rather a shy boy , you see , " he said . 
The sergeant finished writing . 
He looked up . 
" You 've not told your wife yet ? " 
He gestured at the phone . 
" Not yet . " 
"Are things normally a little difficult between you and the boy ? 
Do n't mind me asking this , Mr. Deane . 
It might help us . 
From what 's been said I gather that he was n't very keen on being in this concert at all . 
Do you often have rows over things like this ? " 
HE stared at the sergeant . 
" There was no row . 
There are never any rows . 
We do n't brawl in this house . " 
"Trouble between you and your wife ? " 
There was no shade of expression on the sergeant 's heavy face . 
" Anything that might worry the boy ? " 
There was a momentary pause . 
" No . 
Nothing . " 
Field left about ten minutes after the two detectives . 
Alan went with him to the gate . 
As Field drew away on his motorcycle Alan noticed a knot of men under the street lamp across the road . 
One of the men broke away and came over to Alan . 
It was Roy Fox , father of the boy , Gerald . 
" We are going out round the streets , " Fox said . 
" They 're parcelling them out now . 
We 're going in twos . " 
"I ought to come with you , " Alan said . 
" But the police said to stay here for Mary . " 
Fox was a tall , thin man with a big ginger R.A.F. moustache . 
He gripped Alan 's hand . 
Then he went back to the group under the lamppost . 
Alan went indoors . 
Upstairs in his bedroom he put on a thick blue jersey under his sports coat . 
In the kitchen again , he looked for his torch but could not find it . 
Mary arrived home by taxi . 
" Stephen 's not come home , " Alan said , pushing the door closed behind her . 
Mary sat down on the stairs . 
" Where is he then ? " she said . 
Her face seemed very pale in the weak light of the hall . 
Alan told her how things were . 
" Who have you checked with ? 
The Bruces ? 
The Smails ? 
The Willoughbys ? 
The Cartwrights ? " 
At each name Alan nodded . 
" I phoned them . 
And the police are going round . " 
He explained about the detectives . 
" David Forrest 's mother ? " 
"Field saw her . 
Field from the church . 
But none of them would have kept him until now . " 
Still in her coat , Mary stood up and went into the living-room to the telephone . 
Most of the people she rang had been checked already but Alan let her do it . 
At last she put the phone down , went over to the sofa and sat there hugging her coat around her . 
" Would you like a cup of tea ? " 
Alan asked . 
Mary said nothing . 
" They seem to think he was upset at being in the concert , " Alan said . 
" Perhaps I should n't have put him in for it . 
But he 's got to learn to mix and to do his whack . " 
"Why ? " 
Mary said . 
" I 'm not a good mixer . 
Some people are n't . " 
She had been looking intently at her hands . 
Now she raised her head and looked into Alan 's eyes . 
" Sometimes you are disappointed in me , are n't you — because I do n't join in with this and that ? 
I think you love me , but sometimes you are disappointed . 
" And what you do n't like to say to me , you say to Stephen , do n't you ? 
You 're worried in case he grows up like his mother . " 
Alan said : " I want to do my best for the boy . " 
"That 's not good enough . 
Your best does n't matter . 
It 's his best that is important . 
He has to be himself , Alan . 
Make his own choices . 
Look how he wanted a kitten for his birthday , and you gave him football boots . " 
The Doctor 's Daughters by ANNE WEALE ILLUSTRATED BY DENIS ALFORD 
It was like a pebble thrown into a quiet , still pool when Daniel Elliot met the doctor 's daughters ! 
THE STORY SO FAR 
For three years after the death of Sir Robert Elliot , Branford Hall lay empty and the overgrown grounds became a favourite haunt of RACHEL BURNEY , eldest of the local doctor 's three daughters . 
Rachel had kept house for her widowed father , her younger sisters , CAROLA and SUZY , and their fluttery aunt , RACHEL BURNEY , ever since leaving art school some years previously . 
One sunny May morning Rachel woke from a daydream in the Branford orchard — she had been wondering whether she would ever marry EDWARD FORRESTER whom she had known since childhood — to find herself being scrutinised by a tall , bronzed man . 
In her consternation and not realising he was Sir Robert 's Canadian grandson , DANIEL ELLIOT , she accused him of trespassing ! 
Later , listening to the Canadian 's sarcastic comments as she accompanied him through the dusty , neglected rooms of the Hall , Rachel became convinced he was the most provoking , arrogant man she had ever met ... 
At tea she was filled with dismay when DOCTOR BURNEY suddenly announced that he had invited the new owner of the Hall to dinner that evening . 
Twenty-year-old Carola , the beauty of the family , returned home delighted because she had been appointed house model of the store where she worked . 
Tubby , fourteen-year-old Suzy was frankly envious . 
Promptly at six-thirty there was a knock on the front door . 
Rachel opened it — and was struck dumb . 
Gone was the casually dressed Canadian she had thought a " backwoodsman " — this Daniel Elliot was immaculately tailored ... 
The story now continues 
ALTHOUGH Rachel had spent most of her life in a neighbourhood where even rich people wore ancient tweeds and faded raincoats , she could not fail to recognise the faultless cut of the lounge suit which now replaced the disreputable slacks Daniel Elliot had worn earlier that day . 
She knew , too , that the immaculate cream silk shirt and olive green gum-twill tie must have been bought at some very expensive shirtmakers . 
Perching on the edge of the sofa , she tried vainly to think of something to say and was relieved when the visitor broke the silence by asking permission to smoke . 
" Oh , yes , please do , " she said hastily , looking about for the ivory cigarette box that her father — himself a pipe-smoker — kept for guests . 
But before she could discover where it had been moved , Elliot produced a slim silver case and offered it . 
" N-no , thank you . " 
The foolish stammer made her even more self-conscious . 
" My father says you are staying at the Saracen , Mr. Elliot . 
Is it comfortable ? 
The couple who run it now have only been there a short time . 
The hotel side is quite new . " 
He was flicking his black enamelled lighter and she noticed that his hands , mahogany dark against the pale cream cuffs of his shirt , were clinically clean , the nails pared short at the tips of his long lean fingers . 
His cuff-links were plain gold rectangles and he did not wear a signet ring . 
" Yes , extremely comfortable , thanks , " he answered quietly . 
" My room overlooks the village green . 
I am told that the stream running through the centre of it has quite a history . " 
"The Goose Beck ? 
Yes , it has . 
People used to do all their washing in it years ago . 
It widens into a pool up near the church . 
That 's where they ducked witches in the Middle Ages . " 
He drank some sherry , his eyes disconcertingly keen as he watched her . 
" I imagine you were not very pleased to hear I was coming tonight , " he remarked bluntly . 
Rachel swallowed , unable to meet his glance . 
" I think I should apologise for saying what I did to you this morning , " she said , flushing . 
" It was very rude of me . " 
"On the contrary , I found it refreshingly frank . 
You look very attractive when you are angry , " he added , with a hint of mockery . 
Then , glancing round the room : " Where is the Hound of the Baskervilles tonight ? " 
She stiffened . 
" Bolster is in the garden , " she said coolly , furious that the lazy , almost caressing note in his voice had succeeded in heightening her colour . 
" You know , I am beginning — " 
He broke off , rising to his feet as Miss Burney and Suzy entered . 
Rachel made the introductions and left her aunt to take over the conversation . 
She was pouring a sherry for Aunt Florence when the door swung open and Carola made one of her grand entrances . 
After contributing a couple of pounds to the family exchequer — some of which she invariably borrowed back before the end of the week — Carola spent all her earnings on clothes and cosmetics . 
Every Friday saw some addition to her wardrobe . 
If no dress , shoes , or handbag had appealed to her , then she would buy jewellery , make-up or nylons . 
To be up to the minute was as essential to Carola as eating or sleeping . 
She pored over fashion magazines with the same professional absorption that her father gave to his medical journals or Miss Burney to horoscopes . 
Tonight she was wearing her latest acquisition , a dress of misty blue-green chiffon with a sleeveless bloused bodice and a flurry of pleats from the waist . 
Her eyelids shimmered with silvery aquamarine shadow and her lipstick was a subtle amber-rose . 
She looked willowy and fragile and a delicious scent wafted from her as she moved . 
ELLIOT stood up , his eyebrows tilting appreciatively . 
A little put out by the interruption , Miss Burney said : 
"This is Carola , my second niece , Mr. Elliot . " 
Carola smiled and held out a small cool hand , her silver bracelets tinkling . 
" How do you do ? 
Welcome to England , Mr. Elliot , " she said charmingly . 
Then , with mischievous candour : " I must say you are not a bit what we expected . " 
He laughed . 
" What did you expect ? " 
Carola sank gracefully into a chair and crossed her legs , revealing so much knee that Aunt Florence , who disapproved of recent fashion trends , made anxious signals to her to pull her skirt down . 
" We were n't really expecting anyone at all after so long , " Carola said , ignoring the signs . 
" But you are not at all like your grandfather . 
He used to stump round the village with an enormous stick and growl at people through his moustache . " 
"I 'm sure he never growled at you . " 
Daniel looked amused . 
" Oh , yes , he did . 
I was terrified of him . " 
She gave a reminiscent shiver . 
Then , twirling imaginary whiskers , she did a very creditable imitation of Sir Robert 's deep bass voice . 
" Really , Carola ! 
I am surprised at you ! " 
Miss Burney protested indignantly , her long thin nose turning pink with mortification at this irreverent piece of mimicry . 
She looked apologetically at their guest . 
" Your grandfather was a most charming old gentleman , Mr. Elliot , and greatly respected , " she assured him earnestly . 
" I dare say he was milder than he looked , " he said carelessly . 
" I believe he made several attempts to patch things up with my father but none of them was successful . " 
"What did they have a row about ? " 
Carola asked . 
" Everyone knows there was a colossal bust-up , but no one knows why . " 
Before Elliot could reply , Doctor Burney came in and Rachel slipped away to put the finishing touches to the supper table . 
She took little part in the conversation during the meal , in the course of which it emerged that Daniel Elliot could pilot a plane , had travelled all over the world and had an informed taste in art , literature and music . 
By the time they had reached the coffee stage , it was sickeningly clear to Rachel that , far from being an uncouth product of the backwoods as she had supposed — and perhaps indicated by her manner to him — Daniel Elliot knew ten times more of the world than anyone she had met . 
" May I give you a hand with the washing up ? " he asked her , as they rose to return to the sitting-room . 
" Thank you , but I would really rather do it myself , " she said politely . 
" Rachel is the madly domesticated type . 
You would probably put everything back in the wrong place and then she would have to re-organise them . 
You hate things to be out of order , do n't you , sweetie ? " 
Carola said teasingly . 
Rachel smiled , wondering why a passion for tidiness always sounded such a petty , old-maidish foible . 
" I do a bit , " she admitted evenly . 
" I 'll make some more coffee . 
I wo n't be long . " 
SHE had just dried the last plate and was setting clean coffee cups on a tray , when a dark-haired , spectacled young man put his head through the kitchen window . 
" Coming for a walk , Rachel ? " he asked . 
" Oh , hello , Edward ! 
No , I ca n't tonight , " she said regretfully . 
" We have a visitor . 
Come in and pay your respects to the new lord of the manor . 
He is in the sitting-room with the others . " 
"Yes , I heard the prodigal grandson had finally turned up . " 
Edward came into the kitchen . 
" It 's all over the village . 
What is he like ? " 
"Quite pleasant , " Rachel said evasively , going to the pantry for more milk . 
Edward leaned against the dresser , watching her . 
He was tall and lanky , with a thin , clever face and slightly stooped shoulders . 
As a small boy he had never fitted into the rowdy gang of village lads and later , when he went to Branford Grammar School and walked away with most of the academic laurels , his friends had been similarly quiet and studious . 
Oddly , Rachel , then a pigtailed tomboy , had liked him better than the more boisterous youths . 
" I say , Rachel — " 
He broke off , fiddling with the strap of his wristwatch . 
" Mm , what ? " she asked , wishing the kettle would hurry up and boil . 
" I rather wanted to see you tonight . " 
"You sound very mysterious . 
What 's up ? " 
He hesitated . 
" Well , for one thing , I 've been promoted . " 
"Oh , Edward , how lovely ! 
Congratulations ! " 
He flushed . 
" It is pretty encouraging and , of course , my income will improve considerably . 
That is why I wanted you to be the first to know . " 
Rachel smiled at him . 
" I always knew you would do great things , " she said affectionately . 
And then , because it seemed the appropriate gesture and because she had known him for so long , she laid her hands lightly on his shoulders and reached up to kiss his cheek . 
Edward 's reaction was to clasp her eagerly round the waist and return the kiss so heartily that she was too much taken aback to do anything but submit . 
When , after a moment , he released her , she was too breathless and shaken to free herself and could only stand dazedly in the circle of his arms , trying to decide whether she had liked it . 
" Oh , Rachel , do n't you see , I can ask you to marry me now , " he said huskily . 
" You do care for me , dearest ? 
You will say " yes " ? " 
Rachel stared at him blankly . 
She had known for years that Edward was fond of her and that everyone assumed they would eventually marry . 
In a vague , wait-till-it-happens way , she had assumed it herself . 
But now that he had actually proposed , she discovered that she had no notion how to answer him . 
Although she was twenty-four , she still thought of marriage as something in the future . 
" I do n't know , Edward , " she answered lamely . 
" I 'm not sure . 
It 's all so — so sudden . " 
And then , as she searched for words to explain that she was touched and flattered , but that it was n't a question which could be settled in a split second , a movement in the doorway caught her eye and she turned her head , a wave of furious and embarrassed colour suffusing her face and throat . 
Calmly , his mouth twitching , his eyes brilliant with undisguised amusement , Daniel Elliot strolled forward . 
" I came to carry the tray for you , " he said politely . 
" I seem to have chosen an inopportune moment . " 
FOR what seemed an eternity , but was actually about fifteen seconds , there was a strained silence . 
Anyone with a skin thinner than a rhinoceros hide would have muttered an apology and hastily retreated , Rachel thought furiously . 
Across the Square HILTON FRIARS 
TOMMY BLANEY 'S nose was pressed flat against the shop window , his blue eyes gazing seriously through a wisp of fair hair which would keep falling across his eyes . 
He pushed his lower lip forward and blew the strands away again and , at the same time , stood back from the window and rubbed his hands together happily . 
His sister Margaret would look beautiful in that dress , he thought wistfully , just like he imagined an angel would look . 
His eyes lit up with excitement as he dug his hands deep into the pockets of his duffle coat . 
He would buy it for her . 
And then , as the feel of the twopence halfpenny which his fingers closed upon revealed the cold result of his financial position , his happy expression faded . 
He gave a manly little shrug and turned slowly away . 
How much was it , anyway , he asked himself miserably . 
A lot more than he had in his money box . 
He sidled back to the window and looked for the price . 
Fifteen guineas it said , plain as anything — that was paper money that was . 
He stood thoughtfully looking at the dress from the doorway of the shop . 
ON the other side of the square , Michael Price paused in his dictating and stared absently down through the window of his office on the first floor of Bank Buildings . 
Behind him , Stella Travis , a discontented-looking girl with a notebook balanced on her lap above shapely crossed legs , looked casually at her long silver-lacquered finger nails . 
She was fast coming to the conclusion that she was wasting her charms on this new boss of hers , who seemed to look upon her as a mere dictating machine . 
If he did n't get on with this letter she would be late for her lunch date , and what 's more she 'd tell him so shortly . 
Michael watched the little figure standing in front of the shop window and wondered what could possibly be attracting a small boy so much in a window displaying outfits for a bride and wedding guests . 
He remembered that in his own childhood he spent hours looking into a shop that sold meccano sets , but ladies ' shops never had any appeal for him . 
The child 's attitude intrigued him until he just could n't contain his curiosity any longer . 
He turned suddenly . 
" That 's all now , Miss Travis , thank you — we 'll leave the rest till after lunch , " and quickly gathering up his hat and gloves , he left the office . 
" What 's got him ? " 
Miss Travis wondered , her curiosity taking her to the window . 
She saw Michael cross the square and stop in front of the shop window that had attracted Tommy , who had just disappeared round the corner . 
Michael scrutinised the window display in the hope of discovering what had so held the child 's attention . 
Surely it could n't have been the dresses . 
What a lovely creation in lace that was in the centre . 
He supposed it would be accompanying some lucky fellow down the church aisle soon . 
A little disappointed at not having his curiosity satisfied , he turned away and almost collided with Stella Travis . 
" Pretty , is n't it ? " she purred , as he raised his hat in some embarrassment . 
" Some lucky girl , " she pouted , and looked at him coyly . 
" Er-er-yes . 
I was just admiring the lace — quite a change from the usual woollens we see at the office , " he stammered clumsily . 
Why did Miss Travis always make him feel such an idiot — she was so poised and self-assured . 
She made no attempt to move away and he said firmly , " Well , I must n't keep you from your lunch , " and quickly left her . 
Stella Travis was , however , far too thick-skinned to take that as a rebuff . 
THE next day as Michael sat in his office his mind wandered to that earnest little boy he had seen across the square the previous day . 
The ordeal of dictation with Miss Travis was over for the morning , thank goodness . 
Yesterday 's encounter outside the shop seemed to have given her ideas and she had been casting coy glances at him all the morning . 
It was no good . 
He would have to get her transferred . 
She was far too much of an embarrassment for him . 
He would speak to the secretary about it . 
He went to the window and immediately forgot his problem typist when he saw the little boy outside the shop again . 
Tommy bent to take a ruler from the top of his stocking , held it at arm 's length and surveyed the length of it . 
Then , with one eye closed , he tried to measure how many times it would go into the length of the bride 's dress . 
He did this several times , much to the amusement of passers by , of whom Tommy was quite oblivious . 
Michael 's eyes softened as he recalled his own childhood . 
He had good reason to be grateful to St. Edward 's Orphanage for the opportunities which they had made available to him and which consequently led to the good position he now held in his firm . 
Little boys , therefore , always had a very special interest for him . 
He was out of his office and across the road at Tommy 's side in next to no time at all . 
TOMMY was far too busy with his measuring to notice Michael , who could n't help smiling at his serious little face . 
He put an arm gently on Tommy 's shoulder . 
" Who 's the lucky girl ? " he asked seriously . 
Tommy answered excitedly , " My sister Margaret ... 
I 've measured — it 's just right for her — it 's as long as her nighty " . 
Michael stifled a laugh and adopted a man-to-man attitude . 
" Does your sister want that dress ? " 
"She 'd look beautiful in it , " Tommy said dreamily . 
Michael tried again . 
" Is she getting married ? " 
"She will be soon , and I want her to have that lovely dress . 
It 's just like the one she told my little sister and me about in a story where the prince came from far , far away on a big ship . 
Margaret said she would like a dress like that when she married her prince . 
My sister 's the best sister in the world , " he finished proudly , putting the ruler back in his stocking . 
" Have you any money ? " 
Michael asked him . 
" How much is fifteen guineas really ? 
I 've got 12s. 7 1/2d. in my money box and I 've got a super butterfly collection I could sell . 
My dad said it was worth a lot of money . " 
"Would n't your dad buy the dress for Margaret ? " 
Michael asked helpfully . 
" We have n't got a dad — or a mum , now , mister . 
They got burned when our house caught fire , " he said , almost without expression . 
" That 's why I want to get the dress for Margaret — she looks after Tina and me , and she 's beautiful and kind " . 
Tommy looked at the clock in the nearby church . 
" Ooh , it 's late — I 'll have to be going home for my dinner or I 'll be late back for school " . 
MICHAEL was too interested now to leave Tommy . 
" I 'm going your way " . 
He took Tommy 's direction . 
" I 'll see you across the road ... 
Where is your school ? " he asked . 
" In Bridge Street " . 
Tommy indicated the direction with a nod . 
" Just behind the station " . 
Michael remembered seeing a small school near several rows of houses . 
He supposed it was probably the only school in the centre of the city . 
Tommy pointed to a tall , important-looking building rising high above the other blocks of buildings . 
" See right at the top , mister , where the curtains are — that 's where we live . 
My Grandpa is the caretaker and Margaret and Tina and me came to live there after our house got burned . 
Margaret helps Grandpa now 'cos Grandma 's ill but she 's going to get a job soon " . 
He paused to consider and then chatted on . 
" It 's nice living high up — you can see all over the town , and we can hear the big burr of the Town Hall clock when it 's going to strike " . 
He burred several times in demonstration . 
Michael thought how quiet and lonely it must be at night living at the top of one of these buildings , when all the office workers had left the city and were spending their leisure hours at home in the suburbs . 
" How does it feel going to bed so high up ? " 
"Oh , it 's nice ... " 
Tommy smiled up at Michael . 
" Every night Tina and me sit by the window looking down on all the twinkling lights while Margaret tells us a story . 
It 's quiet and beautiful , Mister " . 
" Just like being on a ship at night , I expect , " Michael said , " with the twinkling stars to light up the dark sky " . 
Tommy 's eyes shone . 
" Have you been on a ship then ? " 
"Yes , I sailed back from South Africa a few months ago " . 
Tommy showed his admiration . 
" You would love to see the animals in the Game Preserve there , I know " . 
" Sounds smashing " . 
They turned a corner and Tommy pointed to an imposing looking entrance across the road . 
" That 's where we live , " he said , and turned to wave goodbye as he crossed into the roadway . 
There was a screeching of brakes and a shout and Michael was just in time to snatch a white-faced Tommy back on to the pavement , the car just grazing his leg . 
" Are you all right ? " 
Michael 's face was full of anxiety for the frightened child . 
The colour had drained from his face . 
Michael gently steered him across the road . 
" I 'll take you home , " he comforted . 
Tommy had obviously had a nasty shock and Michael was just wondering what to do with him when a young girl came hurrying down the steps , her face flushed and her fair curls bobbing as she ran . 
Tenderly she placed her arms round Tommy . 
" Oh , poor Tommy , are you hurt , are you hurt ? " she cried . 
" You did n't look both ways before crossing the road like you promised . 
I saw you through the window " . 
All her thoughts were for Tommy as she looked him over for hurts , and comforted him with loving words . 
" Oh , Tommy , nothing must happen to you , " she whispered as she clutched him to her , quite oblivious of Michael . 
She 's little more than a child herself , Michael thought , and could n't help staring . 
Her dark eyelashes lay damp and shining on her cheeks . 
She smiled then and opened her eyes — blue as the sea on a cloudless day . 
" Come along , Tommy , " she said , " Come and show Grandpa you 're all right . " 
It was then that she noticed Michael . 
" Oh , I 'm so rude . 
I thought only of Tommy . 
Thank you for saving him from a nasty accident , " she said shyly , her eyes full of gratitude . 
Her arm round Tommy , they went up the steps together . 
Michael stood for a moment feeling useless and very much the passer-by . 
The warmth and affection showered on young Tommy by the girl , who was obviously sister Margaret , brought home to Michael the absence of family affection in his childhood . 
He thoughtfully walked away . 
MICHAEL looked out of his office window very often after that and wondered whether he would see Tommy again , but several days went by without even a glimpse of him . 
Miss Travis constantly followed Michael 's gaze and once she asked him if he was looking for anyone special . 
She knew now that she was being moved to another department , and as she did not seem to be making any headway personally with Michael she did n't mind , in fact the sooner the better and more luck next time was her motto . 
She had been told she would not be transferred until they got someone to take her place . 
" I see that dress has gone from the window over the way , " she remarked pointedly , " the lace wedding gown , I mean ... the one you were looking at a few days ago ... " 
"Oh that — I expect you 'll be thinking of having one like that , " he said , with an attempt at laughing it off . 
He found it easier to evade her advances now that he knew that she was being transferred . 
" One of your many young men will be sweeping you off your feet , one of these days , " he went on provocatively , " Better mind your step " . 
A GIRL ON HER OWN 
" QUEEN STREET at last , " sighed the plump woman as the train slackened speed . 
" What a time it 's taken to reach Glasgow ! " 
Morag Baxter gave her a surprised smile . 
She had not found the journey from Oban long or tedious . 
There had been so much to see . 
So much to think about . 
She had scarcely glanced at the magazines she had bought . 
Morag looked eagerly out of the window as the train drew into the station . 
She was excited but tried not to show it . 
After ten years , nearly half her lifetime , she was back in Glasgow . 
In a way she was returning home . 
No one would ever have taken Morag Baxter for a Glaswegian . 
There was a fresh country bloom in her cheeks and she spoke with an attractive Highland lilt . 
But for all that she felt she truly belonged to this great sprawling city . 
As an orphaned ward of Glasgow Corporation , she had spent the first eleven years of her life in the city . 
But Beechwood Children 's Home , which had run on oiled wheels under Miss Simpson 's motherly guidance , seemed like a dream now . 
Infinitely more real were the years she had spent in the north , eight of them boarding out on the Robertsons ' farm and the last two living in digs in Oban . 
Morag 's eyes clouded as she thought about these past two years . 
Nothing had been the same since Mrs Robertson died . 
Though time had softened Morag 's grief , it had not helped her overcome the strange emptiness in her heart . 
It was as if her roots had been cut off . 
Although she had a good job , she felt Oban held nothing for her . 
It was n't long before she began to think about Glasgow with a certain longing . 
After all , that was where she really belonged . 
So this year she had decided to spend her fortnight 's holiday in the city . 
Miss Simpson , now retired from her post at Beechwood Home , had fixed up accommodation and promised to meet her at the station when she arrived . 
Everything was arranged . 
As the train jerked to a halt and she joined the throng of passengers on the platform , Morag felt a thrill of anticipation . 
She had saved up for a long time for this holiday and she meant to enjoy every minute of it . 
" Morag , my dear ! " 
Miss Simpson , white-haired now and trim in silver-grey , met her at the barrier . 
" How nice you 're looking ! 
And so grown-up ! " 
"It 's a while since you saw me last , " the girl reminded her smilingly . 
" Almost two years . " 
Miss Simpson laid her hand lightly on Morag 's arm to guide her from the station . 
" Come along and we 'll have a cup of tea before I take you to Grove House and hand you over to Miss Whelan . " 
"Hand me over ? " 
Morag was faintly alarmed . 
" Is it a hostel ? " 
"Of course not ! " 
The older woman 's eyes were twinkling . 
" Grove House is an excellent hotel for young business women . 
Miss Whelan 's an old friend of mine , so I 've asked her to keep an eye on you . " 
She sighed as they paused at the kerb . 
" If only you could have come earlier I could have put you up at my flat . 
As it is , the removal men are coming on Monday and my sister expects me at Girvan . " 
Over tea in Fuller 's Morag talked gaily about her plans . 
Miss Simpson smiled at her enthusiasm . 
It was a pleasure to meet her one-time charge again . 
She was only sorry she would not see more of her on this visit . 
Time passed so quickly . 
She could hardly believe it was twenty-one years since Morag had been placed in her charge at Beechwood Home . 
Only five months old , and tragically bereft of both parents . 
Although extensive inquiries were made at the time no trace was found of any relatives . 
Miss Simpson had taken the child to her heart . 
She had watched her grow into a likeable , happy little girl . 
It had been like losing someone of her own when the Welfare Committee decided to board Morag out with foster-parents in the north . 
It had all been for the best , of course . 
A home where she could become one of the family was better than the best institution . 
Mrs Robertson already had two orphaned children in her care at Balamore Farm , near Oban , and Morag made a welcome addition to the family . 
She had settled down happily at the farm . 
Her schooling over , she found a job in an Oban shop . 
Later , when Mrs Robertson felt less able to cope with three charges , Alison and Johnny Pedon returned to Glasgow . 
But Morag chose to remain in the north . 
She was nineteen when Mrs Robertson died . 
Miss Simpson had travelled from Glasgow to talk over her future with Mr Robertson and the local Welfare Officer . 
Agreeing that Morag should stay in Oban , they had found suitable lodgings for her in the town . 
Mr Robertson himself was giving up the farm and retiring to a cottage he had bought in Gairloch . 
It had seemed a wise decision at the time . 
Morag , bewildered and unhappy by this sudden change in the even tenor of her life , had raised no objections . 
But within the past year Miss Simpson fancied she detected a restless note in her letters . 
Now Morag had come to Glasgow for a holiday . 
Miss Simpson studied the girl seated across the table from her in the busy tea room . 
In the years since they had last met she had grown into a charming young woman , with attractive , auburn hair and wide , gold-flecked grey eyes . 
" I wish I were n't leaving you here on your own , my dear . " 
Miss Simpson sounded anxious . 
" Wo n't you be lonely ? " 
"I do n't think so , " Morag replied . 
" Not more than anywhere else , " she added after a moment 's pause . 
Miss Simpson glanced shrewdly at the girl . 
So she had been right . 
Morag was unhappy in Oban . 
" I wrote to Mrs Hendry and she 's asked me out to Mosspark , " Morag went on , clearly trying to change the subject . 
" Is n't it kind of her ? 
I — I 'll never forget all she did for me long ago . 
Then I 'd like to go to all the theatres and look round the shops . 
I 've got enough money for a completely new outfit and — " 
"You will need a full purse ! " 
Miss Simpson laughed . 
" Have a good time then , dear . 
If you feel at a loose end after this week , you can always spend a few days with us at Girvan . " 
It was nearly five o'clock when they arrived at Grove House . 
It was a large , rambling building on a corner site in Queen 's Drive , overlooking the park . 
Miss Whelan was a tall , fresh-complexioned woman . 
There was a glint of humour in her eyes that seemed to belie her rather forbidding manner . 
" Just in time for tea , Miss Baxter , " she remarked . 
" We have it early on Saturdays because the girls are always in a hurry to go out . 
Would you like to take your case to your room right away ? " 
Morag gave Miss Simpson a parting hug and promised to have lunch with her at her flat next day . 
Then she followed the maid upstairs . 
She was delighted with her room , eyeing with approval the built-in cupboards and the small wash basin that stood in one corner . 
The carpet was a delicate shade of blue , and the flowered curtains matched the bedspread . 
The tea-bell rang before Morag had time to change . 
She ran a comb through her hair , applied some fresh lipstick , and went downstairs . 
Miss Whelan took her along to the dining-room and introduced her to a slim , dark-haired girl at a corner table . 
" Miss Johnston has been here more than a year now , " she explained . 
" She 'll soon make you feel at home . " 
Morag smiled hesitantly as she sat down , searching her mind for some way of starting a conversation . 
She need not have worried , for Kathy Johnston was refreshingly free from shyness . 
Within minutes she found out Morag was on holiday and went on to suggest what she should do and see in town . 
She broke off as they were joined by a slightly older girl with fluffy fairish hair and winged glasses that gave her an attractive , fawn-like appearance . 
" This is Jean MacLean , " said Kathy by way of introduction . 
" Morag Baxter comes from Oban , Jean . 
She 's only here for a fortnight and — " 
" Give the poor girl a chance to get a word in ! " 
Jean laughed . 
" Hullo , Morag ! 
Nice to meet you ! " 
Morag enjoyed the company of these two pleasant , friendly girls . 
She learned that Jean worked in a lawyer 's office and was engaged to a young doctor doing his final year in hospital . 
Kathy Johnston was training as a junior buyer in Sturrock 's , a large department store , and cheerfully admitted to having several boy friends . 
Both girls belonged out of town and only managed to visit their families occasionally at week-ends . 
Morag found her own reserve crumbling . 
Before the meal ended she had told her new friends a good deal about herself . 
Kathy 's eyes widened sympathetically and she exchanged a glance with Jean . 
" Oban 's a lovely place , of course , " she said slowly . 
" But do n't you find it a bit lonely — especially in the winter ? " 
"Well , I did n't until just lately , " Morag replied , colouring a little . 
" And I do n't have to stay there , you know . " 
Kathy gave her a questioning glance , but made no comment . 
Presently she and Jean took Morag into the lounge and told her about Grove House . 
" It 's better than coping on your own in some flatlet , " Jean said emphatically . 
" You get decent meals and there are no dishes to wash afterwards . 
All you 've got to do is pay your dues , keep your room tidy , and be back indoors at a reasonable hour . 
I reckon it 's worth it . " 
"Miss Whelan 's a dear too , " Kathy put in . 
" Even if she does like to see all your boy friends ! " 
The door opened just then and some of the other residents came into the lounge . 
Morag glanced casually at them , then her gaze was riveted on the last one to enter — a tall , blonde girl in a black tailored suit . 
She stared uncertainly for a moment , then almost unbelievingly as recognition dawned in her eyes . 
" Alison ! " 
Her exclamation made the other girl turn sharply . 
" I — I 've wondered so often if we 'd ever meet again , " Morag went on . 
" That 's more than I ever did ! " 
Alison Pedon told her , colouring guiltily as she spoke . 
" Do you two know each other ? " 
Kathy asked . 
" Oh , yes . " 
Alison pulled herself together and managed a cool smile . 
" We met several years ago when I was staying in Oban . 
What on earth are you doing here , Morag ? " 
"I 'm on holiday . " 
Morag was puzzled . 
Staying in Oban ? 
Why , Alison and her younger brother , John , had lived with her at the Robertsons ' farm for over six years ! 
" I see . " 
Alison shrugged indifferently . 
" Well , I hope you enjoy yourself . 
Now you must excuse me . 
I 'm expecting a phone call . " 
She turned on her heel and left the room . 
Somewhat disturbed Morag sat down . 
It was painfully obvious that her former companion was anything but pleased to see her . 
" Strange you should know Alison , " Kathy remarked , breaking the awkward silence . 
" I suppose you met her at her folk 's hotel in Oban ? " 
Morag swallowed uneasily . 
Whatever had Alison been telling everyone ? 
Fortunately Jean hailed a friend at that moment and she was not called upon to answer Kathy . 
Then someone switched on the television and she took the chance to go upstairs to unpack . 
She had only been in her room a few moments when there was a knock on the door . 
It was Alison Pedon , her fine eyebrows drawn and her eyes fixed on Morag accusingly . 
" Why did you come here ? " she demanded as she brushed past Morag and came into the room . 
" To Grove House of all places ! " 
Bridging The Years 
MORAG shut the door . 
She had been embarrassed by Alison 's rudeness a short time ago .