#
Right , I'll go and get a video , okay ? #
Alright . #
Right . #
Do you want the telly on ? #
Ah ? #
Where's his chair ? #
Oh yeah ! #
That's your brother ! #
Mummy wants to move the . #
Please ? #
I ca oh ! #
Yeah , I see . #
Put it back ! #
Good girl ! #
Yeah . #
Good girl ! #
No , it's just the #
Get up ! #
Can you hold him up a minute . #
Yeah , and I was trying to do it up . #
No , no , no , just leave it ! #
That's it . #
He's funny ain't he ? #
Ooh my head's gone ! #
Ah ! #
My headache's gone isn't it ? #
Bacon . #
I'll collect #
Yep ! #
You having tea ? #
But , oh . #
No ? #
No ? #
Ooh ! #
No ? #

Did you ? #
Did you ? #
Vicki ! #
Yes ! #
Daddy said yes . #
Ha ! #
How much do you want in ? #
Shall I add all that round the side which went all hard ? #
It's not the only thing that goes hard you know ! #
Your #
You'll #
Oh yeah ? #
We try and #
Well she's going round to Mum and Dad's . #
Vicki ! #
Come on ! #
Come on ! #
Do you want the rest of your crisps ? #
No ? #
What do you want , a glass of lemon ? #
Or lemonade ? #
Come on then ! #

It's alright . #
Yes . #
Vicki ! #
Lemon ? #
Or ? #
Yeah ! #
Want this ? #
There we go ! #
Then to go where they are , yeah ? #
Coffee ? #
What's that ? #
Can I put the water on ? #
I've done the washing . #
Daddy take you ? #
Daddy take you after tea ? #
He don't come down there now does he ? #
He doesn't come down there . #
Did you have a card ? #
She said this morning . #
Yeah . #
Birthday card ? #
Which one . #
Mm mm . #
With the bell in it ? #
Is it up there ? #
We will be seeing her , seeing , we're going out aren't we , in a couple of weeks time ? #
What day is it ? #
Oh your Dad said he'd be alright to stay here . #
Your Dad . #
Oh I think so , yeah . #
No ! #
It's too much innit ? #
Or your Mum ? #
Well they're not for another two or three weeks ! #
It's . #
Started the kitchen . #
Yeah . #
Try it first bottle . #
Yep ! #
Is this ready for wash ? #
Are they ? #
Ah yeah ! #
He might pop round tonight . #
Is he drinking that ? #
Yes . #
Coffee madam ! #
Mm ! #
I've got some #
Put it there look . #
Yeah certainly ! #
I'll let you finish your fags . #
Well I dunno where #
you wanna put it ! #
Can I put me slippers on ? #
What's that ? #
? #
Those miniature books , ? #
Sounds dirty ! #
Hello mate ! #
Ooh ! #
Oops ! #
And Daddy . #
Daddy's got boots . #
She can't answer it ! #
You kick with a ball , that's right ! #
What's that Vick ? #
And what do you do in a car ? #
Go out ? #
And how's a cow #
go ? #
Moo ! #
Good girl ! #
No ! #
Ang . #
And Uncle ? #
Uncle ? #
Phil's . #

As Aunty Pam would say there's Mummy's coronations ! #
She has to say coronations ! #
She can't say carnations ! #
Girl . #
You got your pop-ons . #
Good boy ! #
You want pudding ? #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ! #
Good boy ! #
Bu #
Good boy ! #
Is that better ? #
Tickle ickle ickle ickle ickle ! #
Tickle ickle ickle ickle ickle ickle ick ! #
What's that ? #

Yeah . #
Pardon me ! #
His eye looks sore . #
And ? #
No ! . #
Mummy . #
Mummy bought it for Daddy really ! #
Oops ! #
Was that funny ? #
Was that funny ? #
Jimmy was gonna let him know . #
He said gonna try and last up to , I said well I've gotta go so I'll see how I go but I was shaking I just couldn't ! #
She give me some T C P pastilles . #
Dad give me wha what he had in his truck as well . #
They are . #
Mm . #
Had a sore throat for a couple of days ! #
But it's not just the sore throat , it's when I cough it hurts all over . #
Oh yeah ! #
Yeah . #
Shall I get her to get them tomorrow ? #
Shall I ask her to get #
them tomorrow ? #
Mm mm . #
Daddy take you for a bath ? #
Not yet though . #
We'll have so some tea first . #
Put the fire back on again soon . #
No , leave #
I've gone cold again ! #
Mummy . #
Look cold his hands are closed . #
Oh ain't you ? #
Ooh what a smile ! #
Smile for Daddy . #
Can you smile for your Daddy ? #
Can you smile for your Daddy ? #
Oh Vicki ! #
Hmm ! #
Oh dear ! #
Sounded like Mummy ! #
Mm ! #
You smell ! #
He can have one tonight as well , yeah . #
Shall we get some sausages out then darling ? #
I'll do it for you my love ! #
How many #
do you want ? #
Aren't we having #
We gotta put them in the deep fat fryer . #
I dunno , it's up to you . #
It's just as easy innit ? #
Get them all in one go then . #
Yeah . #
Get them all in in one go . #
I've left the lot out . #
You want five do you ? #
It's up to you , what do you wanna do ? #
Wanna get the deep fat fryer out or not ? #
No , okay #
then . #
Put them on a plate , right ? #
That's twelve out , okay ? #
Well I'll have a bit of bacon as well . #
There's not a lot of bacon . #
Can you get some tomorrow ? #
Well taken a lot . #
Don't get them same time will you ? #
You won't ke get all them under the grill as well as the bacon . #
Mm . #
Will you ? #
Eh ? #
Thought that was Dad then , but it's not he's at work . #
No Vicki ! #
You won't get all them #
under the grill will you ? #
As well as the bacon ? #
Do the bacon with the in the erm frying pan . #
Shall I whack it under the grill now ? #
Think we eggs ?weren't they ? #
We'll leave it . #
It's okay . #
Give it Daddy darling . #
Give it to Daddy . #
No , give it to Daddy . #
Give it Daddy . #
No , give it Daddy ! #
Here are , Daddy take it out in the kitchen . #
No ? #
Oops ! #
Will I do tea ? #
No , nothing like that . #
Right , Daddy do it ? #
There you go ! #
Shall I give your brother a kiss cos you sat on him ? #
Sorry ! #
Good girl ! #
Where you going now ? #
Come back here . #
Come back here ! #
What you looking at ? #
What have you seen ? #
No , no , no , no , no , no ! #
Vicki ! #
Vicki ! #
I was gonna clean my tank tonight Jean but I suppose that's #
Mm ? #
Don't kick Mummy darling ? #
It does need cleaning , ! #
Peepbo ! #
Peepbo ! #
Yeah don't touch that ! #
It's not ours ! #
A lot of money that ! #
Mm . #
Is she gone ? #
Have a look see if she's gone . #
Mm ! #
Mind you don't fall ! #
Has she gone ? #
Er , a lady . #
Oops ! #
You alright ? #
Ooh ooh ooh ! #
Ooh ooh , what have you done ? #
Nearly fell didn't you ? #
You watch you don't fall ! #
Big words ? #
Could be anything at all . #
H L T #
Mhm . #
Mm . #
Is this how you what as he got #
little glasses . #

! #
Yum yum ! #
Cor ! #
Put him down ! #
Gently ! #
Is that all the way round ? #
Okay . #
Ooh dear ! #
Where's your dummy ? #
Have you sat on your dummy ? #
Yeah . #
I put it in ! #
. #
No not with Mummy darling . #
Where's Mummy going ? #
Where ? #
Going to the toilet . #
No , you stay here with Daddy . #
Boing , boing , boing , boing , boing , boing , boing , boing , boing , boing , boing , boing , boing ! #
Oh ! #
Bang ! #
You alright ? #
Eh ? #
Put it together then . #
Put him together . #
Put together . #
Watch you don't fall ! #
Oops ! #
Sorry ? #
No it's not a potty . #
There's your potty under there . #
But Mummy's gonna change you in a minute . #
That's it ! #
Gently ! #
Just do it gently like that . #
That's it , press , that's it ! #
That'll do nicely won't it ? #
That's nice innit ? #
Yeah ! #
That's it now , no , no harder . #
gentle my love . #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ooh ooh ! #
Gently Vicki ! #
What's on tonight ? #
What do we dance to ? #
Top of the Pops ! #
You and Daddy dance ? #
Yeah ? #
Tonight , bop ? #
You bopping ? #
Are we gonna bop ? #
Yeah ! #
We do don't we ? #
And who was on last night ? #
Boxing . #
Can you box ? #
Yeah ! #
No , not on your brother ! #
Not on your brother I said ! #
No ! #
Not on your brother ! #
Leave him alone ! #
Box with Daddy don't you ? #
Yeah ! #
Are you alright Jean ? #
Who's this coming ? #
Do do do do dee do ! #
The lady . #
Ah , ah ah ! #
Yeah okay . #
Looks like it . #
Mm . #
Yeah . #
put on with it . #
She wants changing first . #
Oh oh oh oh ! #
Put the fire back on eh ? #
I've gone cold ! #
Mm . #
Yeah . #
I'll do it now . #
Oh ! #
Yeah . #
Yeah . #
Fifteen bits and then #
Yeah . #
Oh ! #
No , leave the sound ! #
You can listen to it without the sound . #
Ha ! #
This ! #
Yeah . #
Yeah not bad for trainers as well in't they ? #
Normal #
normal trainers but they just got spikes in them . #
Seventy , about seventy five pound a pair ! #
Well yeah , we had a #
They had a bit of bad luck they reckon it was #
And leave them , leave with them #
don't they ? #
What's that ? #
Oh Malcolm does like turkey so we'll have turkey tomorrow . #
You not getting them and all ? #
What about you ? #
Vicki ! #
Stop pulling her hair ! #
Terrible ! #
Them two ! #
Pulling hair ! #
oi ! #
Take this take this #
Come here ! #
Yeah . #
First leg look . #
That's from #
This is fixing it innit ? #
Aha . #
Come on ! #
Erm I'd like to see whoever wins this . #
What , whichever gonna get mi , if somebody , they get a medal don't they ? #
Cos there's only three lots been down in't there ? #
Oh well the French . #
then aren't they ? #
Can't go any higher . #
Stu , they'll go down now look , you watch ! #
Oh , they're second ! #
That's . #
Mm . #
Seventy six . #
Wait ! #
They're getting slower ! #
Which one's that of ours ? #
The second England soon innit ? #
the first . #
Well they ain't gonna stay there long ! #
We got all the big blokes to come yet ! #
They got Vanden #
What's his name ? #
Popoloff , no what's his name ? #
Hopa . #
They got bars up their sleeves in't they ? #
The Hopa's of Germany . #
A slip . #
Oh well it should be fun now , Kirsty ! #
Tell . #
they plenty of ti , they got plenty #
It won't be all Kirsty now , they're in one already ! #
Germany . #
Well di , did Andy want a boy ? #
No , he wanted a boy . #
He wanted a boy ! #
I done , was having . #
Cos she was something one night , well said yeah that she wants more than , he wants more than two . #
he'd have a #
Vicki ! #
Gently ! #
I know you ! #
Be nice ! #
Vicki ! #
oi ! #
Disgusting innit ! #
Come here ! #
It's her ! #
What is it about hair ? #
She did ! oi ! #
Gently ! #
Well let go then ! #
Give it back to Stephanie nicely ! #
Come over here ! #
Fifty eight point #
Take fifty three . #
That's three in one is it ? #
Three in one . #
Three in two . #
I got three in one to come yet ! #
Banda ! #
And they Hopa yet ,for Germany . #
Yeah but is that Canada one or Canada ? #
Yeah ? #
I've been up the bath . #
Cos I'm listening to the kids . #
I dunno . #
Is the guy with this ? #
No , this is a Swede ! #
Bander . #
No . #
They've already won a two man bobsleigh . #
Well yeah but that's life innit ? #
The #
They're having fucking ! #
The course was crap ! #
Which one ? #
But they keep it . #
They keep the lead #
don't they ? #
And they don't . #
He's harmless thought ain't he ? #
But he won't do them now ! #
Not only that , if you paid thirty pound you could go down there couldn't you ? #
Ah . #
Ah . #
But the thing is you won't #
Right ! #
He's got hasn't he ? #
That one's nice over by there cos it's got the long hair . #
Yep ! #
I knocked out by four . #
Germans . #
Where's she's going to ? #
Where's she going ? #
said so . #
Did you tell her we'll wait here ? #
Think so . #
Crap ! #
It wasn't me last night ! #
That's crap ! #
Then I do normally watch it with you . #
You didn't watch it last night . #
Your lying again #
again to me ! #
Well that's nothing to do with me ! #
You can't blame me #
then can you ? #
Can't blame me for that ! #
Who ? #
Cake ? #
No ! #
You didn't you get ? #

Yeah but #
when you're thinking about it it's not even a second out . #
Ooh yes ! #
If she finds out . #
What ? #
Yeah . #
Twice you've just I'm watching you two ! #
You mean what I said #
After calling me a bastard and all this now #

Ah ! #
You love them really don't you ? #
Oh yeah ! #
Yeah . #
Put it back ! #
Listen no wonder he's world champion he can go afford to skiing , his dad's a multi-millionaire ! #
He's loaded ain't he ? #
Yeah . #
But she hasn't got a helicopter . #
That's alright . #
You'll have to off to do something like that , communal #
Anyway #

Ooh ! #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ! #
No ! #
Yeah they're just showing some of the mistakes as well the windy down . #
Ooh ! #
Here comes the #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ! #
Ooh ! #
He's gonna do the sound effects ! #
Down down and out . #
No , no . #
Yeah , he's alright . #
Oh a big miss of that gear though innit ? #

You love it really don't you ? #
The hole in the head , ain't you ? #
Who ? #
What thing ? #
Yeah , but yeah I do say so ! #
Oh that's alright then . #
You'll get this and nothing more ! #
Well I'd better go and get changed hadn't I ? #
Shall I go and have a wash now ? #
We're ready then ? #
We're ready ! #
Ready ? #
So we'll see you later ! #
We'll be about #
Oh yeah ! #
Yeah . #
Right ! #
Kick arse ! #
We're gonna kick arse ! #
Who's first then ? #
Dot with , go fir don't we ? #
Yeah . #
Can I borrow your ashtray ? #
Are you two keeping the ashtray ? #
Ooh pardon me ! #
Right . #
What we doing then ? #
He had it going for a while . #
I'll keep my eye on it . #
Yeah . #
Yeah , cos I su #
scrubbed out all the erm the bath antics and all that ! #
Couldn't hear nothing for splashing ! #
Your leg ke kept #
knocking against the side of the bath . #
I'm the ca , I'm the boat , yeah , King rat ! #
Oh the #
Trouble is our bath Ju it's not big enough we'll get a bigger bath #
won't we ? #
Mm . #
Dunno . #
No ! #
No ! #
Do you ? #
Is this for highest score ? #
Have you been ? #
Well , he's going that way ain't he ? #
He's cocked it up ! #
Don't matter well #
No he's his counts as four . #
Seven . #
Right . #
Going clo , clockwise ? #
That's right ! #
So , you were doing it right you prat ! #
Mm . #
Four . #
Oh #
yes ! #
Right ! #
Going that way now ? #
Have I got , I'm going that way . #
Clockwise ! #
No , I'd have said clockwise . #
Right here we go then ! #
Stop the chit-chat ! #
Let's go for it ! #
Seven . #
Gift from dad , collect a hundred pound . #
What did you say ? #
Yeah ? #
That's right ! #
Before you can go up . #
That's right ! #
Unless you land on #
Well it says the No ! #
Don't matter ! #
You do it as you says don't you ? #
Yeah , but that's why we done it though weren't it ? #
Or didn't you wanna do it like that ? #
I don't mind ! #
Well you lot make #
Up to you ! #
Still takes a while though dunnit ? #
Cos you keep going round ! #
Fifty thousand . #
Just pass . #
That's right ! #
Yeah all board #
games innit . #
Same with Monopoly or #
Mm . #
What's that ? #
Mm . #
A , yeah you gotta say you're going up . #
You say yo #
I'm going to the higher class or whatever #
it is . #
No . #
No I'm not , no it's not that I'm thinking of . #
Ten . #
What's that ? #
Nothing exciting ! #
Lot of score draws in that weren't there ? #
Lot of no fo #
Lot of no-score draws weren't there ? #
What's that ? #
That's right , you can only do a pair or something . #
Is this your pairs ? #
Well what yo , it's up to you innit ? #
Yeah , we used to , yeah . #
Go for it ! #
Get three attempts don't you ? #
Nine . #
Whoa ! #
Does dunnit ? #
Do you remember ? #
Seven . #
No that's only #
What's that one say ? #
Yeah , you ain't gone past it yet . #
Don't matter ! #
Like there , #
Then you try and get you see . #
Nine . #
What's that ? #
From the wedding you can go straight up can't you ? #
Pardon me ! #
Four . #
What's that ? #
Collect #
Yeah I heard about this . #
Yeah , the other week #
weren't it ? #
And they shared it #
between them weren't it ? #
No ! #
We'll have to arrange that Phil . #
Eight . #
Want some more ? #
This lovely ! #
That good is it ? #
Still ice in there as well , you might as well have them ! #
Go on then ! #
Somebody's died see ! #
Somebody's died , that's why ! #
My go ? #
Yeah you miss your next go ! #
Graduation day Phil . #
Mm . #
We could all buy now couldn't we ? #
Eight . #
Olive's Jewellery . #
Quartz watch , a hundred pound . #
Hire purchase is twenty . #
Need that first . #
Nothing ! #
All you gotta do , you gotta get from there to there to there and the one who gets there and gets a hundred thousand or whatever it is innit ? #
Oh ! #
Fifty thousand . #
They win ! #
Is it fifty thousand ? #
Yeah , it's enough innit ? , mm mm mm #
mm mm mm mm mm mm mm . #
Black's Art Gallery , I'll buy it ! #
Yeah , whatever ! #
What is it , twenty innit ? #
So it is ! #
No ! . #
Twenty times ? #
You've had that all time though Ju , ain't you ? #
Low scores when you come on that one . #
It's up to you what you put in on the sto , stock exchange . #
You don't choose a number ? #
That's right ! #
You know how to do this girls ? #
What do you wanna do ? #
Do you want me to go again ? #
No . #
He can ,yo can , you get three goes at it . #
You can , you ca you #
You got three goes . #
And it's up to you . #
Do you wanna go on #
and see if I can get higher #
for you ? #
Six . #
I got six . #
Nine ! #
Plus . #
My go next . #
Twat dice ! #

Not very good ! #
But though is it ? #
What's that ? #
I went . #
Change this . #
Cos I'll have a #
Plus five . #
Another there's another five . #
None ! #
In case ? #
I've gotta get my two hundred first #
haven't I ? #
Oh did you ? #
Aye I just give you #
five so how can you #
give me two hundred ? #
Ah ! #
Ha , ha ha ! #
Honest Phil , yeah ! #
Oh aye ! #
I know you ! #
And you give five ! #
They're trying it on again ! #
Aha . #
I like you ! #
I've been round once more than you ? #
No , I had that hundred didn't I ? #
I had that extra hundred for the erm #
for granddad or whatever it was or something weren't it ? #
Granddad's birthday or something . #
Throw them off the board on purpose and , you know you lose all your money ! #
You pass it to the two blokes . #
The only two blokes in the game . #
Don't she ? #
Aye ? #
Right ! #
Throw the dice off the #
table twice #
you lose all your money and give it to me and Phil ! #
Is that right ? #
We used to gang up on our Ju , didn't we #
darling ? #
That weren't fair really because #
you cheated then ! #
She cheated Phil didn't she ? #
That's why ! #
Ooh country club ! #
Oh she's going posh ! #
No , you missed a go because of you got that two hundred pound . #
Did you want any , anybody want any crisps yet or not ? #
Get the pickle out then . #
There's more than one . #
Is it still going ? #
No , because I've #
I've #
Did quite a bit of it #
this morning didn't I ? #
That's why you didn't hear any of the bobsleigh cos I had the bloody thing going #
just as a dummy run . #
No , I started again didn't I ? #
Didn't I Phil ? #
Cos , who was it who said to me are you taping us ? #
Cos #
Yeah . #
Six . #
One , two , three , that's right , four . #
What's that ? #
Yeah go on , I'll have a bit of that She ! #
Ooh a microwave ! #
I've always wanted ! #
I was gonna say , I'm #
honest , I was gonna give #
it to you . #
Is that and ? #
Yeah . #
No , I couldn't reach your pile ! #
She's gone up now . #
Yes , you gotta that . #
No , you can sell somebody #
who needs them . #
Aye , where's my card ! #
I didn't get , oh there's my card ! #
What is it ? #
How much ? #
Yeah ! #
I'll give you twenty for it ! #
I'll go hundred . #
That's true , yeah . #
Mm . #
Yeah but he he he well he #
he probably thought he was it because he was the new salesman , salesman director and I used to take the piss out of him ! #
And we'd turn round and say well keep it ! #
I'll go to hundred . #
So that means , what do I need now then ? #
Diploma ? #
Would I get a ta Aye ! #
You took two there didn't you ? #
aargh . #
I know your type . #
That's what I've fucking always wanted ! #
What I need is #
Either #
that or high society . #
Country club ! #
I need Country club then don't I ? #
I got that , I put that #
and I've got a credit card ! #
But that's a credit card ! #
That could buy me in ! #
Yeah but count #
Yeah but Shel if you got a credit #
card can't you just go stra buy and just write a cheque out and go straight in ? #
Say well , here's my credit card #
The thing is this isn't a credit card is it ? #
This is what's her name innit ? #
That one ? #
Mm . #
That's class or Black's Art Gallery #
innit ? #
. #
How we are ta , doing for time ? #
He wants to bust the ! #
Do you see Madonna in the paper yesterday ? #
In the news ? #
Did you see Madonna in the paper yesterday , naked ! #
Ugly looking bitch ! #
That makes me sick ! #
You see Madonna in the paper ? #
Have we got yesterday's paper ? #
In there ? #
No , it's not on there . #
Look at the state of this Phil ! #
She looks repulsive in this ! #
I think she looks disgusting ! #
She looks bloody disgusting #
don't she ? #
As a bunny girl for bloody #
porn magazine . #
Gone right down now ! #
She was on my favourite top ten list , but she's not now ! #
Mind you , she was brilliant in bed ! #
I don't need that do I ? #
Cos you don't need to keep buying #
yeah , that's right ! #
Shit ! #
Go on then ! #
The shits ! #
Mm . #
Is that the thing you get ? #
Did you have any of them pickled onions or not ? #
What they like ? #
Mind you , she did them about four year ago ! #
Aha ! #
Twelve hundred . #
Twelve hundred pounds . #
It's not funny ! #
What's that , six ? #
Gift from dad #
collect a hundred pound . #
And more . #
Love ! #
Good one ! #
Get out of there ! #
Nine . #
And you fucking lot in the middle class ! #
Can you throw those dice here . #
Another five hundred there , what ! #
Everything okay ya ! #
Ya ! #
Okay ya ! #
Okay ya ! #
Yes , ! #
Two to go then . #
Woa ! #
! #
Yeah , put it in the bank ! #
High class ! #
Stuff it up your arse ! #
Oh middle class , stuff i #
Oh middle class , stuff it up your arse ! #
That's English ! #
Oh sure . #

 #
Six twe er , hundred and twenty . #
Oh middle class , stick it up your arse ! #
I'm in the higher class , well shove it up your arse ! #
Leave that there . #
It's on the table . #
One , two , three , one , two , three ! #
Oh shit ! #
This is what I done last time , and I stayed behind and I just #
sneaked up , and sneaked up , and sneaked up and won ! #
And I woke up then ! #
And how would you know ? #
Was you there ? #
Oh ! #
! #
Tape's still rolling ! #
And I'm still rolling along ! #
Er er er ! #
Five . #
One , two , three four Can I have my two hundred please ? #
No , I ju , did you see that ? #
That was sneaky Phil , weren't it ? #
It was sneaky ! #
We were putting our money there ,money ! #
Your . #
Shit ! #
You ! #
No ! #
Just cos the Ferrari the other night ! #
Seven . #
I'm up here dear ! #
One , two , three , four , five , six , seven . #
Can't do any frigging worse have I ? #
I could buy my way out couldn't I ? #
Yeah ,wa watch her she's a , she's in charge of the fun #
Yeah , okay . #
It's good i #
Mine . #
Thank you . #
Did I get I suppose ! #
Oh right ! #
Stop it ! #
No I ain't got one of them . #
Got one of them ! #
Haven't we ? #
Alright ! #
Don't keep rubbing it in ! #
Don't worry about it ! #
I'm not depressed ! #
Yet ! #
Pass . #
Pass . #
Oh right ! #
My go is it ? #
You been ? #
You been ? #
What's that , two ? #
Oh ! #
Ain't he ? #
Oh I'll go again ! #
So have I . #
Oh aye ! #
I've got , I've got buy this , another thing yet . #
Mm . #
A hundred and one thousand two hundred and twenty . #
Well ! #
Take your turn again . #
I keep my money hidden me cos it's #
safe . #
Don't send me off . #
Don't send me off Phil ! #

We can have a go at this as well can't we ? #
Oh you do it ! #
Cos I got the Camden Race Course . #
No he #
keeps that . #
That'll just mean #
One of them . #
Just one back . #
You nearly took that off my fucking pile ! #
You got #
you just took that off my pile ! #
You just took that off my pile ! #
And as well ? #
I'm not like that ! #
Don't run in the family ! #
Don't you you ! #
Your supposed to be sticking up for me love ! #
You know I'm not a bad loser ! #
Fucking hell ! #
You know I'm not a bad loser ! #
So don't do it else I'll pull the table apart like I la , tipped the table in the air ! #
Oh get stuffed ! #
Well on the top and your the one with five hundred , you scrooge ! #
I've only got three hundred . #
Yeah ! #
You call yourself a Scot ! #
Put it in the bank ! #
Just put it in the bank ! #
Two , two , two , two , four , five , four , five money bye bye #
money , bye bye ! #
But I have ! #
I have , but I'm not going up . #
I'll have some more of this delicious #
cope ! #
Bacardi and coke #
really ! #
Thirty . #
More than me then ! #
I got three and a half thousand . #
Oh ! #
Yeah . #
If we #
if we get to alimony , I've seen the film ! #
That's er , give that to me I'm not a bloody #
Oh yes ! #
I got a two lovely there . #
Who wants . #
I only want #
green furniture . #
Go on , do something quick ! #
Go on then fifteen . #
Do you want this , The Ploughman ? #
Oh screw you ! #
I got fifteen . #
Oh yeah ! #
Oh yeah , I'll have don't they have one as well ? #
Give us another twenty , fifty #
Do I get my money as well for passing ? #
You did not just give me my money for passing ! #
Alright ! #
Oh yeah , so have I . #
Five . #
Patience is a virtue darling , you'll soon go up ! #
No you're not ! #
How did you work that out ? #
You got five ? #
No you weren't #
you on the stock exchange ! #
But ? #
You're doing it again , you're trying to cheat ! #
Ce certainly weren't me ! #
You go there . #
One , two , three , four , five , six , one , two , three ! #
I know ! #
Screw you and all ! #
I'm not a bad loser Phil #
but , you know ! #
If you know the table's going up in the air you know it's time to #

Who's got the control to the , to the telly ? #
Who's got the controls to the telly . #
Oh Jason's on , Jason ! #
I see erm Philip Schofield's finished #
the old er #
Joseph and the er #
Yeah . #
Richard Wilson . #
Nine . #
One , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight #
nine . #
What's that ? #
Yacht club . #
Yeah , yeah . #
How many ? #
I've gotta go round the start haven't I ? #
Yes . #
A measly ? #
It's good enough for me ! #
Snob ! #
Yeah , down . #
Well leave that for a minute then . #
! #
what's that say ? #
What's that , a three ? #
One , two , three . #
Enter #
oh Christ ! #
What does that do ? #
Yes . #
Get her some coronations ! #
She does . #
Yeah . #
One , two , three , four #
See all the cheating going on wouldn't they ? #
Stock exchange . #
I dunno , #
that'll do me !five times . #
I didn't want that one did I ? #
You give me two . #
I'm honest , see ! #
Yeah , you thought I'd be a cheat didn't you ?he said that #
Yeah . #
He was holding his hand out hoping that he would er get a bit and well I said if you give me #
three #
Yeah , if you want it . #
How much do I need to go up ? #
How much do I need to go up ? #
I can go up . #
That's right ! #
I don't wanna go up anyway . #
I wanna stay , I'm happy where I am ! #
I got my Yacht club thing have I ? #
Where di , yeah but you didn't give me it ! #
Did you ? #
My yacht club . #

Mm . #
Oh we got Porsche ! #
Have you ? #
No , I've got a stil , I've got an e , I've got an engine in the back of my car , oh it's a Porsche ! #
Oh yes ! #
No ! #
You gotta wait #
So when you got pass there Ju don't forget you say I am going up to middle class ! #

Seven . #
One , two , three , four , five , one , two . #
I can buy now anyway can't I ? #
Yes , I shall have one of them . #
How much ? #
That's not very nice that ! #
You happy ? #

Taxes . #
Good job you stayed on there Ju ! #
Gonna have to stay there another , a longer darling ! #
Twelve twelve #
Oh you're gonna set my cousin off there ! #
Pay ten percent interest . #
No . #
Alright then ! #
Six . #
One , two , three , four , five #
six . #
Yacht club please ? #
And my thousand please ? #
Why ? #
Sorry , is it ? #
Oh yeah ! #
I've got some if you #
want some . #
I got about fifty of them if you want them . #
Five . #
Did I have mine on there ? #
Yeah , I did didn't I ? #
Why is she cheating is she ? #
She cheating or something ? #
Yes ! #
Yeah but you , you wa you want the er how much do you need fifty #
You haven't got it #
you got ten , twenty #
you got about twenty five if you're lucky ! #
I'm not gonna give it you now ! #
Now you say it ! #
No ! #
You mean , you mean #
again ? #
No ! #
No ! #
No , no , no , no , no you cheat ! #
No ! #
Cos you gotta stay down #
there . #
No , that's it . #
When you get to there . #
When you get to there yeah , or #
whatever ! #
I'll be them . #
So #
No ! #
No , no , no ! #
You gotta start afresh to go above there and you want five thousand as well don't you ? #
Sorry ! #
One , two , three , four , five , six , seven . #
Just put it with the you know , about eighty thousands I've got ! #
I don't #
want any there st , looks like a #
Oh , here we go again ! #
Can we go to the bank . #
Go for a hundred pound . #
Take a chance on it ! #
Eight . #
Yeah , go for #
hundred ! #
Watch her Ju ! #
Watch her ! #
There you go . #
See you in a minute ! #
See you in a mo ! #
Soon I'll be rushing #
to #
Yeah . #
Sell it back to whoever . #
You sod ! #
You , you want your #
One two , three , four #
No you can't cos you can't buy till your #
first round can he ? #
What's that , seven ? #
One , two , three , four , five , six , seven . #
I'll buy the Northend Bar did we ? #
You need two of them didn't you ? #
And one of them ? #
Twenty thousand we said didn't #
we ? #
No ! #
No , you can't ! #
You gotta go round once and you ain't gone round ! #
Six thousand . #
Bad loser I'm no not ! #
Okay ? #
One , two , three , four ,fi i i i i ive ! #
I'll have that one . #
Do I need that one ? #
Car Sale . #
I'll have one of them Phil . #
Yeah . #
Ching #

Yes ! #
Yacht club ! #
No you can't . #
Eight . #
One , two , three #
Stock exchange and higher than mine , ha ha ha ha ha ha ! #
Yes . #
That'll do me ! #
investment plus five times ! #
Yes , that's right . #
Yeah , you must have forty . #
But i #
i is there four ? #
Yeah ,yo don't put #
forty eight thousand . #
Yeah . #
You could go up to top group ri straight #
away . #
Have they changed your two hundred pounds in there ? #
So change six hundred thousand . #
He's always got no fucking money ! #
What are we doing ? #
Are we going to a hundred thousand then or what ? #
Dunno . #
It's only a thousand pound . #
If you go to a thousand she'll only have to come and do it now cos well I've won ain't I ? #
I don't need to do I ? #
I I #
alright , but I don't want to . #
No , what the hell ! #
I'll stay , I'll just , I'll just #
We did with Martin and Kim didn't we ? #
Cos they had this argument before , Kim said five , five hundred fifty o fifty thousand and Kim said no we'll make it hundred thousand cos #
Tell you about that #
With a throw of a dice you can go right up #
couldn't you ? #
Here we are , spinning ! #
Six #
seven thousand . #
Have over ten thousand . #
Five hundred ! #
Er ! #
Yes . #

I could do couldn't I ? #
I've gotta get to there though first . #
Mm . #
Oh . #
What's that ? #
Six . #
One , two , three , four , five , six . #
I'm going anyway . #
Gree dee da da da da da da ! #
I've gotta sell these off now . #
And open the middle class #
Yes , you can you can buy off #
me . #
Yes . #
I've got two I've got ee , erm clo Yacht Club card for sale . #
I'll give them hundred for them . #
Who's gonna have the other fifty . #
oi ! #
Who's gonna #
She takes it ! #

Want these ? #
Anybody want these ? #
Oh well ! #
It's your money ! #

Right . #
And I and these there , I got two of these for sale ? #
I paid five hundred for them . #
For one ? #
No . #
More ! #
How #
much do I get from the bank ? #
I'm gonna be a bastard ! #
Give me two hundred for them both . #
Oh shit ! #
Course you have , yeah ! #
You've gotta give me a hundred . #
Ah shit ! #
Yeah . #
Oh yes , I'm up with Shel aren't I ? #
Up in the higher class . #
Enter the higher class ! #
Do you want some more of this lovely Coke ! #
Stil missing some some there . #

Three #
four , five , six . #
No not like that . #
Go on ! #
Ah ! #
Not for you that's for certain ! #
Yes . #
My go ? #
What's that ? #
Six . #
One , two , three , four #
five , six black , oh it's Guy ! #
I'm just looking ! #
Only looking ! #
How you doing Shel ? #
Nor me ? #
You know . #
It's only a gamble ! #
It does quite well sometimes . #
I've done that a few times with Ju ain't I ? #
Oh you're not are you ? #
Oh what a shame ! #
Ha ha , oh what what ! #
Pay alimony a hundred times the roll of both dice , return to lower class ! #
Lower class ! #
Return to lower class ! #
Yes ! #
And I don't need any of that ! #
I'll give you #
I'll give you #
I'll gi you five , I'll give you five hundred from both . #

Oh can she ? #
But I , I need them don't I ? #
Go on then love ! #
I could do couldn't I ? #
But I #
I'd be a bitch and sell them ! #
No you cheeky sod ! #
No I said two thousand . #
Not each ! #
You will do , yeah , after this alimonies's over ! #
Yeah , he's gotta get he's gotta get one of them #
as well . #
No , I'm gonna #
I take a chance in a minute on Stock Exchange and wack my lot on ! #
Eight . #
Yeah ! #
I would that ! #
You gotta pay that on it Phil ? #
How many do I need , ten ? #
Ooh ! #
That's one of mine ! #
That's er , this one five hundred isn't it ? #
That's er #
A solarium , yes . #
Seven . #
Have a go on the Stock Exchange shall we ? #
Ah ! #
Wait there ! #
Can I have my #
Hope so ! #
Three . #
Three thousand . #
Yep ! #
Seven . #
Go again . #
Ten . #
That'll do . #
Yeah , that'll do . #
Shall I go ? #
See what it'd have been shall I ? #
Can we just see what it'll be ? #
Woa ! #
! #
Ooh ! #
Ooh hoo ! #

It's a self preservation society ! #
Oh is nice to be down there ! #
I look down on you ! #
Look up at me ! #
Because I'm in the high #
class and you're in the middle class ! #
One , two , three , four #
One dice or two dice ? #
Four . #
Oh that's alright . #
Seven . #
Yes ! #
Shit ! #
Mm ! #
But you don't go pink one . #
Square her a yellow one . #
No . #
I'll have them #
Di di di di di di #
di di da #
I was the only one up there ! #
Di di di di #
di . #
di di #
di . #
Der di di di di da da da da er ! #
Dee di di da di di di di di di di di #

Eight . #
That's what I like about you Julie ! #
Yeah . #
Seven . #
Who's got the green ones ? #
What you whispering about ? #
No bloody you two ! #
oi ! #
We wanna know what you're going on about ! #
What is it ? #
Aye ! #
Aye ! #
No ! #
I'm in on this and all ! #
What #
is it ? #
Yeah . #
six hundred . #
Shel ? #
How much do I get for this ? #
Yeah ! #
Right . #
Give you two . #
Five . #
Oh bloody hell ! #

That's right . #
What's this one ? #
What's this one we're bidding on ? #
What we bidding on now ? #
Ee ee he shouldn't be able to buy them cos he's only just gone down ! #
Black art's gallery in the middle of the road #
I'll give you two fifty . #
How much ? #
I'll give you three hundred ! #
Four . #
Four . #
Do I need to go round before I can #
before I #

 #
No I said four ! #
Try to , trying to up us ! #
Give us them two back and we'll call it quits . #
Oh well , ah , you owe we hundred ! #
Er , I just give you it ! #
Five hundred innit ? #
Oh is it ? #

I'm missing out on something here aren't I ? #
No ! #
No ! #
Just one . #
Mm . #
This yeah , I got it in ones , so I'll give it you ones , alright . #
There you go ! #
Not bad Phil ! #
Put it in the bank ! #
Leave it in the bank ! #
round once #
You could afford to go up Shel can't you ? #
Oh I'm doing okay , aren't I ? #
Yes . #
If I get pissed off now I might just do ! #
Course you can't , I can't go up anyway ! #
Not yet . #
Lottery . #
Right , this is the fun bit . #
This is where we all bang in ! #
And we can all bang in with her ! #
out of this we can all , we could all bang in ! #
But we gotta go the same as what you'd go . #
So if we go ? #
So if I went like that you've gotta go the same ? #
Alright ? #
You would ! #
What a little de , yeah ! #
I am as well darling ! #
I know ! #
Yeah . #
Alright . #
I'm I'm the same as you I'm the same darling ! #
We're all skint ! #
Seven . #
That was devil ! #
Do you want me to go again ? #
Two at seven . #
They'll have to go again by the sounds of it . #
It looks like the seven will have to go again ! #
You , you silly for doing that darling ! #
Four . #
No , it don't count cos I didn't have that you cheat ! #
Someone's fixed these dice I tell you ! #
We'll take the card ! #
Your go #
innit ? #
My go ? #
Shit ! #
Six . #
You gotta sell Phil ! #
You gotta sell your properties ! #
I'll pay I'll give you four hundred for that bloody #
I'll five hundred for your card . #
You sent that on to me ! #
I've been round once ain't I ? #
One , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight . #
The Stock Exchange ! #
Here we go again ! #
No . #
Eight . #
I get ten thousand back , what's that ? #
Roll again . #
Seven . #
Bastard ! #
I should of gained that . #
Should of . #
Not going greedy and offered a thousand shouldn't I ? #
Was a thousand last week . #
Now it's ten P for twenty pounds in there ! #
Shall I get loads of them ? #
I'm only talking about twelve pounds ! #

 #
Two , three , four , five , six #
four , five . #
Not a lot mate ! #
I'm down to a measly #
You've only got five thousand ! #
So you got more than we got then ! #
You got more than me ! #
The same as that . #
We got the same now ! #
Back back to square one again Shel ! #
Are you being insolent ? #
You don't care Ju do you ? #
You love it ! #
fives . #
Eighty five thousand . #
Oh ! #
One thousand ! #
Yeah you got to ! #
Aha . #
Four . #
One , two , three , four . #
I'll have a go on the stock exchange . #
I know . #
I want seven . #
Oh yes ! #
That's a shame ! #
Yeah , has to go up to #
five thousand #
Seven . #
I would think , well I don't . #
Four . #
Well that's everything what I done ! #
Christ ! #
Three quarters #
so you leave a thousand . #
That's everything that I done didn't I ? #
Sorry mate ! #
Twelve . #
One , two , three , four , five , six seven , eight , nine , ten , eleven , twelve . #
Can I have my er fucking need it ! #
Woa ! #
Yes . #
Ooh ! #
Just missed it Phil ! #
I got one ! #
What number ? #
How much do I need ? #
How much do I need to go up again ? #
I'm going up ! #
Next #
go . #
That's why I'm not going up innit ? #
I've been round once haven't I ? #
That's right ! #
That's why I say I'm going up next go . #

Stick that up your jumper ! #
Oh very funny darling ! #
Doesn't see you ! #
Doesn't see you ! #
Means it doesn't suit you ! #
Okay ? #
One , two , three . #
I'm on the race track . #
Cos I'm going up see what happens . #
Do I go on the racetrack #
Six , no ! #
or not ? #
No . #
On that then I sa , I said I was going anyway . #
But I was on the race , I was going on the race track . #
Do I go on the race track or do I go straight up ? #
No , but you #
yeah but that was you #
No it wasn't Stock Exchange ! #
But I can go straight up there anyway ! #
But me like I am being a greedy bastard I didn't ! #
I'll go for race track . #
No cheating Shelly ! #
I haven't said a number yet ! #
It's turn innit ? #
Eight . #
Bastard ! #
Yeah ! #
Ho ooh ! #
Oh ! #
Which is ? #
Another two of them will do me then . #
Two to one . #
No ! #
Two to one ! #
I get my two plus my , my investment back . #
I'm on high class anyway . #
So I'm selling these in a minute Shel . #
Anybody on middle class wanna buy them . #
Who's on middle class ? #
Five hundred ! #
Oh is it ? #
Oh ! #
What about the Yacht Club . #
Mm . #
Will I get in the er if I sell them back ? #
No I wouldn't get more than #
No ! #
Two hundred for that one . #
Well put that one back then . #
Nope ! #
And put that one back as well ! #
Yeah , but I'm up now I don't want you to come up yet do I ? #
If you come up you've won haven't you ? #
Well then ! #
I know . #
But if she comes up she's won ain't she ? #
Yeah , but she's gotta go up to win ain't she ? #
And if I let her out I'm stupid aren't I ? #
She's won the fucking game ! #
You sure ? #
God ! #
Sorry ! #
Course I will mate ! #
Course I will ! #
Who's on Stock Exchange ? #
Two thousand back . #
We want one . #
Stop that out there ! #
Is that seven ? #
You sure ? #
Right . #
One , two , three , four , five #
One , two , three . #
I said to mysel , I said to myself #
I'm not going on that one I'll #
and now it's that ! #
I had a ! #
I had a fucking policeman anyway didn't I ! #
Bastard ! #
You been round once ? #
Get another tape out in a minute Ju ! #
Get another tape out in a minute ! #
Typical innit ! #
Go up jus to get banged back down again ! #
I've only sold one of these #
cards at the moment ! #
You going for that card are you ? #
Thanks mate ! #
Seven . #
One , two , three #
four , five , six #

Ding , ding ding ding ding . #
I only wanted a couple of laps up round there #
I wouldn't give a shit then ! #
I wouldn't mind a couple ! #
Very close ! #
On eights ? #
Seven . #
Look at that ! #
Can't do anything with it ! #

Come on then ! #
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo . #
See you down the bottom Shel ! #
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ! #
See you down the bottom Shel ! #
You can keep hold of them can't you ? #
No you haven't ! #
Right . #
I thought you keep hold of that Ju ? #
I thought you could keep hold of that ? #
Have I gotta give you money ? #
One , two ,three , four five #
One , two #
three , five ! #
Five ! #
What are they lower class ? #
I'm in the lower class . #
How much ? #
I'll gi you hundred . #
Two hundred . #
Two hundred so er #
You can have it then ! #
So have I ! #
Eight . #
One , two , three , four , five , one , two , three . #
Racetrack . #
Eight . #
Mm . #
Mm . #
Mm . #
Night school diploma . #
I'll buy you card darling ! #
No he's #
go round once ain't he ? #
Twelve . #
One , two , three , four , can I have my money ? #
Five , six ,seven , eight , nine , ten , eleven , twelve . #
What's that one ? #
Yeah I'll #
Well let's see if I've got some here . #
Yeah , I've got some hundreds , here are . #
Two , three , four #
five , six , seven #
eight , nine , I'll have , I'll have ten . #
I'll have ten thousand . #
I'll have ten thousand . #
Oh ! #
Well , sorry ! #
Yeah . #
Aren't you ? #
I'll have another five then . #
Five thousand . #
Five thousand . #
Trying to keep mine quiet ! #
Yeah . #
Why do you want a sub here ? #
Ju ? #
Look at this ! #
Bloody awful in't it ? #
No , twenty times ! #
Two hundred and twenty . #
for me weren't it ? #
Won't you ? #
Seven . #
Seven . #
One , two , three , four #
five , six seven . #
I'll buy it ! #
No #
One , two , three , four . #
What's that ? #
Moor View ? #
That's in erm #
I've heard of Moor View , that's in Chuddley innit , Moor View ? #
Innit ? #
No , there's Moor View in Chuddley #
Mm . #
I would have thought so darling . #
They're not gonna pay you ! #
One ! #
What's on that ? #
Cos have you got a ? #
Where's the #
Who's got the controls ? #
Well turn it off then ! #
Wasting more electric ! #
D'you want it off ? #
Ooh it's Barbara Streisand ! #
Shit hang on ! #
It's our Barbara ! #
I'll tell you to fucking ! #
What's this one ? #
Is this here ? #
Right then . . #
Ooh shit ! #
Ooh ! #
Look at that ! #
One , two , three . #
Five . #
One , two , three , four , five . #
Can I have oh I'll buy that one myself . #
Can't afford it ? #
Can't afford it . #
Don't know if I can afford it . #
Thank you . #
Oh I just might be able to afford that . #
Ooh ! #
No you were showing on the bottom of me aren't you ? #
Five . #
I'm over it ! #
I'm over it ! #
Yeah , and me . #
I'll buy that one , who's got that one ? #
Three hundred . #
A , one , two #
Right . #
Four . #
Five . #

Well at least I got #
past that . #
Go on your go ! #
Six . #
Browns I don't really wanna buy that do I ? #
On the Stocks #
See the bottom of the Stock Exchange is still #
going up ! #
Ah ! #
Ah ! #
What ? #
Eight . #
Seven . #
Yep ! #
Said to you regain investment ! #
And now you're up anyway in't you ? #
Yeah , she's going up . #
No , so #
Shel gonna #
Aye ? #
You don't want them up in the top the next group #
with us do you ? #
You don't want them in the next group with us do you ? #
Well just give the diploma back to . #
Yes . #
That'll take you up next time round . #
You don't want that do you ? #
They got all the money ! #
They got all the money ! #
Put them in the bank . #
Fair enough ! #
Right ! #
No ! #
Well that's #
stupid ! #
I wouldn't do #
it like that ! #
That was , I was , I was in the money ! #
Four . #
Who's got the red ones ? #
Who's got the red ones ? #
Those ? #
Okay ? #
I'll buy that one off you . #

Have I got a fifty pound ? #
It's one of them big ones , I haven't seen one of them before ! #
First one of them I've seen ! #
I didn't know we had them ! #
I've been seeing #
I've been seeing these funny yellow ones ! #
I don't know what they are ! #
Go up and go down ! #
They go and go down ! #
They keep going then going down ! #
Well they're fucking doing well #
aren't they ? #
How can you cos they ain't got it ? #
Fucking ridiculous ! #
You got ,ha , what have they got ? #
You can only go what they've got . #
Mm . #
Probably have actually . #
Right . #
Cos they can go that actually . #
It's only cos the . #
I'm not gonna do , I'm not I'm not going in . #
You don't have to go in do you ? #
You don't , no . #
But I'm gonna cos I'm I'm like that . #
You go two fives ? #
Okay . #
Yeah . #
No , you've gotta go in it #
you gotta go in it ! #
Everybody's gotta do it in the long run . #
Haven't they ? #
Alright then I'll I'll go up . #
Everybody . #
He'll take won't he the next time ? #
Don't let her win Ju ! #
Told you Ju ! #
Who the hell is it ? #
Never mind one of them ! #
I don't need another one of them ! #
Yeah , something like that , yeah ! #
Two . #
I'll have that one ! #
Cos I need one of them to go up . #
Do I want one of them ? #
Do I ? #
Have I got hundred pound ? #
Julie's coming on alright now aren't you ? #
You jammy sod ! #
Well you got a couple of yellow ones now ! #
Oh and the be #
pink . #
Quite a few pink . #
Two ! #
Eight . #
Hundred and si , three hundred and sixty . #

She daren't buy it you see ! #
Have I been round once ? #
I #
I thought I had already . #
Yeah . #
I just missed that wedding . #
Do I need to go round . #
Yeah I do don't I ? #
No , cos I bought them off erm somebody just go another #
one on . #
That's right ! #
Cos I can't buy it can I ? #
Just missed the wedding by one ! #
No idea ! #
Oh you're next to me now cos #
Haven't been round have I ? #
I haven't been round so I can't have it ! #
They just took it back off me ! #
Keep them low babe ! #
And again babe ! #
Keep them low ! #
when you get a low one and you get seven . #
Whoa ! #
Shaky , shaky Shelley ! #
And he's on the racetrack ! #
Oh yeah ! #
A number nine ! #
Come on baby ! #
Eight . #
What's he gone for ? #
Nine ! #
Probably Vicki #
fell down . #
Put it in , put in th . #
Sounds like Vicki . #
Don't touch it ! #
Can't do anything with that going can we ? #
I said we can't do anything with that . #
Who is it ? #
Who was it , Vicki ? #
Put that back cos that's mine ! #
Yeah . #
! #
That's cheating ! #
Julie . #
Is she asleep ? #
What did she do , fall out of bed ? #
Dreaming ? #
Watch them Ju ! #
They're cheating these two ! #
Philip went Philip said , shall I nick a ten thousand ? #
Didn't realise the tape was on ! #
I give her teddy #
bear . #

Oh ! #
I didn't take her #
bottle ! #
Oh course you did ! #
She asked me to get her #
Oh my God ! #
You been on the shit again ! #
No splashing the pan ! #
I don't know wanna re-coat it ! #
It was re-coated last week ! #
Pebble-dashed ! #
Six . #
What . #
What for ? #
I'll phone you on Monday if you want ? #
From work . #
He won't be coming till Tuesday . #
If you want . #
I say , I wouldn't realise you see . #
Can you get us some toilet rolls I put the last one in the bathroom or summit . #
Mhm . #
I shall use kitchen roll till he comes around then . #
Who's go is it ? #
Mine innit ? #
Everybody ready ? #

Shut the kitchen light out ? #
Turn the se , turn the bloody kitchen #
Turn it off . #
Shut the kitchen light off ! #
Nothing . #
What's that ? #
Yeah ! #
What's that ? #
Collect hundred pound go in last night . #
Which one's collected hundred pound on granddad's birthday ? #
Shall I give him the hundred ? #
Is that my hundred Shel is it ? #
Didn't see you put it there . #
Cos you're winning ! #
Is that #
Six , sixty . #
Four . #
Oh no , the other . #
Not my go anyway ! #
Say no to me ! #
for me . #
Yeah . #
Hang on ! #
Yeah . #
That's a bit of cheating ! #
Give him two hundred of yours ! #
Cos she's in middle class . #
How much you'd paid again was it ? #
Oh I paid you alimony #
Paid your alimony haven't you ? #
Haven't you ? #
You paid your alimony ? #
Too right ! #
That's your diploma innit ? #

Lose that quarter . #
Now go on ! #
Well we took the next #
gonna be . #
Investment plus equal amount . #
Oh well ! #
Julie's on the stock exchange ! #
I tell you what this game's doing quite well ! #
Well I'll soon tell you . #
Tape's still going again . #
Looks like forty five minutes #
have we ? #
Right , is that all you get . #
Yeah . #
Eight . #
, one , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight . #
Phillip , six . #
Can't buy it ! #
I haven't been round once . #
It's not funny anyway ! #
One , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight , nine , ten . #
I'll have that ! #
Rose's Clothes #
or whatever it is ! #
And I'm going up next go ! #
I can't say it yet can I ? #
Yeah I can . #
Yes I have ! #
Yes I have ! #
Shut your face ! #
Yeah , but I can say it now . #
So when I'm there I can go up straight away . #
I'm Rosie ! #
Rosie and Ju , Rosie and Jim ! #
Rosie and Jim go round #
. #
Rosie and Jim #
Rosie and Jim ! #
Dee dee dee , dee dee #
D'you watch it ? #
Rosie and Jim ? #
You watch this look ! #
Why what's that on that ? #
Where's the name ? #
One , two #
three , four #
five , six , seven , eight #
nine , ten . #
Society weddings . #
He's in the high society ! #
I'm in the low #
Cheeky shit ! #
Seven . #
One , two , three , four #
five , six , seven . #
This is the self preservation society ! #
Yeah . #
Yeah go on then . #
Just see what it have been Shel . #
Let's just see what it have been . #
Shel just do whatever ! #
Actually the first one isn't bad . #
Yeah , a hundred thousand you go down to the bo , what's left #
Ten thousand I'm getting carried away ! #
Ten thousand then you get rid of all the #
That's right . #
You count it up . #
Watch her , watch her Ju ! #
What's this for ? #
Oh ! #
Bye bye money ! #
Bye bye money ! #
Bye bye money doo doo doo doo #
See , she's sneaking that if you #
look . #
No , you didn't give me my hu , no #
whatever it is ! #
Julie's got a few of them yellow ones now ! #
Eight . #
Mm . #
six #
I don't think anybody's brought a brown one ! #
Seven . #
One , two , three , four , five , six , seven . #
Oh Shit ! #
What's that , taxes on what ? #
That'll do me ! #
Seventy , seventy pound . #
Well if you can't them to lose their money . #
Oh ! #
Still not there Shel ! #
Still not there . #
Five . #
Oh I might be with my change . #
I might be with my change . #
How many is it ? #
Well I might be with my cha #
Unlucky ! #
! #
I was going up anyway , I said #
didn't I ? #
Oh well that can go on the straight on the #
Of course . #

Yeah . #
You keep saying ! #
I'm a . #
I just said you were losing up there . #
Well done Ju ! #
I wouldn't nick them ! #
Don't look like that ! #
No we didn't , I was watching you . #
I've go I've gotta watch #
He's not , he's not over #
the top Ju ! #
One , two , three , four , five , six #
one , two , three . #
I was going up weren't I ? #
Sh ! #
Don't matter . #
So I gotta give these back now ain't I ? #
Julie's gotta give me #
a hundred #
And Phi , Phil's gotta give me a hundred . #
And nobody's gonna give me nothing for that are they ? #
I'll get it Phil ! #
Don't worry ! #
It's alright mate ! #
Don't worry about it ! #
Plenty of time ! #
Plenty of time ! #
He #
he he he will be . #

darling ! #
Land on one #
of mine for a change ! #
You never land on any of mine ! #
I'm skint ! #
Six . #
Yeah ! #
No , I went from there #
to there to fucking there ! #
Your not ! #
I was up there , I was looking forward to my first ten thousand , I went from there to there , to fucking #
there ! #
What ? #
What ? #
All three ? #
Then I'll have the lot ! #
Mm . #
Mm . #
You got a deal ! #
Cos I love you ! #
Give me one , give me hundred back ! #
Give me hundred back ! #
Give me hundred back ! #
I'll let you off then ! #
I'll gi you the five hundred pound . #
I'm going up next go . #
Thanks a bunch ! #

Well it don't matter anyway ! #
But I'm just letting everybody know I'm going u , I'm going up next time , alright ? #
We'll probably find out none of this have come out #
What does she want ? #
Oh what a shame bye bye money , put it in the bank #
it's only #
if I got ten before I get to the top I've won haven't I ? #
Because I'm there and you're not , your money doesn't count then #
Wait till I get it #
In't that right ? #
Is that right I've won ? #
Not that I'm being nasty #
Well that's right innit ? #
Is that right or wrong ? #
I go to the top , I win if I got , if I got #
but I've got to make sure that I've got ten in't I first ? #
Yeah , eight #
That yellow pad there Shell #
Phil had the pen , Phil get the pen and will you add it up will you #
cheque book , by your cheque book weren't it ? #
Oh that's one of mine #
And you can't get any more money #
you're fucking out #
I missed a divorce anyway so I'm alright #
What do you want a pen for ? #
you had it #
And I'm going up as well , but I'm #
but I'm going race track as well so I'm on the race #
I'm on the race track #
I'm on the race track now I throw the dice myself here don't I ? #
I go one , right , I hadn't said a number yet #
I keep doing that it's all #
right , I have you got the pen ? #
I've got to stick with eight ain't I , cos eight's got to come again six #
how many ? #
Five #
ten #
something up top , so I'm selling #
so I'm selling these come on , who wants these ? #
Where Shell ? #
You in the middle ? #
Oh aye so he's , he's back down there , is green owes me five hundred #
that's green it's five hundred #
Who's go ? #
Shell's go ? #
Who's got the pad ? #
Keep count then #
One , two , three , four , one , two , three I'll have that one #
I can't buy , I can't buy yet #
Who keeps puffing smoke #
Better than a kick in the teeth innit ? #
One , two , three , four , five , six #
oh lend me ten thousand #
Yeah , do them with them can't you ? #
Right , now I've got to throw the dice #
Yes , don't cheat #
That make's a change #
Got a few of them though #
she must have a few of them , she's been up there a while #
And a few fives , a few fives , look at all them fives #
What number you going for ? #
Of course it is #
That fifteen , I , I keep on doing #
eight #
one , two , #
three , four , five , six , seven , eight , might go on it #
That's right you want #
Nine #
Er what ? #
Yeah , go on then #
Soon find out when you get home won't you ? #
If the lights are still on #
Not bad about it #
Well the dog'll sizzle up , the dog #
taken it over will he #
Not gonna buy anything ? #
Six , one , two , three , four , five , six , I'll buy that one #
yeah #
No I won't buy it #
Six , one , two , three , four , five #
five , one , two , three , four , missed the fucking taxes thank Christ for that #
six , one , two , three , four , five , six #
three there #
put #
Of course you do #
No , nor mine , you should of #
One , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight #
Yeah #
No you can't , cos you haven't been round #
that's your first time of going round , no #
you haven't #
No you haven't , you only collected a thousand #
that's your first time round , we've only been round twice #
No that was the first time round #
Put it in the bank #
it's is good innit ? #
The way you've got #
haven't you got nine #
fifteen haven't you ? #
Cos you had that seven didn't you ? #
Seven #
one , two , three , four , five , six , seven #
one , two , three , four #
I'm on the stock exchange #
does you too that's one plus two times #
Credit due #
twelve , one , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight , nine , ten , eleven , twelve , can I have my #
I like to use the money #
Who ? #
And your go , your #
But , he , he ain't bought anything #
he ain't bought all his #
he ain't bought any yet he just should of had that one #
but er pay back , straight back in the bank cos nobody's in that one #
You don't need the diploma at the top #
gotta buy two after you st , start going round #
I've been round twice but nobody believes me #
a hundred thousand yeah , yeah yeah you want eleven thousand #
I know , I've been round twice that's what I'm trying to say #
Oh I would of won by now , but somebody cheated #
I've just gotta say Shelly #
can you handle a lot of money ? #
But I'm the winner #
I've only gotta go back down #
again haven't I ? #
Oh pissed off then #
Give me , give me a bill for that #
Three #
Give it to me #
give it to me then Shell , give it to me , have I had mine ? #
Four , one , two , three , four #
I've , I've oh shit that's one of my own #
I've never had one of my own before #
Do I get a card ? #
I'm alright , I'm safe #
up there #
Yeah , but you wouldn't do it would you ? #
Are you gonna be nasty to us ? #
Why we've got it , yeah , whatever , yeah whatever going you've got in there #
Not yet #
Not yet I'm not #
I think I could just do it #
Yeah #
yeah I know #
I'm not quite sure I'm counting actually #
I'd say I've got ten , plus my bits that's why I've got to stay up here a bit longer really innit ? #
I've won then haven't I ? #
No I'm not playing sex maniac so #
Do you want to ? #
Do you want to finish it or not ? #
No you see I , see how I go for a minute #
No I don't wanna do it cos I wanna go up there , I wanna win #
I'm not being nasty I'll give him the money , but #
I just didn't want to fill that , I wanna win fair and square #
I wanna win through , somebody give me his cards #
No , not up on the top one #
not one I see no cos you've got that my last #
That's what that diploma was , you know , paid me for it for that five hun , that's what it was #
for the art gallery #
Stock exchange , I'm on nine #
I'm not stupid #
What's that seven ? #
No no I #
or not #
Could of thrown them a bit , bit better than that , give them a fucking shake and I'll just #
cheating shit #
bad loser that's your trouble #
No I haven't had that yet my ten thousand for passing er she takes her two hundred though from my ten thousand #
you watch them #
good on #
That was close weren't it ? #
Cor that was even closer weren't it ? #
I'll have it back in a minute #
Fifty one thousand I've got , more than that #
One , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight , I'll buy that one whatever that may be , olives , olives , olives whoever she is #
Is it ? #
Do I need it ? #
Piss off #
But I've got to go round to that again haven't I ? #
Haven't I go to go back round or not ? #
When I've got them all ? #
Soon as you've got them all #
and the money , I win she's close but she's on #
Yeah , but you're one below me aren't you now ? #
What a shame #
What a shame , yeah , you in front of me , what a shame #
money wise , but you're not now are you ? #
You , you , you're what you #
call shit at the bottom aren't you ? #
Could of got that Ascot thing , should apologize for making her take , give him a grand #
What a shame #
Go on babe , go for it babe #
just dar #
five , taxes , one , two , three , four , five #
Cor can I afford it ? #
yeah , go on , cos I'll get them back in a minute won't I ? #
I think so , I think could just , no I haven't got the ten thousand I'm just under #
Could of lost that four didn't I #
in one go ? #
She has , she has but she's at the bottom , so if she give me three of hers I'd be alright , ha #
Jul I want three of yours , will you give me three of yours #
Go on I'll make you a drink #
That's mine #
Cor I shouldn't of been there I think I should of been the next one along #
Six , one , two , three , four , five , six #
I can I don't know #
Eleven , one , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight , nine , ten , eleven , I'll buy that one , er what's that ? #
One , two leave the stock exchange again , at last I won this #
Yeah , but fucking shake them Shell , don't cheat #
I'll have that investment plan ten times #
I've , I've won haven't I , I reckon ? #
All I've got to do now is #
What and use #
Think I should win then #
Do you want to change it to fifteen hundred thousand ? #
change it then #
Nice one mate a nice low one #
Six #
six , one , two , three , four , five , I'll buy that one , then I've won #
cos I've got about , cos I can double it and treble it again I reckon , I can , cos I had fifteen #
I had fifteen before I had the ten Shell #
Can I have fifteen , shall I carry on ? #
Is that , how much you got there ? #
What for ? #
Oh we , were gonna do all that first are we ? #
I've won #
Well then so I haven't got to give you nothing #
See , no , no you don't , you've got to count up #
You haven't #
I think , you can't , how can you #
Plus I already had that , plus I had another five I didn't tell you about , I had fifteen when you said you had fifteen , look , one there's me first ten #
Two , three #
four #
hang on four , five , hang on I'm still going Shell #
Five six , seven , I say again seven , no I'm not , hang on eight , I'm twenty eight , two hundred and eighty thousand there #
It would would it ? #
And a bit of change and a bit of change , a bit of pocket money #
That was a long game actually #
Don't want to start do we ? #
What are we gonna do ? #
So you can cheat now , I don't care , yes so I had , I had fifty before I had the ten Shell #
We got Monopoly , you've got Monopoly ain't you ? #
Did you bring Monopoly ? #
Yeah , whatever , what , was #
Yeah #
They can't stop you #
they can't stop you #
Dunno , you don't win nothing #
What do you , what do you do here then ? #
Yeah , shuffle , I read that ,decide who goes first , the rest following in succ er whatever ,start playing in a clockwise direction #
the player takes the first card and looks at it , if it is a question card ask the next player , one of the two questions #
if the card is the instruction card , do you know what happens if you don't get it right then ? #
so you've got to keep hold of that #
Ah so it's the first person who spells sex maniac #
easy innit ? #
Yeah , but you keep them all tidy won't you ? #
You don't shuffle them like that you doughnut , how you shuffle cards with a pack of playing cards #
you stupid cow #
moo #
I dunno that , I mean you're gonna have to find out , find out if it's cheaper to stay at Keith's or not #
Yeah , these , these are nice , these are nice #
this is nice #
Yeah and you've got your own showers #
got your own toilet , your own shower , now #
Yeah , we'll have the double rooms , yeah ? #
Cos they're nice aren't they ? #
How much ? #
It's her uncle #
We'll eat , we'll eat in the dining room #
we're not eating in the back room , he can get stuffed , we'll eat in the posh end for a change Jul , like we did last time #
Help yourself to that #
It was only us two there weren't it ? #
Only about , only about a mile away from the fucking #
Said to you , cos oh well I thought about #
because we know the pubs and we can go to Queens or whatever for a few days #
right here we go then #
Right #
I haven't stopped dying yet #
I am , I am , I was just looking at it #
Does it go round like that until somebody answers it ? #
Oh #
I dunno , I suppose you've got to pick the pack up ain't you ? #
Clever aren't I ? #
B #
I thought you would of known that #
What I do ? #
If I get this one right it comes to me ? #
Right , give us a card then Phil #
Give us the card then Phil #
C #
Oh I would of got that one I would of #
Who had a man obsession with a Mormon ? #
A Mormon #
it's er a religion innit ? #
A , Madonna , B , Joyce McKinny or C Donny Osmond ? #
No it's B #
easy that #
it's a religion innit Mormon ? #
she did didn't she yeah #
Kick her in the head #
Yeah #
you can't do it that way , you just slide the pack out #
Cheat , no yeah of course you do , must do mustn't you ? #
It doesn't say ? #
Oh you're only allowed to have eight cards at one time #
so can you win it if you only have eight cards at one time ? #
You can't have all ten ? #
What was that card again ? #
If this card is an instruction card it must be obeyed by the person asking the question , the instruction card is then placed at the bottom of the pack , instruction cards are ren randomly mixed with the question cards and can change directions of play , make you give to the player to the left one of your cards etcetera , if a player has more than it doesn't say . #
Oh I just #
Julie grab that won't you ? #
Grab it towards you whatever , like you did that money , grab that money #
No it ain't don't tell me the answer #
If you wanna , do you want to do all the movements then ? #
He'll wanna show you what , what , what these things are won't he ? #
we haven't looked at that , we haven't looked at that video yet have you ? #
Testicles #
Bollock-less #
C #
A #
Embarrassed at bonking #
Ah it's too easy for you #
Yeah , let's kick some ass man , what do they call a blow job cos , it's not a blow job is it ? #
You don't blow you suck . #
What about a deep throat #
I've seen it so , go on #
Not one of them #
In a bathroom having a wank #
What's this ? #
What's this one ? #
And then she took half a roll #
I know she's got a big conk , but bloody hell #
Right let's go #
Hit me with it quickly , do you want some more ? #
Well what happened ? #
When did she make the coffee ? #
Urgh fucking hell Shell #
tip your coke , why don't you tip your coffee back in there and then there's this coke #
Finger licking good #
What was B ? #
C #
B fucking transvestite , I thought it was #
finger licking good #
Shave pussy #
That other one was easy #
I know where number two club is , but that's about it #
Nothing , can't even read that one through , go with this one . #
Happy weekend is the name of A , a kit sold in sex shops for dirty weekends , B , a German sex magazine listing positions , or C , allow Abba L P ? #
I nearly said an L B #
Yeah I #
The other one was erm , important men can get erections and it was pretty easy so I thought fuck it #
fuck it I'll give him all the easy ones don't I ? #
This is a good one Jul , you'll like this one #
Er , no I , I'm gonna do the other one , but the other one will be a laugh for work for the boys at work , but I can't say it #
Yeah what is the percentage of uncircumcised men in the world ? #
A , eighty five percent , B , fifty five percent or C , ninety percent ? #
No it's A , but this one what were the knee pads associates brown noses you know #
Adrian #
No #
Adrian , well erm the bosses men see , they wear the knee pads every day , I say to Jack I say you got a game called Sex Maniac , he says yeah , I'll say well you're fucking in there , knee pads associates #
What about ? #
Oh yeah I suppose he was in the sort of #
Aargh fucking weren't me #
Yeah it had to be didn't it ? #
She's the one who got done , that #
She's the one who had the whorehouse , she had the whorehouse #
She's the one who did it for money #
House #
chicken , chicken , chicken #
chicken whore she's a fucking #
she's a something girl , she's a fucking something girl #
She's , she's she's what's it called , her #
Madame Cynthia , is that what she was , yeah ? #
A bit smokey in here #
Had this one before #
Yeah , that was an easy one actually , cos that one was on telly #
Depends what these questions , you don't have to be fucking brainy have you , you've got to know all about sex #
Just say no more , than that shit #
Yeah , but they're looking at this tape and they're saying cor they're a bunch of fucking thickos aren't they ? #
Yeah , they'll be #
Furthest titism #
Titism #
Yeah #
A morbid fear of ? #
B #
Yeah , turn it off then , just that , just turn the light out , save the electricity #
Not a lot that black box , give it a white switch , no there's a white switch at the bottom , no , on , in front , behind the , that's it . #
What is the modern implication of pride in relation to sex ? #
A , slapstick , slapstick sex using flour , love of the family or pride in being gay ? #
No C #
You can have a look then if you don't believe me , cunt #
You got to go again cunt #
Don't shuffle with my words do I ? #
I thought I shuffled them quite well then , don't you ? #
We haven't finished yet #
Gotta be innit ? #
No , no I thought Ozzie Osborne #
C #
See me as a , you know when , when the bloke comes running says it's funny #
did it and the chest wig comes off , you imagine with a penis , you go up with a penis and you , oh what's that she says , what's that ? #
She say , what's that ? #
you can have a bit more space then Phil can't you ? #
Erm #
C #
Yeah I'm trying to get rid of it , bit more left though , long time , it's fucking too much #
Sorry ? #
Mm #
A #
Was it the word fucking , it's , some of these words #
Is #
with butter used as a sex aid , A , MASH #
B , #
A , MASH , B , Out of Africa or C , The Last Tango In Paris ? #
C #
I'm not #
Fucking hell is that the one , is that for one answer ? #
Fucking hell , go for it then , we've got all night , we don't have dinner till one o'clock so it don't matter , we'll still be sat here . #
Cow's that make the tea #
it's shorter #
Brit Ekland , yeah #
Only one question whether she was up or down #
A , Warren Beatty #
Thank you #
Which monarch had a liking for sex with horses ? #
it's er , done that one , but it don't matter #
No it's fucking longer #
A , A , Frederick the Great , B , Charlie Mangly , fucking hell who's he ? #
and C , Catherine the Great ? #
C , Catherine the Great #
Which monarch had a liking for sex with horses ? #
That's why she was called Catherine the Great #
that's why she's called Catherine the Great #
She should of fucking put #
T W A T ? #
A #
Swap back #
mm #
Shall we shuffle them again ? #
We get them fucking out #
A #
A #
crying over that one #
What you got prawn ? #
I like fish no thanks #
A #
On the good ship lollipop oh that was Shirley Temple #
What is not a shag ? #
For a snail to bonk #
Which of the following is a constant cam campaigner against censorship ? oh no , not that one ,who formed the British prostitutes union ? #
A , Lynsey Saint , Saint Clare , B , Penelope french lessons #
or C , Her in Buckingham ? #
No C #
Mm #
he'll probably sleep all night see , see if he does #
No seventh #
seventh , adultery innit ? #
Us being religious we would #
Ten #
the why come from where he cometh #
B #
I've had that one before #
Yeah I've heard that as #
We're even-stevens at the moment , we've both got three #
Yeah I have now because I changed with Phil didn't I ? #
Sex , sex , sex #
What did #
what did fraud oh Freud believe that most sons wanted to do to their mothers ? #
A , wet their pants wet their pants to annoy them B , suckle and C , make love to them #
You've gotta be in the , no actually it's B #
Mm #
Need to annoy their mums #
mm #
Yeah #
What's a cricket ? #
Mm #
So oh , cricket #
he likes this one I think #
Mm #
Mm #
B #
Aphrodisiac #
It means something like erm , what it says #
What was that then ? #
have you seen it , is it monkey's nuts ? #
Er fucking , I tell you , trying could the player to your , your my #
That's right , give them one #
Right which English monarch , I'm always getting the Monarch ones ,had a had a red hot poker shoved up his royal #
shoved up his royal backside ? #
This is an easy one here ,A , George the Fifth , B #
I'm ready #
or C , Edward the second #
It's C #
She does , I was gonna say this one #
how many concubine King David son of Solomon have to the nearest hundred ? #
A , ten , seven words for ea each concubine B , two hundred , a hundred and forty was , sixty concubine #
or C , a thousand , seven hundred wives or three , three hundred concubine #
Fucking hell he had seven hundred wives #
fucking hell , fucking hell #
Eight innit ? #
You've won , but if you can't you've got to put one at the bottom #
What's concubine ? #
What ? #
Yeah you got the answer though #
And how many fucking wives ? #
Seven hundred #
A thousand #
dirty bastard #
Fuck me they had no telly in those days , but that's fucking beyond a joke #
He must of been totally fucked #
two a night , fucking shit #
very nice #
A #
Jimmy Hendricks #
Yeah I know that #
No I did #
I said in the fanny #
Erotic #
What sex aid did the Tibetan monk invent ? #
A , the vibrator , B , the french tickler or C , crutchless knickers #
Tibetan monk I suppose that is , A , the vibrator , B , the french tickler or C , crutchless knickers #
No C , the crutchless knickers #
no B the french tickler #
Yes you did darling , sorry #
what's a french tickler ? #
It's one of those fucking ticklers innit ? #
It is innit ? #
A tickling stick , yeah #
Ha ha , squeeze , cough #
squeeze , cough #
Just give the player to your right #
Oh again #
you don't take one back , you don't take one back , just take another one #
I'll go B , but I reckon it's C #
Yeah and when they move they fucking move up and down don't they ? #
Fucking bookcase #
fucking bookcase #
I did shuffle them Jul #
there's so many of those #
You can have that one , how many you got ? #
What is a lipsy loop ? #
Tongue in and around the outside of a lovers mate , an inter-uterine device for contraception or a special type of horse race track ? #
Horse race track #
Mm lipsy loop #
It's B , bet you would of got this one wouldn't you ? #
What is D P ? #
A , D P's the penis , B , double poke , C , double penetration ? #
Fucking easy innit ? #
I said you would of got that one #
No it's not to me it's not #
the commissions of , of #
and pornography #
C #
What's that Jul ? #
A #
I haven't got a fucking M my love #
What , which famous writer has an obsession with his lover's farts ? #
James Joyce who wrote Ulysses , Kenneth Graham who wrote The Wind in the Willows #
or C Jeffrey Archer #
who wrote Cain and Abel #
No it's A #

Mm , toilets take a thrashing don't they darling ? #
There , ours there the last few days in it , those two being fucking bad #
Oh thank you darling , thank you for er , erm #
Fucking hell , I can't say that one to her can I ? #
ain't she ? #
Sorry about that #
B #
A mink #
Mm #
It's the mink that kills the er female innit ? #
After he's made love to her #
What's that ? #
Yeah Waddington's , cos we've always been saying #
ain't we ? #
What is a ? #
A , a #
yeah for a specific part of the body , B , a sex party or C , a device for separating dogs who get locked together during sex ? #
Yeah #

people won't say that though will they part #
, for two of them #
you'd part them wouldn't you ? #
You've got eight ? #
How many cards , how many you got Juls ? #
Got one more than you #
A #
Duke of ski pants #

Yeah #
If you were , if you were a castratie what would you do for a living ? #
A , look after a harem , B , cut up meat , or C , sing ? #
C #
is it cataramie that's what I said ? #
cataratie or something castratie er , or something , casteratie , casteratie #
It's A #
You cut , there's your card #
you are now mate , you only need one #
Good #
B #
Who was she ? #
No , a bit of a shaggy dogs story #
What a shaggy dogs story . #
Oh yeah , something #
Ah Julie knows that one #
What is a butterfly kiss ? #
what is a daisy pal ? #
A , having hairy buttocks , B , a prehistoric monster with large fingers #
or C , an Egyptian style of body painting ? #
Yeah , but er a butterfly kiss ,light feather , feathery kissing , kissing during mid #
or pattering of the skin with eye lashes ? #
Yeah #
Ears #
It's getting late mate #
it's fucking late mate #
it's getting late mate yeah there's better than my sandwiches , alright innit dinner ? #
I don't actually I'm not very good on films at all #
In which film does the Dustin Hoffman character has sex with both mother and daughter ? #
Actually I didn't fucking know that one #
You still didn't get it #
Mm #
Dustin Hoffman that was #
Midnight Cowboy , The Graduate , Rainman #
yes #
Rainman was the last one and he didn't have sex with her #
Very good , yeah #
What is a chin chin ? #
A , dispute in a Chinese marriage , #
rubbing the undersides of chins together or a toast ? #
A toast #
Fucking , what is a dead policeman ? #
What is a dead policeman ? #
Slows traffic #
What does a dead policeman do or something ? #
Fucking it slows , he's dead in't he ? #
Don't fucking moan when he's dead does it ? #
So have I #
Hanging from his fucking dick #
fucking monkey , yeah #
They say he was a big boy don't they ? #
No fucking hell it's not he's #
They reckon he was a big boy though don't they ? #
It's fucking twelve #
they reckon he had a big dick didn't he ? #
Cos every time he was fucking #
Robin Hood and Robin Hood , Robin Hood riding through the twang #
it was bad fucking balls #
You wanna fucking bet ? #
I can't get , I can't get the easy ones , I get the hard ones #
B #
yeah #
A rose #
Sunny yeah , sunny I think #
Sunny #
Butterfly as well is it ? #
I knew it was a flower , I said rose didn't I ? #
I haven't got that one did I ? #
Mm #
hang on #
hang on #
yeah #
hang on , yeah #
Whatever you say then Phil #
Give a player to your right one #
what ? #
Give a player to your right one #
Tough titties #
Swap one card with the player to your left #
What ? #
Fucking hell #
You're not my type darling #
Wait , change hands , swap all your cards with the player of your choice #
How many have you got ? #
How many you've got ? #
How many you've got ? #
Yeah #
Erm you've just swapped your cards too , swap your cards to the player on your left #
Shrivels when you're dead you soft cow #
when you , when you used to go down the beach and do fucking moonies with all the #
you can't find it #
I'll give my wife a chance thank you dear thank you dear #
next to Friday #
It's not though #
Well done darling that's your winner innit ? #
That's all you need now innit ? #
What let what's that ? #
No , I've got #
No I don't think so #
What do you need ? #
Good , I don't know which one to go for #
Eh ? #
The condom is a name the condom is named after A , single people living in condominium , B , the man who invented it Doctor Condom or C the Egyptian word for #
testings #
Yeah , you've got A , A , er that one as well what is a hermaphrodite or whatever it is ? #
A half man , half women , a man with two penises , a Greek goddess of love #
Half man , half woman yeah #
er something like #
that's yours #
Oh dear you've got it #
she gets #
Ain't you ? #
Two on one tit I'd expect #
C #
That's it #
fucking did get a decent hand #
Bad tempered that , bad tempered person here #
Clive James #
Who's the bloke Clive James ? #
Dick shit #
Put them in order for me #
You only have to talk quietly , it comes out so well doesn't it ? #
Come on Vicki darling come to daddy , good girl , Vicki , come on let's dance , come and sit with daddy we'll dance , yeah , come here #
What tea towel ? #
It's on top of the fridge #
it's on #
why it's up on top of the fridge #
Clifford , say hello , hello mummy #
and Aunty Shell and Uncle Phil #
Uncle Phil , no you don't want to eat it #
hello , don't eat it #
hello #
yeah #
Yeah , you can't hear nothing you idiot , go on then , okay let go , let go #
Good girl #
up you get #