# Oh Jesus Chri ! # Jean ! # Here's your breakfast , come on ! # Come on get up ! # It's after nine , it must be about twenty past to half nine here's your breakfast cu Christ get out the way , get out ! # Bloody dog ! # Jean ! # I got you cornflakes toast I didn't do an egg you've had enough was round there left another tape tape recorder . # She'll be round on f excuse me ! # She'll be round on Friday afternoon or Saturday some time I said we'd be here from four o'clock on Friday so I'll take it down to John's today then it's away to work I've got the rubbish in the bins right ? # Raymond took money out of your money , got cigarettes and a paper and the house is tidy so I'll get the twenty past ten bus later . # Have you no matches ? # She was saying that the shop she was in was selling the turkeys that we got , for three ninety nine I think it was a supermarket or somewhere was selling them # No three fifty . # Patch ! # Stop that ! # Fucking lighter ! # Have you got a light Jean ? # You should of bought pe oh there's some petrol under the sink I put paint thin thinners in this you know , stripper ? # I thought it would of blown or lit . # And this fucking Patch , get into the house ! # Get in ! # And stay there ! # Sit ! # There was a fella shot dead last night in sp er Don . # Do you remember the bar we went into that night with Sally and Perry ? # Remember the Saturday night over in east east Belfast ? # Erm and er and that Audrey or Aubrey and and nobody knew well he ran that bar . # He was the manager of that bar . # They U D A according to the T V . # Well they're keeping an open mind about it yeah but skin you I suppose he his ,I have all . # Jean I'd fucking do it to you ! # No but # I mean # You've been in bed for eight o'clock last night it's now nine what's that , thirteen odd hours ? # Ask me the time I was up at ? # No no , no no no no no , ask me what time I was up at ? # Half five this morning letting the dogs out in the back so I said to hell with it , I'm not going to bed again ! # Well I slept all night Jean . # You know what I had this morning for my breakfast ? # One , two one , two , three , four four seven oat cakes ! # You know the triangle shaped ones ever whatever ? # Seven of those . # So I ate a whole packet all of them ! # Ha ! # Ha ha ha ! # then Jean , you'll need proper su so you'll need sunglasses . # Window open ? # Does the li does the light not hurt your eye ! # Do you want the fan on ? # England , Scotland and Wales and er showers here . # Lovely weather for ducks ! # Ah , they thought it was the cleaning head . # Apparently they thought it was the cleaning heads by the , the heads of it , I don't know , I know nothing about it . # Well according to counter , that's still going . # gonna get a couple of he ah ah tapes that we had ruined of our own I said no . # So she took the first lot back you know , the two boxes # and gave us a another two boxes . # Ha ! # No she bought a second lo a second twenty lot of twenty and I give her the first lot back probably . # No well she just , just to say they're not starting to count again . # So I've now got from Monday , twenty . # And each lasts approximately forty five minutes . # So if I take one down today no I'd need a couple wouldn't I ? # Well I'm taking four anyway to see what happens and the booklet . # You have to put a book in first , that I was first to speak this morning , you were second and then it'll be either Kelly Ann or Stephen next . # But I don't put yo I don't put every time they speak , put your names in once on each page is enough . # So if I start another tape I think I've to put their names in first right . # Cos the listener will be able to tell who is speaking . # Raymond said he was sick this morning . # Mhm I said oh he was sick last night and sick this morning . # Some sort of # well he said it was like green bile ! # Wasn't that a cle a they were pouring in th in the # on the bucket ? # Oh that'll be , well have the both of them then except my underwear and socks What do you want done , before I go out ? # Well I've gotta get shaved and ba you know those dark blue trousers ? # to leave them in the cleaners ? # Get them out for Easter I mean white lines up the seams # Where's the bi # Eh . # Enjoy that breakfast . # Do you eat all the toast ? # Sorry , what am I eat all the toast ! # I think I'll put on a jumper today , or a pullover it'll be cold coming out of John's tonight . # What boots ? # Not at all . # You know when you put those boots on and the string rather because they they are what they they look like with the they're called boots . # .Ha ! # Wha what date is today ? # right . # Rita returns home in Coronation Street er # The Golden Girls on for half an hour . # Yes . # Er all else on ! # Oh This is your Life you like that . # There you are there's an article on Easter eggs right Cadbury's Buttons the verdict of that is very , a good design , reasonably good value cost per hundred grams is eighty seven point five P . # Cadbury's Roses verdict neat box but too much packaging and they cost a hundred and one P for a hundred grams . # Cadbury's Creme Eggs over large box too much packaging hundred grams , they cost a hundred and nine . # Rowntree's Rolo verdict clever use of packaging good value cost per hundred grams eighty eighty P . # Rowntree's Smarties verdict small box and packaging kept to a minimum , good value eighty three pence per hundred grams ! # And Quality Street Egg verdict , the box makes the eggs appear much larger than it actually is cost , a hundred gram , ninety nine . # The Rowntree's , no Christ , you're not listening ! # Rowntree's Smarties is eighty three Cadbury's button is eighty seven point five and then Rowntree's Rolo is eighty eight the dearest is a hundred and nine P for the Cadbury's Creme Eggs . # And it cost two pound thirty five for a hundred and thirty six gram egg and two forty gram Creme Eggs . # No , couple of draws . # People prefer a couple of big bars o # Cadbury's Cadbury's Milk Tray . # The what ? # Best place for him Jean ! # No place for a dull ! # It's not a matter what I would like Jean , it's what the hell is in ! # I would like a soda baking soda ! # Mm ? # It doesn't matter . # teacher admitted fifty three victims . # Hurting fifty three victims ! # He's a mild mannered grandfather who accused of murdering thirty five children and eighteen young woman across the country over twelve years . # The youngest was a boy of eigh eight the of twenty two . # Christ , an innocent man earlier on was forced to co confess was , was e was executed for some of the killings that he did ! # Another committed suicide while waiting trial . # The victims , many of them homeless , were blinded and torn apart in a frenzy of violence . # He enticed them with a promise of dinner and a chance to watch his video . # As soon as they saw a lonely person , they had to drag him off to the woods Jesus Christ ! # Here's the son of Kirk Douglas has been jailed for five days after kicking a policeman ! # They say he's a pig's ear queer ! # Well he didn't , he's in he's inside for five well days anyway . # You know your woman that started all the controversy about the eggs ? # Edwina Currie . # She was offered a job in the government and she turned it down ! # It says because her boss would of been Kenneth Clarke is it ? # And er apparent eh Kenneth Clarke , apparently they don't get on . # Yeah . # Your man at what ? # Who was ? # Oh the big fella from Saudi Air ? # And what about him ? # Well you should of told him you were fucking burning the place ! # Why ? # Good grief , how could you ! # Well we're living like fucking ants two up and two down , outside bogs ! # Jesus Christ ! # It's alright for some ah ! # No wonder you're trying to # What and you've no back yard ! # No space for hanging clothes , no space for walking ! # I certainly I ha # ever should be er measured by the street map of the city of Belfast # for all the cost it's not such a big place anyway . # Excuse me ! # Mm . # I did . # Well like Christie's Manor had to show me out of it her and her her daughter ! # Cos she said to me she said Christ thirty years in Sandy Road you get lost in it ! # It # Dotty . # Councillor Albert . # Dotty did ? # what Diddy's friends ? # What Street ? # Oh yes , directly beside the old house ? # Oh yes , Hannah . # Oh yeah . # Edy ? # Mhm . # I remember coming in here . # have you ? # It was hell fire and those preachers none of your high church there ! # Well that was after Albert giving out # load of shit ! # He was a little rogue ! # Albert . # He was , he stole the fucking ey ornaments out of instruments out of the Salvation Army saw them in his house one day , up in the loft and there was enough musical instruments to start up twenty bands ! # Accordions , trumpets a bugles , everything ! # His daughter was a nice she was a nice she was home a couple of times , I met her . # Very pleasant , awfully polite , but very pleasant She used some of those jars ah ? # She used , used jump it we could put them on her cupboards , you know , make her something a bit bigger , they're gonna get that off there . # And sh what's in those coloured bags there ? # That well that's the third for him . # Aye . # I says , and I says # Buck . # She was out yesterday about oh sorry , he's querying the arrears , he said he wasn't there for what , two months ? # Which he wasn't ,and true , he was living with me . # She wants to know where she's living I said , oh I know where she's living she's in she's now got a property down in I says and I , I be honest er ooh she said to me , yeah sorry oh who are you ? # Are you his father ? # I says no I'm his brother-in-law but I know all his details and I said , he wasn't here ! # And no matter how little re rebate he gets it'll be a help to him , why should he pay for something he didn't get ? # Alright ? # Then I said , have you got him a house yet ? # And she says it's strange , but there's no movement in the Conway Estate there's usually a good turnover of people who're moving in and out . # Wait a minute it's no good there is no movement . # There usually is a , a , a , vacant houses but at the minute it's at a standstill . # Right so that means if there's nobody moving out , John can't move in ? # He neither filling another form , I says well I'll fill it in tonight for him he'll sign it and if I post it tonight you'll probably get it tomorrow . # I won't be in the office she says until er May the fifth and nobody else will deal with it so there you are . # This is what , April the what , the fifteenth , the sixteenth ? # What is it ? # Yeah , well there you are . # Yesterday was the fourteenth , it is the fifteenth . # What ? # He didn't , he didn't fill it in . # Ah he says , what about talking money ? # But he doesn't want to talk money he's hoping to get that bitch to come back and live with him and she doesn't like us ! # Well you can't blame her . # Jean , we don't even have see them you know what I mean ? # He doesn't have to pass our door to get the bus stop , he doesn't have to pass our door to get to the schools # or the children . # He doesn't have to pass this way to go to the shops . # It will be handy for me though . # Well Christ well what did you get yesterday you found her clothes , her trousers and her knickers ! # She must have been staying there at the weekend ! # Aye get her end away he's , he's no scruples ! # Here , put these clothes away . # Did you phone Kate ? # No , well phone her see how she is . # Now if she says why we were not here or say say she tells you she called on Saturday and we were out just say to her Raymond was drinking stout ! # Fuck her I was drinking stout on Saturday night and normally don't do it because we've simply no money !on the vodka and say it wasn't even enough to buy a carry out but don't say it unless she says she was here ! # No . # She mentioned the silver teapot to John . # I said to him we made her a cup of coffee out of a teapot that was bought and she says she was talking about it . # I didn't want John thinking that I said he would get her one . # In that top one ? # Can you not put them in the bottom of the cupboard and get rid of that bag ? # Jean , that's what drawers are for !everything , look at that dir lo look at that now ! # I can take some down and put them in the cupboard . # Are you sure Jean there's not a box of soap in there ? # There is . # What ? # No it's not the soap in that box is lying down in the coal hole . # The soap out of the box is lying in the coal hole , the empty box is in the bin . # Hey listen you see these er the stuff you have in that cupboard there , the hot press . # Now , you'll have to go through it right ? # There's no use in keeping things that you're not gonna use okay ? # Now you , if you get rid of a lot of , of a lot of the rubbish right ? # Do you realize how quickly your clothes would dry in there in the hot press ? # No serious , in summer , it's alright now good wind blow you can get the clothes dried in a reasonable time but in the winter you can't # right ? # They would even dry quicker than if you put them over the clothes horse cos that's what those slats are for . # There's no use keeping things you don't need Jean , and you don't know anybody that needs them ! # John never mind him ! # Ha for God's sake Jean if she's gonna move back with him she'll not want your stuff ! # That's why she won't move back in with him , cos she says there's too much stuff there reminds him reminds her of her his ma or your ma . # at the time Jean . # I don't want to ge to get involved , but you just can't help and I don't want any of this shit out ! # Now watch this # And from what I've heard about her she's always her mouth now ! # There oh Christ ! # Remember me at the weekend to look I think it's only fuse right ? # Now if it's only a fuse like mine I'll get him one and we'll be able to get the computer back down cos er the like right ? # Now these Easter eggs , I hope nobody's touching them ! # This table here what're you gonna do with it ? # Right then we'll have to move that bed a bit . # You'll have to get those books out the corner , you get up get up get washed and get dressed and we'll do it now please ? # Come on ! # Do you feel any better this morning ? # You were like something hanging over the edge of a nest last night ! # You didn't know whether you were coming or going ! # Well , you get those boys to help you today . # I'm fri I , I don't care Jean , no argument ! # If I'm not here you're in charge and that's it ! # Right now what do I do ? # This way now I lift this side , that'll be it , can you lift that ? # Don't strain yourself when I lift , you lift Jean , put your hand under there ! # There right , now is that better ? # No sweet wrappings . # them on there . # Would you not be better throwing some of , you've read them ? # You put the alarm clock onto the bed alright now let me see will it go in ? # Ah , I dare say there in that corner like that by the side of the now where are we putting these egg boxes away ? # Can you make a space over there ? # I don't want Is that the bigger box ? # Have you decided yet , who's getting what ?get going , where are all these going then ? # for Jean next # Mother's Day you're , we're all still here I said wear this and I'm sorry but # I know , I know that love . # You know that I would do it properly for if I had to . # Now # don't go making this into your Jean okay ? # You don't need that ! # and you don't need that rather here I think these are all Melissa's books . # I think it I think they're thickies and they'll wanna read something else ! # Have you had been in to see # have you been in to see Mrs ? # Which ? # Aye . # Over there a across the street here ? # Right . # Thomas who ? # Oh yes . # Why did he knock them down ? # What # Oh yes , that's right oh still religious is he ? # And a how's the chest , serious ? # Paul who ? # Oh next door . # Well as long as she's okay . # Mm . # God help her ! # Oh the usual bicycle . # And I'm . # Oh I took our books down to the library today and there's two in three of got don't let them use my razor Jean ! # They were shearing sheep with it ! # There's another five million things for the Jean ! # Do you remember that black stone ring ? # That Johnny had is it still here ? # I think it's time Jean oh no that's mine don't let anybody touch that ! # What's that there , that's a good'un it's not as not as heavy as I , feel the weight of that you feel that . # Feel the weight go on . # Now we've got a buyer for that one at home well two for pound help to buy you a bed . # Kelly Ann the other day wanted to know where my where was the ring you got married in Raymond ? # Yeah she said Aunt Jean tried to get me to work , but no ! # There's an Irish pound coin you'd get about ninety odd ninety odd P for that . # Right now that's slightly better . # Another thing Jean you can get the boys today is to clear their drawers out if there's that they don't would you bring the plate down if there's clothes # If there's clothes that what am I gonna , if there's clothes they don't want Jean into the bin ! # There's no use giving them away cos they're rags ! # When does Soggy go away again ? # A fortnight ? # Jean ? # If I hear any more talk about Soggy , what would you been doing if you were ? # And how do you clean these boots properly ? # I don't know if he's gonna start it again , but I stopped him bloody ! # This is what I was thinking of throwing out Jean . # Do you know those articles John got you ? # The wee plates ? # Well we never use them and I've another reason for wanting rid of them . # Ah ah ah ! # Hiya Kylie , Hiya Paul ! # Beautiful ! # Beautiful ! # Aha ? # You run eight miles ? # Jesus Christ ! # You sick in the head or something ? # Where do you run ? # Jean . # Don't hear music . # Aye . # Thomas Thomas . # That's heavy ! # Jesus ! # It's in the house sleeping . # Yeah , better you than me ! # Ah it's sweet enough , I saw you coming in with a black one . # Aha . # Right . # Yes . # Aha . # Aha . # Aye . # And did you take him in ? # Yeah . # Oh aye . # Aha . # I hope she does love . # Aha . # Yes . # Yeah . # Lovely . # Aha . # Hello lovely ! # On your way t on your way to Disneyland ? # Right Paul . # Oh wrong book ! # Nearly the end . # Well there's one tape completed Jean oh it's only the side of one . # We this the first side of the # first tape . # Well paint thinners or white spirits doesn't light as well as petrol in these lighters ! # What ? # I saw one on top of the bed I don't know where I put the other one It's down here Jean . # God ! # Have you tried under the bed Jean ? # But Is it under the bed ? # Well have you looked ? # Where did you get that one ? # Well I put one on top of the bed ! # But I don't know what I did with it . # Jean . # I was talking about Paul there . # He says last night and never took or anything . # Well that's what I thought , but anyway ! # They're putting shorts on him ! # There's your slipper there for fu You finished in the bathroom ? # I need a dump . # Ha ! # That's one thing running at your own speed ! # Ah Jean ! # I was reading in a book the other day that if you get a bicarbonate of sodas , that's baking soda . # And it takes the stains out of no , can it not get paint stains ? # Right , where's this morning's paper and I go to the bogs ? # I shouldn't be here I should be away on the bus . # Oh God ! # Oh ! # Ah no Heather I'll throw them down there you'll have to get lighted the fire try and some right . # Twenty Barclay please , and a box of Swan ? # How much is that ? # How much ? # Is there any more in there oh no that's right there . # Packet of those Duracell exactly ! # One . # Oh no , no that's more than reasonable good day , thank you ! # Cuts where ? # In your gums ? # Oh ca that's only where they had to be you put the wee rubber mouthpiece in you see to keep your mouth open so that's easy to open your mouth , sometimes people clamp their mouths closed and then they can't get their teeth out . # Right have you got your tickets ? # Lift that book . # Right you gonna carry that for me ? # You don't mind ? # Now , are your tickets down in the ? # Right . # Okay . # Right . # Well let's go . # Right Kelly Ann ! # Say it again ? # No ! # R O B E R T . # What's that you say ? # Ah ! # What are saying ? # Go ahead . # Oh very good ! # Very , very good that is ! # Er , I would do those er black wait a minute ! # Black , black black , black , black , yes . # Oh green . # Just er oh a light green . # Have you go oh here we are . # Very good ! # Very , very good ! # I like that ! # You see # you see the rifles ? # You see these there ? # Now , now not not that part there at the bottom . # But you see that there # brown # cos that was wood , and that was wood , that was wood , that was wood , and that was wood . # So it's dark , no what am I saying ! # Er that there's brown . # See that part ? # The # or the butt # and they would be # er , no well er , let's see have you a dark grey ? # No ? # No ! # Well let's see . # And that part there would be brown , up to there . # Do that part first , brown , to see what it's like . # And that part with , and do that black , yeah . # But leave those wee rings out . # The bayonet ? # Let me see . # Do do do that oh let me see . # Aha . # Hold on a minute . # Now , hold on a minute . # Well do that part brown first , and that part brown up to there . # And do , aye , you do , they've got the rest of it grey , yes . # That's brown , dark brown there and that there's # grey . # That there ? # No , don't worry about that in the meantime . # Let me see . # Very good ! # Yes . # That's also very good . # Well # well , that's okay . # Now , what kind of an address is that ? ? # What ? # No , but you put Donegall before road . # It's D O N E G A L L , Donegall . # D O , what ? # Stephen , how long have you lived here ? # It's , you've lived , er you lived in the , all your day ! # It's D O N E G A L L . # Mm . # And the same ? # Well that's okay . # That's good ! # What does it say you have to do ? # Alright . # A skeleton . # Mhm . # No . # Mhm . # What ? # Mhm . # Right . # Mhm . # What do yous wanna eat ? # Nothing ? # You're tired . # Night . # I'm easy . # It's up to yourselves if you don't wanna eat . # I'll not force yous . # So make up your mind kiddies . # Christ that was on the way ! # Yeah . # I don't know what happened to it . # Stephen is that fire alright ? # Right . # Sara ! # Stop barking ! # Get into the back ! # Sara ! # Sara ! # Stop that growling neither ! # What ? # There's something , what ? # No . # They want to hang on or something . # What you doing ? # If you're going out to play in that street , it's cold ! # Take you're er # What ? # Oh Jesus ! # I wouldn't wear it ! # Did you like that story I told you today ? # No . # No I got another job . # Packed it in . # Gave me a lift . # And then I , and then I started a to work for an asphalt company . # Clerk . # Office worker . # No . # It was down at the harbour in Belfast . # Plenty of rocks . # Oh no , no , I was more careful about sandwiches . # What ? # I dare I see him . # I would dare I see him . # I would honestly . # No . # No , no , no ! # I would like to say , or write to him to apologize to her but she's probably dead . # I dunno . # She was sh Kelly , get a shovel of coal on . # She was er maybe in her early fifties then and oh sure that was er nineteen oh eighty five , eighty five , # ninety five . # Thirty , thirty odd years ago . # Thirty nine years ago . # Fifty , sixty , seventy , oh she might be still living . # Now you put the fire out the las so set it all nice and easy . # No , now that's throwing it on ! # You set the shovel on top of the coal that's already there and tilt it and slide the other coal onto it . # Stephen . # Now put that light that fire again with . # dangerous apart from that thing it is dangerous . # Don't you's ever try it . # Right . # Set that on easy now . # Set it down in the fire . # That's right . # Now slide it . # On you go . # What about that . # I'll teach you something yet . # There's the two the pieces of coal on the shovel . # Put that on , now that's it . # Aye . # Right , what was it ? # Do you know that , her brother # in that series ? # He used to be in # Neighbours . # He still can't act ! # Steve , . # Why do you have to shout at your dog ? # Is he sick ? # You see the way his eyes are red or going pretty dull he needs wormed . # He needs worming tablets ! # There's worms in him ! # Mm ? # Didn't give him enough . # Apparently when their eyes go dull it's they need wormed . # Look at mine . # Look at Kelly Ann's hers are black . # Can't talk now please ! # Do you like her ? # He's shouting for her . # We were down in the bar , up the club on Saturday night your Aunt Jean and Raymond and I and this fella beside us was drunk and he put his arm round this woman's neck , you know the thing , what about ? # And he hit her , sort of a , you know , a slap in the back but her glasses were loose they fell hit the steel base of the table crack ! # Her glasses fell off her head and hit the metal base of the table and smashed in two . # I think I told you . # There was something argument afterwards ! # Where you going Kelly Ann ? # You're not cold now ? # You not need a coat on ? # Do you know you've been off school from what ? # Last Friday ? # And you've been out one day . # Were you out on Sunday ? # Or Saturday ? # Were you not with er your mate what do you call # her ? # Lynn ? # Oh the boyfriend's ba ? # Oh she's got # a boyfriend ? # What about wee James who give you the wo ring ? # Albert's gonna kill you ! # We should deal with your daddy when he's drunk . # Throw the towel over him and left him . # You could drag him into the den . # I don't like him now . # In the black jumper . # Is that what you call him ? # Jerk you should call him ! # Get that dog in the back . # Go on get into the back Sarah you fucking rotten ! # Get into the back ! # Get them in the ba , get her in the back ! # Jesus Christ I would kill you ! # That's scandalous , that ! # There's something wrong with that dog . # It's probably got cancer # or something . # Oh Chri something's crawled up it and died ! # Now keep it in there ! # Any Penguins left , no ? # That's eight , yeah . # There . # Right , B . # What time is it ? # Six twenty . # Five thirty five . # It's the fifteenth of the fourth ninety two . # Five thirty five P M . # Belfast . # So that's right . # T V . # T V there . # T V show . # B B C . # Now oh Jesus ! # So aha , and # seven P L , . # What you whispering for ? # Kelly ? # What are you whispering for ? # What's wrong ? # What picture ? # Oh , what , what book is it ? # Oh ! # He was born where ? # Who ? # Watch # her ! # You're gonna hurt her ! # Now you'll did he hurt your leg ? # Are there any biscuits left at all ? # Is there a Digestive ? # Get us one . # No , get us two . # I'm feeling greedy . # Don't forget , I won't be home by about eight o'clock tonight . # No , I don't like anything in that cupboard . # And a handful of baking soda , tonight ask your Aunt Jean to make it lovely . # No . # That's for your daddy . # I want yous to be quiet , I wanna hear the news . # Please . # Ah , don't do that to your daddy's , give us that . # Cos your daddy needs that soda bread . # Don't tempt me . # Go on ! # Ah don't ! # Don't ! # ! # Come on wrap it up for you daddy . # Wrap it up ! # Ah . # What about this ? # Yeah . # What ? # No . # I know . # What ? # Well you were hungry a way down there but you would make good child . # Well he's good . # Ah , but he's solid . # Be quiet ! # Now hear this ! # Mm . # Here , put that in the er sink please ? # I'll wash it in a minute . # Thank you . # I have to . # You watch what your daddy say there . # Remem remember what daddy said about that # main road . # Did it ? # Ho ho ! # No . # Jesus ! # You're getting tall Kelly Ann . # You are indeed . # One of these days you'll lead me across the road . # Look at that lava , look ! # Wouldn't like to put your foot in that . # You could cook a chicken in that in about three seconds ! # Lift it out . # Look ! # There's a house destroyed with it . # Dear ! # Dear ! # I wouldn't sit there . # What ? # Jesus ! # Aha . # Right love . # See you later . # What ? # Am I doing that ? # Three coats ! # Oh God ! # Ha ! # Gorgeous ! # That girl who was in the elevator plunged on the ninth floor she plunged a thousand feet to the sub-basement or there's massive big springs on it apparently , I read about it . # Only read a wee bit . # Mhm . # Only got it that there's news . # That should be in my daily . # Oh ! # You should be getting out here ? # I've , so then you're gonna be sacked ! # Have to aim at them , what time and you know things that You're alright , don't worry ! # There's no # The kids ! # No ! # It's the people's . tell you in a minute . # Have you put your age down ? # Alright , thirty nine right . # Anything else ? # Belfast . # What's the matter ? # Fucking er # Well # Chris De Burgh ? # Ah ! # Who was ? # The dog ? # Can a # Aye . # It's er they got fed . # Oh , alright . # Better go up and see Raymond . # Have you got ? # No post ? # Is that , no letters ? # Thank Christ ! # Sit ! # Now you stay there ! # There's your ? # Now stay there ! # What have we got for them , er Jean , for my tea ? # Lovely ! # What about you son ? # What happened to you ? # I hear you got an injection . # Ha ! # Did you feel it ? # They're not ? # Oh Jesus ! # Aha . # The girl came this morning . # Said collect it on Friday night or Saturday some time . # Aha . # Can you not go to sleep ? # Do you want # a cigarette ? # You needn't go into work tomorrow now . # Bollocks ! # If you , to hell with the money son if you're not well ! # To put it bluntly . # I hear he said you have your ticket to health you weren't gonna get paid . # I'm only just glad we can't I dunno then son . # You're okay now . # Try and get a rest . # Feed the dogs . # Well you got enough today . # Where's Brandy ? # Aye . # Oh aye ! # You're getting nothing ! # You see where I cut the Busy Lizzie . # I almost chopped it . # Well he did more than er cut it . # Now you see these smaller ones ? # Ruth's cuttings . # Well I put them Jes they're still coming out of it ! # What is the point ! # I put these in hoping and like , hoping that they'll grow . # Those ones there , the three of them and that'll make it , you know fill the pot . # And then , if they do take Jean # No , no put plenty of bacon ! # If you don't want it . # Oh well that's good . # Good ! # Good ! # And what do , I saw Willie . # He says , well you're a Kelly and Stephen said th didn't say read the paper . # I think her are all down in the er # Aha . # The rest are so there's about , a hell of a credit to King's Hall ! # Yep . # You want out Patch ? # Well you're going out ! # Go on ! # If you wanna stay out , stay out ! # Stay there ! # Do you want your dinner Brandy ? # Mhm . # Aha . # Look at the dogs trying to get in Jean . # Look ! # Under the fence . # Look ! # Our dog . # Look ! # Patch ! # Nothing like dogs though . # It was in there this morning , in a way , it's got , got out somewhere . # What ? # I fell asleep today again . # Do you want your dinner Brandy ? # And I hope you eat this . # The Sun'll be free soon down at the er # That up town shop . # What ? # Well she , what ? # Her womb ? # Fuck sake ! # Don't scare me Jean ! # Tell me you're pregnant , I'll be looking for a camel ! # And a star ! # Cos you know what they say ? # There's no camels come and play in my garden . # And as long as you're I don't care what star you're following you're not bringing those camel through my garden ! # Aye . # It'll be me outside looking for star . # Shut up ! # Go on ! # Get away over there Patch ! # Patch ! # Get over there ! # Get in there ! # Get , get the hell ! # Go on ! # You go and get yourself . # Go on ! # Patch ! # Oh where's the where's the paper ? # Get in ! # Here ha ! # Come here Patch ! # Patch ! # Come here ! # Get into the house ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Tease the paper . # Call him again . # Come on Patch ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Well he's not getting any ! # Was he sick ? # How's Harry getting on with your driving . # Good ! # Call him now Jean , the other dog . # Oh boy ! # Do you want to go out Brandy ? # What do you want , you want your dinner ? # Go and get your dinner . # Go on ! # Here ! # Give him his dinner . # Call him over . # Oh God ! # No , love . # No ! # Just the baking soda . # The baking soda . # I've stuffed myself with bread in your brother's today . # When he was at work . # See that soldier that was killed in England ? # His father had a heart attack when he heard the news ! # I know , ho . # Ah . # You know what the girl was telling me this morning ? # I do . # Aye . # Please . # Jean , one of our interviewers , er the girls was interviewing a man yesterday # and he asked her to take off all her clothes ! # Ha ! # Fuck off ! # Fuck the way off , you ! # Big git ! # Did you hear that ? # One of the interviewers went into a house yesterday and asked her to take off all her clothes ! # Here ! # Here ! # I better let that put your feet up Raymond . # Like , go away and I get my dinner ! # Jean , keep them away from that . # Oh but I need you to tell him because of he'll , he'll wanna he'll wanna talk to me . # Here Patch ! # When ? # Who ? # Right . # You better get up the stairs and tell Johnny what's happening . # Oh ! # You sure you're okay son ? # Now you got fed this morning Patch . # Excuse me ! # Ah # What are they doing Johnny ? # No ,thi , no not yet . # How the hell can they say only when he fucking hear him coming down the stairs ! # Balls ! # Get down ! # Get down Patch ! # Oh she's a con man . # What's that on top of the speakers ? # On the television ? # What is it Jean ? # Oh it's alright . # It's only a leaflet in the cigarettes . # Jean ! # They'll be no more of this ! # You tell if you see him tonight , in future , now it's not right ! # It's not right and I have to lie for him ! # It's not right and to the wee fella . # He's behaving civil and I , that's not my form to do that . # And I'm not gonna do it any more ! # No . # The dog . # A thirteen year old Belfast school girl swallowed seventy to eighty paracetamol tablets probably in the my Christ ! # Because her mother , she had an argument with her mother when they , er she wa she was caught smoking . # She died of liver failure . # My God ! # Mm . # Yes . # She's , is that your coffee ? # I'm not sure . # Oh he makes . # Ah . # What's he got under there ? # Are you going down to John's tomorrow or Friday ? # I told him Friday . # Say no . # Jean , that er antique fair should be on this month . # Do you wanna # I would imagine that it's very soon . # Should be near enough next Saturday . # I would say so . # Ah , the first Saturday in every month . # I'm supposed to be going on the third . # Aye , maybe that's what it is . # Bum bum , bum bum bum ! # Urgh ! # God ! # I'm tired . # I don't like your man there , that politician ! # Say he's very hot tempered . # Ah ! # Aargh ! # Patch ! # Patch ! # Come on ! # Good dog ! # Come on ! # Sit up ! # Come on ! # Up here ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Up ! # No . # Don't touch that ! # Stop that ! # Stop it ! # Stop it Patch ! # Give me the mike you Leave it ! # Get that out of your mouth ! # Fuck you ! # Don't touch it ! # Be a good dog now . # Where's my pen ? # Who's outside Patch ? # Patch ! # Who's outside ? # Eh ? # What's out there ? # Mhm . # Why , is that mine you're using ? # What did you # Well the # Watch the end of it . # Ah ? # What ? # Wait till the end of this . # You needed # Them are in the # Yeah . # They're supposed to be lethal . # They don't take sides . # Trying to keep the two sides apart . # Ah ah ah ! # Thank you Raymond ! # I barked at him this morning and he barked back . # woof woof ! # Miaow ! # Miaow ! # Right . # Oh ! # Look at that Jean ! # What is it ? # Lava , molten lava from a vol volcano . # So if it's , if it was cold this morning then why is it so hot now ? # Because i it's cold on the top warm in the bottom around the middle , and then it started to move again . # And there's stuff coming from the behind # coming from . # Excuse me ! # What for ? # Take your time with that . # Give me a cigarette there Jean ? # Bloody matches ! # I can't drink without lighting a cigarette . # You can't drink without a cigarette ? # Sometimes , yeah . # Yeah , I know . # Here . # Right dog ! # Good dog ! # Who's in that bar in the Rosie erm who do you see ? # You'll see the girls . # If they did report a rape and they'd told him the woman opposite , at the top last night er , next week come back . # Their walkie talkies break down ! # Their cars break down ! # What ? # Need more than that . # How much would you need # Well see , they're twenty to three , right ? # No , no , no . # I need to give him one . # Aye . # Oh aye ! # Yeah . # I saw the fella , no , he's in your mind . # Look at that ! # A fella paid ten million pound for that painting today ! # Ah look , look at him , fat ! # Shouldn't really have that o th , all that . # He's dead mind you , is , er it's all like hundreds of years and years ago . # Th the owner ? # Oh aye ! # Look ! # Somebody offered him five million , the owner of it , and he turned it down and got ten million . # Lovely ! # Look at that ! # Oh ! # This programme coming on is about people have bad dreams and all , and walk in their sleep and By Jesus ! . # The same thing a little while ago . # No . # He's got that say the road name . # Terrorists aren't they # Oh has Johnny still got it ? # But I don't know if there's anything # Oh ! # Remind me to ask him in the morning for it . # I'll go up now . # Jean , I know it was windy today . # It was a lovely day ! # Can't you get them cleaner ? # I haven't got a decent pair of shoes you know ! # Mhm . # Did you do them ? # Did you do them ? # You know that dirty , wash them with something . # Well that's the way women should be ! # They should be slaves ! # As you were put on this earth for , to see to men's needs ! # Earned us money for drinking ! # Make our dinners , make our beds , and put your arms round us in time of need , and cuddle us . # Well to hell with women ! # Yous live longer than men Jean , so men should # be getting er # Well , do I take them off ? # Oh sorry ! # Take them off . # I can't disturb the dog . # I can't disturb the dog . # Looks really # Not who's near the road ? # No , no no . # Are you asleep ? # Are you sleeping there or what ? # He doesn't know he's being filmed . # Wait till you see what happened . # He's away to sleep again . # Yeah , we'll watch that Jean . # Jesus ! # Yeah , when Sylvia comes in you go downstairs they're in behind her . # Put the pope on . # I see make my monies not out you fucker ! # Jean . # Stop giggling ! # He wants out . # Where do you wanna go ? # Aye . # They know about it . # Here . # That's funny ! # That's like in Charlie's there the other day he was sleeping . # Aye , he's not on it . # No post today ? # Well there's another fifty P # Come on Patch ! # No ! # What's that ? # Good dog ! # Good dog ! # . # Come on ! # Get up ! # Patch ! # Get away from that ! # Come on ! # Full of er , matches are in this . # I think if I get up at half five in the morning Jean , I'll go to the park . # Oh ! # They put in the er lighting system in in the Donegal Road . # Mhm . # Patch ! # Is that fire okay Jean ? # Oh ! # Patch , my toe ! # Stop it ! # You're not doing my shoes with a black after # Yeah but # But this kind of # What about all the dirt in the tow a a and the cloth then Jean ? # Where's all the black marks you wanna get out of them ? # You buff your shoes and the finishing touches with a very soft cloth and that's not soft . # Oh I see . # Take those shoes off . # What's that Jean . # Where do you wanna go ? # I'd like you to change your name . # Oh , wait till I get sa I saw them . # They're very good Jean ! # Oh they'll be very good ! # Oh yes ! # Saying , that we're needing new , you can only get a good shoe , and I got a wee good shoe . # No love . # Mm . # You see brown , that brown will go with grey or a , or a dark colour . # You bloody tread down and # What are you going on about Steven ? # another , or that colour . # Looks a lot like grey in colour . # Yes mam ! # And go and wash your hands well Jean . # Wash them very well . # What Jean ? # Jean ! # What did you say ? # No it's the best er medicine for you . # You come in and I'll do it . # Excuse me ! # Aye , will you leave that Jean . # Oh aye . # Don't , er you want these on the market , what do you think ? # They're lovely ! # Jeez , they are indeed ! # What size are they ? # Christ ! # Mhm . # Exactly ! # Exactly ! # Mhm . # Mhm . # Where's the cigarettes ? # Are you not sitting down son ? # Oh ! # You're going to get pissed ! # Can I have er are worse things to do than getting # Jean . # I mean , if you stay sober . # You can join your Boy Scouts . # Give us a light Jean . # Give us a light . # Do you wanna see them ? # Jesus ! # He's only worn them in ! # I don't think they'll fit Willie but they're too tight for him . # All they need is a , a lick of polish . # Now no more lies for them it's Oh you better get a big sheet of newspaper . # How do you feel Raymond ? # Knackered ? # Oh aye , aye , aye ! # Let me , come here Jean , let me see ! # They're Willie's . # What are the T-shirts like Jean ? # You better get a sheet of newspaper Jean , old newspaper because that'll fly all over the floor . # What th what is it ? # Today's ? # Oh ! # I was down at the library today . # Mhm . # On the T tonight it says there was a man started who started only started to do the pools , Raymond er , six months ago # won two million ! # A record two million ! # What , in the name of Jesus , would you not do with million ? # You know what I'd do Jean ? # First of all , I would er buy a chest freezer then I would # go to the supermarket and I would bung it of the best of stuff . # Then I'd go down the town buy us all clothes then , you and I would go out for a private dinner Jean . # And I would buy you the most # er , elegant piece of jewellery that I could find . # You deserve it ! # Putting up with us all these years ! # Damn little money ! # And then we'd all go on holiday . # Then , move house . # Out of the ghetto . # Ah ? # With two million ? # Oh , four times over ! # The man wants to remain anonymous , and quite right ! # Do you think I would , wouldn't put an X on a football coupon maybe they do . # I must start . # Your life would never , your life would never be the same , but Jean yo yo you live in this country , you live in dilly forever . # Get nothing . # If I found you'd won a hundred thousand pound I'd kidnap you ! # Er yeah , please . # Jean . # There was a programme on today you'd have loved it ! # It was about an old people's home # but they were all stars er , in their day , you know ? # Stage and screen , you know , and radio ? # Ah God ! # Some of them were a sorry sight ! # It was very sad . # Yeah , one of them's I think she was in her early eighties she , they put on a Christmas party and she sang . # It was good ! # I enjoyed it . # One he said . # What's down there ? # He's gonna get himself killed . # Was Micky in work today ? # Do you work with him ? # Did you tell him you weren't too well ? # That's a stupid advertisement ! # He'd give up his job for a pint ! # Pint of beer ! # Jesus ! # What he's gonna get on the dole money , he'll not drink too much . # What you ask yourself is Raymond , how long does it take to charge up again . # Probably overnight . # Thanks love . # What's oh ! # Is Benny Hill on tonight ? # Oh maybe he was . # What time's he on at then ? # Jean , er what where's the paper ? # Right ! # Is it ? # that . # Lovely ! # Yeah . # He's not on tonight . # Benny Hill . # Well why didn't we see it ? # What time is it ? # Half eight ? # Alright . # Well near as be damned . # You can turn it on to your B B C two , they wa there are , says a programme on a a thing out of humans , about soul . # A soul . # They were . # They were indeed . # There's a couple gassed themselves , and their son in their car because their dog died ! # Fucking stupid # are they ? # Bastards ! # Fucking killing the child with cos of stinking dog ! # As much as I like dogs , I wouldn't do that . # Urgh ! # No . # I didn't love . # There's an writing in the paper beside it her daughter's pregnant by her boyfriend and she's pregnant by her daughter's boyfriend too ! # . # Dipping the wick ! # Dirty fuckers ! # The daughter sh she was lonely she left the er the girlfrie her her daughter's boyfriend threw the leg over . # Right ? # And now she's found that her daughter's # Same man . # Now what would that be ? # She's aunt and uncle and their aunt , and mother and oh the fuck ! # I don't know . # Granny and # Well she's a mother there overnight , she's granny to the # I don't know ! # So # Who ? # She's the one who lives down Latlogan doesn't she ? # That's the hundredth stroke she's taken ! # Remember Joyce ? # Lived in Brown Square . # She's went to about ten granny and granddad's funerals ! # You get sacked after , I think , about the , the ninth or tenth one ! # Cos they're after him . # They're after him . # Maybe . # What ? # Oh aye ! # Batteries ! # Bring us two out . # Or oh no that's a different box . # That's the wee stand , remember me to give that back , it's the stand for the mike . # Kelly said today that our that daddy had a , a book you know , about Northern Ireland guest houses and all where to stay , you call it . # Says he's taking you away , aye . # And I says well is he gonna stay overnight , you know , with these two ? # She says aye . # She says get him , get him to take your mummy . # Hope he doesn't want me to traipse about with Lisa . # Now , next day , er Thursday I'll bring them up here Jean . # Take them to the park . # He's on the early next week . # Aye , but I'll have to go down next week because they're off school . # Bring them up , yeah . # And I'd say to John # Yes . # Yeah . # I wonder , is he trying to get her back into the house and she doesn't wanna come back . # Is she , she's in the # Yeah . # But if she # Yes . # I understand that . # But if she's living with someone else how does she explain her absence the weekend she goes to John ? # Aye , but # But , I , what I can't understand is , why all of a sudden does he want her back and see the children , well for over a year he kept her away ? # Told the children lies . # You know that saying Jean ? # No . # Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive . # This dog here's taking over this house ! # John's dog's not too well . # No . # He's very listless . # I said to Kelly Ann today , maybe it's fucking , erm sorry , maybe he's dying . # Cor ! # I shouldn't have said it . # I was telling Stephen today the story of a did I ever tell you ? # Did I ever tell you Raymond ? # My first job driving a lifting in the Harrow Street ? # There was a Mr and Mrs , Stephen was and there was a Mr and Mrs , the caretakers , and they lived in the third floor of a flat there . # And , the first day I started right enough , they were awful kind , awful kind they were English people , I think . # They were . # He had a bad arm . # But anyway , er well I'd , God forgive me ! # I dunno , er yes , I was eating jam , bread and jam today . # And anyway , the first day she gave me right enough , she came round every morning with my breakfast and brought it into the lift for me . # But , the first day she gave me bread with jam and butter on it . # Now , you know I can take jam or butter # That's the most revolting taste ! # And instead ,instead of telling the woman I I pretended to eat it couldn't finish it I put it down the lift shaft . # See ? # The next morning the same thing happened and I still hadn't the courage to tell her . # Cos I was that grateful for her , you know , making it . # Jesus Christ , Jean ! # You wanna have seen the butter and the jam , and the smell of it ! # I can smell it now ! # Oh God ! # But anyway this went on for weeks and weeks , and I kept on it down the lift shaft . # Instead of taking it out to the back and throwing it in the bin . # Right . # Never thi never thinking ! # The lift shaft was about three foot deep . # Sorry ! # Th the the well of the lift , you know from the er ,ju , when you went to the bottom floor # I would say there was a drop of about three feet , right ? # Down . # So anyway , after fucking weeks and weeks and weeks I had come out to me one day , and Mr came out and he said to me he had a wee bucket and shovels and he says er bring me down to the first floor so I opened to let him out and he gets out and he says to me , now take her half way between the first and second floor and stop her . # And I says okay , but why ? # He says I'm gonna clean the lift shaft . # Well Holy Jesus ! # Oh God ! # He says , I clean it every now and again . # People throwing , you know , cigarette packets and all down it . # Oh my God ! # So when I couldn't say a word , so he was able to open the lift door , you see , from outside . # The lift was immobilized . # Once the door was open it couldn't move , so I couldn't go down on it . # Well he jumps down into the fucking lift shaft and he slipped on i oh eh well you fucking bastard you ! # You bastard ! # Honest to God Jean ! # He slipped on the jam and the bread and the butter . # Bloody moulded ! # Jesus # Christ ! # Oh my God , Jean ! # What could I say ? # It came up on his elbows and all , and his trousers were covered and there's bloody jam , er this concoction ! # Oh Jesus ! # Jesus ! # No , they were , they were awful kind . # I forget what I said to them but the they forgot , the next , I don't think I got a bit of grub ever , since then . # Not until he left . # But I it was only butter and the jam today that er ,thi this came into my head . # Oh my God ! # That was nineteen fifty three . # This is nineteen ninety two . # And I , every now and again I'm embarrassed by it . # Every now and again I think about it and I'm deeply embarrassed . # Jean . # When he slipped in that muck he could have cracked his head against the side of the lift shaft ! # And I couldn't have been , I couldn't get out to help him I was stuck between the first and second floor ! # Well I took it up about six or seven feet , you know , from the ground floor . # When I say the first floor , I'm talking about the ground floor and the first floor , you know ? # I wouldn't have let him give it to me . # Remember the time I took to vertigo ? # And the minute he walks through your bedroom door , I says no . # I don't want any injections . # Did he take a sample of urine away ? # Oh ! # And what did he say ? # Oh well , that's good . # Oh ! # He won't take a breakfast in the mornings any more . # He goes straight to work . # What did he say ? # Right . # Raymond . # Drink affects us all different . # There are no two people affected by drink the same way . # Now we're all individuals when it comes to that . # Now , you could be one of the people that drink harmed quicker than maybe , say or maybe I'm ta injured quicker than you with drink . # I mean , there are people who can drink va vast quantities never seems to affect them . # They're up like a lark the next morning . # Jesus ! # Me , like I mean , that's got now , my age , I'm not fit for three days ! # Well , for two days anyway . # But , it's possible that , the same amount of drink , two people drink , taking the same amount of drink one is affected more badly than the other , or worse than the other . # Yo it's possible you could be one of those . # So you wanna be careful , like . # There's no way , Raymond , you should be able to drink two or three of those bottles o of that cider in ne in the one night , it's not good for you ! # Or vodka either ! # Well you , you don't drink that amount , but you know what I mean . # Stop , . # Jean I'd love a vodka now ! # I'd a love a vodka and coke ! # I'd give al almost anything . # I would sell you ! # No , I wouldn't . # I'm only , you know I'm only joking . # I know there's not , maybe that's why I've Where did you get that lemonade up the stairs Raymond ? # Inside the ottoman . # No , no . # Raymond said to me the other day , I asked him was there any lemonade ? # And he said yes . # He went up and got a bottle of Sasperella he said to me there was two bottles left . # So when the Sasperella was brought down , that was at the end of it . # And there was two bottles # No I didn't ! # I got no orange Jean ! # Jean , you didn't ! # You didn't ! # You didn't ! # Jean you didn't ! # Oh yes ! # I remember . # I # I beg your pardon . # I beg your pardon . # I like that dog . # Ah . # No . # What are the teachers trying to tell you here ? # He's not getting it ! # Willie # Willie is # got a few clothes and the better . # Let the dog out Jean if he wants out in the back . # Jean , the Golden Girls are coming on . # Jean ! # I'll fix that up for you . # The Golden Girls are coming on in about what ? # Ten minutes ? # I'll see to that . # Mhm . # Thirty for the paper and # It's only because you didn't tell your bloody brothers ! # I don't know what's wrong with this paper , this pen won't write on it . # I know . # Hang on . # That's nonsense isn't it ? # I would get a better , I'm not saying I'd get a better shine than that . # I would have them like shoes . # Turn that over to on your way past to four and I'll make you a cup of tea . # woof woof ! # woof woof ! # Ah ! # We can't all be sensible ! # No , I can't get up . # Oh ! # Lie down ! # Oh we didn't phone yet . # We didn't book the leg of lamb . # Mm . # It's just that er # Mhm . # Oh there's a skip outside Mo's tonight . # Wasn't there till this morning . # Skip outside Mo's with all the burnt stuff in it . # I complained . # He wants you pat him . # John was home before seven tonight . # And I got the book it must have a bus you know ano , another , an extra bus on because he was allowed to get off at the tonight . # I think it's the last one , as I said . # I was expecting to wait till about a quarter past seven . # What you playing at ? # What are you saying ? # It's that got your feet on the dog , it's stinking ! # You wanna smell their dog . # You wanna smell their dog . # It's stinking ! # And I mean , stinking ! # woof woof ! # Why don't hear this programme Jean . # I've no idea . # I meant to say Jean , you know the motor # we'll just say that Kerry and Sandy will be coming to collect it . # What ? # Thank God for that ! # Alright Steven ? # I'd like to go on there . # It's the only way to be Steven . # This is great ! # Ooh ! # Er ! # I've been drinking vodkas all night . # Mind you it's # Patch ! # Simon must have bought me about five vodkas !my throat . # Thank God I missed myself . # Friday night . # Took seven or eight . # My God ! # Eh ? # Drink makes me very tired , yeah . # I'd have , I'd have about fifteen or fourteen I'm , I'm knackered now ! # Just fall asleep . # You won't believe it ! # Okay Kerry ? # See you later ! # Yeah , cheerio ! # Better start walking there now , takes a bleeding hour to get round there ! # I dunno ! # God knows ! # That's what I mean , I've gotta go out with the chippie van . # I dunno ! # That'll be in there and give him a bit of encouragement . # They got to go out tonight . # I was standing there the other night # saw her go past me up the street . # Kept fucking , blowing her fucking hair or whatever it's called ! # It's called # I didn't even talk with him . # You bad boys ! # Oh aye , she's a lesbian in it . # I think . # This was on before . # Mm mm . # Mhm . # The ma does . # Is it you that's got a paper ? # Dad ? # Oh it was great ! # It's empty . # But it's empty . # Not at all . # Only children . # Well there you are . # Faint heart never won fair lady . # I think , yes , I have to go to the chip wagon . # Wherever that , # Aye . # What ? # I just follow the nose . # Not at all ! # Not enough bank notes . # Don't forget he's in the # Go on the trams . # He's in love ! # He's in love ! # Leave him alone ! # I'm not in love . # I've never been in love . # Well , once . # But , she's not gonna be wearing that # Well , it's not that either . # Jean . # Been in love once . # I had , aye . # No , she were an English lass . # But she bit me ! # Glad I kept a straight face afterward . # Mm . # So er she's on trial . # See you later . # That looks better . # Aye . # She's fallen , she's fallen for the grey woman . # Patch ! # The one that's always talking about her young day ! # Aha . # Yes , I understand that . # Where's the dog ? # Raymond , you're like something out of the Wizard of Oz ! # With that hair ! # I wonder where William is ? # It will it will cost money . # There's a wee square I dunno what you call the material , bakelite or whate , not bakelite , it's a it's for use in electrical insulation and when you it's cracked I think , it's not the grill , the wires of the grill the actual Patch ! # Johnny , get that dog down ! # No . # It's , the thing that you push it into , the two prongs will do . # No , the two pro , the thing that the two prongs sit in is cracked so naturally say it had to go into a hole that size , right ? # And then , each side of it's making contact and it's gone into a hole that size , and it's moving it ain't making contact . # He , bet you he's got toilet roll up there ! # Patch ! # It's not like that er , T V dog you see where big string of toilet roll , it and it maybe in fucking pieces ! # Stop that Brandy ! # Patch ! # Patch ! # Patch ! # Is he with you ? # He's in our room Johnny . # He's not with you at all . # Come on Patch ! # Come on ! # You turned into a rabbit Johnny ? # Come on Patch ! # Come on Patch ! # Come on ! # Patch ! # Urgh ! # Urgh ! # Urgh ! # Urgh ! # This time last night I was in bed . # Do you want out Brandy ? # Patch ! # Stay there ! # Stay there ! # Come on Patch . # Er , Brandy . # I should have taken you a walk tonight . # Eh ? # Come on up ! # Come on ! # Get up ! # Danny Thomas is a man . # Hiya William . # Where were you William ? # Mhm . # Mm . # Mhm . # What sort of a game's that ? # Sure , I didn't know him you see . # You're telling lies ! # Will you give us it up . # I can't , look at the dog , Jean ! # Jesus ! # So it is . # And it's general knowledge . # It's not a game . # Where did you get ? # Did they pick you already ? # And you wanna see a few t-shirts . # Look at her ! # And you'll have to thank Sylvie . # Just say a wee thanks very much . # What about that ? # Good . # Good . # How long have they been on you ? # They're a great shoe aren't they ? # Oh Christ ! # She's sleeping in her room . # Mhm . # Have you the two of them on yet ? # Is it too small for you ? # Are they comfortable ? # He doesn't want them and he's not getting them ! # You never look a gift horse in the mouth . # I think they're alright lovey . # I don't think they're too tight at all . # See Steven ? # There is no conversation son . # No . # It doesn't matter . # Tonight , yes . # What bread's there ? # Well I moved it ah ? # Ah , but what about the morning ? # No , but I do , and your mummy , and Raymond going to work . # You take two rounds Willie . # And there's a bit of ham left . # Where the tomatoes are . # Don't take it all . # Well then , if you take two and that'll leave us six . # I want half of that ham left . # Mm mm mm . # What ? # Jesus ! # Da da da ah ah ah , da dee # Not in the wardrobe . # Mine . # I'll ,he let you have a couple . # There's one packet of er # Well you , hold the dog up here in mid air . # I'm only joking ! # You sit there and I'll get them . # Balls ! # Did you watch Inspector Morse as well ? # Parts of it , son . # Shame about the stupid didn't think it just happens . # Aye . # Tell me , where did er James get the tape ? # Neil ? # Sorry , Neil . # Sorry ! # Well do you know what brought , brought it up about computer games ? # We were playing his tonight . # Right . # And I was looking through the videos there . # Go on , have one he says . # they got videos for nothing . # Did he say where he got it ? # But er he's , er he was playing with that the other day . # With the one # Ah ! # and that's probably what he said . # Mm . # The dog's dreaming . # Get them ? # What ? # Dreaming . # Not much to let down . # Willie the dog is getting to me . # Every single , first night then , then Willie ? # But it wasn't to be . # That's right . # Come here ! # Here ! # Here ! # Come here ! # Don't touch it ! # Don't touch that , Brandy now ! # Brandy ! # Whoop ! # Yeah . # Ruined all , they are . # Mm . # Speak English William , for Christ's sake ! # Mouthful of food ! # Mm . # What do you mean ? # Johnny , what did you think of that fight earlier on ? # Foreman ! # What ? # Shaun ! # Shaun ! # We're trying to get a conversation out of you and you're grunting ! # Oh , that's a conversation , yeah ! # Got a problem ? # There's no problem at all . # So tell me , you went to see this girl ? # I got another tape for the computer . # There's no problem Johnny ! # It's just normal . # I won't , I can't understand what it is , but it says general knowledge . # Do you wanna try it ? # There must have been a series , general knowledge three that's # Is that Mickie Duff , the promoter ? # Turn it on , see what it does Willie . # I'll try it in the morning when yous are all in bed . # I don't want anybody trailing at the back of that television with that new ariel lead we got put in ! # Which I'm not paying for any more ! # Right ! # Ten , twenty , thirty , forty no it's not enough . # I think it's about fifty odd quid to get a remote control set a remote control handset . # Er , give me a bit of rest , the thing will only answer , burn out . # Up ! # Aye . # Come on Patch ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Patch ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Come on girl ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Come on ! # Excuse me . # When you see Neil tomorrow ask him does , does he know anywhere we can buy some of them tapes second hand . # The A C twenty . # You're gonna have to watch Jean , if anybody offers you them that you haven't already got them . # We're gonna have to take a list of what we've got , and if we ever see an advertisement and we're gonna buy them , say oh no , I've got that one and that one , and that one , and that one . # But I've now taken this out tonight . # Yeah , I expect that Johnny's , do you ever do any ? # Where's the matches ? # Yes . # Well if I get those because I walk , the way I walk wears the front of the soles of the shoes down . # Right ? # And I can't afford it . # Not rubber soles . # Not rubber soles . # It's out of time son and leave it . # You're gonna have to buy a pair of cheap shoes , to save those when you go in church . # Can't afford to get them soled and heeled all the time . # Patch ! # Put them down son . # How many does she take ? # Is it one a week ? # Or two a week ? # Just one a week . # Did you hear me boy ? # Gee ! # I told you not to ! # Here , wait a minute ! # Here son , here . # I'll turn this off . # Er # Right for the girl . # All of this . # Now , anybody comes in can see it's going . # Fuck's that ? # Well we'll see ! # Please stop now ! # Now don't let's go o overboard here at this time of the night . # Come on Patch ! # Come on up . # Up ! # Come on . # Come on Patch . # Alright Willie . # Put your tape machine back in the thing . # The tape thing . # Put it back on the television . # You won't Johnny ? # No it doesn't . # It only does error for something wrong with the machine . # The game's over . # When you pull this out and it goes the next time start it turn it over , rewind it to the front . # Just turn the machine right o tape right over and use the other side . # See what happens . # And you'll need that machine there back a bit from the television as I've already told you . # Aye , it's moving this . # Now all you gotta do is to move , that's right ! # No ! # Now don't look funny now Willie ! # And stretching it # and stretching it like that . # You're very unpleasant when you're like that boy ! # No they don't . # That's the terrible thing Jean ! # They think they do . # There now , stop it ! # Just stop your tape first and er turn it over to the other side first . # Turn it round . # Now wind it back . # Right now . # No Willie ! # Stop it ! # That's right . # No , he hasn't got a machine that cuts out . # See what I mean ? # Excuse me . # See what I mean , the other side was alright . # Yeah . # I'll # Well how are they gonna know ? # What is it doctor said ? # Tell him to come back to him or # But did the doctor say he'd come down and see him # in a couple of days anyway ? # Right . # Oh Jesus Christ ! # We've ourselves in hospital . # Raymond , I know all about it son . # No . # And he can't get up you see . # Jesus Christ Almighty Johnny ! # Can you not # tell her what you have ! # Johnny , you'll not get # a job son sitting on your arse ! # Or in the club playing snooker . # Och ! # Now don't be silly # Raymond please ! # Aye . # Turn the machine off quick ! # William ! # Turn the machine off ! # Turn the machine son . # William , put it back to yo you had it back there , the far side , put it back . # Right now . # Now , wind it back . # Now you try and break that again son and I'll put a foot in the back of your head ! # It's as simple as that . # You get irritable at this time of night when you get tired and you get ill mannered , and I don't like it ! # So go to your bed if you can't behave normal . # Well then it's rewound isn't it ? # Then press them two buttons whatever you do . # There's an error . # Oh God , Jean ! # Will you give it a rest love ! # Please . # All for a game . # Right , up ! # Sit in the chair . # Touch nothing ! # I should fucking try again . # His mate Neil give it him . # He found it amongst his own but he doesn't have a V A C # Alright , just a minute . # Just a minute . # Hold on now . # And now it goes up again because there's a V A C Onyx standard , that's an Onyx standard machine . # And there's a V A T , V A C twenty expanded which has more gadgets on it . # That may be a expanded game . # Which we haven't got that , the equipment for . # But that . # I might be able to put an ad in the paper for them games . # You wanna see the games they've got for sale in London at Christmas and I haven't . # Right . # Mm . # Right . # Oh I know that . # Right . # Wait a wee second . # Wait a minute . # We'll see . # No . # It's down the bottom # Well maybe he can't drink Jean . # Well you don't know , to some people fifteen vodkas is nothing . # It's gonna show error again . # Well no . # But then you seem to have graphics on , graphics on it don't you ? # That one over there . # Again , error comes behind it . # Yes . # When the tape's stopped , that's right . # No , you can't do that love . # Can some of the can some of the games let's say there's a , one side isn't playing , and try the other ? # And some of the games are very slow . # I must say Jean , you didn't do a bad job for woman ! # Shut the right door Willie . # Easy ! # Please , we're gonna sit here all day . # I didn't see Willie impressing the new girl . # Er , you'll have to see what happened . # There it is , the machine's stuck . # Well not till I , we'll wait and see what happens now . # It's alright William ! # Okay William . # It's only a game . # Oh we never had to do what you're saying in any other games so why the hell should I have to do it now ? # Och ! # You're balls ! # It's okay now son . # It's okay . # Where are you getting the money Johnny for these jacuzzi ? # Is Willie going back down there too ? # He does . # You never do windows on your own . # Oh I know you # would Johnny . # Jeez ! # Don't you be telling us Sunday night , or Monday night during the week haven't done or not . # See you tomorrow boys . # I'll go down the road . # See before yous go out . # Go through your drawers and anything you don't need bring them down and throw them in the bin . # Far too big for Steven at the moment son . # And he's got plenty . # Throw them out . # And , you see that wardrobe # William ! # William and Johnny ! # You see the wardrobe in your room ? # Anything there too old , coats , anything that's left on the floor , old boots , shoes that you too small for you throw them in the bin . # Now , when I look in the bin tomorrow I wanna see something to tell . # Now , what'll we do with you now ? # Right # Straight up . # Say , okay I'll do that . # How do you know it doesn't start up again ? # Be ever so careful . # Yeah . # You're not gonna be able to enjoy it , but I'll tell you that every week . # Johnny this'll be # It's far too long now . # I wish I hadn't started . # It's right to the end . # Okay . # Raymond , that's this machine son . # You're watching the machine . # Right . # We'll try this again . # Now look , it does play . # Press play er right ! # Whoop ! # Error . # Turn the tape . # Play . # Play . # Ah ! # What ? # What don't ? # I don't know anything about it son . # Our Price . # but I didn't say anything about precinct . # Mhm . # Well then in thirty five years open the precinct thirteen now . # That's all . # Yeah it's alright . # What are you doing William ? # Right . # Now that doesn't happen . # Okay ? # So we'll leave this bit . # Right . # Give me two minutes Johnny , and we'll put it on for you at last ! # There you are . # That was quick . # It wasn't Johnny . # Whoops ! # Where's the error , there ? # Well let's ease her down . # There you are love . # Mm mm mm . # It's not ? # Well that's why I did it in the morning Jean . # Goodnight son . # Get them out there though Jean . # Shut up your mouth Willie now ! # Yeah . # Set it up there . # It was up to eighty odd . # That's eighty minutes . # That goes up to eighty odd . # Right , that'll do it love otherwise you'll be there all night darling . # You know like , put it compare it with your money . # Listen son , now just , just open that door there ! # Wait . # And jus just do it son . # Go easy . # And go and do that and get away from what's going on . # Why do you have to stand two foot away from it ? # Here William ! # Come here ! # Sit , and hold them . # Settle down ! # Son , settle down . ? # Go to bed ! # Go on ! # Get out ! # Ah soon you'll be to your money . # Go into bed and watch television up there . # Right son ? # I don't like to go off Jean . # Get up to bed ! # Go right along . # Cheeky bastard ! # I don't like putting coal in here . # Then at night just firm it please Jean . # I'll be out all day . # No messing ! # No messing ! # Cos you know , I think we need our chimney cleaned up . # I do that . # Cos every time you open that door there's bound to be that's stinking then ! # Get someone while I'm not here . # No . # That's the end of the tape . # There's nothing happening Raymond . # The tape's still stopping and it keeps loading . # It is indeed . # On your way ,even get through that cup and plate in son ? # Up , over near the sink . # I will try that tape in that morning . # Night son , night . # It's up to himself . # Just keep that on until that's all . # I'd have said there's enough there wouldn't you ? # Oh Jesus ! # Oh fuck ! # Why is it sitting there love ? # Oh that tape's going , so that's alright . # And to do say one , two , three's done . # Right ? # One , two , three is done . # That's one two three and then , including number four , aye . # Four have to use that one , okay ? # Do that in the morning . # That's Shaun , you can hear her talk . # Oh that's right . # Watch the dog behind you . # Jean , did I ask you if you were going to John's tomorrow ? # That's good ! # That's good ! # Patch stay there . # William # is your friend coming for you this morning ? # What ? # Half ten , right well I'm going soon . # It's twenty past , I've to get the bus . # Jean Jean I have to go now it's half ten now . # I was up the park this morning with the dog . # Mhm . # I'll have to go now , honestly . # I slept on the settee down there , I fell asleep . # What ? # Yes he's away to work , yeah . # Could you give me my bus fare Jean , please ? # And Willy's to call for his friend , look at that rip that up Willy . # I was up the park this morning Willy at half five . # It was , tell a lie , sorry half six . # Lovely it was . # Where you going Willy ? # Where you going ? # Ask the wee fella does he know anybody that's got one of those er VAC twenty # computers . # That must be an expanded one although , although the case would have told you that He seems a pleasant wee fella that . # You in the bathroom Jean ? # It's alright I haven't even got breakfast yet . # You know the trip to the park this morning ? # I , I had the rest of that Yorkie Bar , the last of it , couple of squares . # Won't go far on that . # Okay son , behave yourself . # up the park Willy ? # Aye . # Patch stop that scratching You've had your food . # Jean do you want a bit of buttered soda ? # Do you want a bit of soda buttered ? # I don't know wh Is that about a job ? # Oh for fuck , tear it up . # Comic Relief . # Come in here a minute Jean . # What love ? # Oh Jesus . # When that goes cold , okay ? # Where are you Jean ? # Come on give us a hand here . # It's difficult to tell sit there . # I'll go and get a couple of mats . # nothing , she's had her food . # give her a wee drop later Jean cos she'd a good walk this morning you know and er now those Bramleys up there ,okay ? # So I have to # No no , I know that . # you know ? # Anyway , right the park was lovely this morning . # It was . # Out of the roa out of the road Patch , move over . # Well the point about it is , the greyhound men # well their dog's off you see and they've gotta be careful # that and you know dog okay ? # and er if they come off the leads you see # I let Brownie out went up the back and there was Brownie in the Malone River then he saw me so no lead with me # Mhm # Mhm . # The two dogs had great fun . # What ? # There was ice on the seats in the park . # Mm . # Ah Raymond must've took some . # Well I asked him was he alright and he said aye , and then I fell asleep , I've been sleeping from after eight twenty past eight . # The er I took the binoculars up this morning . # Aha . # No , I looked for rabbits and squirrels , I could see nothing . # No it was nice now but I had to sit like that with my arms up my sleeves . # Bit bitter cold . # I would say it wouldn't matter what time you went up the park there'd be somebody there . # But it was lovely . # It's the best time of the day to go up when there's nobody . # There you are . # You should've heard the different birds . # But I c er I only see a blackbird , that's all , two blackbirds three . # But I could hear the rest of them . # That dog had the microphone in his mouth . # Mhm . # Well it may be that type of a dog Jean . # I mean look at , look at Brownie and look at , and John's is a fully bred thorough or er a pedigree labrador . # She's more fat than a chip and he's feeding her tons of stuff . # Right would you give me my bus money please and whatever you're giving . # I hate this babysitting job Jean . # Och I hate it . # Well I said I would do it and I'll do it , I won't let them down , I'll never let them down but # Ah bring us number seven out of the seven good God bring me number seven excuse me # What time is it love ? # Oh fuck shouldn't be here . # and apparently the clothes are very cheap in it , and the shoes . # Now if we could get down there I could ma what did I tell you ? # I could maybe get you a cheaper pair of trainers right , but good ones right ? # Och well I don't know about what na good ones anyway , and maybe get you a rugby jumper . # That would be a surprise for your da , wouldn't it ? # Well would you like that ? # And even carry on and get her a wee jumper . # What do you # What ? # Bloody new . # Second hand ! # ? # Well it all depends on where it's going . # There's some goes to Armagh , Craigavon , Seymour Hill , Conway Estate , Portadown and the Faulkner base . # Cos the poor old dog's never out , that's why . # I know that . # I know that , and it's not right . # Ah ! # They could take you out . # Mhm # Mhm . # Mhm . # I tell you what we'll do , what about this what about this if the messages are a bit late today , right , and we've gotta go to er the court to pay the money and the shop to get your shoes why not , if when the minute the messages come , go straight up to Taughmonagh right ? # I'll be down early in the morning , right , and me and you and Kelly Ann'll head out early in the morning and pay the court and get the new shoes and we'll have all morning to do it , eh ? # And then we can just saunter back here , how about that ? # Well what about that ? # If Stewarts are late in coming with the messages # we'll go straight up to Taughmonagh go down the town early in the morning and I'll take you to the shop where they maybe get you a rugby jumper # Mhm . # Whatever yous want , it's up to yous , if yous want your shoes today I'll get them but I was thinking if we'd've went down the town today # Oh sure we'll , alright , well we'll do it . # What time is it to be in at ? # Er what day ? # Today ? # Oh that's today , right . # Right . # Right . # Right . # That's alright , well we'll do it this morning , are your socks clean now if you're gonna take off your shoes to get them , try them on ? # Do yous know what size of shoes yous take ? # Yes . # You're losing weight Kelly Ann . # You're looking well . # Mhm . # No you're losing weight . # You're growing you see . # That's why you've lost weight , no no no hold your stomach in you'll hurt yourself . # You probably will . # Don't be all day up there . # Good dogs now away and lie down over there , go and lie down lie down . # Jesus Christ # Aye . # Oh # Look at that there's a woman goes to help her dead husband right ? # And now she's lying dead herself . # look at him kicking her dirty bastards aren't they ? # Oh away in a foreign er Yugoslavia or Serbia or somewhere . # Aye . # Mm He'll kill Bruno next week . # He'll kill Bruno . # Good dog Sara , aye you're a good dog , yes , you'll go out in a minute , yes . # Yes you'll go out in a minute , to to Stephen , go to Stephen . # Lie down . # What ? # Well ? # How many wells make a river ? # Your big head would make it bigger . # I wish Stuart was here . # You could write on it any time but then you're just sitting in all day . # No er nine , it's ten no it's eleven to twelve and twelve to two and two to four isn't it , and then four to seven thirty isn't that what it is ? # No it doesn't go on and on . # Is the table top er cleared in there ? # come on , come on , come on Kelly Ann , here . # Shut the door . # What ? # Yeah oh we'll have to put them away . # We'll all # we'll all er do our bit . # Right now , # Right . # Frozen stuff first . # Right . # It would hardly go in the bathroom . # Right , come on just lift them out , what's this ? # Burgers # yes they're nice . # Right . # Chicken fillets , oh lovely , ooh right . # Bacon # Veg veg veg # What ? # Oh yes # Ah and I tell you daddy you never keep , and your mum that you never keep # What ? # Oh that's lovely , you can keep that in the fridge . # Good . # strawberry , right . # What's this ? # Biscuit tin ,Right milk # milk # What have you got ? # Streaky bacon . # Do you like streaky bacon ? # Right # Erm hold on a sec , what does it say now ? # That's okay , there's a sauce # What ? # Aha . # Right , who's gonna get a ? # I'll have to bank the fire up . # What's this here , rubbish ?another bag . # Butter in the fridge , excuse me is there another bag out there , box out there ? # That's the lot , right . # Now them they have to go down sauce up here you've got no tinned stuff , no ? # Right , oh for God's sake . # Jesus , # dog food goes there in the fridge # Right put the dog food there . # Right # There's your rubbish then . # What the hell do you want a rubbish bin for when you've got a bi a lovely big wheelie bin out there ? # And it'll save that corner , it'll make it look nice . # There . # too lazy to take it out . # You come on . # the wheelie bin . # They're just sitting there . # Look , here , there you go , right ? # Everything's in , all the plugs off right , you get , you get the plates # Well come on , we're wasting time if you want your shoes . # Come on . # Alright , that's off , it's alright , no it's . # Here right . # Right now Stephen hang your cups up and put the knives and forks away while I sort this out . # There's nothing wrong with it for God's sake . # And see if daddy wants what ? # Well , well that's okay then . # You know yous wanna get what we used to have in our house ? # You get wee hooks and you hang them up and they stick there right , and just put your cups on it in a row and it gives you more room on the table . # We used to have , years ago . # Right now , lock the back door . # Oh I need to go to the toilet , hold on . # they're nice . # No they're a bit you know long for her but they're the same size as she was wearing Jean and the other ones were too narrow for her feet . # got one pair . # One # How does it work Stephen ? # All the best . # And where do you put it ? # Aye . # Aye . # Who is it ? # Where'd he get the money ? # I'll when I see him . # I Did you put in the there ? # Oh you cock it first . # It goes into there ? # Are you feeding the dog ? # over to the right or left ? # There's my last one # No . # I got the bus down to Shore Road # and then we walked from there round to the court from the Shore Road and then well I stood # Mhm . # It's a big store Jean but I mean er they had lovely prints in it that big , you know # that's the only shop we went to . # We were in Castle Court first , it's a nice place if you wanna see a big military prints # sixty nine sheets , Jesus . # Mhm . # What are you doing Patch ? # Eh ? # What are you doing ? # Are you not supposed to cut it first ? # Oh can you ? ? # I'm gonna tell John his was six pound and Kelly's was seven . # That's thirteen and the five for me for and then the bus fare Where's Raymond away to ? # No . # Hope he's not going for any drinking . # Where's Johnny ? # Johnny and who , ? # Is there any bananas left ? # What can I have to eat love ? # Is there any in the fridge or are they all away ? # Good . # What are you doing Kelly Ann ? # Oh . # There's a big crowd in the town . # Didn't we see the , the , the man collecting the stuff out of the bin , # God help you want to have seen the size of him and how young he was . # Does it work well your game ? # Let me see . # Well maybe they do . # You don't have to have it all filled right up # Pull that yellow thing at the top back towards you . # Now it'll work . # Don't want a cigarette love ? # Think you're supposed to fill it up to that mark Stephen says . # Ah you've them too far # Alright you haven't . # Is that now better ? # Kelly Ann would never admit she's wrong you know . # Indeed . # What er I'll make a cup of tea now eh ? # Are they not ? # Jesus ! # Yes there was a good crowd in the town . # There was . # Good crowd . # Want your dinner Brownie ? # Eh ? # Well he needs # a good brush . # Certainly , come on in . # And what about you Declan ? # Is that your out there Declan ? # It's alright he's only playing with dog look . # Oh , oh . # Ah # Excuse me . # Look at this . # Oh my God # Who ? # First one come in Declan ? # Johnny ? # No . # Did you ask the wee boy where he got the computer game ? # Oh . # . # isn't it ? # love . # Where's Stephen ? # Turn it up . # So you had eight of them mm ? # Right , turn it down . # Haven't taught you # haven't taught you anything . # The hell with Home and Away . # She's pregnant . # She's what ? # I should think so . # If we got our tea early we could be at the park tonight . # Do you go to school or have you left school ? # Are you ? # Stephen said he might be going to the Murray . # Do you have a blazer for school ? # That's too much . # He goes with a big girl called Cathy . # Streaky bacon . # Aha . # Go away and tell her . # Where's the wee white book Jean I was writing down in ? # Well er have you got your plates in ? # Turn that T V down a bit Stephen would you ? # Well here turn it down a bit . # Did you enjoy yourself today ? # Eh ? # What do you think of your shoes ? # Aha . # Look at that there Stephen , look at how thin that man is , my Jesus . # No I hate that , look at that and your da wants you to , you want your da to b buy you them wrestling stickers every day . # Just think a bit the money your daddy spent on wrestling stickers alone for a week on you and Kelly Ann could keep three children alive for weeks . # Wouldn't that be lovely to be able say well I saved the life of one child in the Sudan ? # Just one . # Look at the skull . # What ? # Oh Jesus so it is . # Well we'll have to wait Kelly Ann , will we do ? # Aye . # We couldn't have walked home today Stephen sure we couldn't . # Well I was thinking of walking home from the centre of the town but then I thought to hell with it . # What ? # Very good . # What ? # What time will your daddy be here at Stephen ? # Ah shite ! # Do you like your new trainers now ? # Are you sure ? # That's good Kelly Ann , glad to hear it . # Aye she was sitting , she was sitting listening eh ? # Nosy parker . # Did you eat your dinner Patch ? # Did you eat your dinner Patch eh ? # Good dog . # Good dog you're a good dog . # Is it still raining ? # You alright Jean ? # Right get the cigarettes out then and we'll have a snout . # It's warm but Jean , you're saving coal . # It's alright Jean I'll fix it . # Can we hear this Jean ? # No cursing please . # I never got a bite in their da's today . # He never even offered me tea or nothing . # When he left a note I heard him saying to Stephen and Kelly don't give your Uncle Raymond any biscuits . # Don't open them and then he won't be cos her da says I've noticed when we don't take the wrappings off them that your Uncle Raymond won't eat them , but when they're laying loose # he's like a vulture in the Kalahari . # Not now Jean , not now . # What's he got ? # What bar ? # My God ! # See that Kelly Ann you wouldn't mind would you please , turning it off , thank you love . # Thanks love . # Mm . # Yes but you're , you're supposed to use the plungers Jean . # It's to warm up for the weekend it said . # It's something about Derry somewhere . # See # That is . # It is indeed . # Oh dear God # How many did you get ? # Very good . # Are the dishes put away Jean ? # Thank God . # I'd've put you out if they hadn't've been . # Mhm . # in the kitchen . # Aye well I mean you can get twenty five pounds # er # Aye . # Yes go on , # Aye go on with him Stephen # or Kelly Ann . # Are you done Jean ? # Did you give her another feed tonight ? # Did you tell your , aye thank God , did you tell your daddy the er the big fella was looking into the bin today ? # I saw him put it in his pocket , don't know where he got it fucking act the eejit fucking walk about places in the town where he , nobody would stop them , they'd stop me # Ha I told you # Told you it's only a pup . # Oh aye # Sit , sit Patch sit down # I've done nowt to it . # Bloody sure it's not . # Where's the paper ? # Where's the paper ? # Where's the paper ? # Lie down He's sat down now . # Come on Patch , come on # He's in the army # Turn that down a bit Kelly Ann # Turn that down a bit # How's your driving coming on ? # Good . # Good . # Mhm # That wee dog was up at the park this morning # Come on , good dog . # Yes . # Aye Then he said to me # he says I don't understand the politics over here . # That boy round the corner . # I run now when I see him coming . # I go up the stairs . # Right I don't spit on your shoes your saliva # There's only one thing he # Oh I walk out of the room now . # He's harmless like , you know but # but he's harmless , that's what I mean . # Mm . # He thought I was out . # a year Jean . # Is it a good place to work do you like it ? # Your daddy told you to knock it off now , if that goes over it's in the fire . # You're teasing that dog . # Something you want Johnny ? # Do you want something ? # Stephen ? # Who ? # next year . # Oh yes . # Mhm . # There's no work for girls . # Aye it's good . # Yes . # I haven't got them . # Tired Stevie ? # The bloody dog is look , lying in your lap . # it's all about Stevie , eh ? # You bloody chump , I said you're going to see the and you said yes you're gonna ask your daddy . # And then Jean said she's gonna ask your daddy to get a banger , and you're coming with us as I know this , I am not going with you . # So there # Were you making arrangements to see him later ? # What ? # Excuse me . # Do you like Eastenders Stephen ? # Do you ? # What ? # Can't cut it any more , it's cut to fuck . # No # Oh Jesus John of course it would ! # Oh shit ! # Oh fuck you John . # Aye # Yes . # Ah but , no the oth no they'll only , they only cut , my other one is that , you need a you need a need a pair secateurs , you know secateurs what secateurs are ? # Secateurs have handles so they can pull apart to make the same size # only # No what I meant Raymond only # only they're you know like the # the cutting edge of er er are sort of like that # Yes , kind of like blades and you snap them together and # Eh ? # Just about to say # secateurs well er I need them to trim the , the a wee bush # and the rose bushes at the # What about the girl that's in New Orleans ? # The car stopped , down on the ground , shot her dead , shot at him and missed ,twenty seven # For nothing . # And apparently it's becoming very , you know , like a major major # Yes , they're even giving tourists a leaflet now about the # Thank you squire , that was very good of you to notice that . # Right well Raymond # it's , I've a wee thing in # Aha . # It's not on # doctor says I'll have a few words with him . # hundred and thirty pound a day was it ? # What about John ? # Is he ?depressed . # He's down because of er what it cost him . # No , I swear to God Jean he had three , he had two pints and a glass , and I had three vodkas and it , Jean , don't be silly the only reason that wee bugger's # and the last one and that's the last . # Jean you know me better than that . # Oh aye . # The girl comes round here doing a survey , she came round one day and we were civil to her ,and just answered questions , you know the way they stop you in the street . # So she told us the last time she was round she was going on a course for that sort of thing and she said now would you like to try it said fair enough . # You get twenty five pound worth of vouchers # Marks and Spencers , right . # We were to do it from Friday to Friday but I turned on the tapes on , when was it # no Thursday # Friday and Friday tapes went into the works you know just unravelled # so I went in to pull them out , then I rang her rang her wee fella , she came round on Friday night and collected them sorry she collected them and she couldn't get them back to , till the Tuesday , Tuesday . # So we Tuesday , Wednesday and Thursday Friday . # Oh them , no they're , they're just leave them in son . # They're only for very small things . # And she says you'll still get your twenty five pound voucher . # Which is very good of her . # tapes the first one , then she couldn't get another one until # that's all it is , just talking # No no that's the whole point . # It's all about it's all about regional dia you know , dialects . # Nobody's gonna hear i nobody knows who it is , you don't even know them . # That's all isn't it ? # I mean we just talk normal . # And just put down here that's all no second names just # No . # # No you just yak , that's it , just yak normal . # Dawn there's nobody here gonna hear it # No we taped er or forty five what did he say ? # Eighty minutes and there's twenty tapes . # I've only got er I think that's number six . # eight or nine and I had # but there's , it's not gonna , nobody's gonna know exactly # people are gonna listen to it # you know ? # That's all . # But the whole point about it is # the whole point about it is not to put on the act . # Jean make us a cup of tea love . # I was thinking , I was thinking the other day Jean never has a fucking # So I said that er twenty five quid , couple of jumpers fuck it . # Well it can't be easy like , you know what I mean ,but er # the money . # Ah , oh sick sick . # Ah # Oh ah yes . # Yeah . # Jean the whole point about it is I gave him I , I gave him a thousand pound worth of work and one fella , a young fella ah Raymond look at that , and he gives him twenty off the drink for a year and after the year # cos , yes he was getting you know what I mean ? # drank # the work that I was giving him # until all of a sudden it dried up . # Well I , I said don't come promising me work # trouble is I'll ring you every night say there's a , there's a day's work # Who , Peter ? # Now come on sit down Dawn for Christ sake . # Oh yes , soon . # You alright Raymond ? # How are you now ? # Ah thanks very much Dawn . # Willy , Willy don't fucking con a conner , you smoke and don't be funny . # Why , why don't you smoke as long as , wait a minute , wait a minute son , as long , as long # as long as I don't catch you . # I don't want to have to fucking bury you . # Jean , dead tomorrow . # Did you see that tonight though on the T V about the , the ma er the English couple in er New Orleans ? # Fucking car pulls up , # and they missed him . # Sleepwalking ? # Mm . # You see a woman see a woman and your man didn't know where he was , and then she walked out one night and put her hand through the window and she ripped it from there to there and she said the doctors told her the only thing that stopped her the arm from coming off was the bone . # put her dick out ,bone in it . # It's funny now , she said it as if she was you know under pressure , and she had to get up ,I remember one night as if somebody was very quietly you know putting a blanket over me , that's honest . # Oh fuck so you struggled , you couldn't speak , you know # honest , for weeks and weeks I took , I don't mean every night # tablets . # Mm . # I know it well . # Yeah . # Oh # Right . # Ah . # Right . # Doing what ? # Oh ! # Right . # Did what you had to do eh ? # Right # Cheerio # and then , and then all of a sudden # Aye # The woman , put her hand through the window # then all of a sudden er you're , you're they went to a psychiatrist or a whatever , therapist # and he said well my mummy doesn't love me # He doesn't sleepwalk far enough . # No skirt at all . # Willy you look tired , do you want to go to bed # Raymond # Away to your bed son . # Yes . # Your what ? # Take a glass of milk son and go to bed . # Oh we saw Eleanor tonight . # Raymond's Eleanor , big Eleanor , yes . # She looks better too . # No . # Oh t aye # She's to give him a hand lead him across the road . # Well is it the front of your jeans or you , you showing off ? # It's a flipping bell tent . # Oh aye ? # Think Jackie used to do it . # first , honest , he admitted it he put a hosepipe down the trousers . # Dick ? # Did he tell you ? # Aye what colour was it Willy ? # Was there hairs on it ? # He's a fucking pervert , report him . # Report the bastard . # Report the bastard . # Raymond away to bed son , you're not well . # Go on I promise you if you miss anything I'll tell you tomorrow . # Well go to fucking sleep . # If you've gotta count the sheep count that , count that Eleanor jumping over the fucking be wardrobe . # Raymond please . # Well she's got somebody else , she lisps . # That's what they say . # I don't know I've never seen him , but # Over there . # Oh Carole came in er Saturday night I says you've no skirt on looking for John , I said # a couple of nights later up the stairs , it was wild . # Johnny # Sorry no Johnny , no no John , aye . # Oh my Jesus , oh Willy , that is filthy ! # Oh for fuck's sake . # Willy a Willy Willy away to bed , Raymond away to bed son , go on you get yourself sorted out for the morning , go on son . # I'm not gonna hit the roof but you're not well , it's not right . # Give us that Willy # Oh it's just too bad Willy . # Are you alright son ? # Monday ? # Sixty five P . # Aye thirty five for a youngster . # Give us a light please Jean . # They're all going up on Monday . # Mm . # Mhm . # Think I'll get myself , if I in er invested about forty quid in a new pair of er trainers I'd fucking walk down Road in no time . # Is it ? # Not if you consider , I mean it's , how far away it is from here . # Si what son ? # Mm ? # What's in there ? # Boots , the wrong size or # Johnny # Mm # He's lonely . # Yeah when he comes home he's lonely . # And I've a feeling he's lonely over there and all # Well not , not really now he's , he's a harmless wee fella like he is harmless . # No well he's not , no I would say he has a bit , yeah . # Oh he's not skinny , no I don't think he's skinny , no no . # Fuck he couldn't get in the # You couldn't get in the Band of Hope . # There was no glory in their win # sure there wasn't . # Yeah . # Mhm . # There was no glory in the # in er Liverpool's win # Yeah # Yes they are . # Not at all . # But there was no # Yes . # There was no glory in it at all # None whatsoever . # In fact they should be ashamed of themselves # letting Portsmouth , Portsmouth you know take them so far . # It's not the first time . # Och don't be silly Jean he was # Aye # Oh aye . # Oh Jesus . # Yes . # Jesus . # Aye # Yeah # Oh dear # God . # Jesus # Oh God ! # Yes . # See when I go down to John's now I'm out like a light there . # you're waking up , yes , yes y alright , , out again . # Then they tell their da . # And then you know the way your he head goes over and you # Oh ! # Maybe reading the Daily Express , you get up and the fucking paper's all over the floor and you # you've kicked it when you oh God . # But I don't sleep # here well I did tonight like cos I was up at half five # but normally I can't sleep here I al I always admired anybody that could sleep with a for yea it's only this last couple of years I can do it , no I mean I'll doze . # But now I slept this morning on the settee . # Ah # Aye # Yes . # # Oh yes if something's on your mind you can't sleep at all . # Aye # Oh # Yeah # Yeah # Oh # Och aye yeah # Well you didn't go to bingo then ? # When you saw them , you come back yeah # You had to come back . # Well that's true . # Sure I do though . # Cup of coffee your mum's gonna make for Dawn . # No don't , no , not normally Jean I don't . # No I don't normally do that . # I've seen them sitting down to their dinner no no # I see them down to their dinner and I have the pots done before I take a bite # Oh aye . # I hate dishes sitting done , oh fuck I # Forget it , forget it # Oh I don't mind , I don't mind . # But do you , you know the best way to do it ? # Now say for instance er I do the pots # because there's no room in the wee # rack for fucking plates , so I put them away and the best way to do it is if sit at the table , you wash and I'll dry or I'll dr you er dry and I'll wash , well what # Half , half the time # Yeah # But all # Yes , yes but if you do that you're , you're , you're tea towel's soaking and at the end of the night # nothing's getting dried . # You can dry no gla a gla what does a glass look like if it's had a di dry with a damp cloth ? # Fuck all # Oh well it , right enough , yeah . # Do a cup of coffee now Jean for God's # I hate dishes . # And I hate anything sitting on the table top . # If I had , if I had room I'd have nothing , toaster and that I hate it all # But yet I happened to say to Carole one night , she says no I love to see what I bloody own well I suppose it's you've got microwave and a wee oven or whatever # Aha . # Electric one's far safer isn't it ? # Oh aye # Mhm . # I wouldn't have one about now . # Yes # Oh we've plenty of room there for that you know . # But then the # minute it's cold I put it in # put the lid on it and put it in . # But they're far safer Dawn . # Aye . # Well # Oh right # Use Jif . # Och I use Jif . # I'll tell you what I do you know like it goes black ? # . # You see a paint scraper ? # I scrape it . # Oh aye . # Scrape it , then I get the Jif on my finger , you know round the cloth round the finger # do that . # Please . # But er I'll tell you the most dangerous thing a tin of peas , if you put it into your pot there's sugar in it , if you look at that , the ingredients # on a tin of Batchelor , there's sugar in them # right ? # Now one day , you can't leave it on the hob , one day we were sitting here and I don't normally , if I put anything on I sit in there rea you've seen me go in on a Sunday # reading the paper and all while I'm watching whatever's on # but we let it run over and the sugar the hob and it , there's , there's a chunk out of it # it's actually bubbled the glass , there's a big groove in it , you can see it in the back ring , I'm telling you . # And if we'd # if we , if we'd've left it long enough # it would right through the element . # But I use a paint scraper . # Now , I mean if you run your finger over it , right ? # And you can feel where , where the rough edge is # and you just very easy with Jif that # I would say well use Mr Muscle on it oven cleaner , but you have to # wh where you put it . # I've used a paint scraper . # Right . # Yeah . # Right # Oh we # That's right that's right . # Well I , I've , but er , no but er the only reason you haven't got it off , if you use Jif , I've used Jif # Well I don't know what it does , but the only reason you can't get it off is you're not working it , it's hard work to get it off Dawn . # Well I'll show you the , the what do you call it , the back , what the sugar did , and I'm putting it down to sugar . # What son ? # I'm sorry love , I'll do it you know that # I'll do it before you're up in the morning # What ? # Let me see son . # performance , maximum speed # two thousand metres an hour # She kno everybody knows you do it love . # Oh thanks Dawn . # get my matches . # and come back again . # Alright ? # Say come back again and she shouldn't be long . # now . # Right . # The last time , Dawn if I grew a beard the ginger comes through it , I grew a moustache , it was ginger # Yes . # Oh Jesus fucking in the name of , Willy get a shovel # shovel Willy # Here son . # Here Willy er t turn your head Dawn , sorry # Yeah . # Here , here , here never mind him , he's alright , he's himself . # Come here Willy . # Urgh urgh urgh urgh ooh ooh fuck me that was a # Come here here Willy # here Willy no Willy quick I don't want my spaghetti here . # Oh fucking , suffering , fucking Jesus Christ the dirty , Jean get the mop # Here Dawn take this up to the children . # Fuck I Jean get the hot water , oh fuck ! # Willy . # come on . # here , go on , here . # Jean away and get the basin love . # We've done our bit . # Oh for fuck ! # No it's not Raymond , it's fucking ringworm # Where was Willy ? # In the fucking sink . # in the bin . # Dawn's not coming back just yet # Down the sink . # How about drinking that coffee son ? # Would you believe that ? # I mean # see I fed the dog Dawn , I get a and er I fell , well , he got fed about five o'clock tonight you know . # Raymond I don't overfeed the dog son # I would have him like a fucking Biafran . # Oh aye just down the corner , it's just there . # There . # Yeah . # Oh ! # I've fucking # He'd have been fucking if there had've been . # Look at your man in East Belfast # No Jean . # Ah but there's no bins now I mean with the wheelie bins they're the g best thing ever , stops rats , dog everything . # Now that was pure spaghetti Jean . # Come on now , come on there's ladies present , come on . # Ah no , ah no , aye probably did . # Have a look Willy , do you see it ? # Is there a ? # Come on Willy . # Side of your mouth is all white there Willy . # No it's just white . # You can see it from here , # What ? # Do you think so ? # God help you Willy # Aha . # Oh fuck he's drinking out of that cup look look he's a devil , he's a # Willy in the , in the thing there . # Fucking shame an Easter egg . # Give us my cup over . # Give me my cup over . # Yeah he actually had a # Oh no I don't like that . # # Fuck . # The , the interviewer the other day said that she was somebody stopped her in Sandy Row , at the bottom of Sandy Row , # and or she went to the door # with tins all over the sitting room . # different sizes . # she says the hum , and then she was telling us when she brought the tape back the other day one of her interviews was telling her she was interviewing this man s er out of , out of the blue take off all your clothes please . # Oh she says I couldn't possibly , my husband would be annoyed , he said no , take them off # the woman # Oh # Willy I have no idea son . # I have no idea . # You , you apply for , yes # Oh it was # Know what I hated about the fella failed the test # the man shouting across the square at him . # You know they made a of him # least he fucking tried # shot the fucking bastards . # Oh fuck it is . # Course there's no room for mistakes like , I mean they # Yeah . # Well Willy you'll not get it without er working hard at school , that's where it all starts . # It starts in school . # See years ago you used to # Well he was in it but he won't go back . # Years ago you used to have the boys' service you see ? # Because , now Lyndsey joined it and he , he said like when he was eighteen he knew it all , and he says you were watching men of twenty who'd just joined at training # and he says they looked he says but I never forgot what I looked like , or what I when he started , but you can't join the boys' service now . # He had to come out with diabetes and all , he's a pension . # Ah # Aye . # Oh aye ? # Aha # You commit perjury or something do you ? # Anyway you haven't played fair with them . # Sure Micky his er , I think it's his uncle # or his father , was inside and he got and he got his MP on the job # Mhm and he was held up because of it and they got Martin on the job and he wrote to hi er to the War Secretary , whatever you call it , you know Secretary of State # You see they find out # Now I listen to there , I don't listen as often now unless there's something big on , and you hear them , you know ,check on , whatever it is , your vehicle check and I have seen them as little as five seconds coming back and saying who owns that car # it's a blue Toyota registered to Mr Jim # at blah blah blah whatever it is , that's how quick they are . # So if they can do that , they can look up anything . # No son . # Aye # Well that's good . # How much did you get for it ? # Oh Willy er Willy you'll get nowhere like that . # Cos he would maybe , you see you've gotta say now , would that fella take anything from me for er you know helping me if he's decent and he won't then you help him . # But don't let them make a pig of you . # Oh aye . # Is that Gary ? # You'll not jump over too many er high walls Willy with smoking # I'm telling you . # Ah # Mm . # Willy let the dog out to do what it wants to do . # Let him out in the garden Willy . # Give us that book over on your way past . # Do you think so ? # You can't t er # Dawn you can't talk to him , I'm telling you , I've tried . # Mhm # He can't . # Like you take , you take your sons why wasn't I born first # Johnny did you see ? # And where is he ? # Och Willy er Johnny don't be so ill mannered . # Willy is this our book ? # Twenty four pound ninety five . # Not to be taken away . # Aye . # I know son # I know that . # No # I got John to join the library and I take and I've got his er I've got his ticket . # You know what I hate about it ? # There's some of the books are filthy that people leave back , you've no idea . # Maybe Jim'll have the dishes done . # Maybe Jim'll have the dishes done when you're back . # Oh they're showing Naked Gun on the television . # I haven't seen that . # Och he knows you're in safe hands like when you come round here . # Oh fuck # Oh Jesus . # That's going back . # I said it's going back , I didn't say it was stolen . # And left her poor st her brother standing in the hall . # We came up from York Street today , you know we walked # Court ? # And er whatever way I brought them we ended up in Street and you know the King George the Sixth Hall ? # The big hall there ? # Well our company decided to send us for a fucking first aid course and this , it's er most embarrassing on this particular night we'd stopped in er in the Chapel Hill in Lisburn # I was drinking Monk and Monk was a heavy beer so fuck I gets out of the car and fucking oh fuck , but anyway said to me look I'll go up , say my name , and I'll bring you home , I was living with my sister at the time and I sat on a wee low wall , I'm just the wall ,fu fuck I , in the middle of the day ,nobody , they were just drinking er Dawn this is way were , it's fucking maybe twenty five years ago , twenty six and er fuck he sat me on the wall he had to s I couldn't see he says to me er fucking I heard a voice , Raymond like this is the exam tonight you'll have to sit there . # I says alright Dawn er Graham , I couldn't lift my fucking head . # So I'm sitting and getting worse if I opened my eyes it went like that , the whole fucking sky was going round . # So I'm sitting all I can hear , I'll never forget it ah God help him fucking somebody from ah Go God help him next thing will we get an ambulance ? # Say no I'm alright and I must've lifted my head , all I could hear was this old scraggy voice like a witch ,ah serve the fucking bastard right ,the fucking honest to fuck , so I must've sat for another half an hour and I knew I had to go that way to get home . # I ended up on the front fucking wheels of a pushbike # I swear to God , in Willington Place I'll , pitch black , never forget it . # And all I remember was saying oh ! # There between my legs , the front wheels , and I ended up holding the handlebars and staring into this wee boy's face a look of sheer fucking terror on his face , # fucking , oh j I don't know how I got home . # All I can hear to this , to this day remember is flashing lights and doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo go home you bastard ! # Doo I must've crossed every fucking road # Oh aye ? # Sure her her sister was coming er down , er t Carole was coming down Donegal Avenue one night and said to John fuck some woman's gonna have a rough time she says # ah she said she saw this fella hitting the wall and hitting the football halfway out in the road , it was fucking me . # Ah but everybod er sorry , they did things for me # bastard . # if you ev if she ever says to you she hasn't seen you since whatever it was , you say Carole it works both ways , I haven't seen you either . # No . # Like she wasn't too busy when she brought the youngsters # home last Saturday , or whatever it was , to come round . # See she'll always # No , no no no once every . # She buys them and takes them to and all # but the point is she uses us to get to John , so it's like would you ask John . # And I feel like saying # Yes exactly . # Exactly . # Well no , a mother , a mother might keep a family together in the sense that they all meet there on a Saturday # but a mother can't make the family like each other any better # you know ? # They can't . # See your mum was te terrorized of Carole # Yes . # And that's wrong but if you , if you told Carole that she wouldn't believe you . # But I know she was . # And I'll tell you better than that # I'll tell you better than that and I didn't know until her John told me . # He says do you know that they get cooked ham sandwiches and you get toast ? # I says you're joking . # When Carole and John went down , they were sat down , cooked ham sandwiches . # When Jean and I went down the toaster was put on . # We got toast . # I didn't know it # Yes , mhm . # And made them a f and they look for their fry every Saturday and I stopped doing it . # Like when your mother got to that age , as John told me , you bring her in the food # she doesn't bring it in for you . # Now I thought it was wrong , I even stopped them getting a fry . # Fucking pan was rotten anyway . # Mm . # It was fucking # You wouldn't ha you wouldn't have done it to a dog though . # Yeah that was Debbie . # Ah # Aye # That's right . # What about the day she collapsed in the the hairdressers and only we're going for a drink . # # Ah that was a ridiculous thing , when your family comes you shouldn't be like that . # Well he looked forward to his fry . # I heard him saying there one day er where's , what no fry today mother ? # Cos he only got sandwiches . # Who said this ? # Oh , I used to fucking wait on him . # He was one time . # There's no D in it Johnny , it's water . # I'm only telling you . # # What ? # Good . # Willy away and and bring back the matches please . # Who ? # Aye . # and next week too # same thing . # What ? # Oh Jesus I hate # For fuck's sake Dawn you'd come back to a fucking siege . # Fucking windows broke . # Come on Willy . # Can't even get into a pub . # You're right . # Ah well don't yous two # in front of witnesses , don't you # I used to get taxis down from to Bangor or Carrickfergus . # Is he a driver ? # Oh . # Mm # Oh # Oh Jesus . # Sure are . # Big Dessie , he come into work one day , he was and he come into I'll see you in a minute Raymond , flew into the kitchen , and he runs past with a bo bottle of water and I goes out and he's scrubbing the front passage you see . # Said what's wrong , he says Raymond I'm taking him down the Grosvenor Road and there's fucking old Paddy , we used to work with him , standing outside the f you know opposite The Royal ? # I said och give him a lift , this is halfway to Road . # I said Paddy what were you doing up there , he was at The Royal , are you bad then Paddy ? # Ah not too bad he says the doctor says I've got a festered back passage Dessie says and there he is scrubbing the fuck imagine # telling everybody like you'd got a festered back # passage . # Willy . # Oh aye # Aye , # Was he ? # That's what Mrs said they're not coming from the Falls Road Sandy Row . # Fucking right too . # Times change Jean . # Not at all . # We did not . # You said get into it , do you not mean get back into it ? # Sure they were pleading for protestants to go up there # Mhm # What did he say ? # Well we , come on come on now , bladder it in . # Oh lovely . # Oh # Oh aye . # I never liked him . # What ? # Who ? # Oh aye , Reg . # And he's bigger . # Ah he knows he it all . # They're well matched . # But that er what do you call it ? # Eastenders now is all doom and gloom . # Now you need er # Dot Cotton # and Nick . # Who's that playing ? # What did you say Johnny ? # What did you say about # Oh it's a terrible thing to say Willy . # Terrible . # This premier league's gonna do harm to the other # lesser , the smaller divisions # Ah that's right . # I'd love to see a match where he sent the whole fucking lot off . # I'd love to watch a match where he sent the whole lot off . # something # Ooh ! # Do you know what they see years ago what their fellas used to on the footpath bending over and doing that # You don't see that now . # Sure look at the night , Saturday night he came round to our door ,big black stain said you're alright man , I was , you're alright man I had a half bottle of cider er er # I wouldn't let him through the fucking door . # Aye . # I used to that , I used to see the old fellas doing # He's a fucking old he was . # I'll never forget them cupboards wardrobe . # There was four different colours of doors on them . # He pu # No I , I wanted built them wardrobes and I said now Monty whatever you fucking need I'll get # I had to one night the fucking er babysitter was half gassed it's honest , we opened the fucking , she's # he'd punctured the fucking upstairs gas pipe # but , and then a fucking second time , the er the gasman laughed at me , says mister I don't know what's happening but this is the second time . # I got a bill fifteen pound a time . # So he says to me , see we had three wardrobes in our bedroom # you couldn't get through them # it was like a maze , and he said to me Raymond you leave it to me , I'll build these cheap as possible , but he made a good , the principle was # but he used , instead of him buying the wood or getting me to give him the money for the wood , he cannibalized the fucking wardrobes and used the sides and the # see there was three different colours of wood . # You could , er they were , they were a great job # you know ? # Aye he'd no money . # Sure Gazzie said that about her , went up to her house , I heard her . # Slippers on and a fucking old nightdress no housecoat . # Oh aye , yes yes yes . # Oh . # Yeah I left him one day , we went round to the pub I said don't open that door there's a match on fucking Ivy gets a phone call all the windows were put fucking in # They were gonna stab one fella and he fucking and then broke our windows . # Course I mean the m fella would have been stabbed to fucking death if he hadn't . # Aye down our way . # He wasn't there . # He wasn't there , you # he wasn't there . # Dawn here's this couple of wee , not much I'm afraid . # See you later Dawn . # Cheerio Dawn . # Willy put the sauce in and here , here Willy here's a cup on the hearth , two cups . # It's just to keep it tidy for me and your mummy coming down in the morning son . # I know . # Is there ? # Is there much ? # Shouldn't have give him that tin , that's why dogs are that's why you're instructed to feed a dog once a day or whatever it is . # I'll do them love sure you know that . # Johnny do you want the T V off ? # Looked so fed up tonight love . # Is something wrong in the house ? # Dawn . # Ah # Yeah . # She heard David saying ? # Aye hurt . # Yeah . # No away you go . # Hey come here , come here ! # Come here ! # Come here son . # What do you mean supper ? # Now Johnny we won't make any difference you know that now and # Ah it's a wee bit like saying that about us . # Wouldn't you after throwing up though love ? # And what ? # She takes him everywhere , yeah . # Ah she # big ones ? # Mhm . # Oh aye . # Right . # Did Johnny give you a kick there ? # Last night . # Right . # Aye . # Ah . # Aha . # Mhm # life's strange . # Aye . # That's right . # But it's no way to settle an argument by ignoring it you know it or letting your er letting your # mind run riot . # You , I mean , if she if she likes the girl , which she obviously does , why not just rap her door or wait till she sees her and say you know # whatever you call it , did I do something on you , and why are you treating me like that but th # this silent business or silent treatment er it only leads to worse trouble . # Ah yeah , another five P , sixty five P . # Fucking extortionate bastards . # There's no justification for it . # They're too expensive as it is . # They blame it on the bombers . # The bus has been burned and the bus has been blew up and hijacked # Yeah . # Mhm . # Aye # Mm . # What's wrong Jean ? # Right we'll go to bed . # Good dog Patch , good dog . # Raymond Raymond # Come on and get your breakfast . # Hurry up . # Oh no ! # Patch get out of there . # Patch stop eating that . # Lovely . # Who's up ? # Good it's er twenty past eight . # Oh . # Come on Patch . # Patch . # Do you want an egg ? # Right , Patch Get him down here Jean . # Alright love . # Ye gods . # Are you getting ready Jean ? # Are you getting ready ? # Jean get Raymond up . # Jean , your egg's ready your toast . # Jean do you want tea and toast ? # Right Raymond it's up to you , come on . # Are you up Raymond ? # What have you got Patch ? # What have you got ? # Here's your breakfast Raymond . # What ? # Whose is this cigarette ? # Oh Spilled my cup of tea over the tablecloth . # Well wasn't it better than around my knees though ? # Eh ? # out of it or your place . # chewed to ribbons . # I dunno , wee round one . # And the curtain was away way back , that one at the T V . # Patch come here ! # Come here . # Lie down . # That's it . # Lie down ! # Good dog . # There's another # Tarzan picture . # What ? # Ah well as long as he ,Pa Patch ! # Come here . # Take him over here Raymond , oh no he's sitting beside you , you're alright . # Brownie's not as bad this morning Jean . # He's not as All the programmes are changed this morning ,the youngsters being off school and so instead of the news it's all these youngster's programmes . # That means Steven and Kelly will sit in there all day . # Aye he was sick twice Raymond . # Him had a dose of the screaming heebies . # Wouldn't bung us an ashtray on your way past , is it up there ? # Or is it on the hearth ? # Big brown one . # Well what's happening this morning Jean , where we going ? # Are you gonna get your hair done or are you gonna stay here ? # Well can you not go down in the morning when you're a bit better ? # Or come down later on today . # Eh ? # I'm not trying to stop you going down Jean do you know that now , don't you ? # Ah but you're not the You know I'm not going down by bloody choice no not by choice . # Yes well you can tell me what they're getting and I'll take them down . # Those pictures are awful on T V Jean what have you found Jean ? # Jean , what ? # Come away from your mouth , take it away from your mouth , you feel what ? # Sick , Jesus # You know that fella that Maurice er that plays Tarzan Johnny Weismuller , whatever you call him , I met his what do I say , a girl who , who was a cousin to him , aha , she was a yank of course # Will you remember about the letter ? # I have none # no , no , no , leave us a couple just on the table and yourself # listen son , you see Thomas about those er # alarm , I hope they're not running about in the barn all day going bad , we'll all get fucking poisoned , did you leave us a couple ? # Great , you got your bus money ? # You okay now son ? # See you later # watch yourself # Cheerio now # your mum'll be here she says # Jean , we'll go down to where's the fifty P shop or something and buy some of those do , er cornflakes' plates or something , say they're gonna fill those other ones up that the man give us a mere seven , eight ones , only leaves us four ordinary , you see I know for a fact that Sally say he was caught # you watching it ? # Ah , I don't trust him # How do you feel love ? # Well I'll go and get ready then , I'm not going yet right , I'll get on my shirt and I'll take the bed down and tidy up , right , and rake that fire out , do you hear the dogs snoring ? # That's a point # John said he's going to get you one of those T-shirts , I get one anyway if you wanna try sit there all morning after yesterday , you think our Jeanie went to the court ? # Cos I was , I said to the youngsters yesterday , I says I'll tell you what we'll do , we'll just take your trainers tomorrow , or we'll go down the town and put your competition paintings in and then we'll come round and get the bus up home , and then I thought ah the hell with it we'll go on down to York Street # now we are down that far , so I did everything so I've nothing to do for them this morning , just sit there # I don't think so love there's the first of the money lender so only a big one , once # only a hundred , if I had dough , that much money Jean # was she also surprised ? # oh # I told you I saw Charlene # saw Charlene , did , wait until I get a shirt on and my socks Jean , oh # watch the wee dog doesn't get out Jean , watch yourself # It's alright I get it come in # Ah come in # You ready for this ? # Well up , well I've only got about er , we're only on ninth one just # and now there all full up # Aha , I put it er # I put it everywhere , see Jean didn't I ? #