#
Shandy #
So basically your moving in about four weeks time #
So that means party time . #
You're for ever stuffing your face #
did you know that ? #
aha #
mm , mm #
Why ? #
So what nineteen thousand paid ? #
mm could prove difficult but how can you pay that much off ?does if , I suppose if they #
what's there to put , took an extra twenty thousand on from the beginning ? #
So are nan and granddad totally for the idea and everything and moving now ? #
Er we going to have a look round the house one more time ? #
Why ? #
The measurements are already there #
Ah , can you imagine trying to curtain that big room , the dining , the ballroom bit #
Drawing room , whatever it's called , it's huge , it has windows all the way round , it has bow windows innit ? #
You have to keep the erm , , what's the name of the stuff ? #
Er floor tiles down , wooden floor tiles . #
What do you mean wooden floor ? #
Floor tiles . #
So what are they ? #
Are they expensive ? #
They expensive ? #
If you polish those up we can keep them #
so we're not having carpets down ? #
Well , then , exactly that's not going to cost much is it ? #
Cost less than carpets #
Yeah , expensive , but you get that from work #
it's not a great deal , hassle , but the garden's gonna look good when we've finished it , get in the straight first day in we'll hack down the back tree . #
Where they going ? #
Oh god #
Seven ? #
Ah #
I suppose so #
How long are they going for ? #
Yeah , that's not bad . #
A hundred , hundred odd #
so all hundred odd ? #
So in other words they're gonna bring its new place ? #
So how we gonna get hundred a hundred odd trays down to us ? #
Have to hire a van ? #
Yes , I suppose so #
Has he done loads this year ? #
Oh , why haven't they done as many as last year ? #
They didn't , we used them all #
we'll certainly be needing them this year , cos the garden's bare . #
God it's expensive there #
aquarium are #
Oh #
it's nice #
Plants #
It died , oh that big thing we had outside ? #
Mm #
I , I know the one yeah #
Probably cost a fortune all the plants at Ruxley , Ruxley is not a good place to go #
Yeah , but look at the prices though #
cos they , that's the only good garden centre around that's , that's why they cost so much #
No , it's not as big there #
Mm #

She only saves a matter of fifteen P and gets it all back on the petrol #
Well that's stupid #
Yeah , but she had that many last time #
she had five hundred sort of flowers #
We don't even eat the damn stuff #
Oh , he always gets extra priorities doesn't he ? #
Little David , her apple #
in her eye #
Did she miss me ? #
Ha #
Week after next ? #
Oh #
Well she hasn't she's got different #
exams time , date , I think we're having it the earliest of the lot , for some stupid reason because Mel doesn't appear to be having them till late either . #
Her's is late May , they start #
No the majority of mine will be finished by May the twenty fourth #
I'm not , it's only over a two week period , they're jammed in , I'm getting in several days , all I have is three exams #
No , no #
No , not many at all but , yeah , that's ridiculous Caroline's down then #
Mm #
Mm #
Mm #
Mm #
Well Mel , Mel's been er holiday is this week , next week coming #
erm off today as well , so that's why , but that , that's I suppose is late as well #
Mm , there's a lot of people who've erm , I mean a lot of s all the T V companies are putting programmes on for next week #
for people , kids being off , so it's obvious the rest of the country's off that week , and so it's probably only a few limited schools #
is a pain in the arse , warm in here #
innit ? #
So er it's stupid well there you go , what's for dinner by the way ? #
Mm , cos Morris is coming down isn't he ? #
Oh not chips again , please not chips again #
I've had four lots of chips this week and I'm getting fed up with chips #
I've had three lots of pizza this week and I'm getting fed up with pizza #
I had chow mein last night #
but I had pizza yesterday , lunch #
Not lucky me I can't stand it after a while . #
We went fishing by the way #
pathetic , it's gonna freeze up again this afternoon down at Bournemouth , gonna have fish off the pier , go for some bees , but I couldn't be bothered but there was nothing , it was too damn cold , it must of been minus five with the wind chill factor #
absolutely horrendous , oh by the way you didn't thank me for getting those yoghurts did you ? #
Well he didn't remember , I did #
Well you wouldn't of got them if it wasn't for me #
Mm , get one in a minute #
Yeah alright , alright #
I know #
Yes you have #
he's in a foul temper isn't he today ? #
Oh its stupid #
Just talk look #
come on you #
Oh you're a doctor you're supposed to talk #
No thank you #
er #
you're basically supposed , goes Longman's , Longman's dictionary #
No #
they're basically #
But erm you get paid twenty five quid for doing it , so #
it's worth about that #
Well she collared me yesterday , unfortunately , so I've gotta do it until #
Well so do I , I need a lot of money , a lot a lot of money #
Save it #
So you're basically going to erm , you're not going to get rid of me #
yes , I'm not going , I'm only , I'll still be here at the weekend #
no , I'm not leaving , I'm still here for #
No I'll commute every day #
as if , er Saturday and Sunday #
Yeah #
Ah #
what I'm gonna do #
no , I mean commute , good morning Jane #
Oh thank you Jane #
nice to know somebody's going to be polite this morning #
No you're not supposed to because it's still recording , you basically be polite and #
True #
Oh thanks a lot #
Oh you're disappointed now aren't you , that I , coming back , it's really upset you #
Yeah #
I'm not going , I'm not leaving #
no way #
Yes , I have a job here #
It's really #
I've really enjoyed doing it #
But I work very hard during the week #
Er , er , are you going to sort of give me a timetable that I can read through to the phone and that it's not booked up #
three quarters of an hour last week #
Just #
oh it's nice to be , he say glad and happy I was moving #
It doesn't bother me #
No , that's his normal voice , ow #
No #
Do you want it ? #
Not really #
Why not ? #
I've saved my money as much as possible #
I'm opening my own business so I need a lot of money #
Yep #
Aquatic retail #
yeah , this is a good thing for the tape innit ? #
I , oh yeah #
So er what do you think I should call my business ? #
But erm #
Well it's more likely to be yours as well you see #
have to persuade you #
if you pay some money , yes #
When I make a profit #
Depends how well the business is doing #
Ha , you get ready to jump , plunge off the side #
Oh that's quite honest , it's perfectly normal , but erm , I'm trying to persuade your dad to buy forty percent of the shares #
that'll only cost you a small amount #
small amount of #
What ? #
Bull what ? #
It will cost a little bit #
Don't know yet #
Could call that yeah #
Er I'm gonna have an interview with a guy next week about some stuff , so I should find out , I have had three replies from the fifteen I've sent out , I sent out another five last night this is #
Companies #
Information on #
Of course I am #
Of course I am #
Of course it does #
of course it's serious it's costing me two and a half grand at least #
I'm not joking , spending a fortune #
Yeah #
No , don't be stupid #
What you will ? #
I don't know how much he's paying , I don't even know if he wants to do it yet , it's me who's got to talk to firms #
I've gotta think of a name though , I like that actually #
The boyfriend #
I like that , that's good #
What are customers ? #
That's quite good for you , yeah , not bad oh good it is recording , erm #
No they gave it to me #
No #
So I give you the address the , the tel telephone number , you can ring her up #
Oh god #
Let's face it we all do #
So what , you get twenty five quid for it #
that's what I'm gonna do , stupid #

Yeah that's , that , but doesn't realize who it is when #
Dad's not allowed to take it to work unfortunately so #
Cos he can affect some , all the stuff is secret #
It's a pain #
Do what ? #
Yeah , right #
Ah Louise here comes the star of the show #
You're looking very smart #
I wasn't lying #
Mum can you get my #
Are we off now dad ? #
Yeah #
Well dad that's the best way of doing it #
Oh yeah so yeah so do I , oh exactly #
And it is a problem #
Yeah #
I must of tried probably fifteen times last night to get through . #
Yeah #
Yeah #
Exactly #
Oh I agree #
Exactly , yes , true #
oh yeah , yes , I agree , if #
for too long it does add up #
I'm not altogether surprised , but #
No question you're doing , exactly needed #
You have to it is your phone #
You've got Jane as well #
Jane and Clare now is it ? #
She speaks to her friends quite a lot #
Well that is stupid #
It's alright if it's a three minute call like you say #
Yeah #
Yeah #
exactly #
I don't start doing it , I , well don't blame you , yeah . #
You see I get erm #
I think it's ridiculous of Alistair but he , it is his business , you see , I'm gonna use the phone a hell of a lot when I get mine going , but I will #
Exactly #
Exactly #
Exactly and that's what I'm gonna do , exactly #
Yep , I agree , exactly and that's the only way you can do it cos then you , you don't get any problems that the call's been er interacting #
exactly , it's the only way you can do it and I wouldn't do it any other way , because I don't bel I don't , I don't think it's fair , if I was using the phone continually I'd get rather annoyed , I mean that I'd , they'd have a right to be annoyed , but as I don't I think it's ridiculous so I'm not hardly surprised at all , so I think it's stupid as you say , but there you go . #
Oh , why don't you put a pay lock on ? #
Mum and dad have threatened that regularly #
Watch #
Exactly , so what were you saying ? #
You do er , what ? #
You were saying about the phone , you were , you were thinking about doing whatever #
Yeah but would you need that ? #
Why not keep the phones such as the main one downstairs and the other one as open , I mean as closed and have your own personal one upstairs , in your room or whatever #
well I , as I say I've got a , see I'm , you have this #
Yes , that's , that's the , that's the way to do it #
or why don't you have erm , get the girls to pay a percentage of the bill , get them to note down all the calls they make and work it out , that's a way of doing it #
What do you mean what with ? #
Money #
you take it out their pocket money #
Fine #
That's the way that mum and dad #
See we've got four phones in our house and it does add up #
we've got four phones in our house in operation #
so we've got that and so I , er , I'm gonna have to , how much does it cost to put your own line in ? #
I mean there's this line #
this is all things I've got to consider when I'm starting this thing #
It's gonna cost me a fair bit to get lines to the house I want so I've got , er I , the problem is with , as dad was saying this morning , the majority of people when they're starting their business they go to the wall because oh they're going in for the , oh it's gonna be a quick sale #
and we're gonna get quick turnover and we're gonna start making loads of money easily #
but you don't #
Exactly and if , if you can break even in the first #
two years you're very lucky #
and that's what I'm gonna be aiming to do , if it , if I break even in two years I'd be happy cos I've made money back and then I'll be making profit after that , and you won't make it back in the first year , no way #
Well mum will be doing , mum'll be the secretary and then I will have someone in to do it #
I'm paying someone , I'll pay a Y T S guy to do it and that #
so that's why I need this summer and part of er working during the week , week days to get money to pay for it #
cos er , I , I'm selling the fish tank for a start , for a hundred #
I'm selling the fish tank to get some money #
for er , I'm selling that for a hundred and thirty #
so , yeah I'm getting rid of that to get some #
I'm selling my , erm remote control car to get money #
Mm , yeah , I'm selling a fish tank #
Yep , to get rid of that #
so that's going for a hundred and thirty pounds #
Dunno I , there's a friend of mine and I'm selling it in the pa have to advertise in the paper as well so that money's going to it , I've made , I'm having a word with the bank manager for business facilities and then opening an account with him at the bank to er basically get some extra , a business account going which I don't touch , er I need to get credit facilities done on the bank , accounts and stuff , dad's gonna look through it completely with me and work everything out , but for the next six , seven weeks I'll be too busy with the school work to really concentrate on it , cos exams start at seven weeks time now #
so I'm going to be very busy doing the evenings , doing my work . #
I'm gonna make this work , I'm not rushing into it , I'm , I rush into a lot of things #
but I'm not rushing this time , cos I'm , if , I'm putting , I'm spending two and half thousand pounds on this , I'm not wasting my money #
cos it's a lot of money to be perfectly honest #
Bigger words ? #
Some bigger words , what kind of thing , er supercalologilistic #
Erm , protocol , that's a good one #
Mm , er what to think , oh I can't think of any words , oh we're going to go off for an interview now anyway . #
Mm , looks very nice #
Yeah , he's done a great job #
I like the bit where he's er wrapped the #
Yeah , they're brilliant #
Oh it looks very much mm snazzy now #
Well he did varnish it , didn't he ? #
So it's worth it for twenty quid innit ? #
Or twenty five #
So #
are you going to get all your #
like that ? #
So he obviously thought it was worthwhile doing that #
Well I liked it #
Exactly , so he's a #

Your definition of money of course , er , eh , well I suppose so , but well , there you go , so . #
No I think it's #
Oh well #
I don't know , I suppose you've still got your voucher , I get the voucher next Friday , so #
They pay you to do it #
Yes , a week #
I've only got a week to do them #
so I get paid twenty five #
pounds for doing it #
Yeah , it's not bad for a go . #
Kent , I've dr erm I've written to them so he's gonna send back a erm #
price list , well I'd of sent for them , they'll post them to me by Securicor #
Yes , it's only a , an hour #
they post them straight or I'll go and collect them . #
I'll be at home , idiot , or er , it's in Kent so I can get dad to pick them up for me #
so I'll get , I'll get all the prices whatever , he's got like thirty six inch coin er #
Japanese , it's a massive one , one er , it's a thirty thousand gallon erm pond and it's got , and it goes through a filter box and it's four and a half tons of erm four and a half tons and that is a lot of #
is the stuff that I've got in a little bag , got little bag full #
and that's where the that you've got in your pond #
that's how much four and a half ton of costs , just ever so slightly , it's more about #
er , so it's a bit expensive #
but erm , so I'll order them , I'll pay for them when I'm there you can pay back when when I get them #
Of course I'll get them #
Well why do you think they've advertised them ? #
Yes , but they're going and then they've got them in the ponds , they've got them all in their ponds , so they're obviously okay , they're for ponds so it , I think if we probably get ten , fifteen on the , cos I'm gonna be so used to seeing them , cos I'm gonna be ordering those , I'll order all the carps and you've got as well #
Yes so I'll get hold of some #
well , if you can get on with doing that thing , sit down and look through those magazines with me and I'll show you the prices that I can get them at retail I mean at trade , all the prices cos I've got that two and a half thousand gallon job and that is only seventy quid , so I'm just gonna have one of those , I'm gonna have that with a U V A filter and eight er eight watt U V A filter which is fifty quid , that then , which is for one of those tanks which is for three hundred and fifty , but that's not , I've that's #
retail I haven't worked out trade yet . #
So that's basically lost about five hundred quid a set #
thing and that's without a pump , so to set up it'll cost me probably a thousand and a bit and I want and then I'll need to have the rest of the money left over to survive #
do it that way , but I'm not rushing into this , I'm doing it very , very slowly cos it ain't worth it with that much money #
To be perfectly honest . #
Yeah he is isn't he ? #
Wake up mate , get out the middle of the road . #
Well you shouldn't play tennis on , on er on squash #
pathetic , it's ridiculous I really do . #
You tell them what you damn well think . #
I think it's absolutely , I think it's perfectly , thing is I think it's blooming awful I really do . #
You don't have to be careful , you obviously have to #
watch their fees , but they haven't watched yours for crying out loud it's quite obviously , but I think it's , it's ridiculous , because you're looking at doing it that way , the other , it's ridiculous #
Yeah , but it's not gonna go back and get her blamed #
it's erm , it's , it's not fair . #
If she's gone without asking anybody then , anybody fine , then maybe , maybe reasonable to #
she's asked you but then again I don't know the ins and outs of the practice or #
but I just think it's unfair the way they're treating you . #
I , if I was you , I'd be extremely pissed , but then again I've got the temperament where I won't sit down and take something if I don't like it . #
Exactly #
it's , it's , it's ridiculous I just think it's very unfair that they regard you that way . #
Mm #
Yes , it's only fair yes I would ah there you go , ah that's gonna ruin her weekend innit ? #
But it sounds as those , those two probably have the same feelings as you do , when it comes to the crunch they don't make a note #
Exactly , they know , exactly , so why the hell should you be quiet all the time ? #
It's not fair if you said how , what you feel , then maybe they'll change it but they're not going to do anything without them knowing you , because they don't know them until you've told them do they ? #
How can they change it if they don't know what you're feeling ? #
But they probably do they're too bloody erm , insensitive to bother #
Yeah #
Right #
Yes , oh yes #
Mm #
Mm #
We're not doing bad #
we've got those things there and we've got the erm garden done . #
There's a very huge amount we can do in winter #
No there isn't , right what'll we do tomorrow ? #
What do you want to get done tomorrow then ? #
I'll come dressed looking dirty here tomorrow #
or something like that #
Well we'll just have to work very hard tomorrow , tis #
quite simple #
Oh well , wouldn't go to him to be honest #
I wouldn't go to him to be perfectly honest #
Because he doesn't appear to do a very good job , he doesn't turn up when , at times , he doesn't ring you to tell why he's not turning up and that sort of person is not a good idea to go for #
unless you produce contracts , which is cheap , exactly , I'd rather pay for the quality #
Well , I think it's worth five hundred pounds then for the quality and the service #
Don't chew your nails #
Ah you could try that I suppose #
you could sort of wear it while you're playing #
What you wanna do is leave it in the squash club , in the actual er court #
take it down and put it in the bottom of the #
because then you can get , I can hear you two talking , and see what you're doing during sport , great idea , should try that . #
Well wouldn't they tell you ? #
Well you rang in #
cos there must be someone there #
Oh #
Well I'll give you a little knock around #
I'll give you a knock around #
if there's nobody else there #
Oh it's a bit , good God it's busy today #
Oh it's the Open this afternoon #
It's , it's the Open here I mean it's #
The erm , the championship #
this afternoon #
Yes it is #
I do believe so #
I believe #
What do you mean there's nobody here , it's packed #
Oh well #
Well I think you did very well much better than last time as it goes #
Oh he's no better than you #
No he wasn't #
No #
No he wasn't as , as , strong-wise he was hitting as well as you , but he was he wasn't as , much better than you at all . #
You are , you , you were very sort of standard-wise #
but I thought that you were very good today , much better than before #
and that I #
Exactly you'll get #
You loosen , exactly #
lot looser #
You didn't do your back #
Blasted traffic lights #
Oh well my head #
I've got a headache #
Pretty vicious actually #
God knows where it's from or why I've got it , but I have #
I canna stand #
What ? #
I'm gonna get stir crazy not being able to play badminton I know , and I score , it's gonna drive me crazy #
three months #
hell of a long time #
not to be able to play #
I'm cold #
Aha , I've been there twice #
been there two weeks ago , are you cold ? #
We had to pay , I did my arm in and I had to damn well pay #
to go in there #
Well we parked in the car park and he charged us in there #
It's sodding expensive #
Yeah don't go , at least we haven't got far to carry if she does #
No I didn't mean that #
Who did ? #
Did he ? #
Is he good ? #
Will you give me a game , when er my arm's better ? #
Why ? #
I can play badminton thank you , even though you've beaten me . #
But it won't be for a while #
What do you mean you'll never beat me ? #
Yeah , have a game if you like #
End of February , March , April ,God it's nearly the end of May before I can start playing again #
Went down and had a fish at Hills Bay on Wednesday #
What do you mean why ? #
Cos I wanted to #
Yeah #
Er ragworm #
Not a damn thing , I froze my nuts off , it was freezing . #
Yeah , me and my friend , were #
the only two #
Very #
Oh he's got all proper equipment , he is #
He didn't catch any either . #
We gave up after two hours it was too cold #
Yeah it was just #
just freezing . #
Oh God yes in the middle of the sea , yeah , you get loads #
but we were just down there #
fish were down there #
it was a bit cold #
puncturing ragworms was disgusting #
you hold the mouths open #
and stick it down , oh yuck #
Oh yeah , exactly #
Yeah there is #
Yeah #
Have a look at some really knives #
They're great prices , they got some lovely penknives #
Have a look at these penknives #
Erm #
Oh meant you , erm a vinegar jar #
Yes there's loads #
Well you're looking for a new penknife so look at the penknives #
Ah there we go , there's loads there #
Why is it everyone goes for the most difficult car parking spot ? #
Ha I don't believe #
No it's not me #
Blooming cheek . #
Oh well it was going when I was , you were talking all the way back from the squash club #
Yes , it is now #
Mind that lady , it does help if you #
Oh God , it's cold #
What number ? #
I notice he charges #
What ? #
Oh God that's awful #
she's an Essex girl #
I don't know , I wonder if I should explain it #
cold #
So where we off to now ? #
Where we off to now ? #
Right #
Well why don't you go over to Wimborne quickly and get it off of them ? #
Was #
that to be in a dictionary #
dent doolly a bump #
yes , well , oh I'm cold #
Ah she's #
Yeah , tape it as well #
Take it this way , this way in , yeah there's fishing down there , freezing #
Over there #
fish in line , fish in line with the wreck #
and then fished in line with the end of that reed boat #
didn't get a bite on any of them , not even a take , crabs #
oh the fish are about down there #
can you see ? #
Seagulls are out there #
Nothing noticeable , it's normally a good sign though #
put some speed on #
you are oh speed is ninety around here #
Speed limit's ninety around here #
Yeah , but we always go eighty , they always allow you to go ten #
what is she doing ? #
What a prat , she should of been further al further along #
Because you don't pull out in front of a car going seventy miles an hour #
Because it's an obnoxious move , it must be #
That is no I can't see , wow #
quick overtake her see if we can see #
No #
Do It All won't have one #
go and have a look in Atlantis while you're here #
Atlantis has got , they're an electrical shop , they're on sales , see if you can find #
you can see #
yes exactly , dad can get erm fifteen percent off there and you can give #
The plant #
Oh I love it #
Oh toxic #
No , #
Oh I didn't want to tell you this Phil , but #
it's the #
No , this isn't gonna smell , I like the condom it's wearing #
You can do a blue movie with this thing #
Oh dear #
Oh thank you , oh I love these , what you done to them ? #
What have you done ? #

I don't know why , good God what the hell's he doing over the road ? #
He's not supposed to be in there , what the bike is doing , you're not allowed to go on this road #
I rest my case #
Women #
Erm close your window #
otherwise you'll knock out the record #
I apologise for any temporary loss #
Boots #
Ah well , there we go #
there we go #
Yes , this #
Aha , you can try in Quick Save , they might have one #
You can try #
Oh yeah #
and where here ? #
I shall go in #
We didn't do bad here , it was quite quick actually #

Ah , but who's gonna pay for it oh hurry up , hurry up , hurry up #
I need the loo #
Thank you , I love these , mm #
What ? #
I just like them #
I just like them #
Mm , yeah #
Oh mind my fish erm best get all the work done tomorrow #
Cos we will I'll come dressed for dirty work tomorrow #
That's right #
Do you want Morse taken out ? #
Why's he home ? #
How ? #
Anything you want taped ? #
He started he's back next weekend #
Morse #
Brand new series , yes it is #
Yeah , brand new series #
It look's quite good actually #
Regan ? #
Oh #
Oh right #
I doubt it #
Do you want that taped ? #
Alright then , oh Regan as in Sweeney ? #
Oh #
Oh right , yes yes the Sweeney it's quite good it ba , ba , ba with Dennis Waterman ,ba , ba , do , ba , ba , ba , ba , ba , ba quick mow that jogger over got him , now we've got time turn this when we've done this , erm , put the plants in and everything till I gave it at table tennis #
Well we'll get the motor work done first #
then play table tennis #
Yes , I've gotta have a chance to win again #
Er , no you won six five #
Yes #
It was quite disastrous #
so we'll go from er six five up to whatever #
Er are they swans or geese ? #
Geese , get the guns #
They're not herons , herons don't fly in threes #
Ones they're still #
On their own #
Singularly yeah that's not so bad #
We we can have a game of count down masters #
cogitation don't follow that one up #
Come on oh the loo , how much further is it ? #
I'm getting desperate #
Desperado , singular desperate #
Latin for desperado #
Lovely #
Well it was a woman come on #
women don't comprehend roundabouts , driving cars #
you should know that by now , nothing is ever #
What ? #
They're not mine , don't worry #
I love it , I love it . #
So why have you started taking up the bag ? #
The sweets #
I don't mean , I mean why have you taken up the other , the plastic bag and put it in that ? #
Oh , oh you can pop in and get your fishing magazines while you're down here #
Well why not ? #
Your fishing guides #
It shouldn't be it's six o'clock #
Oh fish and chips , I fancy fish and chips #
Well I fancy the woman serving #
It's a woman , I wouldn't mind her on a bed of lettuce , ha , get out the way morons . #
Have you ever tried Max's kebabs ? #
Mm , pretty good , hey there's Danny's dad , he'll go right up high , erm up er , up Roman Road , I bet you #
That one in front see it's gone , ram him over #
not to over there , dear oh dear #
Oh he's going the wrong way , moron , mm , where's he going ? #
Wow oh dear #
I now realize why it was reaching love it , it's getting right #
So if we're going to do er I'd better unclip this hadn't I ? #
Yes #
not once #
Oh that's awful #
You'd thought that these houses could of least put a bit of paint on #
Make it look more attractive #
They look grotty like that #
I still think that you should buy Jean a Range Rover #
She likes them , nice cars #
they're beautiful #
What do you mean difficult to run ? #
They're a damn sight more efficient than this I'll tell you that for a start #
they take more petrol , but servicing-wise they don't require as much #
Well just because this is a Jag H J six convertible , it's neither here nor there #
Oh I suppose so #
well this is a classic car as they go #

What ? #
I don't know if we're supposed to be talking er French #
Ah at last home #
So that's basically , I now got a B grade for and that gives #
so that's English , and I've gotta get , er he reckons he'll get a B grade for the er lit , but I was so cheesed off with that erm piece I got today , thirty five and thirty five , one mark off being er an A , he put at the bottom aargh , if only you'd seen the lousy ending , cos he said if I'd got the , an extra couple of sentences it er would of been forty eight , forty , so that's , so annoying , but I've now gotta write an informal letter , I don't know how that comes under informal letter #
Can you put bad spellings in those as it's informal ? #
That's not formal #
it's that use of formal #
You said write like a formal letter #
Oh #
Er #
see if I can get a grade A for this one , that , if I can get a grade A for the er next two pieces that I'm doing , which I've got to hand in , that could take me to a B grade after that . #
No he said don't give them in yet , but do the informal first , so I'll do the informal , we've got to do an informal #
Yeah I'll do it later #
Dinner's now #
Twenty minutes #
Yes it's easy enough those so , I hope they don't get bitchy because most of mine are on , on the computer #
Yeah , I might do #
Erm , oh I've got another piece back that I've twenty nine , twenty nine as it goes #
Yeah , but that goes , that goes in the lit file , so I got rid of my er with the thirty five I managed to get rid of erm #
They're at school in a box #
but er , so now I've got a thirty six , thirty five , thirty four , thirty four , thirty four , thirty two and thirty , so that's a B count in B file , so there's no hassle with that , but if I can get on and get rid of the er , I've got twenty eight , twenty nine in there as well , er twenty eight in there as well , so I want to get rid of the twenty eight and twenty nine but it is a guarantee that a B file , so there's #
no real worry about it , but erm I want to do better #
Yeah , he still keeps far faffing around with the erm whatever detail , yeah , he still hasn't given it to us #
Science #
No #
No #
Because I didn't have time , but er they started geography course work today and I was out the lesson #
The drama thing , so I'm a se a section hand already on that and I've even got a , well we're supposed to listen to it tomorrow , we've got a tutor period instead , so it means that we miss another lesson #
Yeah , I'm out tomorrow night , I'm out school , selling books again so should be at home #
Yes I'm trying to get it done , but I am getting pressure from the year group as well , it was , and so I've got that , back out at Wednesday , so I'm gonna have to have my hair done last #
Erm , got a rehearsal haven't I ? #
I mean I've backed out of going , having , I'm supposed to be working on that on the stalls as well but I backed out of that and said I've got a hair cut , erm , so I'll have to be done last . #
Yes , er probably until about half four #
Yeah , you'll have to come home a bit er , a bit er #
She's so this'll probably be our last appointment here wouldn't it ? #
What her ? #
She wouldn't wanna drive an hour and a quarter #
She wouldn't drive an hour and a quarter , it's not worth it #
Well you can hardly ask her to drive round and er an hour and a half #
for twenty quid #
And granny have it done #
dad can have it done #
nice family outing #
Saturday #
she won't do that #
Oh right , yeah , I'd rather go up the road , stupid #
oh dear , see that tutor tomorrow morning for an hour , hey hey #
I can't do job , it's course work , don't you understand ? #
How am I suppose to copy up course work , it's my own work #
What ? #
Mum it's a tutor period , it means work #
don't sit around for an hour doing nothing #
but don't be stupid #
Because he's a tutor #
I have D R N L As to do #
Good grief . #
I've got to go and see Wally in tomorrow for the forms , I ain't got any forms to fill in cos I'm officially not leaving , I'm only moving #
change of address #
it will be change , I can't say , is it , I mean I said it's a change of address , they know I'll probably be moved in four to six weeks #
Which is it gonna be ? #
Oh yeah , that's easy muck around do what I do #
Alright we were doing company law and #
I was damn good I knew everything , first I had to watch the accounts and secondly I'm looking at all this stuff for when I start my business #
so I'm saying ah that's that and that , that , so I basically have we were looking at erm , what's it ? #
Partnerships , did you know that if I start a partnership with Phil right , mum #
I will be completely liable for erm liability #
but that's , wouldn't affect me because I'll be taking loans out so there and I can have up to twenty er partners , nineteen in fact , because there's twenty partners altogether , basically , so there is definitely benefits for being in partnership #
I'm not having twenty partners , I'm having Phil and that's it #
Erm #
Erm , but sole , we're looking at sole proprietor as well , there's some good things in that , I E they're cheap to set up , stuff like that , so they're not bad as they go , but , I suppose well I'll have to sell when I've got more money , I didn't get any replies today not a single blooming one , I'm a bit cheesed off , so erm , I think I might ring back that one of the ones that I did get a reply from and say thank you . #
Well dad said I should say something #
But er , it's all I've had for now I suppose ,oh God I've got maths tomorrow , hate maths #
I do #
Oh I hate it #
be one G C S E I'll fail #
Dog went mad when I #
Eh ? #
Dog went mad #
dumping himself and running around and banging into doors and things , stupid mutt , so er , erm give him his Bonio , he gets , he now barks at me when I sit down , till I get up and give him his Bon Bonio mum #
well he is so cheeky , and you can tell when he's hungry cos he goes back for and stand by it again , sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't #
Well he's obviously hungry if he wants say have a second Bonio so I just give it to him so what oh excuse me will look good with my full colour and commendations and credits and #
Which means we've done three times in a night and a half , Agnes ? #
Oh , she's useless ! #
Yeah , may as well . #
But today when we finished up to the middle of th here . #
But erm so as what we have to do is to basically arrange start arranging things . #
What do you reckon I should get ? #
Sort of trout trout hors d'oeuvres and stuff ? #
Or smoked salmon hors d'oeuvres . #
You know , bits of smoked salmon on cheese sticks and things . #
Cos you don't want wanna have a meal , sort of nicknacky that you can sort of nibble . #
Sausage rolls and stuff like that sort of thing . #
I don't suppose you fancy taking this tape machine home tonight do you , and recording some of your conversation with your brother or something ? #
Er , I wonder if we should take this to school tomorrow ? #
Yeah , I tell you what you could take this to school for me . #
And you could tape it , er imagine it's yours #
well , then you won't get the comments will you that I get ? #
What do you think ? #
What about German ? #
German ? #
Art ? #
Oh ! #
What about me ? #
Andrew ! #
Erm #
Are you quite finished ? #
Don't do it ! #
Turn this off . #
Erm #
Mm . #
You could of course , have a big marquee in the back garden . #
What ? #
Yes you are ! #
I asked first ! #
I'm sorry , I asked first ! #
I do ! #
Because you can tape like music , beginning music and then he can tape it , he only wants a couple of minutes beginning . #
I want the music , cos I wanna co introduce them to music , so tape it , I asked first ! #
I asked first ! #
So you tape the music , I asked first ! #
No ! #
I asked first ! #
Alistare ! #
It's my damn tape ! #
Right ! #
Okay then ! #
Yo fine , I'll just wipe the thing ! #
It won't survive , I'll wipe it ! #
Flipping scum ! #
Punch his face in ! #
I hate him ! #
So , we can have #
a marquee out in the back garden . #
Be a bit cold wouldn't it ? #
I know ! #
No , read it properly ! #
Read it #
properly ! #
Er , er er er , Mel . #
Thank you ! #
Told you ! #
You didn't believe me did you ? #
And I had a Valentines Card , ha ha ha ! #
Ho , ho , ho ! #
A tough , tough ! #
Yeah . . #
Mm ! #
No , she wrote it herself . #
Because , I do ! #
I want you ! #
Noticed the poems rhyme without detection there . #
It's because ,I have a rather large #
to give myself up ! #
A finger of fudge is just enough to give me myself a dee dee dee dee ! #
If , I'll fill my with goodness , nothing now can save her #
But don't ! #
Please , now this is a conservative household ! #
Maggie Thatcher rules good on her ! #
Down with the poor ! #
Up with the rich ! #
I agree ! #
Erm #
Ah ! #
I can , am bringing Claire a present tomorrow . #
Graham . #
I dunno . #
She wants to see who's interested in po in helicopters . #
I think it's which er sixty ki six #
Komenchi #
That's a nice helicopter ! #
What ? #
List of what ? #
Oh it's underneath there . #
Er it was there it is ! #
Read them out again , start from the beginning . #
Slowly . #
Clare and Graham . #
Start from the beginning , slowly . #
No , start from the beginning . #
No ! #
I'm not gonna well , no . #
Not Kate . #
Definitely . #
Definitely . #
Definitely . #
Definitely . #
Definitely . #
Definitely #
Definitely . #
Maybe . #
Maybe . #
Sarah wacko ? #
Oh definitely ! #
Oh #
yes ! #
Tony . #
No ! #
No ! #
No . #
No ! #
No . #
No . #
No . #
No ! #
Danny . #
No . #
Erm , Bryant maybe . #
No . #
I didn't put Paul ! #
Couldn't have been him . #
So I'm gonna show dad that list this weekend see if he says oh oh oh ! #
Yes . #
Well he will trust me not to invite rebels ! #
And you can hardly say #
that those are rebels can you ? #
Helen #
Helen's quiet , Jenny's quiet ooh I tell you what , I'm beginning to fall for Jenny actually I have to admit . #
She kept looking at me today in #
now , at lunch . #
Giving me all sad looks cos she feels sorry for me . #
My little Helen ! #
Ooh ! #
You wanna perhaps . #
So if we can , yeah , well I suppose so . #
So I've recorded half an hour of tape already up here . #
I got #
What ? #
? #
. #
I thought was a G ? #
That video was quite fun this morning wasn't it ? #
Ah . #
Yeah ! #
But imagine that ! #
I ,th there's no need to show in schools or anything like that ! #
No , it was that's #
Yeah ! #
Yeah , that's it . #
It was quite funny wasn't it ? #
It was quite funny , I have to admit . #
She was very good looking ! #
I thought she looked like Sarah . #
Well , she yo , she was er do you think I should invite Sarah ? #
No , not really . #
That's the problem . #
She , she'll get on with them . #
And I'm not having Melanie ! #
Ah , you're joking ! #
She's going out with a nineteen year old ! #
She's gonna even lived with him ! #
Sarah ! #
Yeah ! #
He's #
he's he's er , she's goes for the rich guys you see . #
No . #
She's got everything ! #
She's very intelligent , she's very rich , and she's very attractive ! #
She's damn good ! #
I wouldn't kick her out of bed on a cold night ! #
I must admit . #
But #

Yeah . #
It's not good ! #
Done really good ! #
German in three years , like that . #
Well oh yeah ! #
So , well that's what we'll have to do then . #
I'll have to have a have to have a word with good old dad and see what he suggests . #
Basically , say , ah ya ! #
Das is good Das fater That's , my father in German . #
Erm yes . #
Didn't I just say it . #
Er er God I'm #
Mine a Ah ! #
Open that cupboard . #
Cupboard . #
And the other wo , and the other . #
Mm . #
Is there a green lined shirt in there ? #
No ! #
Green lined , it's white with green #
lines . #
Yep . #
That's the one ! #
Get it out . #
The shirt . #
Just get the shirt out ! #
Ge get it out on the hanger that's it ! #
Don't knock it off ! #
Bring it over . #
Good ! #
Put it up on the door handle ! #
Put it on the door handle . #
Of course , I'm getting twenty five quid from there . #
Put it on the door handle . #
Cos I'm gonna use it tomorrow . #
Put it on the door handle ! #
Yes ! #
So just leave it on that , that's it . #
Now go into the cupboard #
and you should find a pair of trousers #
Cos I can't be bothered to get up ! #
Ah ! #
In between the #
red and the green shirts , there's a pair of trousers . #
That's it ! #
Can you get them out then ? #
That's the one ! #
Put that on the door . #
Good ! #
Er denim jacket on top of that I think . #
Don't think , denim jacket ? #
Just to Rush School . #
I'm just wearing the denim jackets as casual jackets to take off when we get there . #
We're going to perform our stupid play ! #
About the sodding Rush and I'm gonna die ! #
I know all my lines , my lines is , my name's Robert and I like playing cowboys and indians . #
I then in front of Sam and she's the headmistress and I say , I've been sent to see you by Miss Huddy , Miss Trudgenell , because I got caught #
cleani ,co cos I got caught pulling a little girl's pigtails . #
She said erm tt don't you know it's ma only my privilege to do that ? #
And I say , no Miss Trudgenell , she says er , why did you do it ? #
I said , because I wanted to , see miss and she says , right ! #
Bend over my table ! #
She gets the cane out and just as she's about to whip me , er Jane walks in . #
Yeah . #
And then er , basically , that's it ! #
That's my lines . #
Danny has to go down on the floor , put his hands on hips and go , evening all ! #
Bends his knees , cos he's a policeman ! #
Yeah . #
That's it ! #
That's right . #
And he says #
Oh God ! #
It's , he is such an awful actor ! #
Even I can't #
Exactly ! #
He is , he does ! #
He goes ,evening all ! #
Evening all , prowlers ! #
He does ! #
Evening all ! #
I'm a policeman !who's innocent ? #
He's he's just terrible ! #
He's crap ! #
What , do you reckon I should wear #
What me ? #
Oh oh ! #
No , he's no good ! #
Shall I wear that one ? #
Shall I wear that lemon one ? #
That er , one in between , next to the red one . #
Yeah . #
Or do you reckon I should wear a white casual #
Yeah . #
Yeah . #
Exactly ! #
That's what I said ! #
I thought I se , I'll be a boy , er Donna's . #

What's the matter with grey trousers ? #
Grey trousers maybe ? #
Black shoes , grey trousers and that ? #
What about black trousers ? #
Oh ! #
A cloak . #
Or do you reckon that shirt ? #
What that one ? #
Do you think that , that one maybe ? #
Do you reckon she'll prefer it in that colour ? #
There's my Global Hypercolour . #
Ooh there again , what do you reckon to these ? #
I've never worn these ? #
Get into these actually . #
Bloody hell ! #
This was half price ! #
Aargh ! #
Jesus ! #
Twenty five quid . #
Yeah . #
What do #
you reckon ? #
Those ? #
That's a possibility . #
Do you prefer them to those ones ? #
Right . #
Those are more casual actually . #
And I can wear a white shirt straight laced white . #
Oh ! #
Wow ! #
You should see it man ! #
Wo ooh , ooh , ooh ! #
You want to . #
Wow ! #
Erm , a very , very , very , very , very slinky erm black skirt and tights , and a very low top ! #
I'm talking seriously slinky ! #
A er #
We're talking seriously tasty ! #
So #
It's over there . #
It's good stuff this ! #
Thank you very much . #
You seen it ? #
That's right ! #
Yep ! #
It's good stuff for bad breath actually ! #
Just go #
See it kills all the throat hairs ! #
The throat tissue . #
I suppose we should get our German actually shouldn't we ? #
German , German . #
Yeah . #
To put our thing onto tape . #
Why ? #
Mean , how the hell you gonna do that ? #
That thing we did in class . #
Yeah . #
Ow ! #
Ow ! #
Right , so just a minute , so let's let's plug up this te te ,ta ta ta ta ta tape . #
Ivor ! #
No , use that while I'm doing the entertainment . #
So #
Oh well I wouldn't mind being entertained by her ! #
To be perfectly honest . #
Ooh ! #
Very nice indeed ! #
Yes ! #
You got a flinch or something ? #
You got a flinch or #
keep on doing that ! #
I'll in the eye , don't want this waste my expensive deodorant ! #
This stuff costs a fortune now ! #
This Lynx is expensive as well ! #
This is one ninety nine a can ! #
And it doesn't last very long , there's only about two week's worth there ! #
Cos I absolutely spray myself to death ! #
Erm booze , booze ! #
We gotta limit that . #
So you don't want food ? #
You don't want , you just want sort of crisps and nicknacky things #
and sausages and hors d'oeuvres #
Salmon and you want salmon on rolls #
on biscuits ? #
Salmon on the rolls , and #
salmon on toast and sort of stuff like that ? #
Toasted salmon . #
Basically #
What ? #
Again ? #
You haven't . #
Er #
Ha ha ha ha ! #
No . #
Yes ! #
You told me that one ! #
Yes , well that's er , er really not Andy ! #
I've got a joke for you . #
What do you call a Scouse in a five-bedroomed house ? #
What do you call a Liverpudlian in a suit ? #
Yes ! #
Oh you heard it ? #
You sod ! #
Erm why do Essex girls wear knickers ? #
Why do erm what's the difference between a Skoda and an Essex girl ? #
You can drive an Essex girl more than a hundred yards ! #
Er #
Oh well , I'm not surprised . #
You do , sort of , put them under wear and tear . #
Oh dear ! #
I sprayed my hair ! #
I hold my hair spray ! #
On her head ! #
Good possibility ! #
There is rumours decisive rumours that she's gonna wear on it her head ! #
She looked very nice today in Science ! #
I was watching that film and thinking of her . #
I have to tell you . #
Oh true ! #
Can you imagine , Stuart asked her out ! #
Can you imagine that ! #
He's walked up to her and asked her out ! #
He was a prat ! #
I spent six months too priming my time then #
it still didn't damn well work , too right ! #
Yes ! #
She's , well looking at her in P S E D and she looked so cute and adorable ! #
Helen . #
Oh , Jenny's not to bad either ! #
And Georgina's not bad either ! #
But Sarah Jane's , wow ! #
Well ! #
She's just darn right good looking ! #
Yes ! #
It's huge ! #
Her bum . #
Sarah 's . #
It's a whopping great thing ! #
just trying to lift it ! #
Yeah . #
You get it is ,her bum as well ! #
Oh dear ! #
So I've basically gotta take one of those suit holders in tomorrow to school for my costume . #
Cos I'm not gonna go in and get it ruined . #
As ,Lloyd Grossman would say it's quite novelty . #
That's right . #
No you can't say that one without a . #
Erm damn ! #
I've forgotten what I was gonna say ! #
Ah , phone ! #
Phone ! #
Phone ! #
Aha ! #
Mum's got it . #
It'll be for Alistare . #
Fifty P bet it'll be for him ! #
Fifty P bet ! #
Here we go ! #
She's come upstairs . #
Yep ! #
Fifty P bet ? #
Fifty P bet ! #
Oh Christ , it's for me ! #
Who is it ? #
Girl or boy ? #
Hello ? #
Hi ! #
What do you want ? #
Alright , I'll have to . #
I've got little Andy sitting here ! #
It's . #
Go away ! #
Yes , you were saying ? #
We haven't got any . #
No , we didn't ! #
I rang Danny and already checked so there isn't basically ! #
That's crap ! #
Is Jim there with you ? #
Or is he at home ? #
No ! #
No ! #
No , no , no ! #
No , that's crap ! #
We haven't got any . #
No ! #
None at all . #
we #
Forget about it Nick ! #
Did you hear that ? #
Did you hear what he said ? #
Oh well , basically well #
oh it's nothing of interest . #
Shut up ! #
What ? #
Do what ? #
Do what ? #
Oh well , nothing of interest . #
Erm , no yo I've , er I've asked him at the parents' evening what he expected us to do for economics , right ? #
And yo you're never gonna guess what he wants us to do for our final bit of course work ? #
We have got to go and stand outside Marks and Spencers and ask questionnaires and we've gotta do the same in Wimbourne . #
Ridiculous or what ! #
I think it's crap ! #
I think it's pathetic ! #
I think it's ridiculous ! #
We're never gonna get that done are we ? #
Are you gonna go and stand outside Marks and Spencers and get arrested ? #
For asking surveys ? #
Oh God ! #
I think it might be worthwhile actually so the school can come and bail us out ! #
Urgh ! #
God it's ridiculous ! #
I mean , you can't do that sort of thing , surely ! #
Oh well , I think it's ridiculous ! #
As you can tell , I said , Andy's been drinking I think . #
I wouldn't know . #
Er , blackcurrant yeah , blackcurrant mate , I'm afraid . #
So I I was a bit stupid letting him on that sort of thing . #
We were this , just discussing the party here that we're having and we've now got twenty five guests you see . #
Twenty five ! #
It should be a great doss up ! #
Donna , Georgina , Sarah ,er er er #
Georgina , er , Helen , Jenny , Claire , Claire , Sarah Madeline , that lot . #
It should be a great doss up ! #
So #
Pardon ? #
Yeah , and you , Phil , that lot . #
Phil's gonna basically , when we've all had as you would know with all the other girls , then erm he basically has to come and sin erm , we repent to him , basically ! #
Yes . #
Exactly ! #
That's basically what we , er what's happening . #
Right ! #
Anything else I can help you with ? #
Oh , rightio ! #
Yes . #
What ? #
When's what ? #
Oh I don't know exactly . #
As soon as I can arrange a free couple of weeks away , yep . #
Cos I gotta get booze and food and all that stuff in . #
So , Andy's gonna hire a video camera to , to film er Stuart and Phil , and that stuff . #
So it should be a good laugh like a good old er , jolly jaunt ! #
But we'll have to have a look . #
Right ! #
I will let you go then . #
And I lost the bet by the way , cos I said to da , Andy , I bet you fifty P it was for my brother , and it wasn't . #
So #
I'm going to kill you tomorrow ! #
Right ! #
Okay ? #
Oh thank you ! #
Oh don't go ! #
So , I'll basically see you tomorrow . #
Okay . #
See you ! #
Bye ! #
Oh it was ! #
It was for me ! ! #
Well there's not a great deal to talk about . #
As #
it goes . #
But you have to have , er it'll be good if you could find something for her . #
Well you #
Well not active , but you do go down to Portsmouth quite regularly don't you ? #
Can you find out for the Army for me ? #
And #
Put it forward . #
See what they can recommend . #
That is a serious option actually . #
Recruit , there's a #
erm there's two guys want to go in the Marines in mine anyway and so they're paying erm , A levels of fifteen hundred quid for one of them . #
He's getting paid fifteen hundred #
quid A levels . #
And so , if I do that for the army and then get them to do my degree as well . #
So , you get fifteen hundred for going the Ar , er , doing A levels , which isn't bad is it ? #
Have a with that . #
So , that's not too bad . #
And you have #
are you going to look around the house again tomorrow ? #
Are you going for a buy then ? #
Can we go again ? #
Yeah . #
We could pop up this Saturday . #
Oh er Sammy . #
So , when they gonna sell he his , this week ? #
Oh God ! #
They're playing around ! #
Or they would have got back wouldn't they ? #
By now . #
Have you filled in all th , did you hear telephoned back ? #
The one you were supposed #
did you call that number back ? #
Who was it ? #
Estate Agent , probably . #
Oh my God ! #
I thought it was important ! #
Shouldn't have bothered ! #
Said , I shouldn't have bothered . #
No you #
No , you got one from mum in the evening . #
Oh ! #
And I thought he came back again . #
Oh my God ! #
Oh ! #
But er , yes won't be long but er it's ridiculous ! #
It's not plugged in , there's not enough plug sockets . #
Heater . #
Oh ! #
True . #
Is it a big , oh you quite often get messages on there . #
Could be important . #
Madeline's offering #
mum advice about moving . #
She's never moved in in , what is it , thirty years ? #
It's our fifth in ten years . #
Yeah ! #
You could say that . #
She rang erm a le , did she tell so , did , mum tell you about the time she had erm some calls about two in the morning ? #
Imagine calling Maggie at six in the morning ! #
I mean , Glenys at six in the morning . #
I think they'd got another hour . #
Sh she's weird ! #
Didn't i oh that cedar table needs re layering . #
You can't read Belgian though can you ? #
Oh , didn't know you could . #
Oh it's better than buying a new one isn't it ? #
Oh , you're going through those ! #
Do you have to ti , do you tick them off against your cheque book stubs ? #
Bank ? #
Stadium ? #
Yes . #
Haven't you er , you got Alistare insured , and you haven't got me insured ? #
It is true . #
I'm not insured ! #
He is ! #
Mum says he's insured . #
Oh ! #
Brilliant ! #
So if I pop my clogs nobody get any . #
But erm oh damn ! #
Stay there . #
Why can't I get rid of this thing for you ? #
Save the accountants doing it . #
Your cheques on the statements . #
Mm ? #
Because it's dead easy ! #
So why don't I do it for you ? #
Say cos the accountants , that's sort of fifty quid you've saved . #
Well he does it doesn't he ? #
Do you do them ? #
He goes through and puts circles round everything and ticks off . #
But we , cos I'll have to do it for you so , something interesting for me to do . #
I love doing that ! #
Great fun ! #
I used to be able quite regular . #
With the P C and B . #
Oh dear ! #
My friends are already applying for their summer jobs . #
Yeah . #
James has applied to Macro . #
He'll probably get in as well , little , bloody sod ! #
But , I'll have to see , yeah I'll have to g pop along to Liphook Actually , if we do that if you re do go back , well I can pop round the village can't I ? #
Sort of if I go smartly dressed I can see if they've got anything . #
Gotta ring Phil actually ,wha is it too late now ? #
Dad ? #
Is it too late to ring Phil ? #
It's about my C , will I get my references . #
Cos it's , I've gotta get th , ask if I can if they need a , explain er #
Oh well I'll , have to ring him tomorrow , it's very important ! #
Can't forget that . #
Cos then we sort of , turn out , get a finger out and get a move on ! #
And so , it doesn't look good if I don't bring the information in so I'd better hurry up with that . #
I've also gotta put my German onto tape tomorrow . #
I haven't got a microphone , what a shame , I can't ! #
Ah dear ! #
No , I can't do that . #
So erm that's German homework I can't do . #
Dear oh dear ! #
Oh ! #
Oh , oh ! #
I'm #
Oh very funny ! #
You're being sarcastic I take it ? #
No I am aching actually , I don't know why . #
Not good enough ! #
habit . #
Erm there's no reason why I can't go out with you on Friday is there ? #
To Liphook #
If you're going up that house on Friday afternoon . #
Pop up to London we could already #
Just saying , just in case you do ! #
I can leave at the new #
new house . #
Oh I've got my biology tomorrow . #
Aargh ! #
Dum dum da ! #
Should be doing about #
Found it ? #
Found it ? #
Well it must say , la la la la #
You're not gonna stop insuring yourself are you ? #
God ! #
Increase the premiums . #
I still think it'd be good if my bike went walk about . #
Be a good way of doing it . #
Get it practically sawed up and that . #
Got plenty of friends who would be willing to saw it up . #
I do ! #
Saying it's broken . #
Why ? #
What do you mean they mature ? #
You can collect them ? #
Are they pensions ? #
What ? #
Yeah . #
Oh fabulous ! #
You mean , in other words , you won't have life insurance left . #
So money you've put into life insurance , goes ? #
Oh ! #
Oh , great ! #
So #
in other words the money from your life insurance will pay the mortgage ? #
So we've not got that much hassle then ? #
So well then , what you worrying about ? #
Good ! #
Glad to hear it ! #
What happened to the grand throw out this year ? #
Listen though if , we can't keep everything again ! #
If we go through and chuck out all the grotty stuff . #
Well , wardrobes and stuff like that . #
Cos , we can get rid of these can't we ? #
Sell these ? #
That , this and that . #
But keep th , keep the #
Don't see why not . #
What and that thing ? #
That can be chucked . #
Well we're gonna need two removal vans . #
We didn't fit in the last one . #
We only just fitted . #
And that was squeezing it . #
Hadn't you better contact Pickfords . #
Cos er they might sort of book them up ahead or something . #
Aren't they ? #
Oh yeah , true ! #
So , in other words , you can push them down a bit . #
Did you get the er bit they saved on the stamp duty to buy the kitchen ? #
Does that mean yes ? #
Oh good ! #
Mum was so embarrassed ! #
She didn't know how you got the chee , the nerve to do it ! #
Disgraceful ! #
If you don't ask , you don't get anything . #
Exactly ! #
But do you think they'll load the thing on the joints ? #
Or #
But it shouldn't be too much should it ? #
We eve , we can dig them up and fix them , really , there's real problem getting anybody in . #
So why have the three trees gotta come down ? #
What three trees are they ? #
Ah ! #
Oh that , that one #
the big one ? #
Yeah . #
Oh tha , we need that anyway . #
Oh brilliant ! #
Oh no ! #
Not that big one ? #
Oh ! #
tt . #
I bet next door are gonna get bitchy aren't they ? #
Why's it gotta come down ? #
Does it have to ? #
Yeah . #
Lovely ! #
Yes . #
Why is it smaller , it's much smaller is it ? #
Is this the biggest one in the section ? #
It must be pretty near it . #
It's got the biggest garden in the area . #
You can see that about five garden size . #
Well it's a property ! #
He said it was a big one didn't they ? #
Cos it's probably double the size of this one . #
It's gotta be well it's ri , what do you reckon , four thousand square feet ? #
It must be pretty close . #
So you don't need all this , surely ? #
What do you need Alistare's report for ? #
Oh Christ ! #
I'm gonna burn all of mine ! #
, I keep them it's such a waste ! #
So when are nan and granddad gonna come then ? #
Are they gonna come and stay with us , sort of in December #
onwards ? #
God you can tell that hadn't been open for a while ! #
Ss #
Struth ! #
This never changes . #
Mm , course . #
What's the passport for ? #
Is that an old one ? #
Oh God ! #
Who's that ? #
Peace #
police , peace like man ! #
It says . #
But this stuff needs brushing out once it's that supposed #
to be quite simple to remove . #
I'll have to try something different . #
I thought it'd be nice if you get , the teachers I get on really well with a bottle of wine or something . #
Cos there's only a few that I get on really well with . #
Probably more than that actually , and er well they are #
,no it's about four five probably . #
You almost got those doctors . #
What time is it , by the way please ? #
You got a watch on ? #
Oh God ! #
I better check my . #
Be a bit late . #
Yeah . #
Pretty fancy though . #
Must still be in there somewhere . #
It must be in there then . #
God , I'm thirsty again ! #
I've been thirsty all evening ! #
Makes you thirsty . #
Mm . #
Maybe it is a flu going around then . #
Throw ? #
What leave them bills and everything ? #
And guarantees ? #
Ooh God , they've had the house at a cheap rate anyway ! #
They can damn well pay for these stuff if it breaks down ! #
Are we taking the cooker with us or not ? #
So they get i ,we will work pay for all our appliances and stuff ? #
Will work pay for all our appliances ? #
Well a lot of , yeah ? #
And water softener as well ? #
All those big salt pebble things I have to fill up every week in the ? #
Good ! #
Does she like them ? #
Stick some raw eggs and things down there . #
Get it chopped up . #
It's a great laugh ! #
But we want one of those halogen jobs . #
What are they called ? #
Hobs . #
They are nice ! #
Not a bad price either . #
Mm . #
About five hundred . #
Not bad ! #
You can't burn stuff on them either , can you ? #
Exactly ! #
So that's a definite bonus ! #
I do , you know those frying pans that you bought , the frying pans and saucepans ? #
An , you know the metal bit that's by the handle that's a really poor safety device ! #
On the saucepans there's a metal rim sort of piece at the end of the handle #
that that touches the actual saucepan #
when you pick that up you put your thumb on it ! #
And I burnt myself so many times on that ! #
Yeah but it's #
it's #
difficult . #
Are we leaving the washing machine , by the way ? #
Well that absolutely , we've gotta get a new washing machine ! #
We have , look , this one ! #
Oh I suppose so . #
Is it ? #
Oh right . #
Well that makes a difference , solid floor . #
Oh oh ! #
Will you stand it , sort of the garage in your er best job of the afternoon ? #
Won't be too bad . #
Well this , well I think it's a Hotpoint . #
Everything you buy is a Hotpoint ! #
Well L E C are pretty good that's why we buy them ! #
So , oh ! #
The tapes nearly run out ! #
Thank God ! #
Only a bit more to go . #
I bet I will get nice and fluffed out so that it #
I will keeping talking to this stupid machine ! #
Oh God ! #
But still oh er #
They'll probably contact and they'll check every single doctor . #
Then I'll I think it's disgraceful ! #
We'll have to get the guy out from Sticks and Stones to do our fireplaces . #
Is it a real fire there , by the way ? #
There's on in the bedrooms ? #
Now , let me guess , you're having that one ? #
Oh ! #
So we we have proper logs ? #
Over there ? #
Brilliant ! #
Roasting chestnuts ! #
Cooking crumpets ! #
Marshmallows ! #
Cor , it's ages since we've done that ! #
Used to do it down there and we used to get stones that blew up and poinged everywhere ! #
Ah , I love that ! #
Yeah ! #
Brilliant ! #
So we'll have to have that cleaned as soon as we get there . #
Get a chimney sweep in . #
I suppose I could clean it really . #
Don't see why not . #
Might be a big fire . #
Is it a big fire ? #
Is it ? #
I can't remember . #
Which room is it in ? #
Oh , and that's the ballroom , I think it's called dad , the ballroom . #
It's called the ballroom ! #
Well it's big ! #
Big house ! #
It's gotta be there somewhere so just let's and find it . #
Oh God , I'm starving ! #
Oh ! #
I thank God that . #
Oh I'll take Twiglets into school tomorrow . #
Make a change . #
Get . #
Twiglets and er and the pasty . #
You have to get the done as well . #
Exactly ! #
I don't think you'll ever get tha that to be done now . #
Not with the rigging , the rigging's had it ! #
No , it's a bit difficult . #
It's a shame , it's a beautiful ship ! #
Did you buy it from ? #
How much did it cost ? #
Probably about sixty three isn't it ? #
Shame ! #
Lovely #
Cos it's the solid ones . #
Yes . #
You'd have to repaint and stuff as well . #
Find the #
on some #
on some . #
We went to Parkside Reproductions your desk the maho , mahogany one . #
No you said for the new office . #
Oh dear ! #
Let's go and watch the news . #
Ah ! #
I saw what's his name today by the way . #
. And clobbered me again ! #
Wanted to know if you'd said anything . #
Mum ? #
I mean , if I said anything to you . #
Me me me mention yo , something in the newsletter . #
Wa wondered if you were gonna do anything . #
So , I said no , I'd mentioned it to you and talked about it . #
I think he must think we're complete idiots or something ! #
I've got a temperature , by the way . #
Mum ? #
Are you going to sit there and read the paper , or do nothing ? #
Well you gonna , oh I've gotta bring a cup of tea in for you , have I now ? #
Oh right ! #
I'll get up and get the damn thing shall I ? #
Do you want me to do anything else while I'm up up and about ? #
There we go ! #
Anything else you'd like while I'm up ? #
Scratch your back , or get the paper , or the get the post in , or take the dog for a walk or then , shall I ? #
I said , I can do tea . #
Well I'm not doing tea , Alistare can do it , he's been home all day ! #
He's been home all day . #
Yes , he's been home all day I'm not doing it tonight ! #
I've got things to do . #
Yeah . #
Yeah ! #
Don't see why you can't do it . #
If I'm supposed to be doing it . #
Can you take it in tomorrow mum ? #
I better take it back tomorrow hadn't I ? #
Mum ? #
Yes . #
Four thirty . #
And you won't be home before four thirty will you ? #
If you can take it in tomorrow I'll be much obliged ! #
Why can't you just leave it on ? #
Yes , I did . #
Gonna give Mel a ring tonight ? #
Mum ? #
Mum ? #
Mum ! #
Oi ! #
Can I give Mel a ring tonight ? #
Mum ! #
Why not ? #
. #
Oh flipping heck ! #
You shut up as well dog ! #
You miserable mutt ! #
It's hardly difficult is it ? #
Is it ? #
Oi ! #
How many of them did they get out , done ? #
How many did they get them to , done ? #
Three ? #
Pathetic ! #
I got two other evenings to do at school now . #
Mum . #
Got , parents' evening on the fifth and tenth to do . #
Helping out I guess . #
I think it's wo , it's worth for the school . #
I must say it's that er #
Yes , I do know that ! #
So tired . #
Dinner's almost ready now . #
He was upstairs when I came in tonight . #
Gotta give Phil a ring tonight . #
Ain't he stupid ! #
Wo ! #
Almost fell off #
dog ! #
Ha ! #
What is he doing ? #
What's this ? #
Oh , one of those jobs ! #
Why is wasting so much time ? #
Why hasn't he put his fingers in between it ? #
I thought that was a mistake then he made . #
Why the hell doesn't he do you get locked in with three ? #
That is cruel ! #
I'd say sod the crystal and just sort of take him out . #
Bit disastrous ! #
Oh we don't want baked beans ! #
We always have baked beans . #
Go on then ! #
There's a tank in the paper beside you . #
Yes you can . #
Don't see why not . #
Oh ! #
This is Debbie , oh this is , might be quite good I think I might go and watch this actually . #
Mum ! #
Might go and watch this film . #
Not bad . #
Look , so I've gotta remember my drama stuff tomorrow . #
Mum ? #
I've gotta go and pa , to the shoes , polish the shoes , polish both pairs of shoes , in fact . #
Two pairs to do now . #
Get the thing out of the my trousers , the shirt #
and I wear my denim jacket on top . #
But if I don't pick it up , cos if I don't take it in I'll in the morning . #
Yes I know . #
Stupid keys ! #
There's a tank in the paper for sixty quid today . #
Then why didn't I go , er I might ring up and see what it's like . #
Christ ! #
I hate this advert ! #
Oh it's can't stand it ! #
He's pathetic as well ! #
I'm not up Phil's this weekend . #
He's got a course until Sunday afternoon and I'll probably Sunday afternoon , I might even do that . #
Yeah , and I've got the weekend off aft , er that got ma #
Oh well it , I must admit . #
Yeah . #
Great ! #
I can't , haven't got the information . #
He didn't even give us the instructions , he wants it in in two weeks time ! #
I've not been given any instructions ! #
He , got it tomorrow , but he won't tell us anything . #
It's ridiculous ! #
This is a stupid advert as well ! #
So we're missing lessons three , four , tomorrow . #
Mum ? #
Unfortunately , it's drama I've got . #
Oh I love that ! #
Is that the Radio Times you've read ? #
Anything interesting ? #
Dad reckons we can get a second contract done within two weeks . #
I mean , he ca reckons we can have draft copies done . #
That's what he says I can erm tell my friends . #
No he said , take two weeks . #
I don't know . #
Oh I better go and check the sausages . #
Two gammon salads . #
Sodding well running after you ! #
It's not fair ! #
Oh ! #
I'm still here ! #
Oi ! #
It's here mum ! #
Not bad is it ? #
Not a bad little machine at all ! #
It's supposed to . #
I'd imagine . #
Erm #
So we basically have to now plan the . #
Another bloody packet of Polos ! #
You are ! #
You , just a bit ! #
What do you do , sort of buy them in fifty packs at Sainsburys ? #
Why aren't you gonna get them from Macros , it's only one pound ninety for forty eight ? #
I got Macro got a Macro card . #
Mm . #
Do you want me to get no , I'll get you a packet of Polos , a box of Polos . #
Is this Macro's ? #
Have you got Macro cards ? #
Ah ! #
Cos I'll get you one . #
Oh , put it in the cupboard ! #
Lock it in ! #
Give me the key ! #
Right ! #
So basically have to plan who we're going to invite to this party . #
Oh , Donna's coming . #
Donna's definite . #
Sarah , Claire what do you reckon to her ? #
If she comes , she doesn't get on well with Donna . #
She doesn't get on well with Donna . #
Er #
Sarah ? #
She's a definite . #
She's gotta come . #
Yeah . #
Helen , definite . #
Jenny definitely . #
Claire definitely . #
. #
Erm , Lisa wanna come , Donna want Lisa to come . #
Erm #
Oh it's one of Donna's friends . #
Erm #
Tony Paul . #
No . #
No , no , not her . #
No #
she's got blonde hair . #
Erm who else ? #
Paul , you #
me , er er er Tony #
Josh Ja , Stuart ? #
That will be , that'll be very choosy . #
Pardon ? #
Je , you gotta put James #
Andy , er James ? #
Yeah . #
Cos he gets on well with other people . #
Claire ? #
Claire ? #
Er Sarah ? #
We wanna get about twenty twenty five . #
Oh , yeah ! #
Don't you ? #
No , he's alright is Andy . #
He can be . #
To be perfectly honest , he is quite an embarrassment ! #
Yeah , I agree actually . #
Yeah , can be a pain in the arse ! #
To be quite honest . #
Erm , yeah maybe not him . #
Madeleine ? #
Get on well with her . #
Erm #
Yeah . #
She's already said , how many bottles do you want me to bring ? #
So this will be the party of all parties ! #
I've basically gotta pay someone to be be the bouncer for the day or for the evening . #
I'm not having these silly old sods turning up ! #
This is gonna be a strictly invitation only . #
No ! #
Just have a load of booze . #
Load of booze ! #
Load of girls ! #
Then #
Anyway , you're a no that's the pavilion that's the pavilion so #
Sure you'll find some way to warm yourself up ! #
So , basically , what you wanna do is get Donna drunk . #
As soon as she has #
I would #
Me ! #
I'm gonna be seducing her ! #
Er Helen Jenny #
Yeah . #
Good idea ! #
Is that mum calling ? #
Just a minute , I'll just go find my clo Mum ! #
Mum , where's my bed clothes ? #
No , if we do that , that's a good idea ! #
That's basically what we have to do . #
No ? #
No James ? #
Right ! #
Okay . #
We'll keep him out then . #
Cos we've basically gotta find people that people'll be happy with or that they know . #
So I know most of them , I get reasonably well with most of them . #
I'm not inviting anybody I don't like ! #
Erm so #
James who ? #
That's no , what the hell ! #
Why , don't you like him ? #
I really like him . #
But , you want #
I but I won't then . #
Yes . #
I just thought , what the hell ! #
I don't anybody absolutely rowdy and out of it if somebody's to be perfectly honest . #
Yes you do . #
So , you definitely , Murphy definitely , Tony definitely cos Tony and Paul get on well with all of them . #
No . #
Er Donna definitely , Helen definitely , Jenny definitely #
What Jenny and Helen ? #
Mm mm mm mm , depends . #
Erm #
Oh you won't ! #
Sarah definitely ! #
Oh I dunno ! #
Willing to find out ! #
I'm willing to find out ! #
Ooh yes ! #
But er , definitely , she has to come . #
Oh yes ! #
Very tasty , yes ! #
Though , yeah , but she may think , oh well ! #
But erm so she's got to , you're gonna make a list of people #
No . #
She's quite friendly to talk to actually . #
Er , Eleanor Rebecca she's actually quite a party animal when she gets going ! #
She's quite a good laugh ! #
She gets on well everyone . #
You want people who feel confident in a group . #
You want some you want some ringleaders who get on well , so you sort of bully them into things , which Donna is ! #
Definitely ! #
She is bossy leader basically ! #
So we're just going to practise what we saw yesterday . #
Oh really ! #
She's even better from a big #
Certain definite . #
But you don't want to have people sort of splitting up into groups like you say , sort of standing around which will be a bit embarrassing . #
You want to get them in , see the drink , have a drink and basically get drinking . #
Ow ! #
What was that ? #
Look ! #
What ? #
Yes . #
Right . #

Well I don't believe you're gonna just do away with her ! #
Unless she's completely drunk , blind drunk and I haven't already given her a good seeing to ! #
So , to be perfectly honest I think er you're out of luck mate ! #
Cos , I will be first in line ! #
I will be first ! #
It's er , well #
It's highly surprising ! #
Just a minute . #
And dad thinks it should be alright , no hassle ! #
Mum's iffy , but she says with er #
No , #
Oh come on ! #
Bloody cramping our stu , they'll be a bit cramping our style wouldn't they ? #
Come on ! #
Oh well ! #
But , no definitely not . #
No ,th I'm sending them up #
Well if it , dad says two weeks now , so it could be next , not this Saturday coming , the Saturday after . #
Or it could be the Saturday #
No . #
Yeah . #
Or it could be the Saturday after that one . #
Yes , I should really . #
But #
erm #
it does become a problem . #
No ! #
She's too #
much of a trout ! #
Trout . #
Yeah . #
She's an old fish ! #
Look at that , that's all my German ! #
Mm mm , yeah . #
That's all the German cards I put down all my vocabulary . #
Not yet . #
I haven't had time . #
Haven't had time . #
So so basically , in a minute , have to sit down and write a list of who is going to come and who is not and what order . #
If you take all these off you get a fre , two free pizzas but I'm not gonna #
but I'm not gonna get to use these you see . #
It's ridiculous ! #
Because you can't er , I can't really take it out . #
See , I get three small pizzas if I took all these off . #
But I can't ! #
You see she's collecting it at four thirty . #
Oh God ! #
Friends . #
Yeah . #
I better fill in these actually . #
Er I need a thing . #
Oh Christ ! #
Is it have you got a pen on you ? #
No , no , no , oh God you're useless ! #
Er , you got one in your coat pocket ? #
Get it out then ! #
I haven't got one . #
So Sarah 's got to come ! #
Serious ! #
Serious ! #
Yes , yes ! #
Wow ! #
I just turn , I think I better tidy the room up that night . #
I think she's #
Well it's #
er , well yes , definitely ! #
You have to admit , she's better than a kick in the wot-nots ! #
Right , so er tape , what day did I do this ? #
Tape , tape two . #
Yep ! #
Lucky me ! #
It's my party cos I'm gonna stand at the door and everybody has to give me a big french kiss when they come in the door ! #
Apart from you ! #
I don't mean you and the boys ! #
I mean the girls ! #
I mean the girls ! #
So erm basically jus #
What time did I start doing this , er , tape ? #
That one ? #
Ah crumbs ! #
Er about eleven A M . #
Er , in which town , Broadstone #
This is worth twenty five quid . #
Erm #
What were you doing during the conversations ? #
Now that was #
wha , during the conversation sitting in a car #
then #
in classroom . #
See , it's not bad , it's in a classroom . #
Right ! #
Er , in the space provided please write your names and details , no there isn't any . #
Right ! #
First name crumbs ! #
Who was on that tape ? #
That was the doc , so it was me , Phil #
No . #
No . #
Then it was mum . #
No ! #
Get stuffed ! #
They're not coming ! #
Yeah , but if you don't invite them ,tha , I'll talk to you about it in a minute . #
It's ridiculous ! #
My mum sa , and then it was dad me . #
Occupation ? #
Student . #
Occupation ? #
Doctor teacher er , what's dad's ? #
Director . #
Er , me , student . #
Age ? #
Oh Christ ! #
What is my age ? #
Sixteen . #
Forty two #
forty two . #
What did I put dad down as being , age wise ? #
Forty two as , I suppose . #
He is actually . #
That is the truth . #
Forty two , sixteen . #
Sex ? #
Male , male #
female #
male , male . #
Regional accent ? #
Haven't a clue ! #
Right ! #
Friend . #
Doctor . #
Mother #
Father . #
Do you want a drink ? #
You sure ? #
Well give us a yell if you want er if you want a drink or anything . #
Erm side two , have I just this side two ? #
Yes I have . #
What's the date today ? #
Twenty seventh of the second ninety two . #
What time did we start recording this ? #
Now , this was about five P M Broadstone Oh er , what were doing during the conversation ? #
What was I doing ? #
Talking yo , talking to you . #
Yes , you're on it , moron ! #
Talking to pervert ! #
To friend . #
Erm jus right ! #
Me , Andy #
Yeah ! #
Occupation ? #
Student . #
Yep ! #
Student . #
Age ? #
What's your age ? #
Sixteen and sixteen , that's right . #
You're only two mo , two days older than me , or one day older . #
Sex ? #
Er , not sure ! #
Ba zed ! #
Relationship ? #
Friend , I think ! #
Right . #
And that's , that what one's er basically doing pretty well know we're getting the near the end of that tape . #
That's that stupid tape done ! #
Oh God ! #
What's this leaflet for ? #
Oh that's tapes fifteen to twenty , I mean ten to twenty . #
But , I haven't #
got that far . #
Three . #
Supposed to get twenty done but I'm not gonna get that many bu , cos I've been away you see and doing school . #
Right ! #
Now , we've got a list to do . #
No . #
No way ! #
Cos I'm not daring ! #
Now , basically we have to decide #
Exactly ! #
We basically #
have to decide #
Sh ! #
Sh ! #
We basically have to decide who is gonna come , and who isn't . #
Do you think we should invite Stuart ? #
I'm not sure about him . #
What do you reckon ? #
I think he will be quiet . #
I think he will be quiet cos he'll be embarrassed and all the girls will be there . #
Becau , well what do you reckon ? #
I don't think he , I think he wo I dunno . #
Daniel will stare like a gormless goit ! #
Would you go round a circulate and talk to girls ? #
Well , do you think you would ? #
Donna ? #
No , you wouldn't ! #
Helen ? #
. #
You blooming better not do ! #
She #
she's my property ! #
Yeah , you damn well will ! #
You can talk to erm #
Yeah . #
Well Georgina will be coming . #
Ow ! #
Erm so basically , well that's what we'll do . #
I do so Stuart , I don't think Stuart should . #
I don't think Danny should , will . #
Is it ? #
I reckon it is . #
Right ! #
So #
Difficult ! #
! #
And he's not coming , no way ! #
Whisht ! #
No way ! #
No way ! #
So , let's make a rough guide . #
Donna , Helen , Jenny who else ? #
Georgina , Claire , Claire , Sarah #
She's , damn right ! #
Er #
I've lost the flipping names again ! #
No need to . #
I will write it down ! #
Right ! #
Let's have a look . #
Right , erm who is it ? #
What's her name ? #
I've got Claire , no right ! #
Donna , #
Helen #
You flipping get that off your mind for start ! #
Jenny er , Georgina oh yes ! #
Georgina , er , who else is there ? #
Erm oh , don't know what's the name of her ! #
Donna , Helen , Jenny , Georgina oh ! #
Claire #

Claire , Claire #
Sarah Sarah erm which other girls were we gonna er invite ? #
Er , who else is there normally in her group ? #
Not gonna invite Abby . #
Rebecca . #
Isn't , oh she is , now . #
Yeah . #
Rebecca erm #
Yes ! #
Cos she gets on well with a lot of those . #
Jessica she gets on well with Donna #
Erm Costas we better invite cos he's a boy . #
I think it'll just you and me here ! #
I like those odds ! #
Right ! #
Yes ! #
Where ? #
Sarah #
Sarah . #
Right ! #
So you got Donna , Helen , Jenny , Georgina , Claire , Claire , Sarah , Rebecca , Jessica and Sarah . #
Cos she's a , good friends with Rebecca . #
Who else is there ? #
Tony . #
I know it . #
Yes , Yes , yes , yes , yes , yes , yes , yes , maybe , yes , definitely ! #
Right ! #
Tony #
He gets on well with that lot . #
Paul #
You and #
Andy , Sarah . #
Yeah . #
Tony , Paul , Andy #
Yeah , be a good laugh ! #
I think it might be worthwhile actually . #
It's a good idea ! #
Can't be more than fifteen quid for a night . #
Oh God ! #
I'll pay for the tape . #
It's not a bad idea at all . #
Da da da da da , da , da get Donna rat-arsed ! #
Yes ! #
That #
Now that's a word I want on the tape , rat-arsed ! #
Good word ! #
Erm #
So Paul , Andy , who else is the boys , we've only got three boys , me #
four boys , erm #
, yep ! #
Yep . #
No ! #
Not James , that's right . #
Oh , get lost ! #
No way ! #
So Ste , er , not Steve #
Well we got six boys now , and two , four , six , eight #
ten . #
Two , just a minute , four eight , ten girls , and six boys . #
Er who else is there ? #
If we can get we nee , can probably get another ten people yet . #
You want a reasonable size , so people get on well with each other . #
Who else is there ? #
What about Kate ? #
Invite her ? #
Course she does ! #
Put her down as a poss . #
Erm you pu #
oh I suppose you pu , better put Stuart down . #
And Danny down . #
And down . #
Yes I know . #
Paul #
One , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight , nine , ten , eleven , twelve , thirteen , fourteen , fifteen , sixteen , seventeen , eighteen , nineteen , twenty . #
Five more . #
Another five more . #
Yeah you wa , we wi who ar , who other girls are there ? #
Downstairs in the main two rooms , and the kitchen . #
If we have alcoholic non alcoholic , fruit juices , mulled wine #
What food can we get ? #
You've been drinking again tonight haven't you ? #
I have #
At a push . #
Er who else is there ? #
What are the girls , other , that we've always wanted to invite to a party and we haven't bothered before ? #
Got Donna . #
Got Donna . #
What about Sarah ? #
No , I bet she'd come actually . #
Yeah , she's more friendly with the rest of them int she ? #
The other bou bunch . #
What about Helen , as in the other Helen ? #
? #
Do you reckon I should her down ? #
Yeah , she gets on alright with those . #
Helen is not coming ! #
No way ! #
Er #
Oh get stuffed ! #
No ! #
I don't care ! #
She's not coming and that's final ! #
Er , who else is there ? #
Ah , I don't , I know , she's a good yes well ! #
She's #
so common ! #
You only reserved #
people ! #
I'm not having people #
wrecking the house , and that's final ! #
Erm #
Er , who else is there ? #
Erm #
Who else is there ? #
There must be some other girls . #
Who's in our science group ? #
Go through the list of science group people . #
Got her . #
Got her . #
Got her . #
Got her . #
Got her . #
Yeah . #
No . #
No . #
No . #
No . #
Oh , I know , erm . #
No ! #
No , definite . #
No , there's none there . #
Erm Claire , Kate , Rebecca , Helen Jenny , on that table #
No , I was thinking of history , what th , where they are in history . #
Erm so you've now got two , four , six , eight , ten , twelve , fourteen , sixteen , eighteen , twenty , twenty one so far . #
Four more . #
That's pushing it ! #
Dad'll let twenty five I think . #
And everybody's gotta bring a present , so that's twenty five presents I get ! #
Twenty four presents , that's not bad ! #
Yes ! #
About four foot , five foot tall , yeah . #
Erm #
Who else is there ? #
There's loads of oth , Georgina , have I got Georgina ? #
I've got Georgina . #
Erm erm , erm #
Cos she was going to the panto thingy . #
I normally invite Sarah whatsaname ,gro ,Sa Claire , er Claire #
cos she's gonna want to bring Gary with her . #
And I ain't having him round ! #
Erm I've got , what other boys are there ? #
Who else hangs in our , oh Phil , I'm not gonna invite Phil ! #
Do you reckon I should get Phil ? #
Yeah ! #
Do you reckon Phil ? #
Oh sod it ! #
Put him down . #
Er ha #
Nobody dislikes him , but nobody knows him ! #
Right ! #
Let's go through the list . #
Kate , she knows Donna doesn't she ? #
Doesn't she ? #
Kate , she knows Donna doesn't she ? #
Ah ! #
Ka #
Kate knows Helen , Kate knows Jenny , Kate knows Georgina Cla , knows Claire , Kate knows Claire too . #
Kate knows Sarah , Kate knows Rebecca , Kate knows Jessica , Kate knows Sarah , Jessica #
Kate knows Tony , Paul , you , me , , , yeah she knows everybody apart from Phil , probably . #
Two Helens ? #
Why have I got two Helens ? #
Helens who ? #
Helen #
and , right ! #
Helen . #
Erm #
Yeah ! #
None at all ! #
Great idea ! #
At least you can turn up with a sheet . #
Er , ah ah ! #
Let's just say , ah ca be ah bip bam boo ! #
Erm #
Play strip bam boo . #
Er #
What else ? #
Who else is there ? #
We need about three more . #
What , our corner ? #
Er er er er er er #
Oh not Glen ! #
No ! #
Nah , not Glen ! #
Nah ! #
Not Glen , not Simon #
Not there's only about , there's only , so what , who else comes to our parties , er normally , our little ones ? #
It's normally , you , me #
I've got , Tony I've got ,And , er #
Stuart I've got . #
Ma Carl I've got . #
Who else is #
He'll be quiet . #
In front of this lot he'll would #
he'll have no choice . #
We're gonna need loads of booze ! #
And loads of food ! #
I should say , if I , see if everybody put a pound towards it that's another twenty five quid . #
But you can't ask to put a pound really can you ? #
Really ? #
Holmans #
Just borrow , hire one from Holmans #
Er Harris #
and Nash #
down the road . #
So that's twenty si #
Oh , it's not for a while anyway so you needn't worry . #
So that's that . #
Yes . #
I hope so . #
I hope Donna acts weird in front of video cameras . #
Oh well ! #
She was very nice on the er , phone , I have to admit that's what I er she's #
On the floor , exactly ! #
Yes ! #
Exactly ! #
Erm #
So that's the people . #
She did . #
Er er er hello ! #
She said it in her nice little voice , and I said hello , is Donna there please ? #
And she said ,speaking ! #
That's right . #
Speaking ! #
Oh yeah ! #
Oh well there's #
well there's not much difference . #
Er , I think she's . #
But who el , there's always other people ! #
Who else ? #
What other girls , dream girls would you like to invite ? #
Really beautiful bombshells ! #
Cos we're talking , this is gonna be one wild party ! #
And I can't think of anybody . #
Or do you think that's enough ? #
Right ! #
Well we'll do that , unless they suggest somebody else . #
Er , what to do . #
And if every , everybody brings a friend then you're looking at fifty people , and I'm not looking at fifty people , I'm looking at this lot . #
I'm not saying #
Exactly ! #
So that's basically twenty fiv ,pe , that's enough . #
Shall we do a little list on the computer , write it up ? #
So I can sho #
So I can show Donna and see what she thinks of the list ? #
Yes , we can wri , I'll put it in a minute when this tape's finished . #
It's only got about another #
Tell you what , I'm gonna turn it off . #
Yeah , but she #
Yeah , I know . #
She's was blooming yawning ! #
Yes . #
And he's a well , I don't know . #
See I'm gonna use this as a exercise to prove what a charmer I am basically ! #
Well dad'll put afford a fair amount , and I'll have to put , afford a load of money . #
If you can afford to get one , yeah . #
I don't think it'll get used . #
Not until we're drunk anyway . #
But , I've gotta get mum and dad out the house somehow . #
I shall try and arrange with Jean to get them that der , night . #
To go up her place for a dinner party or something . #
If we can sort of get them out for a night or even if they get back at twelve . #
Yeah , what time do you reckon this party should go on till ? #
I was gonna say past eleven , Christ Andy ! #
I was gonna say twelve , what do you reckon ? #
Twelve , half twelve ? #
Cos by the time , that's about long enough isn't it ? #
You watch , eleven o'clock we'll all start to get really friendly with them #
And it's time to go home , exactly ! #
It's so damn sickening ! #
And then they'll , they'll completely return to their normal way on Monday morning . #
Oh , it's a pain in the arse ! #
So , if , if I put twenty five forward , or fifty forward and dad puts fifty forward that's a hundred , we can get a fair bit of food for a hundred quid couldn't we ? #
Well for a hundred we can get a reasonable amount . #
Well say you spent fifty quid on booze #
you're looking at probably , you wanna get two twenty four packs , at least ! #
Christ , she does ! #
She drinks like a horse ! #
I'm talking severe boozer ! #
She's been out , I've seen her off her face ! #
She's been off her face quite a lot actually . #
She likes being at parties and getting off her face ! #
So er if we do that , we'll get two twenty four pack , they've got a load . #
I tell you what I will buy the minimum amount of drink , i .e . a twenty four pack and some wine , and do the mulled wine and everybody else can bring a bottle or some food . #
Do it that way . #
Say , it's basically , bring a bottle , or bring some grub . #
Right ? #
Do it that way . #
No , but I can pop down there on Saturday . #
I'll pop down Saturday . #
Have a word is just a basic jobby . #
It's a , it's a little memento isn't it ? #
We can do copies of . #
And sound . #
You will be ! #
What a video camera ? #
Oh ! #
Nah ! #
He won't let us borrow that ! #
And he ain't ! is not gonna , I tell you that for a start ! #
No way ! #
You can just imagine at nine o'clock we've all gotta walk him home ! #
I'd die ! #
Well it depends if they want to stay the night . #
I mean , some of them , if it's twelve o'clock they'll no , they'll say sod it and sleep the night ! #
, just get #
Shall we do that ? #
Ye , shall we have a pyjama party ? #
That'll be brilliant ! #
Oh good !with nighties ! #
Cor ! #
Wow ! #
Yeah ! #
Oh ! #
Ooh ! #
Ooh I co , ooh I'm liking the idea of this more and more ! #
Yes ! #
Oh definitely ! #
Mm ! #
So #
Yeah , it'll be a great laugh ! #
So , that's what we'll have to do then . #
I'll have a word with Donna tomorrow see we , if she thinks it's a good idea #
and make sure . #
Exactly ! #
See what she thinks . #
If she thinks it's a good idea , we will then have erm a word with I'll make sure it's okay with dad and mum first basically . #
And check to make sure cos they're gonna have an argument about it , I can see it ! #
Dad will say yes and mum will say no ! #
So #
Exactly ! #
It's gotta , you've gotta have booze though . #
You cannot have an evening with no booze ! #
What ? #
Who ? #
Oh dad won't , mum will . #
Dad will have no problem , but he'll say you can get lager and stuff no problem . #
He , there won't be any spirits , they'll say no spirits . #
They'll say , right you can have lager and you can have wine . #
But mu mum will say no to everything ! #
So , basically they'll be an argument between he , him and mum . #
Er hopefully dad . #
So #
Dad . #
I hope ! #
And so , basically we'll open the main double doors downstairs so you can have people in the living room and in the sitting room . #
Nobody would dare go upstairs would they ? #
I will if Bridget will come . #
I'm wanna Donna and Sarah absolutely drunk and so erm , Helen as well . #
Why , that way . #
Taking all three upstairs and let them . #
Before it's I'm gonna save the hot water for the next three weeks ! #
Looks like we'll be having showers ! #
Should be a laugh ! #
True ! #
Yes ! #
Oh wow ! #
I mean slightly , ah no this is gonna be a great laugh ! #
Such a thing to do ! #
So , if I have a word with , like I say , with Donna and see what she thinks , if it's a good idea . #
I will basically do that . #
So , that's what I'll do . #
Great ! #
It's gonna be a great laugh ! #
I think if we get everybody by ooh , ten thirty we can have sort of a game of strip Trivial Pursuit . #
That's right ! #
And Sarah ! #
Cor ! #
Yeah ! #
Mm . #
Yes ! #
She is very tasty ! #
Wow ! #
Yes . #
Right , that's what we'll do ! #
So , I'll get the booze from Macro cos they do reasonable value like , sort of the , twenty four pack for a tenner , so the er #
Yeah . #
Tha tha that's #
Yeah . #
That big one . #
Yeah ! #
There . #
Just do Ninti , oh they do Mas , Sega Master Systems for thirty two quid . #
Yeah . #
It's #
half price . #
No , exactly . #
That is , that adds it up . #
And for . #
Yeah , it does actually , it makes it forty #
Yeah . #
Cos people still #
Bristol ? #
Oh , my dad's getting ne , new cooker and stuff from . #
Oh ! #
Oh right . #
Not bad ! #
Yeah , that's a nice one isn't it ? #
Oh ! #
Well that is just a crap jobby anyway ! #
Dirty job , I don't like I , well it's alright . #
Nothing to argue about . #
God ! #
How much further has this tape got to go ? #
How much in that in your opinion . #
How much is that your opinion to go ? #
It looks , there's about sort of quarter of a millimetre to go . #
I think it's about five minutes isn't that right ? #
Oh what the hell ! #
Keep talking and we'll go and print this stuff onto the computer , our little list of names . #
What ? #
No not really ! #
Oh ! #
No . #
It's Brian Adams . #
Only wanted to play a while , wo ! #
And he taught me to fly like a bird , wo oh oh ! #
Baby ! #
Thought I'd died and gone to heaven ! #
But tonight I never had before , yeah ah yeah ! #
Thought I'd died and gone to heaven ! #
I hope this is number one again . #
This is probably number one . #
This is brilliant ! #
Number five ? #
Oh ! #
It's a brilliant album ! #
This is a brilliant song ! #
Yeah . #
You got the album ? #
What ? #
Oh did we do a copy for him ? #
Oh that's alright then ! #
He had one . #
Oh , I'll take one box , there you are oh jolly good #
so it's tape one and tape two finished ? #
Yeah , according to this it says #
so we've finished the tape side B ,on this page please write a detailed tape side A three er er oh three A three that's it there #
specific now what's the date today ? #
Twenty seventh ? #
Of the second ninety two ,what time did you start recording this tape ? #
It was about seven o'clock in which town ? #
Broadstone , God I hate filling in these stupid forms . #
what are you doing ? #
Talking to a friend #
Mm talking to a friend #
Yeah #
Donna ? #
She's very nice on the phone very nice indeed student , age sixteen , they're sixteen , male and male , relationship #
Yes I know , leave it off it makes a hell of a racket #
So if that's that , that's not bad , so yeah , so , so side three B now , so if we can get two and a half of three tapes done , cos then I can change the batteries and I get to keep , get a free pizza which isn't a bad thing #
Oh I used to find that Stuart , and then I distinctly went off them , absolutely free pizza #
this and one other Kodak battery good God you've got to take two of them , oh sod that ooh very nice , these cost quite a bit actually , it's three packets , ooh #
Fifteen quid , no more , no less #
you #
wanna borrow it for a night don't you ? #
If you borrow the Friday night , if you put on the Friday night #

you close it #
Just close it #
Oh do close And #
Ha , well there's a window out there #
It's three storey drop , three storey actually #
Because there's another storey down the bottom floor , because if you noticed there's a huge great patio there , unfortunately , so er , so it's eight thirty seven , say you're being picked up nine thirty #
so we get another hour done , that's another hour of taping , so that's er one and a quarter tapes , sure you won't take it home ? #
Tape recorder #
three #
on this , do you want to take it to school tomorrow ? #
Do you want to take it to school tomorrow ? #
I mean I can give it to you to take it in tomorrow morning #
Cos you can sort of talk to people on the way up and record you in the car #
Well you strap it to your side of you #
Yeah fucking say #
you're turning sourpuss as well , ho , ho , ho , no I suppose not , she's coming to pick it up at four thirty , that's when I get my money which is very nice . #
Mm #
and bit #
well I want some really good words in , like erm , spontaneous #
abruptly #
brouster yes #
paddle , er I like the word paddle , you swim for it #
ooh #
Yes I think , like some bacon with your ham ? #
Erm #
you should do our Julian Carey like we did before #
do his #
Do your Grace Jones thingy #
your Roger Moore , do your Roger Moore #
oh this is hard #
Oh that's dead easy #
Oh , yawn , what do you reckon you'll get for maths ? #
A #
A #
You jammy sod #
that's fucking awful , I'm gonna get a C , er Stuart's not set to get anything is he ? #
Big nought is not set to get passes in anything , do you know that ? #
So he will go to school , unqualified , that is really sad cos he's done all the exams and everything #
Er D's and E's #
D below #
No not C D , he'd not put it to C D that's complete rubbish no way #
Dunno what about science #
say it , even if he gets C Ds , he's not be getting into college is he ? #
He's a computer genius , but he's crap at everything else , geography he's useless at , economics he's useless at I'm aiming basically for , I'd be happy with four As , five As maybe #
Well so are you #
I'd be very surprised if you don't get , if you get less than eight As #
Oh no , nor am I , you'll get an A for design #
A for art #
Have you started your final art piece ? #
What are you drawing ? #
A bowl of fruit you're drawing #
Oh yeah , do you get , do you get to do that later on #
you can do that later on #
Oh god don't , er E E C butter mountain , oh that's sick , no thank you ,oh god I'm tired , but , oh well , you'll get A for science as well #
A for German #
You're very close last time for getting an A , in fact you did get an A didn't you ? #
In marks , what you get ? #
Oh B , oh dear , oh god that's devastating , that was with no work #
I wish you wouldn't blooming try and kill the dog #
leave the poor sod alone #
Oh , this is boring what do we normally do ? #
We're normally drinking aren't we , we're out somewhere , boogying the night #
Yeah , it's gonna cost me too much this is gonna cost me a hundred quid , a hundred quid and a party is a bloody lot of money if you look at it , to be perfectly honest , we need a D J #
just to log the records on and watch them and sort of #
Yeah , that's what I do #
Have you checked it for hairs or anything ? #
what C D are you using ? #
You've only got one C D haven't you ? #
What have you got , anything ? #
anything good I mean ? #
Why ? #
What are they ? #
you've got Aha on C D ? #
When did you go and buy C Ds then ? #
When did you go and buy those ? #
You never spend your money #
and you got Aha on C D ? #
Anything else ? #
Wings of Love , oh I like that #
oh , oh , I'll borrow Wings of Love #
Oh god #
I'll borrow Wings of Love , bring it in tomorrow #
I'll borrow that #
so , I think we're #
now , call it eighty five plus tapes , got loads over the wings of love #
I'm trying to #
I'm tired I'm very tired , in fact I think I'll go to sleep , I've had enough #
I've had enough work today I've worked my nuts #
that ho have you read that how's it done ? #
It's very good , that big blue book #
that's a brilliant book #
Have you , not it's not , have you read Blop by the way as well ? #
Yeah you've had Blop #
There's some very good stuff on erm music in there , C D systems and stuff , and laser discs #
If you look in the back , in the index , look up C D systems , laser discs and stuff and records , there's stuff on records in there , oh #
Yeah I know almost as crude as you #
Yeah #
Oh er #
I don't #
I know #
so that was the phone going twice now , it's disgusting #
oh , I've gotta get er what's it name , next week , next month , I can't remember what it's called , it's got Erica Hasslehoff , I mean Erica , tut #
in it #
anything of interest in it ? #
oh , oh , oh there we go , oh yes oh , oh , er , hee , hee , hee , hee , #
Really ? #
What is ? #
Have you got a synthesizer ? #
So what is your Technic thing then ? #
So basically #
does it do anything ? #
Does it do anything ? #
Mm you basically saving up for a complete system ? #
oh the odd and soddy pieces , like a hundred and fifty #
why ? #
So , you're gonna change the money from that into buying one ano a separate #
a Technic separate #
Yeah #
Mm #
no , no way #
No way #
No way , don't want one #
Yes , I agree #
No , I like Sony , Sony are very good #
what are the #
What does that machine do ? #
And that's it ? #
So you pay five hundred quid for a sort of normal #
Oh #
can you ? #
Oh , that's twice I don't know , don't make so much difference but I'm only a , sort of uneducated slob , but there you go oh god , it's boring #
Yeah , we should go down to er the chippy #
get some chips , no I can't be sodded actu I don't like going down there , you get loads of dickheads #
What's that when it's at home ? #
Really , oh god , no , oh slap my thigh #
Why ? #
Hmm #
well it was a book that was produced a little while ago you can buy that tape deck off me if you like #
That one #
Eighty quid #
That's a forty quid profit on how much I paid for it I think I bought that for forty five quid or forty seven #
it does the job , it's not a bad little thing , mm , mm #
Exactly you've got a #
why don't you save up for the Sony compact jobs ? #
Down have you been down Parrots and Nash recently ? #
They've got a lot of money , a lot of savings on at the moment #
on a lot of systems , really now is the time for you to try and go and buy a new system , because you can knock them down immensely really good bargains the basic #
you basically can say look here you sods , give me some money off , because they're desperate for people to buy oh what time is it ? #
What time is it ? #
What time is it ?oh #
what has happened to your watch ? #
We've gotta go in in twelve minutes time to watch L A Law #
just for the music , surely for the music , can we get this thing up to L A Law ? #
Yeah #
I mean can you plug this , the speaker #
What do we do #
T V , yeah #
Yeah #
Oh that's no problem #
Well we can do it downstairs from the main system or something #
No do it downstairs #
Use the main T V #
you've got wires across #
Yeah and then #
Yeah #
Do you wanna get , shall we go and have a look and see what we can do ? #
We'll take the Walkman this downstairs with the video tape recorder , come on let's go #
Let's go #
well we can #
a little try ,dom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom , bom Shandy speak into the Walkman , you say hello go on growl at it that's it you say hello , go on that's it , good boy #
What ? #
No , I never touched your postcards , am I supposed to of done ? #
Right , I'm just going to destroy this , now Andy what do we need to do ? #
Yes #
no cos we're doing my , taping my , we're doing it onto a tape , music from L A Law , so what do we need to do ? #
We're taping the music from L A Law onto a tape #
Because I want the music from L A Law #
we're not going to , we're #
Well , it'll start probably , yes , nine o'clock , #
start , does Red Dwarf start at nine o'clock ? #
Er , ah #
Positive alright Red Dwarf let's look at the T V guide , starts what , what do we need , need to do it ? #
You're the expert , Red Dwarf starts at nine o'clock yeah , so #
Of what type ? #
Er we should have some of those #
No because that's , we've got a video going in now at nine o'clock , er , a very long pair of wires erm so what do I need here ? #
Mm , oh sod it , I'll do it next week , next week's one #
Yeah , so I'll video it next week , I'll do it that way , oh there's #
I've got a terrific headache tomorrow , have I got a temperature ? #
I have actually #
ah , just a sec we will go away for the day if my #
pull up er a bean bag up with the record #
Right , talk in the microphone while I'll go to the loo #
Oh yeah , right oh if you get that on the tape I'll kill you #
You know damn well #
Oh it's a flush #
talk in that machine #
Oh , you've got to #
Yes you have #
anyone got a Polo if one's on offer #
Why not ? #
Aargh , it won't close #
Cos it won't so are you going to offer me a Polo ? #
Why not ? #
I only had one give me a Polo you #
Nine thirty , oh I feel ill #
L A Law's on in a minute #
only watching the , the title I love the title music #
On the shoe table , I love Polos #
I love Polos mm , I'll get you a box of forty eight when I'm next down at Macro's #
They're only one pound , ninety for forty eight packets , that the equivalent of ten , you only get fifteen packets for that price , or would you like me to get you a box of er Extra Strong Mints ? #
Would you like the extra strong ? #
The white ones , the big white ones #
cos they're only er two pounds or something or other for forty eight , Wrigley Spearmint Gum about one pound fifty oh , what's happened to his voice ? #
Been there , been there #
New York #
gross , New York is a gross city er well been to , oh dad uses one of those at work #
he loves his nose , he's stripped all the information , he's a stripper #
so erm , yeah so I'll get you a #
Hope so #
yeah #
Seven o'clock , seven thirty #
Ah juicy #
yeah basically #
see it's all confidential information , dad #
he is a very clever man what ? #
We're not gonna get any #
Because we'll have er people at the door #
Rugby Club , pay them both a tenner #
That's the way to do it actually , ring the Rugby Club #
it's not Mr Branson it's Mr Branson , oh shit , shoot #
he's very good #
do what ? #
Who did ? #
Why ? #
Did you get one ? #
Oh #
Well Richard Branson's very , very , very stupid #
Who ? #
He's , he , he offers fantastic prices #
Branson #
dad flies with him regularly #
Shh it does actually happen that's a seven four seven er he's a good guy , did you see my dad on T V ? #
Yeah he was on B B C Two . #
A defence thing but er , yeah dad was on T V #
You shouldn't do this , this is unfair reporting why can't you realize to leave him alone mate . #
Get out of my filofax , I put you did last time #
I don't see why not #
Yeah #
yes tonight is bad #
I've invited Danny #
Yes of course #
So you don't want to come then ? #
Close that one #
It's , er , ah Maiden thingy #
Maiden Voyager #
I've been on that plane , I have been on that plane #
what ? #
yeah #
you see the desert is a bit , the way , the planes in the desert in America , there's over three in the , sort of billion dollars' worth of planes all brand new , that companies can't afford to buy any more and they're all mane in a sitting desert oh there we go , aha , aha , there we go #
Oh dad flies Virgin quite often , he likes Virgin #
What ? #
Ah ha ha bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom #
eventually yes #
Yes #
bom bom bom bom bom face it , I hate flying #
Aargh #
learning to be ladies , ooh oh jolly good show I like the music to this ah , bom bom bom bom bom bom bom #
Yeah , right #
Yeah #
yeah alright #
Yeah I agree , ah look at that doggy that's three four , forty , forty oh it's turning oh there we go #
who me ? #
Why ? #
Me ? #
What do you mean ? #
the Hook , there again the Hook , that's where I'm moving to , Hook aargh , well that's nice , nice and comfy now #
oh yeah , right , thirty , thirty , forty #
right you ready ? #
L A Law music coming up , hey look at this , this is weird , oh look , look , look at this weird shh , this is it , shh , do not play oh dear #
Shh yeah she's guilty , she's a woman right here we go , shh , gotta get the sound up , urgh #
it's beautiful this is what I'm gonna do in ten years time #
it's brilliant #
You have to admit that is brilliant , Steve has done some fabulous series in his time , but of course , but he's , he's pretty damn good , there's no doubt about it so er , it's not bad at all , I like it . #
yeah , we could #
for Daniel , #
No if I had a video camera do you think anyone would dare to do that ? #
don't you dare #
Like , like who ? #
Who with ? #
Gorbachov , not him the other one #
him #
a gospel singer #
ooh , that was close ,too close for comfort #
Oh good shot yes #
What you shut them for ? #
Cor , why ? #
Now think of something to do #
What would you like to do ? #
Ah , afraid there's no answer to that , er #
there's no answer to that is there ? #
Repeatedly , always quite remarkable oh well this is so boring atone , ah , you can take that down with drugs #
you boil the skin of cane toads and smoke it , it , it's the equivalent of cannabis #
No , from exactly yep what about the #
this is basically what I'm gonna be doing #
I'm gonna be a top London lawyer #
Earning a lot of money #
they are young #
Oh God #
go on get that one down , get the blue down #
she's a dirty little slag be easier #
recently #
I knew you wouldn't use it very much #
Oh , what's the matter ? #
Why ? #
do you wanna open the window and get some fresh air #
why they hurt ? #
What do you mean they're aching , are they aching or sharp pains or dull pains ? #
Are you gonna pass out or what ? #
Yeah , same here actually #
Go on see if you can get them #
You make the ball jump and I'll break your face #
Oh good shot #
oh try and get it between the #
Good shot #
No , let's watch the news , see if John Cole's on #
his glasses are awful aren't they ? #
Yeah , I think they're about four sizes too big actually #
Yes #
That's not bad good the Welsh get taxed the hardest , I hate the Welsh #
down with the Welsh , down with the Welsh , down #
oh coming were the #
What pack's that ? #
er , I've got Brian Cord , I can't stand him , I hate oh crap down #
very handy , yes I have to admit I do feel like my #
Is that ? #
Yeah I know yes #
Oh we did this in R E , do you remember ? #
Yeah #
We tried to do that in R E , do you remember ? #
and it was useless #
yeah #
it was so crap #
It was crap , oh #
the Conservatives are a better breed of men #
Well yeah , they're a better breed of men yeah , exactly #
oh yo ee , bonnie Scot , bastard #
Urgh #
How much longer is there on that tape ? #
Andy #
how much is left on that er tape ? #
In your opinion , oh look at that beautiful shot #
Why ? #
there isn't a pause button #
Oh #
Ministry of Defence #
Quite nice little machine that isn't it ? #
As they go , it's not bad at all #
So we can't have much left can we there ? #
No there's not much at all . #
The party , well what about the party ? #
What would you like to talk about , about the party ? #
My God Christ #
blooming heck , British Airways and K L M #
No way #
Seven four seven hundred , seven four seven mm #
He is , dad knows him , he's a grumpy old fart he's very #
Now Andy , he gets a nice two hundred and fifty thousand a year , he does do a lot of work for it though #
Now that is a seven four , seven four hundred #
What a four hundred ? #
Lucky sod , and that is a #
Seven four seven #
that's a seven #
five seven and that is #
Yeah , there's a jumbo in the background , two jumbos oh lovely #
Shit lovely , he's a pain in the arm good don't like him pain in the arse oh dear #
as ever #
Oh this'll go down well dad's going back to Russia , Russia did that #
Ah #
burn our land no they're not land is the pit , he won't be #
brought about stupid yeah , you jolly will as well , as Red Dwarf , see if you like it #
It's on #
Do you wanna watch it ? #
I'm not bothered #
So about the party right , what were we talking about ? #
Oh God #
seven o'clock Donna arrives , seven thirty she's drunk , eight o'clock she's up here , eight fifteen she's #
with me twice , eight seven #
eight forty five she cues you up #
or you #
er , quarter to eleven Stuart has a go yes , that sounds fun #
Yes #
Good idea #
No , it's not it won't be next Saturday , it'll be Saturday after next Saturday #
No #
Next one after that #
Yeah #
it's only two weeks Andy , but it goes quite quickly #
so #
I wish you'd stop that poor dog #
he's gonna get very objectionable #
Just turn up on their own , or get , come by car or something #
Yeah #
Bloody well won't #
I'm sure they'll succeed oh we've still got Friday tomorrow haven't we ? #
I'd like it earlier , but I'm not going to does it look a helicopter ? #
Oh it's blown off , ah yes , you beauty #
No #
aha yeah aha , beauty oh it's Casualty next , ah da , da , da , da , da da , da , da yeah , they have to call it #
is that what they started to call it ? #
yeah #
Hmm #
cor dear good evening #
yeah I'm glad to hear , oh John bloody Prescott , fat git oh sod that , yuck , puke , oh wobbles #
all wobbly oh dear #
not bad there is #
your , suddenly it must be nine thirty is the #
back on ? #
Back on ? #
Let's go and have a look at the , in case anybody over the road's after it #
What #
Until tomorrow night , why ? #
Right #
Oh that's a possibility #
yeah , try that , oh I've got a headache , I feel really sick actually I have to admit , oh dear #
Yeah #
Yeah it is , it's a terribly loud recorder ,you never close your eyes any more #
when you kiss your lips , there's no tenderness in the way , with your finger tips #
Just wonder what the hell he's playing at #
What's he playing at ? #
Oh alright #
Your jolly hard #
to show it he's not #
No #
I don't think so to be perfectly honest #
I don't know he'll be #
Exactly #
Oh he only brings a little bit , I brought loads last time , even though you didn't get a song played #
Oh shoot , oh damn #
That's it , me go and break mum's crystal thing , no , er #
din , din , that was on tonight #
What time do you get back in tonight ? #
Oh God I've been waiting , I was told to ring about seven , cos you wouldn't be in till then #

Was she there tonight ? #
I didn't think she would be #
Keep away from you #
she doesn't trust you , oh God , done it again #
Oh what from ? #
You've got a sore throat haven't you ? #
Oh I feel ill , oh dear oh dear , I'm beginning , I'm just beginning , hello who is that ? #
Who's that going out there ? #
Who's that then ? #
Who's that then maths ? #
Who is it ? #
Who is it ? #
Who is it ? #
Who is it ? #
And who is it ? #
Something , done a robbery at nine thirty two precisely , a lady did er actually walk out of next door's house #
your honour , carrying one large bag , looking very guilty and shady #
Ha , ha , ha , so #
A swag bag , swag bag er , er , er , er , er , er #
Yeah #
Yeah he will #
What , you wanna turn up looking smart #
than looking cas #
Nothing #
Smart and cas , cos you've got a small body for , haven't you ? #
You're only a two foot imp , cos er unlike me as a man being six foot #
and looking like a man #
and being like a man #
so erm #
you've commented on that every sodding time you've #
You have #
Low ? #
You think it's actually breaking ? #
No #
I know #
You are aren't you ? #
You are , we've noticed that and we're getting worried #
It is , yeah I have to admit we're a bit worried about you Andy #
you open yourself to comments from now , you've got yourself a name , er #
from #
's sodding fault #
he reckons he held it around , he's a real pain in the arse at times #
Yeah #
Yeah , he does #
Exactly , I don't , I don't know whether I'll invite #
No I don't think I will because he will sit there sort of , might , when he rang up once , right , my mum said I think there's a poofter on the phone #
God knows #
Oh , please , can we erase that joke ? #

You prat #
Please ignore that joke it was a very rude joke #
Oh God Andy , you moron #
prat #
I'll have to go and wipe that now #
I'll have to go and wipe it exactly , you prat , you are a chief moron , how do you do that ? #
to make it #
Nothing if I had my way #
A negligee #
that's quite good #
oh when you going ? #
I need my shower , tut , and my hair's gonna #
stick #
When I wake up tomorrow morning my hair will be in a mess , I'll have to wash it again , in the morning #
Because , I suppose I could do that , no #
Exactly #
Yes #
yeah , imagine what , hey do you , do you reckon I should ask her if she wants to stay at Steven #
Oh no #
Well anyway Sarah and that lot can sleep downstairs , we'll all come down during the night #
Never had anything else love it #
Could walk to the door frame , well done oh God , it will be a good laugh , it will be #
Oh maybe I'll pick you up at ten o'clock #
they might be picking you up , at ten o'clock #
Yeah come where the jocks are strapping , come where the feet are clapping me come where the hands are clapping , come where the feet are strapping , come where #
the jocks are strapping oh yeah I think I'll ask #
Yeah , I hope so , I get permission from dad #
Oh yeah you're absolutely booked up , I have to , I'm sorry I forgot you have such a taxing social life with Stuart yeah definitely , er people listening to this could get the wrong idea I think but this is , this is normal conversation #
It is normal totally normal #
Yeah , oh thank you #
This , this is totally normal conversation , I've never got this done if Wendy had turned up , I'm glad , cos we've now got , a tape and a bit done tonight #
which is brilliant din , din , din , we should give it to Phil for his dad #
Seminar #
Service #
Yeah #
Get to the beat , yeah #
Aha , here comes a car , there goes a car , vroom , Renault da , da , da , da , da , da , da , da have you said to your dad get Sky yet ? #
Yeah #
So #
True get loads of new programmes #
Rolf Harris #
Worth the extra #
worth the extra sort of four hundred pounds isn't it ? #
Out the #
Oh you , I'm tired #
Oh yes , because he got chucked off er B B C T V , some morning he used to do it with Selina Scott #
oh yes #
Where is your phones ? #
I suppose it's getting more than one tape done now #
Do they argue ? #
Sneeze and snore probably #
I do a lot of sleeptalking actually #
Yeah , I sleeptalk a lot a lot , a lot #
I just talk to myself and I talk out , in aloud and what every #
Yeah that's right #
Ha ha ha , you are a socialist scum #
You scum of the earth de , de , de , de , de , de , de , de you should only have that attitude if you come from a deprived childhood #
and you , if you have parents who #
Yeah I can guess , Stuart #
oh God Andy #
I think there's a name for you #
I think there's a name for you #
Freddy Mercury #
Yes , right , you , you sound like erm Michael Jackson you even smell like Michael Jackson #
Melt yeah #
He sort of catches fire , yeah , self combustion , I think you must of said ten o'clock did you say ten o'clock ? #
Love and kisses #

Yeah #
I'd be chatting to #
Helen and Jenny all night #
No #
To think they have to be talking to me because I'm the host of the party , so I've got to go around and talk to everybody #
Yeah #
and I basically go round the bottles filling up #
Yeah and I get , I get #
that's right , yep , oh I think that'll be very good for , aha #
No , that's not you #
who ? #
They're not actually #
Scotland Upon Thyme #
No , they are , how you doing with your geography coursework ? #
Oh , I've done #
The second question ? #
Christ you're taking your time #
I've done the first #
Oh mine are graphic enhanced as well #
Oh it's good if you can do the three D , it looks #
No , it's nice cos it's a lot for presentation as well #
Yeah #
Exactly , that's what I'm doing , I'm doing it that way , I'm doing the basics , which will get the marks and I'm doing , going back and adding extra little sods when I've finished it oh God #
No neither do I , just trying to wear holes in the carpet or something are we ? #
Oh right , two weekends' time , so I'll talk #
so I'll be sitting talking to Donna , cos Donna , Helen and Jenny be sitting in one group with Sarah , they'll be chatting away and I'll be sitting in the middle , sitting on #
Sitting on , on #
Oh drat yeah #
no #
Exactly , yeah you've got it right #
yeah that'll probably , that's , that will happen , I wouldn't be surprised #
Yeah we're gonna have about twenty five people there I think , twenty five's enough what we gonna do about sitting down what #
cos there's not enough seats #
Move the dining room table out and stuff #
Yeah , too damn right #
Er Sarah #
Yeah #
not half , I think everybody likes Sarah actually she's predicted all As do you know that ? #
Sarah #
She's very intelligent , very good #
I think it must be all Sarahs or what else or something , all Sarahs are registered as very intelligent #
because she's got all predicted As #
Because I saw her predicted grade card #
Yeah , predicted grade card I'm talking about oh where is , did you say ten o'clock ? #
Well #
Photography ? #
Was #
Oh don't , oh shut up , I mean #
why , what she gone to er photography lessons or something ? #
Ah #
What camera she using ? #
Is it hers or ? #
Oh , do you go and buy it or something or what ? #
Oh very nice #
Very nice #
Very nice , yeah we've got that on dad's , aha there's a car is your dad home tonight ? #
Ah , oh , oh there's a change ,you're lucky , he used to be home talking to Sue oh excuse me you wanna break free #
Oh shut up , don't , please #
I need to go I've gotta see her #
Very funny Andy , very funny , yeah #
yeah I , not so , yeah well I suppose so , it'll be nice though , it should be a good laugh being how people in the back garden talking and the lights in the back garden #
Probably March #
get them my key up #
getting my key up with heaters , getting my key up with heaters #
we can have it at your place if your parents go #
Squeeze them in sure we'll find somewhere for them to go , vacate , so long as I get a kiss from everybody apart from the boys and #
kiss from all the other #
oh , er , I'm ecstatic really #
No that'll be #
no it's better than alcoholic innit ? #
Oh right #
but , well I'll have to have a word with Donna tomorrow and see what she thinks , hard luck #
Yeah I might do eventually , I'm not going to bother to do it tonight , I'll pop off early #
Well go on then you get the stand #
you take the stand tomorrow , tonight #
good idea #
Don't bring any comics , I'll show Donna that one piece of #
don't put the comics , put the surname as well go and get it from my room , take the information out of the little envelope you must of said ten o'clock to your parents , cos there ain't no sign of them , is there ? #
Have you got it ? #
Did you take the information out of it ? #
There #
oh Christ , dazzle me sometimes I forget #
It is innit , turn it off again #
You've got it all #
There you go #
What ? #
Katie , yes #
You know all the people there #
Donna very attractive #
Yes #
Yeah , oh , #
Yes #
Mm #
Urgh that's a comment and a half #
Yes #
There comes so motor bikers #
Dan #
erm #
Danny #
Oh #
Danny stop us now , Danny #
Yes yes I was thinking about your fritters this morning #
Yeah , oh hold on #
What ? #
Yeah they get on alright with her #
I don't #
Put that down , I see , I show dad the list and see what he thinks #
Yeah , exactly , it's just number-wise he's worrying about #
Twenty , twenty five isn't er #
She's not , Kate is #
Yeah I did , oh I'll put Kerry on later #
because Donna is high in admir admiration in fact I #
I admire #
infatuation #
Something tasteful , because she's gonna be reading that tomorrow #
So will Helen and so will Jenny I do snazzy formal #
Mo , one who's been invited to one's #
No we will #
Yeah we'll take them off just , take them off now dearie , you won't get them ripped them , yeah too damn right , you must of said ten o'clock , Geoff #
Yeah saint Phillip , yeah , put him there #
No you take it home #
No , never #
Yeah write them down #
Yeah #
Ho ho ho , ah God can you imagine that , Christ , aha here comes a car , there goes a car we are now in a country lane , looking out on the odd passing car bom , bom , bom , bom , bom I don't know about Jessica and Rebecca actually #
Right then , cross them out #
Taken two out we're always gonna get people who are additionally at school tomorrow who you'll remember suddenly #
Oh you'll fi we'll think of somebody #
Oh get stuffed , no way , no , no way #
No , get lost #
Yes , he would do #
unless his #
unless he's now following you everywhere #
You think it's a bit worrying ? #
And he's following you #
I wouldn't be seen dead with him #
yeah go on call it a #
Oh yeah , wacko #
So #
Er you want to annoy Donna just go like that to her #
Cos she does it and whenever she talks in drama she goes like that and so I go up and goes cooee , hello Donna , who , who #
Yeah , that's right #
she stands there going who , who , exactly , got it in one , we've nearly done a second tape tonight now , did you know that ? #
Nearly a second tape #
Probably #
Yeah play it in German on a , on a loud speaker #
Yeah so everybody hears , #
Cricket #
I'll check with dad before I start telling everybody to make sure it can go ahead #
Right you got that ? #
Yeah Donna does , but nobody else does , so don't go yelling it tomorrow at school , keep quiet #
Yes , he's a mate anyway , so , he'll behave himself in front of all the girls anyway #
Yeah , but everybody else will be happy then , by then , hopefully #
If he goes after Helen he'll be out #
he is on the streets if he makes a pass on Helen #
I could , can you imagine Phillip making a pass at someone , ah embarrassing #
Yeah so he'll say #
No I don't take sweets from strangers , oh God #
a vicar #
he'll come and give everybody prayer books #
and a sort of a sing-song #
That's right , he'll go on the Gideons club , we ought to have a bible meeting #
all sixteen of us #
Yeah #
the school goes , they go hey , peace man , they all go and they #
Yeah #
they say right #
What ? #
Yeah #
Oh God , oh yes , it would be a bit of a disaster #
but it would be a good , aha here comes a car , ah #
I think this is your mum if it's trundling along at max nought point nought , aha it could be , it could be , it is , it will be , it is #
No #
No it's not , oh #
Oh that's no good well that's no damn good #
Obviously not , quite remarkable #
Of course I'm on there #
my sodding party #
Yeah it'll be nice because I'll be centre of attention cos everybody'll be wanting to talk to me #
Cos I'll be , it's my party , so you have to be nice to me , cos it's my party basically , cos I consider it #
No , don't #
No #
I don't think it'll work #
Yeah and then Helen and Jenny will be shy as hell , aha #
There we go . #