# No , come on Peter . # No you're not supposed to have that . # Come on . # Give that to mummy . # Thank you . # Thank you . # Oh and you've got a pen too ! # Oh right . # Come on . # No you be good boy . # No look . # Here you are , look . # Play with your rattle . # There , you play with your rattle . # There ! # There , don't you want that ? # You play with that . # Be a good boy . # Mummy's just getting your banana ready . # Alright , won't be a minute . # Alright poppet . # Mummy's coming . # There ! # Alright ? # Come on . # Alright ? # Give mum her paper back . # banana ? # There . # Yummy yummy yummy . # Yummy yummy yummy . # That nice ? # Is that nice ? # There , you like banana . # Yeah . # You do . # You like it . # Oh dear . # Nasty . # Mummy get your medicine . # Come on Peter . # Peter ! # Come on . # Be a good boy . # Ooh Yeah . # Come on then . # Here you are . # Peter . # Peter ! # Come on . # Peter . # I'll just switch that television off and you might pay some attention . # Come on . # Come on . # Mm yummy ! # Is that nice ? # That nice ? # Yeah . # Come on then , good boy . # Here you are , Peter . # Yes . # I know . # Yes . # Ooh . # Here you are then . # Here you are . # Mm yummy . # Mm . # What are you saying eh ? # What are you saying ? # Mm ? # Well it might have been the the gas bill because er you know what she's like with the central heating . # Yeah . # I think he used to pay all the # through the business . # Mm yeah . # Well it's his pension isn't it ? # What , from the gas board ? # Yeah . # Well I mean it's their decision wasn't it ? # They # Well I know she had to pay her poll tax didn't she ? # Down at # Barnet . # She can't clear much money . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Not very good wages are they ? # In there . # Yeah . # Oh well they'll just have to steady down won't they ? # Yeah . # Yeah . # Well you're not gonna I don't think , no # No . # No cos # Yeah but what could he do ? # I mean what's he gonna be like in a couple of years time ? # He might say oh he # Oh but that's the whole reason he stopped , because he couldn't # cope with it . # Mm . # Mm . # Yeah . # Yeah . # I remember that . # You showed it me . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah I know . # He's I mean he , he just wouldn't be able to er contribute enough . # I don't think . # He wouldn't be able to you know , okay he'd probably potter about on a restoration job but I mean that's not # Well yeah , but I mean it's not providing half the business is it ? # Yeah . # So I mean I I just couldn't # see him being able to do the work . # That's it . # Yeah . # Think they're just gonna have to cut back . # I mean your mum'd save a lot of money if she found a l job locally where she didn't have to travel . # Go on the bus . # I mean it must , well she must spend ten quid a week on bus fares . # Yeah . # But she's got all that way to walk . # It'd be a lot cheaper . # Well she could take the . # Dad doesn't use it does he ? # Can you imagine him letting her use it ? # He'd have a fit . # What ? # Yeah . # Did you phone up that garage ? # Yeah ? # Mm . # Really ? # Must be a fairly new garage cos I've never heard of them before . # I've never seen them advertised before . # You gonna pop down the shop for me then ? # Do you want dumplings ? # You've got steak and kidney . # Ugh . # oh no , I just pick out the kidneys . # Yeah . # Can't you smell it ? # Smell it . # Kidney . # No it's Friday . # Friday night paper # yeah , er for cars . # What for ? # Yeah . # What did you tell him what we're after ? # What did he say , what do you want one of them for ? # Didn't he ? # Mm . # Well Peugeot I mean you're talking a hell of a lot for spares . # Yeah . # But you know 's Peugeot # Peugeot . # The heat surge grill thing in the car had broken and you couldn't just buy a n individual switch you er had to buy the whole thing and it was # over fifty quid . # For a bit of plastic . # ? # Who gives you that then , Somervilles # Oh yeah I remember your dad saying . # He gets more discount than . # Mm . # Oh what'd she say ? # Yeah ? # Yeah . # I suppose they have to check up on # Yeah . # Seventy quid ? # Oh that'll be real crap . # Oh an old one . # Your mum's got hasn't she ? # So # She'd probably have some lessons but she can't afford it . # I said I'd sit with her . # Mm . # Mm . # Sounds ominous . # That's the only problem with buying it , well I suppose it's any , dodgy any secondhand car really isn't it ? # If it's more than a few years old . # No . # No , there's not even anything in erm appliances , anything like that . # Yeah . # No . # Didn't get any post . # No post . # Yeah . # Pardon ? # No , it's , it's not that cold . # Do you wanna cup of tea or d'y we have it when you come back ? # Right . # Okay . # So how was Ron at work ? # Was he alright ? # So how many days do you owe him for ? # You've paid him ? # What with ? # Is he going on Saturday night ? # Is Tracey going ? # Why ? # Ah ! # Oh dear . # Do you think she wants to go ? # Rob's not gonna # How old's their little boy ? # Yeah . # Yeah . # No . # Well the last time we went out together was # And that was with Ann and John wasn't it ? # Mm . # Yeah and I went to that # Let's go out for a nice meal somewhere . # Well this is it . # No . # I know . # It's nice to have somebody else to cook it . # I'm not this drink at the moment anyway . # No I'm sorry . # put the ironing away yet . # Done it all and still sits in the chair . # Oh dear . # It's getting it up the stairs isn't it ? # I think I've got to go into tomorrow . # Yeah , in the high street . # bank ? # Oh we need some bread as well . # Yeah . # Yeah well we got that lasagne I was going to do that for you today but # Yeah . # Mm . # you were gonna have that lasagne anyway . # Cos I would have done that for you today but # I didn't know what time you were coming home . # We were gonna put it in the oven and just leave it there but it would # have dried up . # So I had a couple of the beefburgers . # I had a couple of the beefburgers . # Yeah , I had some for my lunch . # alright . # You know like the ones your mum and dad had last few # Yeah those ones . # Quite nice . # Not sure what meat they used in them . # I don't know where my . # here . # Oh , Anne was telling me she said er she went out last night and mum turned round and said to her now don't you be late home cos it's cold out there . # Now you're not gonna be late home . . # Oh is Clifford bring the wood round tomorrow ? # What , in the morning or ? # Where are you , where do you want it putting ? # What the one that's up ? # Yeah . # Yeah yes , alright . # Away from the fence ? # Okay . # Ooh . # Yeah . # I should be in in the morning . # I suppose I'll stop here Saturday night . # Anne wants to see if she can have Peter over the weekend sometime . # She's gonna have a word with Kenny . # Yeah but if he's gonna come Saturday I mean we can hang on painting we ? # But if he's not gonna come I'll , we'll do it anyway . # Yeah . # Be nice if he could . # Paddy was saying that all the club members were getting ten pound . # Saturday night . # Yeah . # So he must be doing well mustn't he ? # Unless there's something funny . # Cos she's wondering if he's gonna give her any spending money . # Yeah . # She said if he gives her fiver she'll throw it back in his face and say that's not enough . # No . # Yesterday . # And I think she intends on having quite a few drinks . # You'll probably end up having to carry her home . # Well her mum sent me so # No it will say on the the actual you know the bottom bit on the other side . # What bank , what clearing bank is it ? # Yeah . # Midland Bank no charge . # As I say you'll probably be able to pay in at the Nat West cos you have got an account with them . # Oh dear , poor boy . # Well you're just have to be patient won't you ? # I mean it's not very nice # it's not very nice being pregnant actually . # Well yeah you can feel the belly but you haven't got the actual feelings . # No I'm not designed to be pregnant I'm not . # Not designed to be pregnant . # on the stairs . # The bottom of the stairs . # And your jumper , where you left them . # Ooh . # Oh # Ooh . # Sorry ? # Yeah there's a clean one . # Thank you . # Is that shirt not clean # Oh ! # Yeah right . # I'll erm I'll sling that lot over the stairs . # It's heavy you know , carrying washing . # Oh no , then you've got to go up # the stairs twice . # That's three times . # I'm not going upstairs now . # Right . # Yeah all up again . # Yes sir . # Suppose you ate all your peanuts last night ? # You're lucky , I haven't been for three days . # No . # It's when you feel it bunging up inside you . # I don't think it would make any difference . # I've tried that quite a few times , so # It was that cabbage . # I thought I'd give us a bit of cabbage last night . # Getting our roughage . thought the cauliflower would but no , not really . # Yeah well I mean boss ringing up , chasing after you . # Mm . # dunnit ? # Ooh . # Do you think I ought to put that teddy in his cot ? # Yeah ? # So , I stripped the bed yesterday . # He's totally wrecked it . # Mm . # Sorry ? # Yeah . # Well he moves around . # It's quite funny actually . # Oh go away . # Think I'll open the window . # Bit of fresh air didn't hurt anybody . # Specially with that flying around . # Mm . # Ooh # I know . # Lift your leg like a bloody dog . # Disgusting . # Yeah . # I think I'll have to abandon it with you around . # You're supposed to be normal . # Open the window when you've finished . # You listening ? # Yeah . # You might as well . # One in the wash , one on . # Yeah # Mm . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Come on , let's have a look at you then . # How are you ? # Are you better ? # Eh ? # Shall mummy wipe your face ? # Oh dear . # Nasty cough . # Nasty cough . # Oh dear . # Come on , let mummy wipe your face . # There . # Oh you want some of this do you ? # Here you are then . # Here you are , you play with that then . # No you can't have the whole roll . # No , not the whole roll . # No just that . # How boring . # Yeah . # I know . # Are you playing with that ? # Are you playing with the telephone ? # Eh ? # Are you ? # You on the telephone ? # Eh ? # Peter . # Yeah . # Are you playing with that ? # Yeah ? # You are . # What do you fancy for your breakfast ? # Bit of toast ? # Eh ? # Do you want some toast and marmite ? # Toast and marmite ? # Yeah . # Oh . # What are you saying ? # Eh ? # Are you talking to mummy ? # Are you talking to me ? # Are you ? # Are you ? # Yes . # Yes ? # What are you saying ? # What did you say ? # Say mum . # Peter Peter mum mum say mum mum mum mum # say mum say mum say mum Peter # We'll go and get your medicine shall we ?drop of medicine ? # That's your foot . # Yeah it's your foot . # Mummy go and get your medicine . # There you are . # Yeah , your medicine . # You like this don't you ? # Mm . # Yeah . # Mm . # There you go . # Good boy . # Oh dear . # Bless you . # Bless you . # Oh dear . # No no no no no no no . # Yeah . # There you go . # Lovely . # Shall we wipe your nose ? # You don't like that . # No . # all over your face , everywhere . # Whoo ! # Yeah . # Mm . # Come on then . # What's that ? # Is that a rabbit ? # It's a snail isn't it ? # A snail . # You've got the wrong one . # ? You can't be doing that , no . # Here you are then . # Peter . # Mm . # Lovely . # No , you're not gonna have it . # You're not quite big enough yet . # No , cos you'll just throw it everywhere . # And I'd rather you eat it than make a mess of it eh ? # You can have the bowl when it's empty . # Yeah ? oi . # You can have the bowl when it's empty . # Which I doubt very much . # Here you are then . # Snail . # Peter . # Good boy . # Snail . # Yeah . # Snail that goes oh so slow . # Peter ! # Good boy . # Ooh ! # Oh you're quite enjoying this this morning aren't you ? # Decided against the toast . # bit of Weetabix . # Here you are then . # Here you are . # Mm . # Mummy hasn't had her breakfast yet . # Yeah . # There , is that good ? # That good ? # Ooh let's wipe your nose again . # Ugh ! # Alright . # I'm only wiping your nose . # You noisy monkey . # Yeah . # Right . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Come on . # Your mummy's got a cough too . # We're a right pair aren't we ? # Yes , we are . # We are . # Yes . # Ooh . # Mm . # Yes . # Mm . # Yes come on Peter . # Peter . # Been a good boy , you've nearly eaten it all . # Here you are . # Come on . # One more spoonful . # Come on . # Peter . # Peter ! # Good boy . # Mm . # Open wide , there . # Yeah . # Here you are then . # Yes , very good . # We're gonna have to wash your face . # I think we will . # I think it's filthy . # What were you doing last night in bed , eh ? # Peter . # Come on . # Good boy . # There . # Nearly finished . # Nearly finished . # Oh dear . # Oh dear . # Oh dear . # There . # Come on . # Come on . # Alright , we'll leave that then shall we ? # Shall we leave that ? # Or do you want some more ? # Try again . # No you don't want it . # Alright then . # Mummy go and get your milk then . # Alright ? # Mummy get your milk . # He liked that . # There you are . # You gonna hold it ? # Are you gonna hold it ? # I doubt it . # No . # You like mummy to hold it don't you ? # Oh you old boozer . # Ah . # Let's wipe your face . # Come on . # Good boy . # There you are . # Do you want some more ? # I think you'd rather be playing with everything wouldn't you ? # Yeah . # Alright then ? # Where are you going ? # Eh ? # Are you after that snail again ? # Are you ? # Are you after the snail ? # Oh you're comical . # Did you slip , right ? # You want to get up again ? # Well you have to get yourself up . # Can you get yourself up ? # Oh pardon ! # Where you going ? # Hey where you going ? # Hey where you going ? # You don't know . # You're making a mess on mummy's nice clean floor . # Yes . # You don't care though do you ? # Hey ? # Hey ? # You don't care ? # Come on then , you hold mummy's hand . # Eh ? # Now where are you going ? # Come on then . # Come on . # Ooh way up ! # Whoo ! # Come on , you have to go forward . # Go forward . # Whoo ! # Oh dear !hold your hands up . # Come on . # One two three four . # One two three four . # You wanna go backwards now don't you ? # What are you doing ? # Oh dear ! # You're funny . # Are you funny ? # I think you are , aren't you ? # Eh ? # Now what are you gonna do ? # Eh ? # Now what are you gonna do ? # Yeah . # So you managed to get everything done ? # Mm . # yeah . # Dunno , yeah . # Where , where is it ? # in there ? # Thank you . # Ooh I don't know . # I'd like some money . # Don't slap your leg . # All the dust came out . # You've got some clean jeans . # No don't cos it's him ! # I bet you did . # Still your painting # Yeah . # Mm . # Mm . # Yeah , did you wear a mask ? # Yeah . # It might be , yeah . # You never know . # Yeah . # So what else did they have to say ? # Did they ask how Peter was or not ? # Mm ? # He's getting all excited . # Let me go and make you a cup of tea . # Sorry ? # Amuse your son . # Oh yeah . # Actually it was porridge . # No , he don't care . # His left eye ? # Mm . # Yeah . # But like said when she tested him , she said it's erm # He uses it . # If it's er a proper squint are you listening ? # If it's a proper squint they don't use it . # They don't seem to use it . # Yeah , he likes # He'll soon be howling . # Let me get to him . # I don't . # You'll give me a heart attack . # What's your daddy doing to you ? # No , don't do it . # He was chewing his toes this morning . # He was , he was chewing his toes . # Yeah . # Yeah cos he was going blah blah . # He was screwing his face up but he was still doing it . # Battle of wits this is . # I think you're gonna lose . # Well if you take them off and then they won't be out will they ? # There , that fooled you . # He's trying to grab you . # Just be thankful you haven't got longer hair , I'm telling you . # No we've had a bill from the council . # That bill . # Yeah . # It's twenty one pounds . # It doesn't say when it's supposed to be paid by so I think we might forget it for now . # Don't you ? # No there wasn't . # No I know . # I think , well we'll hang on to it and then they can send us a reminder can't they ? # It doesn't say anything on there . # No . # No . # They are really . # What can you do ? # Your brother's brought the wood . # Yeah . # A fiver . # Oh it's quite a bit . # I haven't you know cos it wasn't very nice when he brought it . # He was gonna stack it over this side . # But I said no , cos we don't it yet . # I said we want it behind the shed . # But whether they've actually put it behind the shed or what I don't know . # Well that's where you told me to tell him to put it , behind the shed . # At the back ? # No yeah you said the back . # I dunno . # Away from the fence ! # Yeah I'm sure it's alright . # You shouldn't take him out there . # Alright . # Is that alright , where it is ? # Sorry ? # It's pretty good wood though I think . # I think your brother wa he was slightly worried about the amount he could take in his car . # Thought he said something about the suspension . # Mm oh . # Probably . # I didn't look . # You know I just sort of # At that particular point he was whingeing away so # I don't know . # I'll go and check . # That Dave's a funny old chap isn't he ? # Didn't say much . # No . # Mm , I think we're warm enough now . # Just burnt me finger . # Do you wanna put him in his walker ? # Please . # No it's not all # Yeah it's not all done . # This is your daddy's . # Mummy's gonna do yours next . # Expectant look on his face . # I think you'd be # minus your lunch if er somebody had his way . # I won't switch the oven off just in case . # Try a bit from the middle first can you ? # Is that alright ? # I'll switch the oven off then . # Oh do you want any bread or is that alright ? # How many slices ? # Oh . # Oh . # You can have the crust . # Oh . # Alright . # Best bit of the bread . # Oh it's massive . # Do you pick these loaves or do they feel sorry for you when they give them to you ? # Oh I see that . # I'm surprised I'm allowed to touch the loaf . # I am . # It's fresh anyway . # It's really fresh isn't it ? # Is that alright ? # Examining it ! # Is it alright ? # Oh I can't cut bread . # You know me dear . # What do you mean ? # When ? # Well it used to last a day if that , and I never used to cut any of it . # He used to eat it all . # Yeah I know . # It was only at weekends . # Yeah he used to have a whole loaf on a Saturday . # Oh my # Yeah a whole loaf he used to eat , himself . # No . # No . # Come on . # This way round . # Good boy . # Mummy get your lunch . # You've got stew and dumpling . # No , not you . # I don't know what you've got for your dinner . # That's a point , I haven't done any I haven't got anything out . # That's a point . # Sausages ? # Mm . # Yeah . # If you want eggs you'll have to go and get some from Ann . # Yeah . # Oh alright . # Alright , come on then bustle , let's get # What ? # You can cook them from frozen . # Alright . # Okay . # Okay dear . # Whatever you say . # Oh a bit of kidney . # Ugh . # So are you coming straight home tonight ? # I didn't know whether you might stop off at the pub or something . # I didn't # didn't know whether you might stop off at the pub . # Come on you . # Oh . # Yeah , true . # Some people have got their washing out you know . # Some people have got their washing out . # That's it . # It goes like this and then it'll cloud over and rain . # I thought about it then I thought no , it's not worth it . # Yeah . # Mm . # Hello poppet . # You laughing at ? # Yeah , yeah . # That's a bill . # Pardon . # Did that taste alright , that lasagne ? # Oh shut up . # If we had a microwave it wouldn't be , would it ? # Oh god . # We'd probably blow round the edges when I put in the freezer . # Yeah . # Somebody there I think might like a bit of that . # You like lasagne don't you boy ? # Yeah . # Yeah , he's had a really good sleep actually . # He went to sleep about half eleven . # Mm . # He nearly managed to sit himself up Melvin . # He sort of pulled backwards and hit that chair , got off that chair . # And he was sort of he managed to get his legs round but he just couldn't quite get his body up to sit up . # He's not a dog . # So I don't think it'll be long before his crawling forwards . # Bless his little cotton socks . # Yeah that's you . # slap your legs didn't you . # Ooh . # Mm left the window open . # Dunno what I fancy for my lunch . # Didn't have my breakfast till about ten o'clock . # I didn't . # What ? # Oh you didn't see it did you ? # Oh erm Marie's had er a letter from her supposed parents . # And there at her house now . # With them . # Mm . # Because they'd already warned , they've already warned her about you know sort of con people and you know # people just sort of out to get a quick buck . # So Alright baby , do you wanna drop of milk ? # Eh ? # No you have to wait for your lunch . # Ooh ! # Mummy's just got a broken neck . # He's ever so thirsty . # I think it might be the medicine he's on . # But I practically filled that this morning . # Come on then . # So is Robin at work today or not ? # Is Robin at work today or not ? # Alright . # Yeah . # Well I dunno . # Mm ? # Mm . # red nose . # No you're not drinking mummy's tea . # You don't like my tea , it's got no sugar in it . # Come to think of it , has daddy's got any sugar in it ? # I don't know . # You'll have to try it . # Having a bit of trouble ? # He looked like a cow chewing a piece of grass . # There . # Here you are , give us your plate love . # Erm beefburger , sausage # Well if you have bacon now you won't be able to have it at the weekend . # Mushrooms . # We've got some mushrooms . # Did you want mushrooms with it ? # Good . # And beefburger . # I mean do you want beans ? # Do you want eggs with it ? # God . # I don't know whether my brain can cope with all this . # Aha . # Oh yeah we've got a good few mushrooms there . # Ah . # Oh dear . # Such is life . # I feel so tired yet I've done nothing . # I went over the shop this afternoon . # That was an effort . # Sorry ? # Yeah well I wasn't gonna leave him here was I ? # No , I wouldn't do that . # No I wouldn't do that . # I wouldn't . # No I'd never be able to forgive myself if anything happened would I ? # Eh ? # Oh is it . # Mm . # So was the record in the charts ? # Oh no ! # Postman Pat . # Oh dear . # Oh I dunno . # ? Oh I don't think there is any . # What have you been doing Melvin ? # Well , you just won't have to talk to me then will you ? # Eh ? # I think we're gonna have to put these vegetables up on a up higher . # Yeah . # Cos I'm having a job bending down . # That's a good idea . # Then they'll all shake off when it spins . # We'll have potatoes the kitchen . # Different . # Do you mind if I sit down and drink my tea ?start tea . # Well I didn't know whether you were starving starving starving . # I'm always bloody starving . # Why don't you like them ? # I do . # awkward sometimes . # Oh god . # So # Yeah . # No I mean he didn't want his erm milk at tea time . # Did he ? # He nearly got me this afternoon . # You have to watch him . # Get anywhere else ? # His own nappy . # He's quite funny . # Did he flick it ? # Cos he normally flicks it . # Oh no , he's quite funny . # But you can usually tell when he's going to . # Cos it sort of slightly # slightly swells . # Was he ? # You can just see at the end you know at the end , it fills like a , a little little splodge of wee . # Oh look ! # That's brilliant . # No . # Oh god , how many's he got ? # Oh no , he's gotta be joking ! # I didn't realize you could still , you could buy them . # Mm . # Love it . # Oh you've got cats now . # Yeah . # they ? # Pin . # Mm I don't know where the pins are . # Trying to think . # Well I can give you a nappy pin . # A nappy pin be alright ? # The other thing he likes , he loves that kitchen roll . # He shreds it . # Have you seen him when he does it ? # So intense . # Yeah it's just conking out . # Oh dear . # Why ? # I sit over there . # Yeah . # No I feel tired anyway . # Yeah . # Oh dear . # I ought to get some vegetables today I suppose . # Yeah I know . # Attached permanently by a nappy pin . # Yeah . # Mm . # Is your dad coming up ? # Oh . # So your mum's got her wish then ? # Yeah . # Hooray . # That's unusual . # asking , she said oh what about erm grandma ? # Does she take an interest in what we're doing like the decorating and stuff ? # No . # Nothing . # She , she hasn't even offered any help ? # I said no . # I said too interested in their own . # The only thing she offers is sort of help with Peter but that's because she wants Peter . # Not because she wants to help us . # Twenty eight isn't it ? # Yeah . # I don't know . # It depends on Diane you see . # And Louise . # Well can you imagine what's gonna happen ? # Don't really want him to go . # Yeah . # Well no even his mum , you know they can't cope with two . # brother will let Jade go . # He probably won't let Jade go cos of the dog . # Mum can have the baby and Ann can have Peter . # That means they'll have to communicate . # Well Sharne'll have them . # It'd be easier if Sharne did . # Wouldn't it ? # No Ann would have him the whole time . # Your mum wouldn't . # Mm . # I hate you and your travelling plans because they all get # You are . # Three o'clock in the bloody morning . # You can drive . # I know . # Oh well when you're planning to go there won't be that much road traffic . # So , yeah . # Get out . # Open the window . # Mm . # Cornwall . # Yeah I've noticed . # I can't remember . # I've , I've been to Cornwall but I was so small . # Oh I remember , yeah , when you went . # Mm . # That's why you slept in a field ? # Mm . # Oh god . # Junior's awake . # Ooh . # Mm , won't be long . # How many weeks am I now ? # Mm , must be . # Twenty four weeks . # Yeah . # Soon be viable . # Twenty six weeks aren't I ? # No it's twenty six , twenty eight is six months . # Yeah but it's viable . # The foetus is viable at twenty six weeks . # No , they wouldn't do it . # Unless there's some medical reason , serious medical reason , they wouldn't do it . # Wouldn't have it done at this stage anyway . # No it would be awful . # Be so traumatic for them cos you can actually feel the baby moving # from inside you . # There's obviously reasons why . # Mm gosh , we're early this morning . # Oh yeah . # Have you left a lighter behind ? # Oh you're not # What keys ? # Oh your car keys . # I suppose they're in my coat pocket . # Or your coat pockets dear . # medicine . # Oh you # The tape was on my # got any # medicine or not . # Pardon ? # Playing with your feet ? # Are you ? # What shall we have for your breakfast today ? # Yeah what do you fancy ? # You'll make a mess whatever you have won't you ? # Here you are , have a drink . # Here you are . # Have a drink . # Oh come here . # Snotty nose . # Alright ? # Better get you something to play with then . # Then we'll see what we can rustle up for breakfast . # Right ? # Ooh look at this ? # Yeah . # Something for you to make a lot of noise with . # Your favourite . # Erm Where you going ? # Hey ? # Toast and marmite be alright for you ? # Eh ? # Oh you're coming back now are you ? # Oh go on then . # Alright ? # Mummy's got it all under control . # Yeah , toast and marmite . # You're supposed to eat them . # You're not supposed to play with them . # That's it . # Bit hard that bit ? # Try that one . # Pardon . # Try that bit . # Or don't you want to ? # Here you are , there's a piece there . # Let mummy give it to you . # That's noisy . # Ah . # Mm . # No mummy doesn't want it . # No . # You can have yours . # That's it , you can do it . # Go on then . # Eat up . # Eat up . # What's that ? # A car with a noisy exhaust pipe . # Yeah , car . # Eat that piece . # No that piece is better . # That's the crust babby so that's a bit hard . # Mm , bit hard . # Yeah ? # Come on look , have a piece of this then . # Ta . # Ta . # Peter . # Ta . # Here you are then . # Mm you've got fluff and everything on that one . # Oh lovely . # No , where are you going ? # No , come on . # Sit back . # No you're not moving anywhere . # Mm ta . # Ta . # Ta . # Good boy . # Thank you . # Thank you . # Mm . # Oh ! # Breaking the bread now , alright . # Here you are . # Oh you've put the plate upside down , alright . # Wheey up ! # Oh dear . # What a mess . # All the crumbs , oh dear . # a bath after all this . # Let's look what the postman's brought us . # Shall we ? # Was it alright ? # I didn't know whether it would be but I thought , well you could go down and change it . # I thought she might you know ? # She needs # I was dying to open it to see what noise it made but # No I didn't try . # No Did nanny and granddad come up and see her ? # Yeah . # You'd never think they had children of their own . # They have fish and chips Friday nights for christ sake . # Fish and chips they have . # So she ain't gotta . # Fish and chips they have . # No ,jeans didn't come . # I ordered them again but they didn't come . # Yeah . # Oh I know , yeah . # Yeah . # She'd be better off going somewhere like the Early Learning Centre and getting a damn good toy . # it's your nanny and granddad , yeah . # Is it next weekend they're going down ? # I mean it's not is it ? # Yeah . # Has he said anything to them or not ? # You're kidding ! # Yeah well glad she liked it . # Alright then love Ta ta . # That was Auntie Diane . # Yeah . # Was it ? # Might improve the performance a bit # Yeah right . # So what can we buy you with that money ? # Eh ? # You need some vests don't you ? # Eh ? # Yeah . # He hasn't got any socks on remember . # Oh yeah . # Oh that's the life insurance . # For me and you . # So we've got to read it and sign it and we have to say that we understand it and we've received it basically . # So # Oh he does sometimes . # When he wants to . # He suddenly goes for it , you know ? # Sort of stands up really straight and rigid . # Guess who was er trying to escape from his cot this morning ? # Well you know he'd , he'd obviously gone backwards . # And he was making a tunnel . # When I got in it looked like a tortoise . # His head sticking out from underneath the blankets . # At least with him going backwards he can't can't # Yeah . # He won't er stay out of his covers . # He'll erm aren't they ? # Think he'll probably have some more teeth through . # You listening ? # Well # Sorry ? # So er that paint didn't cover the skirting board very well . # Crap . # Absolute crap . # You might just as well # you might just as well have undercoated and put ordinary gloss on it . # I launched myself . # back of my head . # Didn't hurt # No ! # He's lightning mate , I tell you . # Nothing's safe with him , he's so quick . # There . # Is that inflation linked ? # So you'll be worth quite a bit dead ? # In a few years time . # Come on mummy go and get your lunch now . # No . # Yeah . # Oh . # Alright poppet . # No daddy , he won't know that . # Ha ha ha ha . # Yeah . # I knew that . # Yeah . # No . # It should really . # Erm # I know . # Erm , what was I gonna say ? # Oh yes , what do you fancy for your lunch ? # What do you fancy for your lunch ? # Bread and butter ? # Drop of bread and dripping . # Oy oi oi . # Oh you mum and dad er popped round last night to see Louise . # Guess what time they went round . # Quarter past eight . # She was in bed . # She normally goes to bed about half past seven . # They said that's the earliest they could get up there . # I said that's a load of rubbish I said cos they have fish and chips on a Friday night . # So she didn't have to cook . # It was her birthday . # Yeah . # And they could have got the fish and chips on the way back couldn't they ? # Peter ! # Hello . # Hello . # Yeah . # They're underneath that bag . # He sticks his tongue a lot when he's sort of gets excited or he's doing something . # Looks quite funny . # There's that point to point racing on today . # Yeah . # Point to point today . # Yeah . # Horseracing . # It's at er # Horseracing . # Amateur . # Well no , it's not but it's they don't get paid a great deal . # Yeah . # Mm . # Fireguard . # We're gonna need one with him . # No . # Mm . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah . # He might have some top ones before long . # No . # Mm . # I haven't really looked for it . # oi ! # Mm ? # Yeah . # Who's it for ? # Private job or # ? # Adrian ? # Lee ? # Oh Lee !forgot about him . # He wouldn't know me . # Adrian and Steven those two may do but Lee was just that little bit younger . # yeah . # I'll get you lunch now . # Oh you had chips then you came home and you had bloody # as well . # Spilt them all over the floor # oh it wasn't you it was Chris # You don't do it , yeah , stupid father , he didn't know what he was doing , didn't , then you sat there and fell asleep # Yes # you did # yeah , I was watching that erm It's Your Pry Affair on # then I watched a film on # No , Inner Space it's called and it's like a , a # can you remember ? # it's a space , putting his # against this bloke # thing # well this one that was on last night it was like a # of that # so I mean # that was on early , so I watched that and then I watched Educating Rita , yeah # mm , come on then # no , makes them think they might come up do you want some porridge , mummy do you some porridge ? # Yuck wallpaper paint , yeah alright then # Does it ? # Be lovely I know dear # yeah # good # yeah , lovely , your room , yes , you've been thoroughly spoilt # sorry # well what's he saying with you ? # No , poor little thing # You were you were well gone , is that dirty ? # Er , tut , erm , I'll a , I'll do the ironing today , I might as well get it all out the way # Yeah # yeah , yeah , mummy's going to do your porridge # Well there is some there to do , yeah # well there's only not a great deal , I mean there's a load in there already done , I think , is it done ? # No it's not that it's the colour # yeah that's done # and there's that on the floor , there's a couple of loads there # Yeah there's the blacks under there # and there's black upstairs , that have to be put in # Yeah so I , I'll get his breakfast first # I'll have our breakfast and promptly threw it all up # No # No , you didn't put any money anywhere , cos I was sitting over there # What you gave them to the barmaid ? # How much was a pint , oh cos it was a pub wasn't it ? # It wasn't a club # Oh what you had bottle ? # Er , it's not worth drinking # yeah , it's not worth drinking # Better ? # No # mm so there's quite a lot of people there then was there ? # Oh that's good did they charged to go or not ? # Oh so it was like a free party type # yeah # Yes , it's good then ? # Yeah # was Megan there ? # Oh cos he came home yesterday , did he ? # Yeah # mm # oh no # Yeah # Did you send my regards to him ? # Mm # what he say oh my god Melvin # Hark at your daddy # Oh # well no , I mean I can conceive it quite well # they just look at me and say oh you know she hasn't lost any weight from the last one # well erm , I'll see if this one's a boy , probably in a couple of years we might try for a girl , I don't know # wait # sorry # yeah # that'll be nice , nice to fit in some clothes # Oh well # What thing ? # oh I think I've put too much milk in this # Yeah # was Tracy ? # Clive ? # Clive # Oh has he ? # What's been the matter ? # Oh god # We'll put that in the fridge and see what that turns out like # oh # what ? # no , he was never a fat boy # well I can remember him skinny from school , I can , what was you saying you don't know what'll last ? # Ah ? # He said you were gonna give him something but you didn't know how long , long it'll last when I was in the kitchen you said I'll put this on but I don't know how long it'll last no # Don't you want a drop more ? # Come on , cold isn't it , that's what's wrong # is it cold ? # You looking at mummy's t-shirt oh god , you # oh dear , shall mummy give you your medicine , now he , he can do it # Yes # oh he , he likes to mess about a little bit first yeah , well # it's no good you like this don't you ? # mummy give you a drop of it I think , # yeah , can your mother have some ? # Come on then go on eat this , do you want more there ? # where's # mm , he licks are you licking your lips ? # Oh yeah Juliet there I suppose # prancing around # did she ? # Where she live then ? # still lives with her parents don't she ? # It's a funny strange couple # Yeah # yeah # oh # yeah , sorry # Ha # he tries to do it with one finger but he's just not quite strong enough # Oh , oh , oh , you made him jump # You left the mat then # Oh dear # What ? # er , er , alright mummy's going to see if your porridge is , cooled down a bit , oh you just do it , put you out to grass I think # no thank you # you stink ooh porridge # it's too hot too hot mate # Mm # here are , sorry darling , oops sorry couldn't poison you could we ? # Ah # This is really quite sweet this # mm do you like porridge ? # No you left him a note didn't you ? # No , I don't know what it , he didn't bang on the doors , I was hoovering at the time Is that nice ? # Mm , is it ? # Yes # Mm , oh he'll have a pint a day # Peter now where you going ? # Can you eat your breakfast first before you go on your little walk about here I am , poppet oop # mm # mm , mm just wondering what to have next come on sit back # He wants the dish # Oop , come on sit back , please sit back oh you think you're very clever aren't you ? # Where you going , ah ? # Keep there , go on sit back , sit back , good boy , ah , yeah , look , come on , come on sit back , well you're finished with your breakfast then , here you are , here you are # here you are , Peter , I know you like doing your acrobatic , come on he knows to sit down to eat this breakfast , I can have an # contortionist here are , quite like this , here it is this disgusting baby food you get , ugh # Yeah , we do , the gardens do , come on , please poppet come on # No # Oh yeah she wants it this month don't she ? # Er ? # Yeah , Peter , Peter , oh dear mummy feels pretty rough this morning # Mm Peter oh this child come on likes this don't you ? # Mm come on then , oh you're going that way now are you ? # Here you are , wonder if your aunty will come round today # I wonder if Aunty Ann will come round today er if not , suppose we could go round and see her if she's about , getting withdrawal symptoms , won't she ? # Come on , er Peter come on mummy's dropping porridge everywhere , have you had enough now ? # Ah ? # Come on I've got to wipe your face , oops # have you had enough , you've eat quite a lot haven't you ? # You want some more , shall we try you with a little bit more ? # Sit # oh whoopy , here you are , Peter , good boy # Aren't there Grand Prix on ? # mummy will most surprised if you eat all this come on then , have you had enough ? # I think you might have here you are , oh yeah , blimey , what you trying to do ? # Are you ? # What you trying to do ? # Mummy's leg , yes is that better daddy ? # Is that better ? # Mm , how does your head feel now ? # Good eighteen minutes past ten and you're still eating your breakfast # It's alright you've got plenty to do # You've got plenty to do # You wanna watch Love Two , why ? # Oh there's that new Carla Lane thing on , it's Screaming , sounds pretty good # Er B B C one I think # Yeah # Listen here darling there's a man in # Why ? # that's alright I don't really like Maigret anyway # it's a bit too er good for words you know what I mean ? # Mm , you're attacking mummy now are you ? # What time's that on ? # Oh dear # mummy will be well in bed by then where you going ? # Well look at this daddy he's eaten a whole bowlful of it # yeah # Whoops # someone must have been hungry , or you must like it # normally have a job to get one Weetabix down him , come on then one more spoonful # What do you mean ? # oh alright , what about me if I want a film ? # What about me if I want a film ? # there's some good films coming out # There's some good films coming out # I think My # My Left Foot is on # No , I think that's on in the week , My Left Foot # it's erm # I don't know whether you'd like that or not , you might do , he got er , er , an Oscar for it , Daniel Day Lewis # Yeah # maybe doesn't really interest me you gonna get dressed or something or # Gonna get dressed ? # you make me feel cold sitting there with no t-shirt on , er oh big bowlful of breakfast you'll go pop , you do it yourself ? # Yeah so he can play on the floor # They did it , they did it # No where's his clothes then daddy ? # So where's his clothes ? # Oh , give him the sack or what # Pardon ? # No they're not no come on we'll have the lid off that thank you , you can go down , mummy can get you some clothes to wear oh # You don't wanna give him any of that , throw it all over him yeah , this is what your going to wear today , yep er oh I didn't bring any socks did I ? # I your mother's useless she is , she's # er come on porridge chops ooh , that's a wet one innit ? # Oh dear is it worth it ? # Oh dear # we are in trouble that you # again , won't I ? # No they wouldn't would they , when the weather cheers up ah mate ? # Sorry got some money in there , OK oh do your ballerina bit , we'll have to wash your face , yeah it's filthy , filthy face , breakfast face oh that's that new twins isn't it ? # What , what ah # Come on no where you going , trying to stand up , no don't you try to pull this off , trying to make this one come undone wow , oh yes teddy , dad # you're like in # Ooh we , well he's so fine , fine , fine , fine , fine , fine , so fine ya , ya , ya , ya , ya , he's so fine girl you ever wanna meet oh , oh , oh , oh ,yo , oh , oh , oh , dance then rrrrrp petite the finest girl you ever wanna meet try for , die for it's all fine she's really sweet the finest girl you ever wanna meet die for , so sweet , oh , oh , right oh , oh , oh , oh ,oh , oh , oh , oh # Reap petit the finest girl what in # let me # night , bless mummy and dad die for , sweet for she's got what it takes , she's everything that the boy really rate , oh cutie , my tooty fruity , my heart , my love she's oh , oh right , she's got just what it takes , she's got what it takes and with a boogy , really , really rates , oh , oh , oh , oh , yo , oh , oh , oh rrrrrp petit the finest girl you ever wanna meet rrrrp petit the finest girl you ever wanna meet rrrrp petit the finest girl you ever wanna meet # What you doing ? # Oh look at that weather # That's your face you have a bath tonight , you want those feet , go on then go and get them , go get them Floyd # going backwards , you said forward , got to get it forward , one , two , three , four one , two , three , four , one , two , three , four # Shall mummy go and find you some socks ? # What you doing ? # What you doing ? # Ah ? # Do you want a drop more milk , eh ? # Yeah , do you want any breakfast ? # yeah # Oh # I'll see how I am , I'll get him some socks , watch him ugh # and waste him # Oh Just had to go to the toilet didn't I ? # Yeah , right that's # oh yeah # see the jump , you didn't put his teddies up last night # Oh I didn't realise # Is he OK ? # What mobile ? # Yeah , you looking at daddy's feet , I'll get his erm , his cot in here now # oh yeah # I've forgotten the bowl , ugh , oh dear # oh dear # Yeah it does a bit don't it ? # Hello , thank you , er , er , er , er ah there # teddy # Sorry # oh , erm ah There we are then boy I got you , you doing now ? # That's something different for you ain't it ? # Ah ? # Come on then , way up # OK # Oh alright # Where are you going ? # Too long , I said it would be # You make a tea ? # Come on then , you can't sit back there , ooh oh you wanna stand up then , come on then , come on ooh , go on then , we'll go and see daddy , come on then come on then , come on then , come on move it move it , come on move your foot , over there I think come on then , come on , oh rrrm , rrrm , rrrm , rrrm , rrrm , who's that ? # Say daddy # come on then , rrrm , rrrm , run # come on , he don't like to swing his legs very much he does the whole body # Yeah , it's alright I'm giving up now anyway # Oh , er , he wants some medicine # Oh you're kicking baby , he really clings on here now , don't he ? # Shall I give you a drop of medicine ? # Way up , here would you like to # in the steriliser please he's ooh it's turn on tap right it's your medicine # the spoon's on the towel , oh # dad is incompetent # tastes like custard , # don't it ? # Yeah # oh yeah # Yes here I am lift him , so erm yeah so you just do a grey and the green # yeah # Enough what ? # Oh room above above the # I should think you will have # I mean if you did to the edge of the bath # Yeah , fine # Yeah , fine # Yeah # Oh , good idea , oh # Yeah # Well , yeah # Yeah hello baby , you'll go floppy backwards , you will , shake your head at me oh right mm ah # Sorry , no , you OK ? # What are you doing ? # No Peter , no , no , come this way come and see mummy , come on , come on come on come on , what you shaking your head for , you not gonna come ? # Peter come on you do your acrobatics this way Can you hear what they're saying ? # conception where and when was it ? # Here are mine , don't put them in your mouth # why , are they # I didn't see that , sorry oh useless the things they # on here # ooh , what have you got Peter , mummy's got it now ha , ha , ha , ha you're not bothered then , don't bother him , put it back on the bottle # no I think I can go over there now , thank you , here are look what about this ? # Pardon ? # I mean that was really , really turn that didn't you , you went to the other side and turn it over your # come on then foot's to , yeah a bit of an adjustment I think you need you're funny , you are , come on then come on then , right , hold that , you'll finish off the carpet anyway , here are then , # ta , ta where you gone ? # Where you gone ? # Come on you can roll over , here are , come on you can roll over # you gonna sit up ? # Sit up then , you sit up ? # Go on then sit up # no , you sit up , go on then , oh I did , pulled his arm see what he does , the old tongue hanging out , what you doing ? # His legs are getting a lot stronger now # cos when you , he , he flexes them , you trying to change his nap , bend his knee or something you can't # no , # oh dear # Ha , his new noise obviously , your new noise ? # Debbie's boys # aren't you ? # You're also on the move # take # for that now , yes , yes , yes , yes , yes Peter , yes , yes # when he grabs a thing , he really goes # it really , don't you ? # Ah ? # Very intent he is what's your dad doing ? # Is he pulling faces at you ? # How are you # are you getting bored now are you ? # Sorry # well you've had more sleep than I have # oh # sometimes did you have ? # Ah not gonna have to many , I'll take it nice and steady , yeah I bet you # Yeah , are you listening to him # yeah are you listening to him # Yeah , we know we've been there before haven't we ? # when I was first pregnant , cos I didn't realize I was pregnant # No I don't think so ah no not in front of me thank you # Oh god , oh disgusting creature , don't go near him either poo , mm , nice and smell erm boy , you wait until you get a whiff of it # feet , don't he ? # Cos every move we see him go # no , oh , I won't be able to go outside though will I ? # What go up a ladder ? # Mm # Ha , ha , thank you Peter , oh that's the biggest ice cream to # Yeah # I'd expect Tracy would want one , don't you queue up # Dinner's at two # ninety nine # , never mind # Two ice creams # Aaagh I wouldn't touch those Peter , oh no aaagh , aaagh god put them away he's gotten your feet tickled # Oh , ho # pervert you # Oh # He's # I think he's trying to eat your toes # Yeah # Oh dear oh er imagine that ah # Yeah , he would , I suppose he's been eating his own toes all day # Yeah # Alright it's alright # You # Only a bit , that wants a wash don't it , you can have a bath # Oh # How are you ? # Come on then come , do you like doing it ? # Bouncing on my leg and then he gets up on # he holds himself on the sofa # Yeah # Yeah # Yeah # Yeah , I ain't said anything to her though # Aye # Yeah # Really ? # Yeah , do you want some tea ? # He needed that # Oh he's alright . # I was only sick # about ten past one , well I had indigestion all night and I could feel it , and we'd had our tea and I thought oh I don't know , but I went to bed feeling alright and suddenly I woke up I thought oh my god I'm gonna be sick , I come running down stairs , but you know I was , I was sick but I know I hadn't finished and I'd sat down and I was sick three times . # Went to bed about two # Yeah yeah so we didn't get up till late this morning # Yeah not too bad , a bit sort of groggy I think cos I was up # No # Yeah # Oh # right # Yeah , it's good , sit and watch the television down here # No # Yeah # Yeah # We'll get everything sorted out this week , we'll , we'll move him at the weekend # Yeah # Yeah , it's lovely . # The , sod of a paper though , it's horrible paper that Disney , # I didn't know how he got it up , it's , it's only thin # Yeah # No , no , but yeah it was , it was awful paper , but I mean you'd got it up as long as you don't look too closely , it's got it's own , some of have # Yes # some of the joins have got to be touched up yet . # Oh yeah # right # Oh right . # Yeah # Yeah # I think it's erm # No # jumper , did you have a bit of a hot flush ? # A bit warm this morning # yeah # Oh were they ? # They're a little bit big # Yeah , but # yeah , no they're a little bit big so , yeah they look nice though , he likes a bath # So I've put the # in , in his baby walk and he's sort of # Ah # really ? # yeah # Oh , well perhaps we'll get him some of Thomas the Tank for his birthday then , if we've forgotten it , biscuit # Did you go swimming on Thursday ? # Yeah # No # Yeah , I have , of course he didn't really eat last week , especially # Yeah , he's a lot better , you can't hear it now . # Yeah , we've found something he likes for breakfast it's called Quakerwake , it's erm porridge with little bits of food in it # he eats a big bowlful . # He likes that . # Yeah , I do him cows milk during the day , he has er two bottles of that cows milk and then he has a , a big bottle of formula milk at night , so # Yeah # yeah # No cos the health visitor , she , cos I asked her about sterilizing , and , and she said with all teats they should be sterilized no matter what age they are # so , they're so , they've got all nooks and crannies in them , you can get all sorts in them # yeah # Yeah # Oh is he ? # That's good # Let's zip your suit up dear # Mm # So what's that # Thank you for them , thank you for # to know # Really ? # Well , you , oh # No # yeah # Yeah , yeah , well not if you ask , I mean if you ask somebody to come and help you # She's really gone funny ain't she ? # would have been somebody a counsellor or something . # Really # yeah # Yeah # No # I think it's guilty , that's what that is # Yeah . # Cruse # Yeah # No # Yeah , yeah . # Well if she gets funny again just turn around and say Pat well I think you need some help . # Oh yeah # Yeah # Oh yeah # No , I daren't tell her # No , I , I knew it was some time but I just I remembered Louise's birthday because Louise's birthday was the Friday the thirteenth # No Louise she was , oh no two , six # She's alright yeah , well I , I bought her a book but it's one of these , it's like a talking book a Disney one , it's got like a keyboard down the side and you press certain pads and it makes a noise and I thought oh rather than just getting an ordinary book , I thought that would be quite good # Yeah , but it's erm # No , no # There there's a good boy # Yeah # Charles is very much like that on the phone , you can't get a conversation out of him # Yeah , yeah , you know used to phone up and you used to think well what have you phoned up for ,cos you end up talking # and talking # Oh # no it's not # Well at least we say hello # Oh yeah , I'll go and see what she's doing # Yeah he's # oh when I phoned up you , # He likes that one nan , what if you , pick up the phone and dial and start talking to somebody he sits there and he's in fits of laughter , he loves it . # Might be from one of the holidays # That's # that's your # Yeah # Oh yeah # Oh yeah , mummy jacuzzi's , trouble is you get in there and you don't want to get out # I think we're gonna put erm erm the carpet , yeah put old carpet in his room , I don't want to , but # yeah , yeah # Erm , Joe's gone to Luton # Oh yeah , I think so . # Yeah # Yeah # yeah , it does # they will won't they ? # No , but I think it's worth knowing # yeah # Yeah # Yeah , yeah , yeah we was erm # No not yet # They've been # with the mortgage didn't they ? # no # Yeah I will # Yes . # Oh # Do you want them ? # Alright ? # Yeah # Are you going to eat your # You've got some mate , don't worry Mm , lovely bread mm , mm , mm Mum thinks the decoration it's lovely , she said tell him you've done a really good job , shush # yeah , she thinks it's great # Yeah , he's feeling a lot better today as well # feeding much better today # Yeah # Oh that's clever ,me # that # say about badge's # yeah # Yeah # yeah # right # Mm # Well # yeah I think # for now . # Sorry # What's he doing ? # what ? # Peter , you don't shift # oh yeah , # he'd got # wire mesh , cos I laughed at him he pulled it away and hit his head # yeah it is # Ta # Hurt me arm # Why couldn't they come on Friday ? # don't go in the cupboard # and er # were twenty nine , ninety nine but reduced to nineteen # You said you didn't want it # By the time you went to work # I'm not paying twenty quid for a shirt so you can wear to work # I thought you meant the , the # mustard shirt # Your suppose to chew it , yeah your supposed to chew it , alright I'll save for it # No I was gonna ask you for a lift down town , but er # sorry # don't know # that's a # sat on the bench , leg up # I # I'm tired , he's just playing , here you are # No # but he had the raffle off of er # No , he'd have a job to knock it off , it was left to er the word real thing # I put the washing out but it isn't dried # Come on # Yeah # Oh is it that , that thing tonight ? # Done already come on then come on you've got your favourite here , apricot # It was alright for twenty quid # aaaah # get your figure , diet # I love you too alright love # There he is , there's dad # mm # Oh he # very well at home # Don't know . # they do , don't they # mm # yeah and that , a lot of his old staff like Charles , or Debbie things like that the're all # Mm the're buying # out of me # he gets a company # so that makes it a bit worth while I suppose # yeah # no I know , they have to wait that's it , got to be quite left in the shop today weren't we ? # Yeah , the only other place we've got Josephine's immersion # I suppose # Ow , oh , oh , you've got all mummy's hair in your fingers , you do pull # yeah , great fun , shall mummy start pulling your hair like that , your evil , you really are , you know , # on me , wish # how much is # that's two hundred pounds # Er , we will , have you seen the # yeah # He's not invite sunshine # names like sunshine either # yeah , if it is sunny , I was gonna chuck curtains in there so I mean it looks like it's gonna , five year old # You can buy new covers for it but it'll cost you about eighty quid # Glad I wasn't out in it # toddelling or whatever # yeah , this is like a buggy baby thing # yeah # Peter # No # yeah oh # What you looking at ? # Come on you can go and sit back in there for two minutes , your just up to mischief out here , yeah , go on that's what you want don't , play with # Oh is that ? # Righty-o , I'm just going to get the washing in , shall I leave it out there until tomorrow ? # I said I suppose he has just say # Yeah # well his sort a , a regular time you know , you know from a , he'll be here fairly early # it rain # sometimes it wasn't until about nine o'clock you know # mm , quite with it , you know , here's your tea # erm , I think # your bread for tea # give them your bread , toast # oh I can't cut , will you , if you see yesterday it was so squashy this bread , I couldn't cut it , I'd have a go # I know , yours lasted a week # yes , alright , I , you'll have to ban me from cutting your loaf , you'll have to do it , you will . # I never was very good with bread mm I wasn't # I never was very good cutting bread # Oh # well yes , squashy # it's very difficult to cut , I thought I did excellent , well actually # probably not oh make you another tea ? # I do , I make that curry , I can freeze that # oh you were , like what ? # oh god , there's one pork chop in there you can have I think , that's have a look # see what I can find , I've got these out of Budgen's cos they were fifty nine P . # Yeah , that's what I thought , see what the're like , there's one porky chop , is there any in here do you know or not ? # steak , a curry # erm # do you want a pie ? # No , means I'll have to make it , er # soon get one out , in the week , can't we ? # Sorry darling don't look as if there's any chops no we haven't just a lone pork chop , erm , I can do you oh I'm gonna need some cider , sausage meat and pork casserole # no one , one pork chop , a lone pork chop # yeah # Where from though ? # Do you want er pork and sausage meat casserole ? # A bit more enthusiasm please # thank you right , oh dear , oh , got crushed no I don't know whether Ann will go to # this week , cos she's a , a bit pre-occupied with her holiday things , so she probably won't . # I don't know what he's got on special , so # oh yeah I think so # you got anything special offer this week mate not that I've got any money to buy anything oh I haven't turned the grill right off # oh , yeah ooh # which one , probably a daffodil actually # I think so they've shut , shut up since the rain haven't they ? # mm # mm # plenty of other things to do do you want me to write your mother's day card ? # mm , or are you gonna write erm ? # Suppose I'll have to put them both with a five can always buy her a plant or some or a box of chocolate's , oh sorry Melvin brought you these , forgot you were on a diet # oh oh dear I should think you could send every female relative possible a mother's day card # it's ridiculous # yeah I know , but I mean they've got things like to my god mother , # to my sister and things like that # mm it's ridiculous # mm # yes you did got him a card and a pair of socks # mm , what time was it , in June ? # my first , take to market # yeah # well yours are different # yeah , cost a pound # mm # yeah # Oh went on them , that was with them yesterday , Aaron he went off # sorry # I didn't see him # oh , I think this is the older boy # well their youngest one was # no Aaron was the one that run off # I think Peter was at erm play school because they go to play school two afternoon's a week # mm , so then I saw her last Tuesday or whenever she told me # mm , oh yeah , I think he's over two # yeah cos er , yeah he must be two and a half , cos er # er Stella left er , when he was six month's old # Are you gonna have any paste or not ? # oh I'm gonna switch this , turn the grill off # no I said I haven't switched the grill off fully # you said oh , alright see # no not much # I don't think so , do you ? # well that'll teach them won't it ? # Now they've got the bloody nerve to charge us half when we live there I don't think she'd dare say anything to me about it . # yeah # no , we're allowed to light a coal fire weren't we ? # She's having fun then going out into a home next , that'll be his fault # I bet his took # oh # yeah , and your mother having the central heating on # cooking everybody # no # no # oh that wouldn't be switched on yet # See these socks that she bought for Jade # yeah # gave them to Jade # these little girl socks # I know , that's a bit more girlie but not much # I know so she said will they fit Peter , I said oh yeah # yeah , mm , always nice to have some more , ridiculous in it ? # It must be love , love , love # is it ? # oh god # oh # but I know there's a , a LP or something that's been brought out # yeah because I saw it advertised in Woolworth's yesterday I did # yeah oh oh bloody washing's not gonna dry , oh how was the fire last night , we forgot about it didn't we ? # that was in your house dear # see how easily put off you can be how easily distracted you can be # no it wasn't oh it's lovely and dry , lovely # no leave them in here for now # you cheeky sod , never get's done , bloody hell # we'll see , they've been outside a little while , so # I know though , well it was very damp yesterday wasn't it , so ? # I'll put this bean bag in back in his cover # ah , that's a # I don't know whether to put them outside or not # I don't , don't know # I know , but , it's sort of # on the mind don't they ? # That's it er give us something and I'll put it in well try to put it in might get in there # Joanne , none of this dry you said ? # it's like trying to put a quart in a pint pot gonna dry them , it's dry , manage to get it in , it's awful # oh my that'll be # I'll see how the weather goes I mean I might hang it out I don't know . # Oh dear , I do feel sorry for you having to do all that # Well I said I might , I said I haven't , I've not decided yet # shut up # I'm not getting tinky on you # Melvin # did you bring your dish down ? # Are you sure ? # No , I believe you # I believe you , I just , asked # I know what you're like # Jade stop it # you didn't have to bit on my knee # no , I said have some toast and told you # oh god , mm , mm , mm # yeah , highlight of my morning # your rod ? # mm ooh that beer smells it does , you made a new lot didn't you ? # yeah # doesn't it ? # mm , sorry , I still haven't got any elastic , I meant to get some elastic for that bloody trousers , oh oh I've got to order dad some trainers I think , I might have a bath # , your fault not mine # you , I'd better send that off to Ben # I send that to Ben , oh if I do it now you can post it for me couldn't you ? # You haven't been a toilet yet , in teach of habit # oh , oh Tiny , I'd thought you'd finished I don't mind paying ninety nine P for these , because they , so much goes towards # charity # my , I told you that mother's day one was one ninety nine # what ? # I do you spell village ? # I think I've spelt village wrong # I've put villiage oh there's obviously a word oh silly woman yeah Well where's the sunshine ?mm oh I suppose I'll have erm , doing . # When ? # I suppose that's the only time he could go , you know # get ready , yeah , I was gonna say something to you # erm no it couldn't of been that important # I can't think what # I was gonna say # oh , I've forgotten , you know my brain leaves me at the most important time , don't forget to post that will you ? # he's birthday yesterday # telephone bill , it's all paid as well , yeah # No , did you write a cheque out ? # it would of gone down then # You had them then , yeah in an envelope , yeah , now if you write a cheque out for us , it goes down my dear , yeah when will I get my wages ? # Er , yeah being your secretary # oh do you want me to post that letter ? # To that , that company # I think it'll have to go down to the post office , I've write to Diane now # proprietor # no problem , do that then ,and then I'll er , I'll hoover up , and go and have a bath # popped in to see Peter ? # on his front , yeah , that's how he was asleep last night # his leg was sticking out of er cover's last night , that's , tucked his leg back in got everything ? # good # small round thing # yeah # oh dear # yeah # yeah # yeah # yeah # haven't they got a coloured book then ? # yes # Yes , they're closing that # yeah Roger's been on telly # Units # yeah # yeah # yeah # yeah # Did you ? # It hasn't gone two yet , you haven't ? # You haven't # phew , what's that cooking ? # Can't you smell it ? # Can't you smell it ? # yeah # You should of finished it then # yeah # yeah # yeah # yeah # I don't know him this is bad as # No , he started off with # only small you know # yeah # yeah # so have you got the job ? # yeah # yeah it is # yeah # yeah # yeah # what they charge for # yeah # he , what did he say about that ? # oh dear , a , alright for # ha # yeah # No # Had a go with the toilet door # yes # oh dear , that fire is getting a bit cold now ain't it ? # it's nice a day then # Right , bit of muck weren't it ? # Bath tomorrow , leave you one tonight yeah # Yep # oh , you're right # hand paper # done it , oh yeah , oh yeah , oh yeah , tell daddy what you did this afternoon # the carpet Some people Yeah , we're gonna see the doctor tomorrow , yeah , mum's got to have a check up , yeah no , no point in it really # yeah , we'll have to be there about two minutes four # so that I can be wee'd and weighed , if that's alright # Hurray , oh , er , no poo I don't believe it , hurray , done loads of them today haven't you ? # Yeah I can believe it , there , there , well she said , they've taken their teeth # yeah # I'll erm , erm I'd get insurance # hadn't I ? # Yeah # Come on you , ooh , come on , he loves watching his dad # what ,oh look at these # oh dear , come here ooh , these are hard shape ain't they boy ? # Never mind # Yeah , it's not worth getting some , no send them through , 'jama's # I know I've looked # Ooh Peter , stop kicking # Paid them for it yet ? # Go on , into here , mum I'll go and make your bot , bot # If you had your own cat as they're very territorial animals , I mean if they could see them off . # And they wouldn't come in onto to a property . # Yeah . # No , occasionally you get them in the garden but chase them off . # No . # . # Aha ! # Yeah , I thought it was ! # Er oh yeah . # Yeah Diane and . # Yeah yeah . # Why shouldn't she know ? # It isn't fair . # Half the time I keep forgetting to switch it on ! # By the time to get it , switch it on , you think oh , it's gonna be too obvious ! # Can't it . # now really . # Sorry ? # Ha ! # The tape people are collecting on Friday . # What do you think of this club ? # Oh cos I'm going up to the doctors as you know . # I shan't be long there . # Got the . . # Er and then I'm meeting Diane at your mum's . # Yeah ! # Then she's gonna bring me home . # And then I thought , oh I've gotta go down to the town haven't I ? # Said I'd perhaps leave Peter there with them while I go shopping . # Perhaps you can run me back ? # Well it's nice of Diane though , to offer to . # Yeah . # Okay . # Yeah ? # Yeah , yeah . # Probably . # Yeah . # Aha . # You're right actually . # But , because of you were running late you see , it harasses . # Twenty to five ! # Oh , I suppose I better go and do that ironing ! . # Yeah ! # That bloke little dairy bloke died ! # Mm . # Mm . # Yeah . # No . # They've opened next door . . # The old boy with the Capri van service thing whoever he is ! # Yeah , he's in hospital . # Well I told you , he was taken away ! # Well , yeah , Michelle told me . # Yeah , that's it . # Yeah they are . # Cos you were saying about that Golf . # No there'll be two . # Ever since erm mum died , that was the start . # I think , it's better in the house . # No . # no . # I said oh I was so cross ! # I said how would they like to be like that , all the time ! # I said they won't bloody lock you up !a dog like that ! # No . # Definitely ! # Is it ? # Running about ! # It must be bored stiff ! # I've never seen it . # Terrible ! # Yeah . # Disgusting ! # Yeah . # Terrible ! # About a dog . # But it's not fair to the animal , to keep it ! # I mean why do they # bother to keep it ? # Ay ? # Yeah . # Yeah . # Better they won't do anything ! # Go round and see them . # I think it's a bit too much really ! # I mean i , if it was more content it wo , would be better . # If it had been out for a walk or you know ? # Or # was allowed to go inside . # Dunno . # Oh ! # Oh , anyway # Come on away ! # Leave your mum in peace ! # Talk to me , here are talk to me . # Here are , what's this ? # Yeah you sit playing there . # Oh dear ! # Oh , that's good ! # Yeah , and you'll # I think they're up here ! # rich ! . # He'll be rich when you get home ! # Yeah ! # Don't shout ! # You should learn ! # Did he ? # Here are then . # You doing the shape ? # My nice shapes . # Yeah don't you think ? # Oh that's not bad is it ? # No . # No , don't get that one , it's a red one that goes in there . # Red hole . # It can go in there . # You . # In there . # Goes in there . # I ,I ,Er , what about that one now ? # That one goes in number two , doesn't it ? # Where's number two ? # Which one's number two ? # That's two in , something goes in there . # Number one . # That's a red one . # Red one . # Number two . # Hopefully I should be having a car soon . # I know . # No , sorry ! # Come round another day and play with it . # It's alright . # I hope you get on alright ? # Oh ! # I should be having a car soon anyway . # Aha . # See you ! # I hope you get on alright ! # Want a hand with those seats ? # Ha ! .are you ? . # There we are ! # Good luck ! # You didn't have a very long sleep did you ? # Estimate back . # So you know . # Mm . # Oh ! # Hah ! # You don't want one of them . # Mm . # No . # Well it'll been in on the table . # .Now then get you change ! # Have a wee in a pot . # There . # Okay . # Yeah . # Mm . # Mm . # this morning ! # Mm !as good as what he took to bed . # Mummy warmed up the porridge , and so did Peter . # Got it in his hair , all over his face ! # Yeah . # And when I went and got him up this morning his legs were out the bottom of the cot again ! # And ! # Which means the same leg's hanging round . # And he got one arm out of his jamas ! # Like # he'd done it ! # Didn't you ? # Mm . # So we've been up for some time cos the arms are wet where he'd been sucking it ! # Hadn't it ? # . # Bit of crust for you boy ! # Oh , mummy needed that ! # Yeah , nice sandwich ! # Woh ! # Lovely !scrambled eggs and bread . # He eat a whole dish full ! # Decided not to your little help . # Well I need to be doing more ! # Well he did about three laps of the lounge this morning . # Didn't you ? # Oh lovely ! # Yeah , that girl was saying , apparently there used to be glass in front of that there there used to be a glass cabinet attached to the wall there . # Yeah ! # Dunno , I mean there's been nothing like that in here . # Said it was all gone when we came in ! # She said , well they must of took it all out ! # Yeah . # I think well we knew there was something there because erm I think you can tell . # She said well he took it for the glass . # The council . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Well they didn't take the gas fire did they ? # Yeah . # I see it's been disconnected as though somebody was gonna take it . # Mm . # Yeah I know , but if it's council , but they got that # Yeah . # So he's gonna leave the gas fire . # Hey ! # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah . . # You finish it off ! # Mhm mm ! # Mm . # Does it ? # No , it's just something ! # Sorry ? # Oh right ! # Did you get your ? # Yeah . # I think you can get them pretty cheap , can't you ? # They're not like er # a front one are they ? # Cos they've gotta be pretty , definitely need them . # For kids . # Facing front . # Go on the front seat . # Yeah , that's where it needs fitting . # No ! # Yeah . # Sorry ? # Gonna have a go at it ? # No . # No I'm not . # . # Er yeah , we've nearly finished . # Yeah , it's brilliant ! # Er no Cos it's up like patterned on the on like , two walls and then we've got like like a balloon different balloon erm wallpaper # And some of it's gone up alright , but he put a couple of strips up last night and it all bubbled and then he I heard him this morning shwooh ! # And ripped it off the wall ! # Yeah but , no you see the wallpaper actually stretched ! # So I think when it # Alright , yeah ! # He did it once before # You know , ? # And it won't go round the corners ! # So I said well you don't go round corners ! # Oh , no , no it won't stick properly ! # Oh , ! # So I haven't # and it putting down properly , it will go round corners ! # Rather than catching it ! # But I mean , no , he's done alright ! # But er I mean I'm not you know , there to criticise him # Yeah . # Well I did all the paint work . # All the glossing and that and er he's done the wallpapering . # So , that was good ! # Listening to them , I mean , they're so frightened . # Shall have get some more shouldn't we ? # Oh yeah . # Oh yeah ! # Well yeah , that's true enough with him ! # So that's true enough ! # He said something about a will ! # Oh , there's my car keys ! # I must have threw them away again ! # Yeah ! # If I , I'll throw them away ! # Cos I sort of tend to collect the sweety papers in the same pocket . # It empties the pocket and I thought the car keys were in there , my car keys . # And erm thrown , thrown them away , out of my pocket ! # And I didn't think of looking there ! # Had my car keys in there . # Yeah ! # Silly ! # Ay ? # Scatty batty ! # Can I have that then ? # I bought that along with me , just in case they were gonna . # I thought if it makes it growl only . # Oh not much ! # Yeah , or it's up to you , you can use see that doctor all the time if you like . # And then they just leave it to you . # Say , do you wanna see the doctor or the # midwife ? # Oh do they ? # Yeah . # Yeah . # Oh yeah . # Yeah , then you've gotta . # And take you to # Wha ha ! # And ! # It's good when you get on . # Yeah , and says and don't worry about that . # My blood pressure's right down ! # Because I # you know ? # Yeah . # Yeah , that was alright . # He said oi did you back on with it he says ! # Peeking round like that ! # I said alright , you don't need to rub it in I said , I know ! # And I said I can't wait to go on a diet , ! # Oh alright then and shut up ! # He said I , he said I didn't offend you did I ? # I said , no , she'd know if you've offended , he said , cos I'm sure you'd say something ! # He said , oh , you'd probably hit me ! # So I said , yeah , that's right ! # Yeah . # Oh let's go and # sit in there . # Sit on a proper chair ! # Ah ? # What does he do ? # What do you mean , work wise or # Oh he , well he potters around and goes slowly ! # Like a bloody tortoise ! # I told you I sat round there once and it took him an hour a whole hour , and I'm , I'm not exaggerating to fit or to put up half a sheet of wallpaper ! # And it wasn't the full length of the wall because they got a dado rail it was half . # It took an hour ! # One sheet ! # I was getting so frustrated ! # I was gonna say , Kevin , do you want me to do that ? # I'll do it ! # I'll put it up ! # I was at eight months pregnant at the time . # Yeah . # Last year ! # Look dear ! # Can't you remember that one ? # Yeah . # It really did . # It took him ages ! # Yeah . # It'll take him about three weeks to do the decorating in that house ! # I mean , # said . # Yeah , wallpapering . # The border , well I dunno about the bor . # I know ! # Yeah , well I didn't know what to say ! # Yeah . # Yeah . # . # I know . # Solvite . # What you gonna have , the Polycell ? # Yeah . # Do it well with Polycell ! # Ah ! # Yeah I know ! # Got to get some . # Mm . # Is preparation work boring ? # Oh ! # I don't dare ! # I reckon . # What needs doing in the toilet downstairs to the ceiling ? # You asked him to leave your on the # Oh , yeah . # I know ! # You need to chip it # off ? # No . . # I don't know what that wood's , the wood's there for anyway ! # Oh is it ? # houses aren't they ? # Oh I'll have a toilet in there . # There's no room in there . # Yeah . # Can't . # I would just paint over it . # Oh !gonna need an ambulance ,get bashed about ! # I don't mind if you don't ! # Yeah , I don't mind this painted . # Well , if somebody walks round with a pen or a pencil , or crayons . # Yeah I know ! # So , I mean , what's the point of you know making it look really , really nice and you know , all you could is just slap a coat of paint over it ! # Honestly , I think you'd be silly to decorate it ! # Yeah I really do . # Yeah . # Then when we can choose you know ? # Oh yeah , woodwork painted ! # You know , change that to white . # Oh yeah , do all the woodwork and that , but just paint , literally paint over the walls . # I mean it'll be fresher cos the paper's not bad is it ? # Then er really # I think it'll be the best thing , you know , just in case you do get crayon and felt tip over the walls and that ! # And then you haven't ruined wallpaper that you've gone out and bought especially . # Oh yeah , decorate that and the hall . # Yeah . # But I mean , this is gonna be like the family room so , I mean , it is gonna get knocked about a bit ! # Yeah . # You've done to there . # Want a cup of tea ? # Okay then . # So how's John now ? # How's John now ? # Oh has he ? # Oh oh yes ! # Anyway ! # Haven't ? # Oh the airport ! # Yeah ! # Oh dear ! # Yeah . # Yeah . # Oh yeah . # Oh ! # Yeah . # Oh really ! # Oh yeah . # Who's that ? # Ah ha ha ! # Really ! # All the albino crocodile . # Yeah . # alligators ? # Alligators . # white . # Well I suppose they'd charge you wouldn't they ? # That's what they're probably doing . # Yeah . # Mm . # Oh really ! # You could see all the dolphins out ? # I know ! # Ah look ! # Yeah . # Oh God ! # Yeah . # Little baldy ! # Oh that's nice ! # Yeah . # Oh yeah ! # I say ! # Oh Derek ! # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah . # You're trying to grab the bottle aren't you ? # Blimey look at the size ! # You can see , sort of # can't you ? # Yeah . # Yeah . # Oh ! # The open ! # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yes oh yeah , there's the bag there and all that . # Ah that's nice , that one ! # Reading the paper . # Yeah ! # Yeah . # Ahhh ! # Yeah , that'd of been lovely ! # Yeah . # Kangaroo . # Yeah ! # Yeah , tries to get out . # Oh that's pretty innit ? # I just used them up because I wanted to make the camera to have a new film in for dad . # Are they ? # Yeah , don't chew it ! # Yeah . # Here are , do you wanna have a look ? # Yeah . # You and Peter . # Did he ? # So she was driving was she ? # Yeah . # Yeah . # They were , they were all upside fir # How much do I owe you Anne ? # That's everything ? # That's for the lemonade and that ? # Five seven # Not bad ! # Eleven pound # Yeah . # Three , four , five , that's ten . # Eleven pound they got ten # Fifty P . # Can I owe you sixty P ! # Thank you . # Well I can give you loads of coppers ? # Yeah . # Oh yeah . # Do you know what they've got on next week or not ? # Oh no ! # Do you know what # Yeah . # Oh . # You ain't got many # Yeah , I did . # They're nice aren't they ? # Yeah . # Ay ? # Mm . # oi ! # Well I feel uncomfortable so I don't # Yeah ,and talk to somebody can't you ! # Can't you ? # No # It's at home . # Oh , about my freezer ? # Ay ? # They're lovely ! # Wedding bells to do this one . # Oh yeah , it's finished ! # It's all been done . # No , I think Mel # He's gonna do it . # Erm # Yeah . # Nope , finished ? # Say , see you ! # Thanks for the book ! # Oh . # Hooray ! # At nan's , yeah . # Oh does he ? # Yeah . # Yep , oh yeah ! # Oh right ,yeah ! # Bye bye ! # Bye bye ! # Mummy's gonna leave you ! # Mummy's gonna leave you ! # Yeah ! # Oh Mickey's here . # feet ain't it ? # So . # No , # they're , sort of # Yeah , we had those . # Really ! # Well Melvin did some work for them . # You see , now he does work for them , so I mean , if he ripped him off , yeah , he can get with that , yeah . # No . # This house is bigger than theirs ! # Mm . # up there . # Definitely don't like that ! # That's all the like the window you got in one area . # Yeah . # No . # Yeah . # No ! # No . # No back door . # Yeah , go out the back door . # You need a door to get out the back , don't you ay ? # Don't wanna use the French doors ! # I know . # No . # Yeah ! # Yeah . # No , this house is bigger than theirs ! # Lot bigger . # No ! # The only thing they've got is a # Yeah . # The only thing they've got # Yeah . # Mm . # I dunno . # Oh yeah . # Yeah . # Gonna take it out because then we can move the bed over to that wall . # So we can arrange the furniture decently in the room . # Yeah . # Bye , see you # Ann ! # Thanks a lot ! # Yeah . # Ta ta ! # Yeah . # Bye ! # Yeah fine , . # Eh ! # Yeah . # Did she ? # in between weren't it ? # Oh so what time are they due , about two ? # Yeah it fell down the side there . # No ! # It's only water ! # I knew something was gonna happen . # You , stop laughing ! # You may laugh ! # What ? # No , I haven't seen one . # He's tired . # He's tired . # Ian know he owes that or what ? # I'm go , I'm gonna be . # Oh yeah ! # You can # Yeah , it was . # Ah ! # Oh she'd mean it , yeah ! # Yeah , yeah you told me . # Yeah , you told me yeah . # That old ! # You did . # What ? # What was he saying then ? # Yeah . # Yeah . # He can have . # That's right , yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Well cos had to be didn't he ? # Yeah . # Yeah . # That wouldn't of worried you ! # No ! # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah . # It's quite good that that chap had actually showed you the right quote weren't it ? # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Well he can't do a thing about it ! # He knows he can't ! # He's got the car ! # Well they're such pigs aren't they ! # Yeah , well tha , they've dropped themselves right in it now ! # In actual fact , what you wanna do now is to er perhaps have a little er letter writing to Avon . # Yeah . # Tell them what you think of them . # And er let them yeah let # Yeah do . # them know what sort of , how have behaved . # Yeah . # So complete with threats ! # And er just tell them that er the way they've behaved , that you thought the way to # I mean though innit ? # Well # You thought the way they behaved was er despicable ! # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Yeah but you must complain to Avon though ! # Cos Avon's a big insurance company . # And I've done # I've done lots of work for them in the last couple # of years . # Yep . # Yeah yeah . # That's right . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Well # That's right , yeah . # Right , well if give me their address , then we can get a letter . # Yeah , it's at at er # Wentworth . # Oh right . # Yeah . # Oh well , you know you can draft a letter up # Yeah , just say that you were very # disappointed with the way their agents , i .e . Quadling er have been behaving ! # Dealing , yeah . # And er er also mention the fact that er er you know for a fact or , or , you know that er the other quotes that er put in a bill , put in a bill for a er about a hundred pound more than what I did , or whatever , whatever # Mm . # it was ! # And er they'll know this and er # then , then just tell them the facts you know ? # Yeah . # And also mention that er this bloke came round and issued a offered er int , er intimidation and threats ! # Legal threats as well ! # Yeah , and some days you need to . # And er you know put it down in writing because that way Avon will then se see and the , hang on ! # What's Quadling playing at here ! # We're not having that ! # Yeah . # We're not having this ! # And also state that over the years er your father used to run the business done hundreds of jobs for Avon Insurance at , and er also you yourself have done jobs for Avon Insurance before who have never ever had any trouble whatever so ever ! # Like er you know , with any of the work we've done # er it's always been er guaranteed i .e . if a customer was not satisfied , then one hundred percent we will rectify whatever it is they're not satisfied with . # Mm . # We always maintain that our word is our bond all of our work . # And then to be treated er as out and out er criminals , like this Quadling had done with us is just beyond all bounds of having reasonable # Mm . # business sense ! # It's not ! # Not over the phone . # Spoken as in but it's you know # I know . # But that's intimidation that is , threats # at you . # Okay . # That's right . # Yeah . # By the way , I've told you I got charged er fifteen pounds did I ? # Oh I told you Mel , did I ? # And ten pounds from the bank ! # Cos I was twenty five pence overdrawn ! # So I wrote a stinking letter to them ! # A one of the one of the sentences , , how dare you authorise the withdrawal of fifteen pounds from account without prior notification ! # Or at least having the decency and good manners to at least let me know what you'd done ! # Yeah ! # And er , anyway I got this terrific letter back ! # You should , well granddad was there about half an hour reading it ! # It was er one foolscap plus of , of words you know , explaining what , what they'd done and all this and why they'd done it ! # They credited you ? # And yeah , they've gone and re-credited me for the fifteen pound ! # Yeah ! # Great ! # Well then , no , what it is they've charged for each # Yeah . # cheque that you # Yeah . # you do about a quarter . # I wouldn't of minded , like I said to the bloke er if he , if I'd been er a hundred pounds overdrawn or fifty quid overdrawn or something like that , I wouldn't of minded so much because I knew # that I would be overdrawn . # Mm . # And I'd know that I'd incurred that expense . # But er but a mere twenty pe pence ! # I thought , it's an insult my flipping intelligence ! # But it was , you know . # Well anyway I got this lovely letter back ! # Oh well ! # So letter and er and evening compiling it has er gained me my fifteen pound back ! # Yeah . # No it doesn't hurt to write a few letters . # Oh David ! # Yes . # Oh it's # Yeah . # So why did he come round and see you ? # Start again on booze ! # Did he ? # Well if , if he's got an M O T on it he'll be able to run it until the M O T # runs out . # Oh well he can run until then , then and just take it out to and leave it there . # Has he ? # Yeah . # And what are they doing about it , nothing ! # I reckon it ought to be compulsory that . # Like a car needs to go in for the M O T , you've gotta # Mm , you've gotta have your eyes tested . # for your eyes . # Yeah . # In Germany you have to carry , if you wear glasses , you have to carry a spare pair of glasses with you ! # Yeah . # I had to do this in Adelaide you know , when I went for my D S V license . # I had loads of dots in front of me you know , in this machine # Colour blind . # and er yeah , I had to er tell them what numbers were what er letters # Mm . # numbers rather were coming , coming up , you know ? # And I just ran through them , you know , it was no problem to me . # But I can image yo ,yo , you can stand # You'd fail . # doing it . # So and er ooh I had they did er this old butterfly thing as well , the old psychology bit as well , you know . # What does that look like ? # You know ! # A blob of ink squashed together what else ! # You know ? # Yeah . # And er how old ? # That was the first time I had to cough for anybody that was , as well . # . # I didn't particularly like that idea . # Just testing for a hernia , I told I hadn't got one ! # Yeah . # It's like that er truck driver that came into your place when er you and er that bloke that used to there . # And a he came in there and er for his glasses and er old was having a headache actually everything # Oh yeah . # and he , he was a er said he was nearly enough , near enough blind ! # Mm ! # And here he is driving trucks around the countryside ! # Yeah . # And he persisted as well ! # Yeah , he didn't need glasses for driving ! # You know er ! # The old , old ones are the worst , I tell you ! # Yeah . # Well anybody over forty years old it ought to be , it ought to be compulsory ! # Mm . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Well what , I'll never forget this chap do up on Avenue Road he were like that ! # He'd been driving for sixty years , you've never had an accident . # Yeah , I mean , his vision was absolutely appalling ! # I said , well you shouldn't be driving ! # See even with glasses on ! # No , my driving's alright ma ! # But he can't hear nothing about ! # It's a privilege . # I'll always maintain that people with glasses know they've got something wrong with their eyes so the chances are if they're wearing glasses then they can see properly ! # It's the guy that hasn't got glasses , that's the guy you've gotta worry about . # Yeah . # What's the time ? # Any idea ? # Oh right . # Yeah . # Mhm . # Ooh ! # Excuse me ! # That wasn't now . # . # He's ain't he ? # # Don't take it seriously ? # You can bet your bottom dollar some teams would go bananas on that ! # Not half ! # For the # It's is it ? # Mhm . # That's not bad ! # Yeah . # Oh that's nice isn't it ? # A Humber # Oh look at the old indicators ! # .Moggy Minor did that to me ! # Got a little pink # aren't they ? # Must be one of the first ones out . # Mm . # So didn't have no indicators on its side , just one of the things popped up ! # Don't you remember , oh no you don't . # I was sort of driving along , what ? # Damn thing's slowing down ! # I was looking for this blooming half thing sticking out ! # They stopped them about nineteen fifty nine , something like that . # He's driving around without his glasses on ! # Why isn't he tested ? # Fancy having a car for that many years ! # Yeah . # Yeah . # They are yeah ! # Well I'm pleased with my Citreon . # The only thing I don't like about it is the fact that it's not a a three litre engine . # Oh ! # But er it does everything I want it to . # Can't wait to get that Sierra ! # Yeah , you've done well with that . # Yeah . # Ay ? # Yeah , I think he's getting a bit attached to it . # You sure . # I watched that once . # Mind you , it's only five minutes though innit ? # We watched it once didn't we ? # It was on before and I didn't find it very funny at all ! # Yeah . # I just never watched it . # No , it's not worth watching ! # Yeah . # Yes . # Yeah . # But half of it you couldn't understand could you ? # Cos they were going off in their like their lingo # and he talks like that and sh what the hell are they saying ! # Yeah . # Yeah , it's erm black boy . # Oh ! # You alright muncher ? # Always liked food Actually it's not very nice ! # I gave him a pizza and then he . # Didn't you ? # Don't you ? # You alright ? # Yeah I'm alright . . # No , I guess not . # No . # Yeah , he was upside down this morning ! # Weren't he ?the wrong way round in his cot this morning ! # Was he ? # Yeah . # Dunno how he does it . # Yeah . # What one ? # Oh ! # If he's a hologram machine he shouldn't need to eat . # If he's a hologram he shouldn't need to eat things . # Where are they then ? # Where's Fun in the Sun ? # Today ? # . # Oh I've got a right pair here ! # I really have ! # Things like that they ought to put you in a room together ,you'd be fine wouldn't you ! # Oh ! # Ha ! # Da da da da da da da da . # Oh I didn't get up to him . # Not with the bashing . # Have you looked at him this morning ? # No . # Well he , stayed like that . # Head on the head on the mattress and duvet over him ! # Mm . # He takes it with him now , so it's probably good idea actually , take the blanket off . # Yeah . # He was warm before , probably a bit too warm . # Shall we go upstairs ? # Mhm . # How long's it been since you went to Sainsbury's ? # Still # Yeah . # Erm # That can be last . # Same day as the hoover weren't it ? # Twenty ninth of er February . # Oh ! # Oh , that's nearly a month ! # Get them . # Isn't it ? # Twenty nine ninety five . # It was ninety pounds wasn't it , in Sainsbury's ? # Yeah . # Is that awful ? # You look it's got his dungarees on here and a little girl's wearing them ! # ! # There ! # Oh ,for a boy or a girl . # Oh you're not stupid ! # You ought to go in and have a look , you know , cos like love that ! # Lovely ! # Really is ! # Really reasonable prices ! # Yeah . # They got some little shorts , I think I'm gonna get him some . # There's a pair of navy , and a navy striped shorts . # I thought well they'd do for him for summer . # Yeah , so gotta do like ju just shorts and a T-shirt to match , and a short and top . # Yeah . # About six quid I think . # For a T-shirt and shorts . # Yeah . # Yeah . # Well yeah , I know . # Australia , when you look at clothes ! # I mean , that sweatshirt I bought , how much would that be ? # Worked out about two fifty ? # It was four dollars ninety nine wasn't it ? # That's where my money goes ! # Yeah well , I think it # goes . # Yeah , that's nothing ! # If we have vegetables every day , how long would that last ? # Grow our own . # You can freeze most vegetables . # Yeah . # Yeah and they used to blanch them first . # Most vegetables you have to blanch first . # Just put them in boiling water for about thirty seconds . # Yeah , so it's no problem . # Yeah . # It's not fair ! # Really . # Yeah well they're bigger carrots . # Mm . # Aha ! # Well ! # I can't out , out the money out of T S B . . # Today . # Toilet rolls . # There's none left ! # Yeah . # But I need to make three pound , cos I owe Anne a bit of money don't I ? # The lemonade er pay the milk man . # I'll tell him to come back next week . # So why can't I have the money ? # Mm ? # You can take it out of my wages ! # Why ? # Yeah well I'll give you th , you can take the money out of the money you're gonna give me next week . # If you're gonna give me any money are you ? # And you can do it tha , when I get my family allowance , you can have that ! # My dole cheque as well ! # Alright , you had your moan at me last time Melvin the pure fact that I hadn't put the money in # to help ! # Otherwise I'd have some money now , wouldn't I ? # I know , that's for Peter ! # Wasn't it ? # Thank you ! # Should of , I know I should of done ! # Yeah I know ! # But I shouldn't done ! # Yeah , but I wouldn't of had enough money for Anne ! # Would I ? # So how much did you spend Saturday night ? # You spent ten pound on your home brew . # We owe you money for Sa , Saturday night , that's alright . # Yeah , so # I had to # I had fifty quid ! # Yeah , twenty quid , and what was that for , for bloody wallpaper ! # Most of it ! # Well , it's the way you , don't want me to have any money ! # Well you can have the money when you want , I can't ! # All my bloody money ! # You everybody else ! # You spend the lot on yourself ! # Like Saturday , you were out boozing ! # That's alright ! # Piss that up the wall ! # You can spend as much as you like to do that ! # It's still the same Melvin ! # Alright , you can have fucking newspaper to wipe your arse with ! # You can ! # I wouldn't mind if I went out and spent it on myself , but I didn't ! # I'm not saying you do , but I haven't spent a penny on myself ! # It's all fo food or Peter or the house or something else ! # But it doesn't all go on bills though does it ? # Well # You took the responsibility on . # Aha ! # Not many ! # What do you mean , you sit there and that's all I get for about two hours is a load of bloody shit that you go work , you do this to spend it all on bills ! # Oh shi , oh well just go and then you won't have to pay , you wouldn't have the bloody worry of it would you ? # If I could go to bloody work , I would ! # I don't know where the card is ! # No , I'm not gonna go and get any money ! # Wouldn't dare ! # It's not up there ! # It's not ! # It's your fault ! # You were the last to have it ! # You did ! # Come on , just get something out ! # Thank you . # Here's one , here you are , look , you play with these . # Here are Ben ! # Ben ! # oi ! # That urgh ! # makes me laugh is , that you get all these toys for children , sort of , nought to three months # and erm , I mean his cousins , what are they , five and six ? # And they'll sit and they'll play for hours with them ! # And they're kids toys ! # Come on then ! # Sho , show her that bed show her your bedroom ay ? # Come here ! # No . # What the doll ? # Well I got it , I just bought it back when we went to Russia . # Yeah , got it from Russia though . # Shut up ! # I had to throw throw a bucket of water at the door to show them . # I stood there with a mop at the side , and he sort of looked at me and all the water the came in ! # I said there you are , you see ! # Oh I don't mind , yeah but . # Can't # Don't put them down . # So the painting outside , . # You know , it's all too much ! # Down there down . # And all round there , there ! # Wants it ! # Wants it ! # Mm no doubt we'll see ! # Yeah , there's lots which is up there . # And then . # All clean ! # Yeah . # Do you take sugar ? # I don't know why they don't clear out all the very old ones and then put some people in there ! #