#
Mm , like , that little girl #
is it , was it a bit like #
no , was it a bit like Paper Moon ? #
oh ain't ya ? #
Tatum O'Neal she used to erm swindle and cheat people #
mm you've got a cheese slice #
Are you going out tonight ? #
mm Geoffrey's going to watch #
do karate , in town , now #
well he likes marshal art don't he ?we won't tell daddy that you knocked a full on the table of black currant all over the carpet will we ? #
we've not told daddy that you've done that #
are you up to two days at the Co-Op now ? #
oh , can't you swop it for another day ? #
mm , if you see him #
up to him #
why she acting managing then ? #
oh , third , is she getting married ? #
oh I heard er talking to one of the #
yes #
oh yeah #
mm , I heard her talking to one of the lads , I think the dark hair , short , what's his name ? #
oh Matt , right , and he was saying something about getting married and he said about bridesmaids , er have you choose the bridesmaids dresses ? , how old is she then ? #
there are #
sit down then #
I don't think the monkeys will be on for much longer then , a few moments #
aren't they ? , #
I wonder if they'll be able to say #
no #
Victoria #
Victoria's got a monkey hasn't #
no Victoria at aunty Ann's is it ? #
she's not ? #
mm #
you heard her , playing with a monkey , when ? #
mm #
is that his favourite word then ? #
there's my son showing me up as usual #
yeah #
you eat it #
I didn't wake you up cos I thought you'd want a lie in #
I know how much you like your bed , was it nice and on , was it nice and warm when you got in bed last night ? #
no , it weren't , shouldn't of been on fire , but it should of been warmish #
what inside ? #
mm #
was it nice ? #
, I'm gonna make stew again this week , I love stew , it was lovely wasn't it ? #
did you like the stew ? #
yeah I will do that's why I bought the mince meat , I'm going to do lasagne #
some what ? #
no , why have a bit of daddies if you want some then #
have a taste daddy let you have some there #
ah so it just picks up your voice ? #
Have you sorted out all your washing Martin ? #
have you got an exam on Monday ? #
what exams ? #
is it ? #
is it ? #
really ? , #
I thought you didn't like your German , are you a bit picked up on that then ? #
are they ? #
I wouldn't say that in case you don't do very well #
well I hope so #
let's see a horse falling over #
oh yes #
no you have to get yourself up with your four legs , you've got four legs so you can get up , that's it , just , that's how horses get up on the front legs first , then the back , that's right #
that programme on and that last night was good that emergency #
it was , it was the police , the fire and the ambulance and it was a clip from each , it was good #
what made me laugh was this police woman saying , it annoys me , if you have a drink you shouldn't drive , and I thought to myself and I bet #
she's never had a drink in her life and got into a car , has she ? #
that's right , I think she was quite hypocritical , I mean she said , any body that has a drink and gets into a car is a potential murderer #
well that , I mean a lot of policeman have drink #
as part of their duty to get to know people #
they have drinks in pubs #
and then go home and drive so there , there #
potential murderers #
but I didn't like the accent you very , very #
oche I all the time #
your very oche I #
the Birmingham accent sounds really thick unfortunately , it doesn't matter how educated you are , but if you come from Brom you sound dopey #
don't you ?no , no #
she only has , yeah too many programmes , she means too many adverts #
what was that Agony ? #
I hated that #
oh I saw her in Agony that Agony was er #
problem pages wasn't it ? #
are you as hard as Matthew Dr er Richard #
she let's him does she ? #
is he ? , oh he seems to be out driving a lot now #
the roads were bad this morning you haven't driven in frost have ya ? #
icy roads ? #
oh well you've got to be very careful #
did you , did you ever get a predicted grade for German ? #
oh #
didn't they tell you ?who's doing German with you ? #
just the two of ya ? #
drunk ? , what time ? #
that's early #
what erm , what times the last bus now ? #
its round about ten to eleven , in't it love , last bus usually ? #
mm no sort out of town , from town #
and you can't get another bus after that #
no , once they take you to your places that's it they don't take passengers back to town , they finish there #
who wants to go back in town at half past eleven at night ? #
mm , not usually #
they take you home and that's it , they don't pick up passengers to go back , they've gotta go back to the depot then #
yeah that's right , I meant to ask you , do the tills ever not balance at the Co-Op ? #
you never get to here then ? #
what ? #
was it ? #
good gracious #
yeah remember that girl when she did ours , ours wrong ? #
yeah what did she do wrong that girl ? #
she multiplied it , yeah #
no #
yeah but #
ooh yes #
yes #
are all your friends out from their universities yet ? #
cos they haven't all #
do they usually take a long while #
would you like a Cadbury's cream egg ? #
would you ? #
right I'll have my egg then #
do you want some of that ? , here #
Robert very cold #
with that door open , I would like you to shut it please #
draft up my trouser leg #
did any body ring while I was out ? #
Taggart's on tonight #
no Morse is on tonight #
there's not #
put it out then #
that's it , good #
lovely , you've put it out #
you've not eat your cheese slices sandwich #
saw Susan and her boyfriend in Alder weeks ago #
yeah #
well , what's he do ? , is he a plumber ? #
Geoffrey said he's a policeman #
I don't think you'd have hair that long and be a policeman Geoffrey gets the wrong end of the stick unfortunately doesn't he ? , eat this cheese slice if there's any #
mm , not bad are you gonna get erm a pair of trousers then from Mark's ? #
what sort d'ya want ? #
do you need some more jeans ? #
don't you like black jeans ? #
yeah #
I like the black ones #
no thanks #
no #
don't pick it off then , you'll spoil it , grandma bought him that booty bag #
cos your not impressed are you ? #
don't you like , your socks are wet , where's he been ? #
oh you've been in the wa in the Ribena #
look what you , go and put your slippers on #
there's that piece of bread you left look #
these are lovely Dave #
mm , no #
think National win today then ? #
yeah , but they're on a real roll at the moment aren't they ? #
mm #
they did well to beat Notts County didn't they ? #
huh , didn't mean to #
have you had the last cherry bakewell ? , he has the last cherry bakewell #
deprived his father of the last cherry bakewell #
you had the cherry , oh well he did share it with you didn't he ?never mind #
did you want a jumper from that shop ? #
no , why ? #
don't you want another one ? #
those lilac one was nice #
I know , but you could have a , yes but you could have a jumper to go with the trousers , lilac's nice #
how much money have you got ? #
two pound fifty , no that isn't enough Martin #
well do you want to go down and have a look ? #
I'll take you #
what time you gotta be at work ? #
its only twenty tw #
why ? #
yeah but your not gonna have time next week #
yes but its , there's a sale on #
yes , but your going to need 'em jumpers aren't you ? , when your at college , gotta think ahead #
not that many #
yeah I know #
a lot of yours are sweat shirts #
yes , but there's a lovely lilac one #
yeah , there won't be no jumpers left next week #
I'll take you this afternoon #
Robert , I don't like your cold foot in my face poo see if your feet smell , oh that's clev , see Martin smell his feet #
when did you last have a bath , four or five weeks ago ? #
let's have a look at your nose #
is that better now ? , can you breath better ? , that's got a great lump out your nose #
you've got a lump ? , you just got one , aagh where'd you get that from ? #
we had to take the monkey shopping , didn't we take the monkey shopping ? #
no we went to Aldy and we went and we went #
Co-Op and then we went , we didn't take the monkey in the Co-Op did we ? , why ? #
no they'll think that you've nicked one from the Co-Op won't they ? #
when your a fly ? #
oh #
Mr , O'Neil #
the bloke with the blonde hair and the long hair and the glasses #
erm , now what women were on ? erm #
there seems to be more men than women eat your bakewell tart then #
you never heard any thing about that golf tournament that you won , have you ? #
I would of thought it was the end of the season #
how'd ya know ? #
yeah , but you don't play in the winter much any way do you ? #
yeah , well you've never had any thing from Scraptof have ya ? #
what ? #
yeah , no #
well aren't you on a waiting list ? #
how long's the waiting list then ? #
yeah #
nominate you #
does Richard play golf there as well ? #
are they ?the siamese twins #
joined at the hip #
you can't go out with no socks on can you ? , what's that ? , ee where you getting all this from ? , hang on let's get a tissue , I'm glad its coming out though because its been up your nose for a week you've been breathing #
that's right you just , you get them out , that's the boy #
come here let's have a no , a nose blow , look at the face #
blow , hard , trouble is you blow and nothing comes out the area oh that's good , do that again like that that's it #
Martin's speaking to you #
well get yourself some socks #
get some socks there in the second drawer , second there #
you got some ? #
right we'll put them on you then he wants to come out with you dad #
wait for the bloke , you can put your wellie boots on #
wellies cos its muddy out and we don't want the dirt all every where #
no not your stumping shoes #
not your stumping shoes , there are then , where's your hat and all , all that #
do you like wagon wheels ? #
no #
I don't like the marsh mallow in that #
oh I like the biscuit I don't like the marsh mallow #
the marsh mallow is revolting I don't like that #
oh look here he comes with his woggy boots #
wellington boots and how is our #
ooh look at these , good job you've got these for the dirt #
do you remember the , what's , what's a clag ? #
oh right #
remember #
do you remember you little wellies ? #
that you used to where when you were a little boy ? , can you remember what colour they were ? #
they were red #
no that's the only colour you could buy , they were red from , from er Mothercare #
fudge , milky bar and a crunchie #
what ? , where is it ? #
right I dunno what you've done with your hat , have you seen his hat any where ? #
what ? #
where's your hat though dear #
see if you can find his hat any where Martin #
a little beige one with all the colours #
that one's yours actually #
can you pass it please ? #
no he's not #
he says he's Martin's being horrible #
he's not , he's not being horrible #
say thank you Martin #
say love you Martin #
what's he say ? #
creeping gets you every where there you go #
bye , bye #
oh he loves little spotty dog isn't it ?wouldn't you like to be a nursery school teacher Martin ? #
your good with children #
you only need to be a nursery nurse #
tis really , you don't see any male teachers #
teaching #
nursery children , you don't know do ya ? #
cos they're still a bit clingy and they need #
toilet training and , well not toilet training but reminding to go to the toilet , look at his hat did you read in the paper that George Best has had to spend half of his testimonial money on debts #
his testimonial money #
money on debts , that's terrible in't it ? #
he's really ruined his life #
through drink he could of been a really brilliant football player he could of made a lot of money and #
well he was and he could of had a secure future #
yeah till he sconded it all on gambolling I don't know what people see in gambolling do you ?its like Willie Thorne #
well I mean he's lost every thing hasn't he ? #
even his wife's left him #
no I'm just saying #
didn't say #
didn't say I didn't like him , just said that his wife had left him #
mm , Ray Reardon's the one she doesn't like #
cos he was Welsh #
then he left his wife #
yeah #
is it a repeat ? #
he's good Michael Jack #
erm Caine #
who was Jack The Ripper ? , he weren't was he ? #
was he the policeman ? #
mm #
he's not doing so well now is he ? , he used to , he's not won a high ranking tournament since nineteen eighty nine #
oh blame it on that #
well why do you think that is then ? #
and that's not right ? #
like vegetarians #
eh , its a free country and you should be able to choose what you want to do yourself er , if something is damaging to your health then I would agree , yes , smoking I don't agree with smoking but if people want to smoke that's entirely up to them , they know the risks , I wouldn't smoke , I know the risks but vegetarianism is purely a matter of choice and there's no peop people that harp on about you shouldn't eat meat , get on my nerves #
They're hypocrites any way #
they liked to be seen to go to church #
no they just like , think that it looks good because they are being seen to go to church #
that's right , that's right #
she is the biggest #
and the biggest erm , what's the word I'm looking for ? #
rough , she's a bit of rough she is , she is , she is not high class is she ? #
she really isn't she , she doesn't tow the line , does she ?she doesn't tow the line to be er accepted in the royal family #
there's nothing wrong with that though #
I think that's good #
yeah , she maybe does , but I think she's trying to , to try and promote the fact that aids patients are harmless , because a lot of aids patients are very isolated , people don't want to know them , they think you can catch it through shaking hands , drinking out the same cup and all that , and I think she's trying to prove that look I'm alright , so should you be , but she does go a bit over the top #
said , definitely got #
yeah but its better than going off skiing all the while and taking your spotty chicken pox children with you #
I think that's disgusting going abroad taking chi , a child that's got chicken pox abroad and the other one she could be incubating the disease any way I bet you any mo money she comes down with it as well #
yeah , one's Geoff's #
I bet she comes down with chicken pox hog Eugene #
Eugene #
William's alright that's the best out of them #
but Henry is the , why call him Henry then call him Harry ? #
what's the point in that ? #
yeah , so why do they call him Harry all the time , Harry for a boy , that's awful I mean a lot of the old names , we talked about the other day , a lot of the old names have come back for children , but I mean I don't think Harry should be #
Gladys won't ever come back for a little girl will it ? #
mm , well , I visit ladies in the nineties and they're called Emma and Alice and Amy and all these names that are being used for children now , but I don't think you'll ever get Fred , Sidney #
Sid #
Sidney and erm Horace , I think Horace won't , can you imagine a little boy being called Horace #
I know #
well I do , its er at Robert's school there's , there are all the names , that's what children are being called now , your age group you won't know them , but then #
all they want that , that was the vogue then #
Dean and Scott all that's right , I can remember when I had you that's all the names that were in fashion , but now it is Joshua #
Joshua's alright , a lot of biblical names #
it adds devalue don't it ? , well why don't you do what you said you were gonna do and have a , a doubled barrel name #
well you wanna do it sooner rather than later you don't want to leave it , you wanna do it sort of , now , so that if you go to college or any thing you can start off with that name #
and be known as #
mm , I think that'll be nice Thomas goes alright doesn't it ? #
I think that's nice Geoffrey couldn't do that #
well he could just say Geoffrey Thomas and , and adopt it , that is his name any way #
he could just me merely stick a hyphen in between it #
that is his name on paper , Geoffrey Thomas , he could call himself Geoffrey Thomas and write it as that couldn't he now ? , if he wanted to what's Mark's middle name ? #
David #
Mark David #
Mark David well it could of been Mark Andrew and then it'd been Mat at least your name , your initials don't spell any thing rude #
do you remember when I told you about that baby on the maternity ward #
no Pauline #
Iris #
Susan , #
fancy calling somebody that , I mean the names in themselves are old fashion names aren't they #
Pauline was awful , well they were all family names #
grandma's and , and that , so , they were all names like that and she hadn't realized that Paula , er Pauline , Irene , Susan spelt , spelt P I S S #
and I said to her is that what your going to call your baby and she said yes , so I said well you realize what the initials spell and she went Pauline , oh my goodness I didn't know that #
she changed them round Paula , Pauline , Susan , Iris #
household name , cooker #
yeah #
Steve table and chairs , huh #
oh look at his smile it sad #
what's all this joking about Essex boys ? , every where you read in the paper its Essex gir Ess why does an Essex girl #
are they ? #
mm #
mm , mm #
mm why suddenly Essex though ? #
Grantham supposed to be the most boring place in Britain isn't it ? #
cos hasn't Grantham got the reputation of being the most boring town in Britain ? #
I remember when I started my training I work with this girl and I said where'd you come from and she said I come from the most boring town in Britain , I says where Grantham ? , she says yeah , I says is it boring , she says yeah huh , it is #
what's dull about it ? #
every body always says that about the night life , I don't know why #
was but , what you expecting that , obviously isn't called for a lot of night life , otherwise it would be there , there's been discotheque , they've been all sorts of things , but they've closed down because they haven't made enough money #
so there obviously isn't the need and the demand that people think #
mm #
but is it #
cor , but its so expensive these night life places , I mean they charge the earth for drinks and that don't they ? #
is Crystals any good ? #
its good ? #
well that's how these places are any way , all you do , disco's and that are always the same , you got women dancing round their handbags , Tracy and Stacy and all those #
do they still dance round their handbags ? #
no what do they do with their handbags ? #
oh right , and you get all the blokes standing round the bar with a pint in their hand , eyeing up the woman , looking for which one they're gonna move in on don't ya ? #
huh #

oh , oh dear , I hope not #
I mean its always been like that but #
mm , doesn't Steven Henry look young ? #
and how old is he ? #
mm #
mm I wonder if Steve Davis , is this the quarter final ? , or is it the final ? #
the final oh , I wonder how he'll do #
I bet his wife said come on , get the money in mate #
get the cash in #
mm #
oh that's funny that one , I've seen that before #
there's a story here in the paper , I don't know whether you've read it about a little boy , ten weeks old and he's been born with all his organs on the wrong side of his body #
he's got his heart on the right instead of his left , the liver on the left instead of the right , the appendix on the left instead of the right and other internal organs possibly #
res reversed , where every thing is the wrong way round , so its alright really in it ? #
I wouldn't of thought so #
says here he should be expected to lead a perfectly normal life #
ooh , oh that is the worse , that is so bad , that's horrible isn't it ? , you really feel that when's that on then ? #
oh I must watch it #
No , nothing #
yeah #
yeah women #
yeah #
yes #
it was good , I like Morse anyway #
I know , I like all the police ones #
it's Poirot tonight #
well that was er what you saw on #
yeah , true #
you'll just have to pretend it , it's not him #
close your eyes every time he comes on #
do you like swede ? #
mm #
do you like bakewell tart ? #
no I don't mean the iced one that you buy #
the one I make , I made it once and you liked it with the almonds on top #
oh , I just thought I'd have some thing different #
no #
its not what you'd like , it's what I've got the ingredients for #
well you like it with custard don't ya ? it's not got icing on #
pastry , jam , sponge #
with nuts on the top , I made it once #
can you crack some nuts for me ? #
look these they're almonds #
you know there those hard #
yeah #
oh #
a key ? #
yeah #
walnuts never if you crack them along the seam they never come out whole , you always break into the nut #
it's a shame #
alright you can crack these almonds then , use up the Christmas nuts , now then they're ever so hard almonds are #

oh , just put them in a , a dish #
you know what the almonds are don't ya ? those #
just checking #
pop's gone today #
he's fish #
now I've got to find the recipe for bakewell tart #
mm #
ah #
ah #
cracks it mm #
here you are that's it look #
looks nice doesn't it ? #
you have to say nice cos you've got a knife in your back #
right move that out there it's , it's Sheeba and Ted #
Sheeba and Ted #
yeah cos I want to put them on top #
no that serves you right , shame in it ? #
I know right I've gotta make some pastry #
nobody's ate them , whose fault's that ? #
where did you go last night then ? #
the White Hart #
oh that's what I meant the Golden Fleece #
nice int it they do meals there #
supposed to be nice , I think I've had a meal there years ago #
does Richard drink much ? #
who was driving last night ? #
what was he having then ? #
good , very sensible #
please to hear it I'm sure his dad would be fuming if he did drink and drive #
oh with his dad's own breathalysing kit at home #
checks him when he gets in the door #
yeah #
mm #
well does he do like the , the blood test the breathalysers and all that ? #
that's what I mean just the blood tests ? #
he would get called at #
mm still it's all good money int it ? , must be on better money now than he was as a #
an ordinary G P , otherwise I don't think he would of given it up #
no #
where did they live before then ? #
oh that's real naff up there #
the what ? #
oh #
so you before then ? #
how surprising #
I know it is , it's lovely isn't it ? #
mm , who was telling me that somebody's four year old son has got a video and television in his bedroom his own video #
I forget now #
they were saying how spoilt children are today and how , erm I think it was Anne who was telling me and I said it , that is just ridiculous isn't it ? for a four year old to have their own video #
I know there ever so hard the shells you know Robert says he's going to have some dinner today #
yes I've heard it before as well he said he wants some pork and potatoes #
yeah , that's what we got #
it doesn't matter #
oh right #
what ? #
where is it ? oh yeah #
I wonder if flaked almond is toasted or something #
have er , oh well I'll just have to put them in the oven they'll go brown under the oven won't they ? #
oh Geoffrey watched Marathon Man last night #
no he didn't , but I could hear him saying oh no absolutely wicked , oh absolutely , murderous , oh god , eh man , drilling his teeth , ow no that's horrible though that film #
isn't it ? #
is it safe ? , yes its safe , its very safe , is it safe ? , no its not safe , every thing he said it still carried on asking him the questions didn't they ? , terrible #
jolly good , oh that's it #
oh no I hope you're not getting the Chinese flu #
oh that's what's on the way from America isn't it ? #
it's , well its reached England it's not epidemic proportions yet #
it's gotta be a hundred in , hundred in a hundred thousand to be an epidemic , at the moment it's twenty two #
before Christmas it was nine , so it's trebled , trebled #
oh yeah , it said trebled on the news #
a good programme on last night it was about B B C #
in the fifties when it first started and how #
eh ?yeah they are shrivelled up little nuts , there was this programme last night about the B B C when it first started in the nineteen fifties #
oh well whatever , no it wasn't , they were on about the B B C #
yeah okay well it was all about B B C cos it was saying how stuffy the B B C was and how erm #
the Beverley sisters were on and they said they used to wear very daring clothes and the B B C banned them from showing their navels , cos you're not supposed to show your navel on television and you couldn't say the word , oh yeah Lonnie Donegan was on and he said that he was banned from singing this song er in eighty forty was such a little drip and in it he says we beat the bloody British and they wouldn't let him sing that because he swore so he had to sing we beat the ruddy British #
and they were say and then he and at the end they all sang , there was Joe Brown , Lonnie Donegan , Bert Weedon , all the old nineteen fifties stars , Hank Marvin and all that and they were all singing and he sang that song with bloody in it #
no so it was saying how times have changed , but they used to be very , very stuck up and it showed some of the early programmes and how people used to talk , oh so frightfully posh and so frightfully gorgeous and the words , and , it's rather pleasant isn't it , really rather nice #
think we used to talk like that , what happened ? #
I mean whenever you see old films #
this and every things in and the Americans always portray the British as being oh jolly , stiff upper lip , don't they ? #
god only knows why #
said in the paper today that Michael Barrymore mother is very concerned about him because he's lost a lot of weight #
and it says there's been tales in the paper about him , I ain't read any #
that's what there reckoning he's got AIDS , is that what there saying ? #
he looks terrible actually I said to Dave the other week I said ain't he lost weight , look at his face , he's so thin #
he was on last night , now that's quite a good programme #
it's not Strike It Lucky , I can't stand that #
yeah , that's good , he gets people out the audience and he goes out and about and sort of meets people with talent and gets them to do singing and that #
no , he's good it was funny there was some can can dancers on at the end and there were sort of ladies in their sixties and he joined them #
he's got such long rubber legs hasn't he , he looked ridiculous , but he aint 'arf gone thin , he's really gone thin so , now do I have to bake this blind first #
well #
yeah , no you put it in the , yes bake blind in the oven at two hundred degrees , two hundred , mark six #
well the best thing to do for Martin is get a , a #
a packet of Bisto gravy granules #
and you just , yeah that's right just get a woman in , er Bisto gravy granules and you just have , oops hot water and then that's it simple #
it's alright , it's quite easy #
right bake that blind for ten minutes #
well if you got pastry right , and you have to put a sponge on top like this is , it would go soggy , it wouldn't go hard would it ? , so if you bake it blind you're baking pastry on its without anything on #
this one's actually plum jam , but I will use a substitution #
er right , I've got to make the sponge now , done that #
almond flavouring , have I got any ? just mind your head a minute while I open the cupboard , don't know #
that's a point I could always grind some nuts up , with any luck , chocolate , colouring red food colouring #
yeah #
yeah , peppermint flavouring , artificial cochineal , green food colouring #
I know , cockroach's insect , I don't use those cos they say colours make children go hyperactive , used to stop using them when we had Geoffrey , cos he always used to go berserk #
so I'll have to grind some , almond flavouring right , self raising flour #
I'll bung the kettle on #
that's what Phyllis says #
oh you begger nurse Lynn ,and I go in , oh we do get in some pickles nurse Lynn , oh you begger #
you're doing well , four ounces of flour #
yes #
pub crawl eh , Rose and Crown oh yeah , what's down there ? #
oh yeah #
mm #
what's his name ? #
was he good at darts as well ? #
yes #
I was watching snooker last night #
dunno what the score , did he ? #
did he ? #
I didn't think he would #
oh close then er it's Davis said absolutely stupid thing he really did #
yeah , I couldn't believe it I mean you go back five years he'd never done things like that , he erm , missed the most easiest reds and left it right over the pocket and then Stephen Hendry went on and cleared up the whole frame , got a break of over a hundred #
mm , that was typical mind you I think he needed this win to boost his confidence cos he's not been doing at all well has he lately ? #
I want to use this , I can't believe its not butter butter #
it doesn't matter , butter keeps in the fridge #
she has to taste it first #
you still got a stiff neck ? #
I think you ought to go to the doctor's about that #
well have a stiff neck #
oh I never understand it #
coming on well #
look at that cat can't you tell it's Sunday #
it's always in the kitchen when it's Sunday , see if she can get in the oven quick , if she had a pair of oven gloves , she'd get the meat out herself #
why ? #
I know I give it to you , so time consuming #
oh #
it doesn't matter because I can put them in the sponge #
what have I got to put which is very urgh , butter , no , sugar , one egg separated plus one egg yoke , how ridiculous what have I got to do there ? er , whisk the butter and sugar until followed by #
where have I put me eggs ? #
you're not playing golf #
now what's that , one egg plus an egg yoke right #
Stephanie likes cooking #
don't you like cooking at all ? #
oh that was terrible , mm #
oh it does #
why you don't want to be put off , gosh the number of things I've done that have not turned out #
well it never cooks properly does it ? #
is that the cat meowing then ?tough luck if you want to go out , right so I've got this , butter , sugar , flour eggs , salt , lemon juice , I haven't got any #
no , well you can do some later , I thought I had a bottle of lemon juice in the fridge , not the fridge Robert loves Cadbury's cream eggs #
last night , yesterday he had one and he said can I have another cream egg , so I said alright , cos there was a box of six , which means he's had two out the six , he said to me this morning , got any more cream eggs so I said not for you , you've got one for Martin , so I said yes , I'll have his then #
he did , I'll have his then , I said no you won't , but I like them , I know , but you can't have Martin's , as Martin will cry , I buy him another one he's absolutely mad on cream eggs , you never liked them when you were at his age , you don't really like them much now do ya ? #
when you look at the waste , a big bowl of waste and a couple of nuts , never mind . #
don't swear , ooh you're doing well , if I get some of these bits , if I get the whole ones and the big pieces they can go on the top and that #
the little bits I shall crush #
greasy ? well nuts are there oily aren't they ? right I've got to crush these in with this stuff #
leave them there I'm gonna use them for the top #
no I don't want a Christmas cracker I think #
now then #
oh that'll be good #
you not got a driving lesson this week then ? #
did he teach you what did he teach you ? mirrors last week #
go out what ? #
so what's left ? #
oh right do you think Richard's a good driver ? #
but , don't forget even when you've passed your test , your test you're still learning , you still make mistakes and still do things wrong I mean I do even now it's not what you do wrong it's how you get out of it , isn't it ? #
as long as you can get out of it . #
right I'll , last week I was in the surgery one day to help Sue and she had #
to do an E C G on this man , well I hadn't done one for quite a while and I'd forgot really , not forgot what to do but I'm not very familiar with the E C G machines because it's a new electronic machine and its #
an electro cardiograph , it's a tracing of the electrical il impulses from the heart given off by the heart and this chap came in he'd never had one before and he was nervous anyway , so I'm trying to put him at his ease and I , I put , you have to put like a rubber band round their arms and legs and attach erm electrodes to them , you don't feel anything , you're only measuring the electrical impulses given off by the heart #
so I've got him all wound , all er geared up for this E C G #
I hadn't switched the machine on #
and I was er , I try and switch the machine on it wouldn't come on , I thought what's going on here , so I said to Sue , can't switch the machine on Sue what's going on here ? , anyway , apparently the power supply to the machine was a bit dicky , the #
what ? #
no , that's a bad one , the er power supply to the machine , the lead it was , there was a break in the circuit and it kept going on and off , so actually I was switching it on right , it just wasn't coming on , so she says oh use it by the battery cos its battery as well as electric #
alright just shut up a minute , I'm talking to ya , so she said afterwards oh I says that was good weren't it couldn't even switch the machine on and she said it doesn't matter does it , she said it's not what happens its the way you deal with it , and I made a joke of it and I said to him oh this is good in't it ? relax you're in safe hands I can't even switch the machine on , but anyway I did it in the end and he was alright , and he said thank you very much , that was , you were very good , you were very kind , cos it is frightening and one thing I said to him don't hold your breath , because people think when their having an E C G they've gotta hold their breath for some reason , just lie there take a deep breath and don't breathe again but you've never had one so you wouldn't no , I'm just going to mix this up #
oh good #
see them #
used to , sometimes get double yoke eggs #
I've not seen a double yoke egg for a long , long time , I don't know why , but sometimes you used to get a box of six and nearly all of them would be double yoke for some reason , don't ask me why , I don't know , where's your cup ? , did you bring it in ? #
which one did you have ? #
what's it there ? #
I've put it I think I've put it in the dishwasher #
I know it was like that when we had it , well all these mugs that you get from the petrol station are all seconds any way #
yeah they're all the , they must sell them , the perfect ones and the second ones they sort of er petrol station cos they've all got slight faults on them . #
getting warm in here isn't it ? #
oh they're good #
is that all the w all the erm almonds out of both packs ? #
oh excellent , oh that's fine #
I like that advertisement on the television this woman in America #
that cracks the walnuts in her hand I'd like to see somebody do that #
that's it and over to you , crunch , I don't know how she does it , got muscles like Samson #
no erm blackcurrant or apricot ? #
blackcurrant I love these jars with the fruity lids don't you ? , good aren't they ? #
god , right blackcurrant jam , what's the time , it's five to one #
that clock's a bit fast then plenty of jam , don't like to skimp , haven't seen grandma , haven't heard from grandma today #
I think that should have been Plymouth , I thought Plymouth were high on the league , they're not , they're near bottom #
oh didn't know that #
oh they're on a winning er #
Plymouth have ? #
oh at least they've broke that run haven't they ? #
why's that then ? #
think because of the travelling #
what matches have they got left ? , are they in with a chance of promotion ? #
have they got hard matches left or #
well , I was disappointed when it showed the league table they weren't even in the top six , but they're seventh , huh but there's two , two teams above them have played one more game than them , but then #
that's right #
mm but there's only sort of five points that divides all the top seven #
and like the first division there's #
even bigger leaders ain't there ? #
mm . #
What makes it , what makes them improve so , the team makes it the same doesn't it ? #
mm and when you start winning you , it boosts your #
right let's have a look at this banana chocolate thing don't know what's that gonna be like , I've never made that before . #
Could be roast potatoes #
well you've done very well I , I could never crack any of them , so , huh #
it don't matter I'm gonna chop 'em up anyway #
want to slice #
have you read the paper today ? no you haven't didn't #
of course you haven't , what was I going to say , the er , that Marquis of Blandford is it ? #
yeah , his wife posed in a sexy picture in her underwear #
stockings and suspender belt and the Marquis of Blandford's father has called her a , a slutty little something or other #
which is quite rich coming from him , considering his son's been in prison I don't think #
right , thank you , very well done #
Some clothes on her makes her look like a right podgy country maiden don't it ? #
well she does , she's got a fat face #
mm #
I know , I know they did , one was an own goal #
but then if you read the report of the match it said they could have won by more than that , they did all playing they were just unlucky , but he's pleased with the result #
now , then got to chop these nuts up now #
yeah , who they playing next week then ? #
by one #
but er they're playing at home #
so that's an advantage int it ? #
mm #
huh #
good lord #
oh dear #
why what did he do ? #
good lord #
see that pigeon #
mm , she does , no she's got doves , keeps doves and animals and birds like that doesn't she ? #
got loads of doves #
mm Rory still going out with his girl friend ? #
not so easy as you think getting jobs #
this is where the schools I think are partly to blame , okay , yes they encourage you to do exams which is good but they don't tell you that you're gonna have difficulty getting a job even if you get A levels and all that , they sort of say oh yeah you , you stand a better chance of getting a job , but , its still , its still difficult . #
Sue and I go to this cafe , I told you at Newtown didn't I ? #
Sue and I #
yeah , and there's just a little tea room and they sell , lunches at dinner time and teas in the afternoon , right opposite Bradgate's Park #
yeah and the girls that serve in there , there's three girls that serve in there , one works in the kitchen actually helping with the food , but the other two serve at the tables , they've all got A levels but they can't get jobs #
look at this it looks pretty good doesn't it ? #
now I've got to make this top for this banana and chocolate cake #
chocolate something or other #
oh when I've finished doing this I might Has Matthew decided what he's going to do ? has he applied for university ? #
what university or college ? #
oh right , what's he want to do ? #
mm , yes , that's alright isn't it , he should do that shouldn't he ? is he quite bright ? #
marketing what's he want to do then ? #
well what do you want to do ? #
mm #
mm any ideas have you got about a job you'd like to do ? #
oh yes but that's gonna be very difficult Martin #
job like that #
mm I know #
I know , but you've got to sort of set your sights realistically haven't you ? and there's a lot #
of people unemployed and what are you going to do when you eventually leave college if you get there ? #
you're not gonna step straight into television #
mm #
right then , let's see now what we're doing , where's that recipe book for that chocolate and banana cake ? chocolate and banana cake which book was it ? #
oh right oh some of these chocolate cakes are absolutely mm , mm #
mm right what's #
the topping ? what's that icing sugar ? #
cocoa powder and vanilla essence oh luckily I've got all those , I think , yes #
I don't like cream caramel it taste burnt #
oh that looks like #
oh I like the ones you buy , but I , my mother used to make one every Sunday and it tasted horrible , tasted eggy #
what #
eggs in custard what's that ? #
custard ? #
poached eggs in custard ? #
I've never heard of it #
sounds terrible #
savoury or sweet ? #
oh #
did he like it ? #
he's doing cooking isn't he ? #
can't do , oh that's good #
what is it ? #
oh death trap #
that #
go on #
it's a bloke #

what sit down with his flies undone ? #
yeah #
court ? #

her strap has fell down #
I know #
ripped his trousers #
oh no #
I know #

eh that looks like Foxton #
oh goodness no #
he's black #
oh look at the black oh dear #
that's never gonna work #

sensible that is sensible #
yeah , looks like he's fell in half a dozen times #
oh dear #
yeah #
look , look , look , oh well #
oh this is amazing #
got his head ducked in , oh that was funny that one #
well tried oh dear #
is it easy to do that ? #
must have a , a point on the end of it the cloth #
oh dear , they're , they're better than caught in the act aren't they ? they're quite #
they weren't laughable were they ? #
yeah , but they weren't funny as this lot . #
Yeah , where they hang out then #
oh #
yeah #
oh , don't have much luck with that van does he ? #
mm if he had it serviced regularly would it stop it do you think ? , still have to have the work done ? #
that's a big job as well #
good lord #
fancy doing that #
changing yourself from #
an English to oriental #
slitty eye #
Prince , Prince Philip's son if he stayed here #
if he stayed here long enough he'll tu he'll be slitty eyed #
mm ? #
yeah but that's #
is that what er Prince Andrew said #
no he never said that #
oh I've not heard that #
so what you doing on it's had to see granddad , Pat's coming to pick you up ? #
what's special chicken ? #
Martin's not smiling he doesn't like the idea #
your hectic social diary #
er are let's look #
he's gone , he's gone #
gone without him #
oh dear #
don't do that with your toenails , I'm glad he's not interviewing people it's better ain't it ? #
oh no #
men at work #
oh no #
that weren't concreted then was it ? #
oh oh #
oh no #
oh yes oh #
you were funny with that wheelbarrow out the front , out the back here this afternoon #
you #
oh you devil #

come in #
my daughter #
yeah pounds for it #
he has got a short hand , look at all his fingers they look like they've all been trimmed off #
oh the wedding #
oops she's lost her hat #
oh oh my good God #
oh no #
oh he's got some cheek #
oh #
just die #

oh God #
these are good #

oh dear , oh dear lord #
oh fancy losing your skirt like that #
shut up , with the skirt on , let that be a lesson to you always wear an underskirt #
don't forget to go out with ya #
he's not gonna fall in the fridge is he ?oh God #

oh dear #
oh super #
really thought #
oh #
absolutely awful oh that's nice #
yeah that shop's highly delighted I love those wedding ones coming out that church #
da , da , da , da , da , da oh , oh #
oh he's lost the end of his trombone oh what's on fire on fire #
some will ask them out #
oh you devil , what a long drop #
Muffin the mule oh #
gosh #
oh #
oh dear #
oh dear #
I still like those wedding ones , with them coming out the church flying #
oh God #
terrible #

oh isn't that awful ? #
ah #
it's not funny , it's clever though int it ? #
he's not won anything #
no why's he gonna get it ? #
perhaps Eileen will give him some #
yeah , a free ice cream #
cor what's that shot #
oh #
oh there's still #
oh look ain't that , that same bird #
I thought she was a #
I can't believe how safe #
he's still asleep no #
no , have you seen how many calories in a #
have you had your creme egg yet Martin ? #
get Martin's otherwise Bobby I'll eat it #
if you don't have your creme egg Bobby I'll pinch it #
no I don't want it thank you #
you'll slide into bed tonight #
we've got the lovely array of mugs , I've got to say #
Postman Pat , Garfield Turtles , Paddington Bear #
or erm #
have you put our electric water on ? #
is it very foggy out ? , have a look at the fog Martin , see if it's #
fogerific #
what other word do they use to say ? #
fogadabadogulous and you used to say oh yes they're having #
another birthday you #
that was really good that #
don't you just love those creme eggs ? #
I do not #
when I was a child they were much bigger than that #
now you can stick a whole one in your mouth and eat it in one go , can't you Martin ? , yes Martin it is it that you did #
rammed it in all in one #
show me then , I think I'm gonna have to throw those chocolate cakes away #
eh ? , why ? , don't know what sort they're like , those #
they just didn't , they just didn't rise , they #
oh there's jelly in the fridge #
I forgot about the jelly #
what you mean too hard ? #
so I'll leave it out and it'll melt , Bobby and I #
oh it's terrible #
jelly #
jelly is when it goes #
out the dish #
can you eat it like that mother ? , his mother said you just tip it out , like a liquid , like a bottle of milk you're always on #
you're always hungry , have you got a tapeworm ?let's have a look at your belly , it'll pop , what a pop belly you've got #
Bobby thinks he's fat , he's obsessed with being fat he keeps saying I'm too fat , I'm too fat #
he has got a bit of a belly on him actually #
he ate nearly all those chips tonight , didn't he ? #
I want chips he said , I said do ya ? and then he said yes #
go and have a look in the fridge #
yes #
he ate most of those chips #
well you've had half a dozen oranges , I shouldn't have any more , you'll go to the toilet all the night #
, who's Patrick ? #
which one was , oh goggle eyes Patrick , yeah where , where's he now ? #
oh Ackman Avenue oh yeah , that's right #
what Globals goods store ? #
oh God #
what's the cat's tongue like ? #
no that's , when you make #
the cat's tongue , you feel the cat's tongue , what you've got there #
Robert likes , Robert likes that #
he says he , I'll have a cheese sandwich #
stop it now , stop it , ooh what's that ? #
what's this #
it's not one of those #
London's Burning's on , I like that #
yeah #
his face is gullible #
you don't wanna do that , you'll get a clip round the ear'ole #
yeah I know #
no , well I saw some of it , but it was a repeat wasn't it ? #
it was about as funny as toothache #
what time was it ? , twenty five to ten #
well this looks a load of rubbish , what's on the other side ? #
there must be a pony #
yeah no its twenty five to ten though , still got Poirot on the other side #
does he always end up with a summing in , summing up ? #
put the summing up of Poirot on #
what Women in Wales ? #
no #
what's interesting about that ? #
no #
didn't it used to be really popular , I mean everything you bought was #
what , what ? #
yeah , got a sword in his cupboard haven't you ? #
yeah I can't stand that hairstyle when they shave it off #
here we go look , here we go #
oh #
ah #
oh dear #
what's his name ? #
oh Cafe Hag yes of course it is , Cafe Hag #
was it ? #
oh I didn't know #
oh #
yeah #
yeah #
oh mm #
mm #
mm , yeah #
Slobodan , isn't that terrible #
call him Dan I suppose , but #
I think it's terrible giving him a name like that #
it's not got Vich on the end of it , it's Sloberdan Vich #
she says when you ask her , her name's Miranda , but it's not spelt like that , it's spelt like Mijarna , it's got a J in it , but she says it's Miranda , you know #
she's about , how old is she , twenty six , twenty seven #
no six , seven , no #
well there you are then , yeah she goes to school doesn't she , well I think it's sad I mean giving a child a name like that #
in this country , he's , he's he's not , he's English , he was born in this country #
anyone would think he's #
or where ever #
he's not Yugoslavia is he ? #
right #
get ready to #
but he talks as if he , he was born in that country , I mean I could be really patriotic to Wales #
well I am , I mean I always worry #
to work #
oh he's always going on about it , he's very religious as well , he goes to church and erm well he serves the , serves their Christmas which is January the seventh the Ukrainian Christmas better ring it up , his children in the language don't they ? #
no he does , they talk yeah , he says well , Polish I think #
not Polish still got foreign #

she's so foreign looking though in't she ? #
is she ? #
usually #
you find he's got #
you usually find that people like that are more #
very patriotic to their country of well it's not up there , but #
and they're , and religious #
they usually marry somebody else , usually that #
I thought he was Polish #
her dad's Polish #
yeah Slobodavian #
well how come Joe erm , Ken said he Polish then ? #
yeah #
why #
has he passed his test then ? #
is it first time he's had one ? #
with your driving instructor he'd taught him to do #
yes and you would pay lots of insurance to have one #
so what ? #
don't throw it about though do you ? #
no the clubs can't afford #
I think football's gone through the roof , it's absolutely stupid how much there worth #
it's not , nobody's worth millions like that #
it's just stupid , absolutely stupid #
good #
it showed the Woodentops #
Bill and Ben #
Andy Pandy and Muffin the Mule #
Muffin the Mule #
and Sooty #
Sooty is still on and , and Sooty still appeals to children it's , does Robert like Sooty ? #
you #
you , you wouldn't think that just er glove puppet #
would appeal to children , I mean knowing how sophisticated things are today , it's just a simple glove puppet and yet kids are just as interested in them #
what ? #
Domino #
that looks nice , I might make that tomorrow #
do you want me to make lasagne tomorrow ? #
well I've got the mince out so you're alright I'll do it then #
no #
is #
they were all police things more or less #
quite , don't keep on what's on the news ? , see who's died #
all this fuss about there's a #
it's only a horse #
they got on my nerves them #
where ? #
where ? #
mm , he's got absolutely no chance #
I know , if he comes through the back door and #
I know , but the fire's in the way #
but we left it open #
don't talk about the birds #
did I tell you Margaret daughter had , she , she's bought her a #
eh , she's had burglars ? #
what it doesn't mean it's right does it ? #
no the thing is you go where you can afford the house prices and they are reasonable there #
well #
where my mum and dad live it's not that bad an area yet they were burgled four times and that they get #
somebody up the road was burgled before Christmas #
it doesn't matter where you live #
if they want something they will break in #
Oh right #
I don't like this monkey right by me having #
eat your chips then come on , good boy #
is he ? #
come on eat your tea #
mm ? #
he said eat your tea #
no #
I said eat your tea #
yes I liked a hamburger please #
have what sandwiches ? #
oh I thought Harold was vegetarian #
oh #
she looks like Miss Piggy #
oh he's , he seems to be grown up all of a sudden #
maybe he likes her what ? #
you haven't got a space for it ? #
he hasn't got a space for his chips #
no you #
thank you #
the best one I've ever done I think #
I made it in the meat dish #
square meat dish #
eat some of the chips Robert please #
come and sit down #
you didn't have any , you've had chips #
well you're naughty chicken #
was it nice ? , did you like it ? #
weren't bad #
I didn't know he got two James Bond #
cars , did you ? #
I don't know where they come from #
yes #
oh do you want a piece of fruit cake for afters ? #
do you Dave ?freshly made this afternoon , you want some ? #
pardon #
wasn't #
no it wasn't one of the most popular it was one of the most unusual , it wasn't in the top ten list they made #
why , it's only cos people watch this soap isn't it ? #
mm , there's #
got to put #
away #
me can of #
furniture polish , and I was saying to Martin how , I don't know how our #
come up with the names for their stuff , I mean #
where , where does that come from ?oh when you think about it Pledge , why do they call polish Pledge ? #
so they stowed it with you that you're #
they have people stowed it so they keep it #
mm , only made it Christmas #
oh that's really good #
I should say #
no #
say I want a pound an hour #
was the cake nice ? , don't you want a bit Martin ? #
you full up then ? #
you said you didn't have much #
look at that dog it's got glasses on #
that's very nice #
will she ? #
yeah #
yeah #
have you got parents' evening this term Geoff ? #
goodness me #
you've not stopped eating #
look , look , look #
mm , why , why have you left that crusty bit ? #
oh , give me that I'll have a bit of it thank you #
has it ?what even if she's only met him twice ?two or three times #
why ? #
I know #
and the evidence shows that his wife , mind that cup of tea , is there anything in it ? #
the evidence shows that his wife can't have children so that's obviously why he wants to adopt her , well , claim here #
what about a Bakewell tart I made yesterday #
do you want some Bakewell tart ? #
I've made all these cakes to fill you up #
why ? #
oh , you should've took those Migrolifs #
well you should've taken those Migrolifs because there supposed to be for migraines #
you take the pink one or something #
yeah #
you take the pink one as soon as you get there then then you take another one , I don't know whether it's yellow or blue , there's different coloured ones any way two different types so that's what you want to do #
doing what ? #
mm #
what for ? #
mind you don't fall over that #
digger , huh #
mm #
mm , who does it belong to then the acre of land ? #
oh #
mm #
so where's he fenced it to ? #
yeah #
mm #
oh yeah #
oh it's going down #
mm #
mm #
oh dear #
how old is he ? #
oh God #
I know that #
has he ? #
yeah , gosh oh dear #
careful Robert #
mm oh #
he looks younger with his without his beard and all that on it #
no #
still with his mother #
oh dear #
Rose's dad made him redundant #
have they ? #
have they ? #
have they ? , #
I didn't know #
mind you I #
her dad must be #
nearly seventy #
how do know #
oh dear the chips #
Her dad must be getting on for seventy she looks as though #
no we're having Home and Away first #
oh when's this tonight ? , oh great Jack the Ripper tonight #
who ? , what ? #
no , that's on on Fridays #
Fridays are you hot ? #
do you want your jumper off ? #
like Rose's dad's #
closing up #
no after Home and Away #
after Home and Away #
mm , how long ago did he finish then ? #
mm #
yeah you were playing with it weren't you ? #
no you can't play on the side there cos I put , I put a pan of fat #
go on oh dear #
yeah #
mm #
I didn't know Skoda made motor bikes #
alright #
sixteen ? #
it's cheap #
goodness #
what new ? #
that's cheap #
gosh that is cheap isn't it ? #
mm #
mm #
for a motor bike ? #
I've never seen a motor bike with a trailer #
mm , haven't seen that #
I thought it was a bit unsafe on two wheels #
mm #
mm #
mm #
yeah #
who did ? #
pipe ? #
pies ? #
what you on about pies #
what ? #
that piece , what you on about ? , what you on about ? #
fat #
the fat I cooked your chips in #
that you didn't eat #
Geoffrey can have 'em #
don't wipe your hands on your clothes #
doesn't she wear stupid clothes that Marilyn ? tight things #
why does she wear thick tights ? #
oh #
oh thanks , that looks nice , gorgeous , mm , mm nice #
yes , I've drunk it now thank you #
oh you're joking #
we're not #
exactly #
yeah well does he want to check with #
in America then #
oh yeah #
mm , that's gonna be his problem , he'll have to put 'em in kennels , no I wouldn't mind one , but not both #
I wouldn't mind one #
Dave , I wouldn't mind one , but not both #
that's it they sleep outside don't they ? #
why ? #
they're not gonna hurt ya , I'm not having 'em anyway #
yeah they do smell don't they those dogs #
they they always smell #
doggy smell #
I don't like smelly dogs #
oh no #
show your aunty your drink #
well that #
we're not having it , I don't want a dog #
they have a lot of exercise #
yeah , they need walking about three times a day don't they ? #
I don't want it #
I don't want it #
I didn't , I said I wouldn't mind having one but I #
yeah but he wants somebody to have both #
mm he's gonna have a prob , I wonder why his neighbours won't #
are they definitely going to #
have they booked it or anything ? #
mm but if he goes , he's going for the month ? #
good lord that's cheap , two hundred and eighty nine pound ? #
two ninety nine , the #
mm , motor hotels is it ? #
good lord , that is cheap in't it ? #
what's the weather like in America now ? #
mm , not a bad thing #
stop it you two #
can you ? , can you ? , how do you swim then ? , show me #
why ? #
mm ? #
That character Carly is always arguing #
yeah , but she's always arguing with everybody oh right , thank you #
oh yeah crack #
oh I'm glad Jack the Ripper's on tonight I like that #
it is isn't it ? #
yeah #
that's to pick up salad #
mm #
some people like the outdoor life #
listen some people like the outdoor life and it #
yes and listen they might #
yeah they might that #
yes they might #
and sleeping rough in the rain and the snow some people #
gun , where's he got a gun from ? #
a what gun ? #
oh #
oh you're clever at these things aren't ya ? #
oh right #
what is it ? , it's a quarter pounder int it ? #
I can get to a chicken burger , oh you're lovely with this #
no #
I will #
got to get a cheque book #
well I'm at the end of it #
no I've not , I've not #
no #
yeah Wrigley's spearmint gum , yeah , strange int it ? #
I'm not surprised #
how much a brick ? , twenty pound #
I think it's a good idea to buy a brick , it's too dear #
yeah #
I know , but it's too dear , I looked at that and thought it would be nice to have your name on a brick , but to me twenty pound , if they made it cheaper more people would buy it wouldn't they ? , what building is it ? #
perhaps reduce it , if you put a fiver a brick loads of people will probably take 'em up on it , business might , but twenty pounds for a brick #
I went to this man today and he's a real doddery old soul and he's the same age as gran #
doddery old soul #
and he's the same age as granddad , I couldn't believe it and he was saying about well I'm seventy one this year actually younger than my dad and he looks really old and we were #
talking about heights and he said #
and he said about being tall #
and I said #
he was on about how different people #
can be the same inside leg measurement , but different heights , so I said yes that's true , it's all according how long or short you are in the body and I said my son's short in the waist #
but he's got a long inside leg measurement , he says yes I've got a very long inside measur leg measurement , I'm thirty one inside leg and I thought #
I said well my , thirty five , I said my son's thirty five inside leg and he said is he really , then he went on to say his cousin is a wo is a woman cousin , is six foot #
mm but thirty one , he thought that was big thirty one stone , really , twins #
that's quite amazing #
well if they're Siamese twins you'd never get #
you know , this woman that I , goes down the school that talks , who I talked to , she knew from Peterborough and I think she's German , she's got an accent , I'm sure for certain she's German , anyway she's got twins in Robert's class and she was talking to me today and she was telling me her husband moved out to move from Peterborough with his job so I said what does he do ? and she said he's a scientist , so I said oh is he ? , #
I said does he work at the university ? #
so I said does he work at the university ? , she said yes , and he , he lectures and stuff #
so anyway #
I was talking to her and I said do you work ? and she said no I don't and she said my children are I V F children In vitro fertilization , so I said how come ? , how fascinating , she said it wasn't very fascinating I can assure you , she said it took five years to have them , well she put plainly they pioneered it down there didn't they ? #
so er , was it that doctor , Doctor Patrick Steptoe ? , well anyway , yeah , she was one of the first to be on the programme and #
yeah it was Louise Brown same age as Geoff #
but she er #
she was one of the first anyway , so er , but it took a long time before she had them , five years' wait , and she said , that , at the last attempt she said to her husband that's it now , if it doesn't work this time , that's it , I'm not having any more attempts , that's it definitely , and they had that successfully and that's how they had the twins , so they're her children , they are their children , it's just they were fertilized outside the womb , in a glass dish it's fascinating in't it ?she said it's really fascinating I can assure you I said oh I can see #
What do you think with those toms he's really er , he's quite , not articulate #
no it's not , its not articulate #
no , no , what's the #
word you want when somebody's good with their hands ? #
articulate ? , #
I thought that was with speech #
what's with speech then ? #
it's articulate as well #
what did she do ? #
what with the house ? #
yes #
one pound ? #
yes #
right #
yeah #
it's a bit #
what ? #
well they're just gonna dump it then ? #
and re-build it somewhere else ? #
no especially wearing glasses like that they can't knock it down , but they've got to move it , well how they gonna do that then ? #
that'll be a point , taking it down without breaking a brick . #
It don't look very nice there does it ? , look at the sky , it's grey , not sunny is it ?she's got a cracking bust hasn't she ? #
I know , but she's still got a cracking bust that's why How did you get on with your table tennis this afternoon ? #
the salad servers #
have you switched it off now ? #
no you daft devil . #
Robert #
Robert would you like er a Charlie Farley rusk ? #
in a minute #
she said if you started off with cereal porridge or something you could have perhaps two rounds of cheese on toast for your break #
and er , at lunch time just stick #
to your sandwiches and perhaps an apple or an orange instead #
of the twix and the crisps and #
one cal erm coke diet coke and all that , I says and definitely #
huh , I couldn't believe it , I mean he's been that thick and she says how old are you and he says thirty five , when she's gone , when he's gone she said blimey I thought he was forty five didn't ya ? , she said yeah , I said he ain't wearing very well is he ? , then this woman come in and she was , she'd had an operation and one of her stitches hadn't dissolved and she said I have a shower instead of a bath , perhaps that's why and Sue says yes that's why because you need water to dissolve a stitch , so any way she said to her how old are you , she says thirty seven and Sue says #
so I said , she's the same age as me , she said god , she looked much older than you I said yeah I know , I says it cheers you up doing surgery don't it seeing all these people that look terrible for their age , so she says well I though she looked older than me , I says yes she does look older , I don't have , I don't know how old Sue is , I think she's forty , I think she's forty , but this woman she's got long hair #
its all just grey , loads of grey in it and it didn't look streaked , it did look natural . #
Oh Jenny is terrible , Sue and I decided were go to see her today because we had a message that she was in hospital , so we bought her a plant and we were on our way to see today #
Well I made enquiries #
I've got , I've got an appointment at the school on Thursday #
yeah #
mm #
huh , have to got to bed earlier as well , what was I gonna say erm what exams you got on Wednesday ? #
Thursday ? #
what are they ? #
what morning and afternoon ? #
what time does your morning one finish ? #
what time you gotta be back ? #
I'm gonna have a bit of a job getting Rob to school and over , over to #
oh trouble is I don't know any way round the problem of his , his lot at his school #
did he tell you what happened yesterday ? , hang on I'll get it for you #
and all that , then he took no notice of that ,now don't tip them silly , what the bloody hell you doing that for ? , don't be so daft , so any way , then Stuart goes off into the showers and turns the showers on #
comes back and says when the teacher come , the teacher was there this time , urgh the showers are on , Geoffrey switched the showers on and then they all start chanting Geoffrey switched the showers on , Geoffrey switched the showers on and er , loads of them , not just him , a load of them did it , and he , he started to cry , and then that was it then weren't it , ooh tiny tears , tiny tears , ooh poofter , poofter , crying and all that I mean he had a right day with it , so he goes to school this morning in Geography and the every body in the class , the girls and every body were going tiny tears , tiny tears , and he said I just ignored it today he says I just took no notice he says , but they're all going , how's your tears Geoffrey , are we going to cry again today , he says and they were trying to get me to cry today he says , but I just took no notice and Stuart kept going like this Geoff and he says I just went so he , he did the same back and then he went Geoff and Geoffrey just went , I mean what you do ? , #
I mean I've said to him answer him back like you would but he , he , the thing is he just thumps them , he just thumps and kicks and hits #
yeah but he don't get done , he doesn't get done , that is the problem , the kids don't , I've written a letter to Mr yesterday , why they were waiting for the games teacher he was hitting Geoffrey and he gave him a dead leg , kneeing him in the leg , he said before drama , he's got drama tomorrow he says he hates drama because the teacher takes no notice , he said one week Stuart was hitting me with a stick and the teacher just said calm down you boys , and he was being hit with a stick oh no and this I find totally disgusting and I feel like complaining about this , one of the teachers and I don't know whether its drama yeah I think it was drama and #
they were , they were doing a play or something and it , it mentioned about er , erm , what did it mention ? , it was a bit rude any way this play and it oh it was on about an erection or something and Geoffrey said his trousers his new trousers were sticking out a bit peculiar #
and the teacher said Geoffrey stop playing with yourself , now I think that's disgusting #
I feel like complaining about that #
that is just not on #
he wasn't playing peculiar and the teacher say said something about , he was reading it out and the kids said oh what's his name then and she said he's names Geoff and they were all going ooh Geoff and she said , he says I think she does it on purpose #
but he's proper pissed off , what can he do ? , because its not just him , its not just Stuart because she , cos Geoffrey says oh half the kids in the class are all bloody weird he said , they're supposed to be me friends he says there's only one kid in the class that doesn't join in and its Indipau #
all the rest join in with Stuart , and Indipau says oh take no notice Geoff , don't let them get you down , but its only Indipau that's not , all the girls they all join in , bloody Colin who , he borrowed his computer that time , remember ? #
he erm , he's given Stuart our phone number and Stuart's been shouting this , this is Geoff's phone number I mean he's , he's been telling every body our phone number , I says yeah you just let somebody ring us up and I'll bloody well be round their house like a shot if they phone , they #
well #
I know but if they just start #
well that's right , I'm not having that #
but Geoffrey says it , cos I says you gotta hit back you gotta do it , he says yes its all very well but its not just Stuart , its been Blankley ,Da ,Ja , erm Daniel its a load of them and they all get together its this Daniel bloke , bash his head in , I would really , I wish somebody I'll bloody threaten him , I really do you know your big mates , bloody , he's got no older brothers , I mean all your bloody six formers , I'm sure they could frighten the little twat #
you just need to get him on his own away from the crowd #
have written to Mr three times #
well what good's that gonna do , he must of told #
well what can I do ? #
well he , I , I think he will leave #
Geoffrey's only qualm is Indipau , he says if Indipau I'll come with me I'll go , I says well don't worry about Indipau , Indipau can look after himself , he says yeah but I like Indipau , I says yeah , but lets face of all the other kids in your class who you gonna be sorry to leave , he said none of them , I said well there you are then . #
Did you have many form rows when you were at school ? #
Its a big mistake when they let in , into that school , where did they used to go ? #
Crown Hill its really gone down hill I think since they've let ra , I tell you what he ain't going there #
not sending him there , rather send him to Judge #
I'm not sending him there I'll have to get Geoff to tell you about the story of , you know erm drama he says is pretty bad because , I mean in drama you sort of mess about any way don't ya ? #
and he , he just goes around thumping , kicking and , and going berserk during drama and the teacher just looks on and says calm down and I mean in view of the fact I've written to the school and complained about , but you'd think they would be keeping an eye and he hates drama so much and it , he's got drama tomorrow , if he has any trouble tomorrow morning I'm not sending him tomorrow afternoon I'm gonna start keeping him home and if they ask why I'm gonna say because you can't control your classes and you won't want to now #
oh I'll have to ask Geoff if it was , I'm absolutely disgusted about that , I really am disgusted about that #
I think I will #
I think I will cos I'm pissed off , I tell you what , I mean I think , you've been alright throughout your school more or less haven't ya ? #
but I'm most disgruntled the way Geoffrey's getting on , he's not had a single parents evening this year , you know normally you go back to school , you have one September , October which is always too soon #
he's not had one #
he's not had one #
I'm gonna write , if that , if it was the drama teacher that said that I'm gonna write to her , I'm gonna put copy to Mr #
write to him as well disgusting , as if you don't , you don't need that sort of aggravation from a teacher stirring up trouble like that making the kids making him a laughing stock , he does not need that , its just not on is it ? , and as he says I'm sure she does it on purpose . #
I don't care #
don't care , its not a good school any way , tell her to stuff it #
well I want him to , I've had enough , I think its #
I mean he's crying all the time , he burst into tears last night #
he hates school , I mean , what can I do with him ? #
he won't let me go round the kids house , he won't let me do #
well I can do , but he won't let me do any of the things I want to #
the school are doing nothing , okay what did they do , they stopped the money , yeah , they stopped him from having money , they made him pay money back which I'm pleased about that he got #
but it , he paid back five quid well Geoffrey said in reality it must of been about twenty quid that kid had taken but er he said they made him pay back five pounds , so at least they #
yeah #
when you , if you get horrid boys at school you tell 'em off , yeah #
don't you put up with any thing #
you know that Steven is he a nuisance #
today #
oh she was shouting at him at dinner time Steven oh god dinner time she was shouting him #
Steven #
mummy smacked him didn't she ? #
Steven stop running about , sounds like it , you do that again I will , she says , you do that again and I'm gonna smack you , right , come here , and she gets him and she whacks him in front of every body , didn't she Robert ? #
she was like this she was #
she makes me laugh , she stands there talking and she's saying , one minute she's saying oh Steven really loves school , he really enjoys it , he's really calmed down since he's gone to school Steven stop running down that corridor . #
You're ever such good boys at school aren't you ? #
he was trying to do the splits , show Martin how you do the look , look , look , yeah , he come up to me and said hold my hand , right , now do try to do the splits #
nearly split your trousers then #
any dream will do , yes I'm starving too #
oh dear , stop eating rubbish you won't , won't eat any dinner , oh that is disgusting ramming a whole slice of bread in whole #
without butter #
Oh mostly that really , supposedly going to America in February the sixth and the doctor , she said to the doctor what's the matter and he said you're really , really run down then he said to her what I suggest you do is to go and buy some cartons of fresh orange juice , a jar of honey and some natural live yoghurt and she's ate it all , now she's got diarrhoea can't win can ya ? #
she's only been to work once since Christmas , she went erm last Friday #
and then all the week she's been bad since , I don't know what she did when she didn't go to market #
well yeah especially this time of year really , quite he's not even asleep up there #
you gonna watch erm Jack The Ripper ? #
So what times your exam tomorrow ? #
oh right , you got a day off ? #
what you gonna do then ? #
has Matthew got a day off ? #
Richard ? #
oh who've you been on the phone to tonight ? #
are you seeing Katie this week ? #
well haven't you rang her or any thing ? #
he's a real old woman , urgh , I can't be doing with him #
what ? #
so would I #
yeah #
You're joking in America #
the first prize is Spain ? #
poo I wouldn't want that , I'd rather go America #
mm #
Will you put the kettle on Martin ? #
have you had a nice shower ? #
Your hair's grown long again ain't it ? #
don't touch please Geoff #

Top Gun #
have we seen that ? #
is it on Wednesday ? #
what time ? #
have you put your blanket on ? #
Jaffa cakes all together now Jaffa cakes , does it say #
is it ? , oh that's disgusting all that blood #
urgh #
no they didn't wear gloves in those days #
does it say how many calories are on , in these on that box ? #
no in a Jaffa , have you got the box ? , can you pass it ? #
I've been good all week #
what , a bit of lettuce ? #
let's have a look please #
yeah , me stomach were rumbling all night #
I'm not kidding myself forty seven calories per cake , oh I think I can have one of those #
no , here you are #
pardon ? #
who's David Swift ? #
oh I don't think that is him out of London's Burning I'm #
not convinced #
I don't think it is #
well what was Colin's name ? #
was it ? #
right #
oh right , well we'll have to look in the credits at the end and see #
but I didn't think he looks #
no cos you owe me seven pound fifty #
no #
what is ? #
well go and get the cheque book out the #
cos the cheque book's in your drawer #
I haven't got a cheque book #
well I ain't gotta cheque book #
did you put it in then ? #
oh I didn't know I've got a cheque book in there #
oh it just shows I haven't written a cheque out then dunnit ? #
I've been paying for me petrol with me money me family allowance . #
What you doing tomorrow morning then ? #
staying in bed I expect #
you've not got school tomorrow ? #
Dave's home tomorrow with Roberto #
Dave's home tomorrow with Roberto #
ah , how do you reckon what's er name can do Ken's job that cheap ? #
stuff in his garage #
yeah #
what Ken say I've always wanted a pedestal #
well what's he got then ? #
oh your joking , I , at #
oh my giddy aunt , his house is really unmodern in't it ? #
the kitchen's awful , I hate that kitchen its awful with that kitchen with the back door in the middle of it , why have they got a back door in the middle of their kitchen ?its right in the middle of it #
it seems different now , they've got the cooker right by the door #
its badly designed and planned int it ? #
its awful #
need a new kitchen , dunno about need a new back door , our kitchen looks totally different to them , oh I know what it is , they've got their door to the living room in the kitchen , that's what makes a lot of difference don't it ?but it could be designed better than that #
when you look at their kitchen and ours , its the same , they've got their pantry knocked in the same ain't they ? , its horrible though I hate it . #
is his door rotten ? #
is ours rotten ? #
horrible back door that int it ? #
so what does he want , oh he wants a new back door #
and a new bathroom #
what's I gonna say ? , and he needs , his , his roof of his porch doing #
and you say that Arthur's roof's leaking #
he only did it last year #
he's not #
why's it , why they leaking if , even if they are flat roof , why are they leaking ? #
yes I know , mm #
oh didn't you #
well how stupid why's he just done it like that ? #
what is that room that he's got at the back ? #
a conservatory #
what they got in it ? #
mm she's a bit weird , cos your down the alley way and you , you walk into it don't ya ? #
Mm , its not many that's got alley ways sealed like ours , mostly all open aren't they ? #
mm #
you want to apply to that , does it say in writing again ? , that's the trouble , you know when they say apply in writing , how much detail have you gotta give , for a job ? , #
I never know what they want to know . #
well yeah , yeah #
yeah #
that's a waste of time #
qualifications #
yeah well that's right #
yeah #
I don't know , why ? #
Ministry of Health #
union Ministry of Health #
dunno #
Erm #
about fifty thousand #
a cabinet minister ? , about thirty five thousand #
not that much #
twenty thousand #
oh #
mm #
Keith has got his own job as well ain't he ? #
I bet he does #
lying through his teeth #
I think he's a lying git don't you ? #
oh of course , he's got to impress hasn't he ? #
where , don't do that #
mm #
they're saying that their fixing figures by not putting people on the waiting list so the waiting lists are shorter , because they're putting , not , they're saying that to people we can't treat you for about two years so I'm not going to put you on the list at the moment , so they're , cooking the books , that's what they reckon #
every body #
yeah like I mean a pollack #
that's not an emergency , life threatening #
mm , they're non in , non urgent cases #
you get tonsillitis don't ya ? #
Yeah its not very nice #
yeah I know and #
things that I think shouldn't be done on the health service are breast implants #
er , even before the scare came like the silicone #
no , no that's different , that is different , she's got a deformity , that is different , people that have 'em done just to enlarge their breasts , I don't think that should be done on the National Health , if they want to do that , then #
they should pay for it #
well yes , breast implants is cosmetic surgery isn't it #
no , no #
no , but breast implants is cosmetic , people are doing it to make themselves larger and I don't think , its not necessary is it ? , its not necessary , it don't improve their #
well it is vanity , their health's not gonna improve by er , with their breasts enlarged so I don't see why the National Health should pay for that , if they want that doing they should pay themselves , different in Claire's case because she's got one breast extremely small and one large one so she's got a deformity , that's different , correcting a deformity's different , but if you just wanna go from a size thirty two to a thirty six B , then you should pay for it don't you think ? #
I think so . #
what were the interest rates when Labour were locked in power #
mm #
that's exactly it #
you'll have to mortgage your house if you had a serious illness #
oh #
well wiped out , won't we , we'd have to sell your house to pay for your medication alone #
I mean it , they complain and moan about the N H S , but basically its a good system #
you can always complain about any thing , look at America they've got private health care , look at the number of doctor's being sued #
because people are dissatisfied with the treatment and they're paying for that treatment and they're dissatisfied , so you always get complaints whether you pay or not #
did you ? #
what box ? #
Joe Croftman , is it ? #
huh #
did you get hair , hair wettings with the tool #
was there many talking when you went ? #
mm #
I remember when Labour were last in power #
I've not , when Labour was last in power and were going back now to nineteen seventies , they left the country in a mess , there was three day week , there was strike's , electricity strike , the coal board were on strike , every body was striking and down tools . #
You used to go to work , I worked in the bank then , and the #
used to publish what areas were going to have power cuts , d'ya remember ? , you were in Bristol at the time , er Stuart was the same , they used to publish what area would be cut off and for what time and for how long and you knew you would get cut off , sort of ten o'clock in the morning till three in the afternoon ,usu , four or five hours at a time wasn't it ? #
no #
yeah #
no #
well we had in the bank , we had calor gas lamps and when the power cut came we had to have the calor gas lamps on , and er , at night you'd get home and you knew what area was going off at what time and you used to have to rush round , I remember once , it was going off about six and it went off early , it went off about five instead , and I'd started cooking the tea , luckily got a gas cooker and this was at Abbott Road , it started #
cooking the tea , I remember it was fish fingers and chips I was doing and er the dam lights all went out , you were only little and erm Lynsey er , she came round from next door because she started cooking her chips #
and she said , she'd got an electric cooker , can I finish cooking me tea on your cooker , huh , said it went off earlier than we thought I mean it wasn't #
it was disgusting how the held the country to ransom didn't they ? #
oh yeah #
yeah #
yeah stupid #
oh yeah #
fast asleep #
yeah #
yeah #
yeah #
yeah , on night shift #
they took sleeping bags to work with 'em #
yeah , because half of them was sleeping #
yeah #
yeah #
the whole rigmarole #
mm #
yeah #
yeah #
do they ? #
mm #
good gracious #
god #
good gracious well I worry what'll happen to the health service if Labour get in #
yeah , its done away with labour #
done away with people #
yeah #
its the same in all jobs , look at the banks how they've had to cut down on staff , computers have just totally took over , I mean every , every area of work more or less its been done away with by computers #
apart from nursing #
yeah , don't bother me don't bother maintain don't bother , no #
yeah #
I know #
no no #
yeah #
yeah #
either dead on #
or more , if you spend less you don't get any #
yeah #
oh yeah #
or just over , yeah #
no #
mm #
that's why #
that's why #
nursing there #
trying to , yeah you're safe , but they're trying to , our community unit are trying to be a trust like the hospitals are opting out aren't they ? #
and they are excepting a lump sum from the Government and they're going to manage themselves and make a going concern of it as a business and any profits they get will go back to that hospital , well the community unit are opting out as well , they're hoping to opt out , but if Labour get in , they're gonna do away with all that and they want to undo all the one's that have opted out , I mean I dunno how the hell they're gonna do it #
because I , the doctors I work for they have opted out , they are what they call it fund holding , they've got their own budget , they've got a , they've got a practice manager and its run as a business and they look at every thing and any profits that they get are ploughed back into the G P's surgery and er , and they improve the surgery facilities for the patience , and it will be a better service , but I mean how can Labour come in and then say right you're not doing that , how can they undo it #
they can't undo it #
oh #
I know #
mm I mean every Government does some good and some bad , but on the whole I think the Conservative have done good , because they've made more people home owners than ever before #
enabled them to buy their Council houses , at er cheaper rate because they've lived in them a long time and its , its given a lot of people more independence , unemployment would of happened who ever was in power #
it doesn't matter , they've not caused it #
no #
mm #
no I hate it when each party calls each other blind , oh yes its , its better if you have us and were gonna do this and were gonna do that it gets on my nerves its really irritating #
yeah #
yeah , or #
and the three days working week #
that's right , that's right , the the bin men strike #
all the #
yeah #
she didn't give in to 'em did she ? #
she didn't give in , they didn't accomplish any thing , I remember the bin man strike , how many week's was that , that the rubbish was all #
was it ? all #
it was rotting #
rotting away they wouldn't take the rubbish would they ? #
dig graves #
that's stupid isn't it ? , ruddy ridiculous , that's the trouble because Labour are all for the unions aren't they ? #
yeah #
its run by the blinking erm unions Labour #
mm , well that's what it is in it ? , that's what it is #
cracked ? #
is he Labour ? #
is he ? #
yeah , yeah #
yeah #
yeah he's one of the few doctor's that's not seemingly not all for what he can get , he seems to be a genuine caring chap I mean a lot of doctor's they burn the candles at both ends #
private clinics and first thing in the morning #
yes , but then what's bad about that is , the doctor's taking the supplies from the Health Service to their private clinics #
that's what goes on and that's what's draining the Health Service as well . #
When I worked at the General , doctor's who shall be name less used to #
yeah , oh yeah , doctor's who shall be name less , used to fill up black plastic bags full of supplies #
yeah I know #
yeah , that's true #
how can he ? , he's not , they're not in power #
I think he will , actually I think he's quite good don't you ? #
yeah #
why do they call #
don't it make you think though that Keith I mean would he really become pain in the side if it was just an ordinary battle #
yes #
who the heck are they any way ? about #
mm #
mm #
mm #
well they probably don't , well #
mm , the thing is though , that wasn't a Court hearing yesterday and whatever they say is gonna incriminate them so if they want to ask them questions they've gotta take them to Court haven't they ? #
they got to take them to Court and ask the off the questions officially under oath , there's no good getting 'em together like that #
with a drop of clanger #
oh can't #
Welsh wind bag ?oh he's lost his hair a lot ain't he ? #
Geoff dear where is the advert for these games , because I don't know the address and I don't know who I've got to make the cheque payable too #
what you doing with these ? #
parking wings on three screens four for #
well is it on the wall unit some where ? , is it down by the papers ? , not that wall unit , there , over there #
no #
eh ? #
who beat em ? #
they can't ,Farnbor Farnborough's last look #
oh were playing Bristol City and not Wimbledon #
are they ? #
Breken , its Bracken #
I say its Bracken #
er they always have high scores don't they ? #
why do Scotland always score more goals ? #
they do #
always high scorers #
and if you look at the Scottish results #
when you look at the Scottish results you don't get many draws in the Scottish league #
mm #
is he C B E ? #
can you find another magazine with the advert in ? #
fine #
fine #
its gotta be over there somewhere Geoff #
I have seen it when I was tidying up #
a piece of paper #
you like it cos its all food #
oh my mother always used to buy H P baked beans when I was a kid #
and the advert was H P baked beans they're the beans for me , H P baked beans they're the beans for me they're a bit more spicy #
my mother always used to buy Pan Yan pickle #
not , not Branston , Pan Yan #
I like Pan Yan actually , next time we have pickle I think I'm going to buy Pan Yan #
they do do Pan Yan pickle #
of course they do Pan Yan , what a funny name , Pan Yan , I bet its a Chinese bloke that er invented it Geoffrey what you doing dear ? #
trying to get something in something that won't go is it not underneath that tissues and all that #
pile of #
its not ? #
I didn't see it no #
who did ? #
yeah #
oh would there be #
there be #
is that what is was ? #
no it was grey , greyie black #
no way it weren't #
weren't #
couldn't , when ? #
it wasn't green #
it wasn't green , it was grey #
no way was it green #
Ken , Rita said it was a , its a Porshe #
and when #
Ri Rita said Ken said it was a Porshe , but when I asked Ken he said he didn't say it was a Porshe , he says I wouldn't know a Porshe if I've seen one and I says yeah , that's what Dave said , ha , ha , ha , cos you said oh Ken don't know one car from another and , and that's what he said #
oh #
yeah #
is he there then ? #
why ? #
we've got more than #
you've got the #
you've got the numbers written down here #
the same #
advertise of course they do #
Navada Bobs , what's Navada Bobs ? #
oh #
its flog tonight #
well at least he spoke of that #
you'd think he would of listed 'em in a list wouldn't ya ? #
yeah , but that's the name of the game , Monopoly , Cluedo and others #
no , and you didn't write to your pen friend either #
has every body heard by now ? #
has every body heard though ? #
don't want you to go to London particular #
oh where's the blinking ad , advert #
in the fog aren't they ? #
my god #
well I don't know #
I'm sure I saw it over there because I was tidying up #
in that lot over there , underneath all that rubbish #
well if any thing its more likely to be at the top of the pile , not the bottom #
oh great , any body want a bobby Batman sock ? , phew dear his feet smell I remember seeing it , I don't remember if it was yesterday , cos I remember seeing the games and all that , I didn't throw it away #
is there any sweets in there ? #
eh , this kid , this little baby look , savage by a ferret , listen #
see his little face #
oh god , I'd of shot it , I can't stand ferret's I can't #
well ferret's a wild animal #
int it ? #
no #
well have a look then , I don't know where it is there's nothing down here #
no , its not a legend #
you sure its not in the things at the side ? , what at #
yes , but I've seen it #
when , when did he take it to bed with him ? #
I've seen it since Saturday , I've seen it round here since Saturday #
what ? #
well somebody must of thrown it out then , that's all I've got to say #
well I haven't coffee ? #
yeah , I've seen it in the last day or two #
where ? #
which bin ? #
its not in there now #
look , where's you read the magazine ? #
well is it down there ? #
I can't get it then can I ? #
looking for his magazine #
El Vera #
tut #
El Vera #
but you still say El Vera don't ya ? #
oh is it in that corner ?that's where I put all the stuff , Jack The Ripper #
er , blinking dog , cobwebs , urgh #
that toffee's nice , give me another one of them #
gold , gold , quite nice , mind ya fillings #
yeah , gotta go dentist next week dentist next week men #
no its not #
no no I'm sorry I don't think so . #
Do you want waking up tomorrow morning or not ? #
I won't be up at seven #
he said eight #
roll out the barrel it , doesn't something happens to her ? #
chopped up #
no oh dear #
what she crying for ? , what she going on the street for if she don't like it ? , silly idiot #
well why she doing it ? #
huh , oh he's still married to Shakeara Bash in't he ? #
yeah , but she was called Shakeara Bash , she was a Miss World finalist weren't she ? , was she Miss World Shakeara Bash ? , she was #
somewhere , some hot country that's good in it ? #
yeah they are aren't they ? #
are we to say that we didn't want it to be Prince #
what she been in Lysette Anthony ? #
They've got no brothers and sisters #
the parents are just as bad anyway #
absolutely ridiculous #
oh I think he could #
oh I think he could #
yeah got about ten , I mean wh what chance has he got ? #
the thing is it #
he can't hold his head up now can he ? since he cried #
well exactly and that headmaster said about the bully at their school , it , he thought that was really bad the fact he #
thumped this girl back , he says and I told him he will not be able to stay at school for dinner #
Do you have sugar ? #
where's that , you said there was a book that come this morning that'll be alright for them #
no #
Club Cantabrica , city centre , Spain , France #
is it camping ? #
do you remember we went there #
well they said Blanes #
I mean you'd be alright on the coach , er we went you were only #
eight , but you'll be alright on the coach #
they got in , came in our tent last year #
I lay there and I heard this zip go z-z-zip up , god someone's coming in tent , tried to get in bed with us . #
and I said who's that ?and he went oh god , shit we're in the wrong tent and they went out and you can hear 'em I mean being a tent they're laughing their head off for about half an hour #
he goes we really put the wind up that woman didn't we , ooh , ooh , ooh and they #
it was , it was funny that and it rained terrible didn't it ? #
you got that wretched tape on again ? , you got it on ? #
yes , so I mean the coach would be alright #
yeah , but you'll be alright #
it's a lot cheaper , what do ya mean no room ? #
they keep they keep stopping #
cost exactly , and it's so much cheaper than #
who said that ? #
here we are , when do you want to go ? #
I thought you , oh #
these not , there not #
time though are they now ? #
well here you are #
if you go to Blanes hundred and seventy four pound for seventeen days , oh wait a minute , oh crikey it's based on three people sharing ,for two see page forty eight #
You sure you want to go ? #
two people book a small mobile home on any high season depart from Saturday the tenth of July oh that's after you , oh wait a minute ,until twenty third of August and only pay the low season charge , save , save over thirty pound per #
it's a lot cheaper int it ? #
oh #
was alright #
isn't further than oh of course it is , it's #
oh some of , France is alright , where's that then ? #
go down further #
yeah #
it's much dearer than Spain , France #
dearer than Spain #
looking at hotel #
what did you want to do go in a central caravan or what ? #
whatever's the cheapest , tents are cheapest #
we didn't , we didn't get very wet when we were #
the only thing in a tent is that , you've got somewhere to lock your money up , in it ? , your passport and that , although when we went we just left our passports and money in the tent , but I wouldn't do that now #
I know I wouldn't do it now #
no , not necessarily , you do know er #
you do #
when you do the late bookings , you know where you're going don't ya ? #
it's just that my mum and dad have been on ones where they don't know where they're going , Greece #
Greece they do this island hopping thing , and you don't know where you could be , it could be any of the Greek islands , but mostly , mostly you know where you're going oh God #
no , if it's Joan I'm , I'm not in #
can't see any thing that says do , two of the same sex people can't go #
no can't , just can't #
I can't see #
that's good that is #
where you going ? #
what time you coming home ? #
have I got to put the lamps on or not ? #
how late you gonna be ? #
well I need to know #