Steve Meacham tries some of the fine golf courses along the mighty Murray River.
As we approach the forbiddingly defended 16th green of the immaculate Murray Downs Golf and Country Club, my 12-year-old son and caddie hands me a pitching wedge and asks, optimistically, if he should bring my putter with him.
"You'd be better off taking the sand wedge," my 10-year-old substitute caddie announces. 
"Have you seen those bunkers? And have you ever seen Dad miss a small bunker, let alone any as big as these?"
But much to their amazement, and mine, this time my ball lofts elegantly over the gaping sand traps and lands close enough to the flag for me to get my first (and only) par of the round. It's amazing how one good shot can ease the pain of a dozen bad ones, but then golf is a game in which hope eternally triumphs over experience.
We're here on a "boy's only" trip along the mighty Murray River, travelling upstream from Mildura to Albury via Swan Hill and Echuca, and we're using the opportunity to test some of the fine golf courses hugging the river banks.
The Murray has been called "the longest fairway in Australia".
No fewer than 41 golf courses are to be found along the Murray, from Khancoban at the foot of the Snowy Mountains to Murray Bridge in South Australia, near the mouth of the river.
In a week, we can't play them all, but we do manage to play some of the finest.
My favourites?
Murray Downs, six kilometres out of Swan Hill and regarded as the best golf championship course on the Murray.
Rich River Golf Club Resort, in Echuca-Moama, with its two 18-hole championship courses, one designed by Peter Thompson.
The more than century-old Mildura Golf Club, currently being reinvented as a residential course, but still an elegant reminder of when golf clubs were within the city limits, rather than several kilometres outside.
And the rustic, charming Riverside Golf Course, 10 kilometres outside Mildura. It's certainly not the swishest club on the Murray, but, as is so typical of the river's courses, it's honest, affordable and unpretentious, with the added advantage of a back nine that features unforgettable Murray River views.
With the help of experts, we've put together nine courses worthy of your attention.
WHEN SIZE DOES MATTER
Let's start with Australia's largest public access golf course, the Yarrawonga and Border Golf Club, boasting no less than 45 holes within a three-hour drive of Melbourne. Of its three courses - Murray, Lake and Executive (plus driving range) - the Murray is not only the longest but the most popular because it meanders, along with the river, through lovely river gums, sandy river flats and majestic views.
MID-RIVER MARVEL
The Barham Golf and Country Club, designed by noted golf architect Ross Watson, is a par 73 championship course. The 18th was moved slightly in 2014 to make it more challenging.
GO WEST, YOUNG MAN
A generation of Australian golfers have learnt their trade at the Cobram Barooga Golf Club, which offers 36 holes of championship conditions spread over the Old Course and the newer West Course. As you would expect, the Old Course is traditionally designed, shaped by red gums, wicked bunkers and fast greens.
The West Course is more gentle on the easily challenged golfer with wider fairways and larger greens.
PASS THE RED, AFTER THE GREENS
Rutherglen is one of Victoria's most beautiful vineyard districts, but the Corowa Golf Club, just metres from the Murray and close to Rutherglen, is another reason to flock here.
It has 27 holes, undulating fairways and immaculate greens.
The original 18 holes were opened 60 years ago.
A quarter of a century later, a different front nine were added to cater for modern golfers like me, who like long and open holes that might just mean their balls aren't lost.
LISTEN AND LEARN
Tocumwal Golf Club boasts two championship courses that are currently home to the Southern PGA Trainee Championships - in other words, stars of the future.
The 6272-metre, par 72 Captain's Course has been reinvented with a new front nine. The shorter, President's Course (6066 metres, also par 72) is considered kinder.
GET COMMERCIAL
Albury's picturesque 5774-metre, 18-hole championship course at the Commercial Golf Resort plays host to state tournaments, and is the most easily accessed course on the Murray. Best hole? Probably the shortest - the third - only 355 metres, but a dogleg right, through gum trees and a stormwater drain to the bunker-protected green.
PLAY GOLF, THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY
Here's a piece of history for you buffs. What was the first golf club in Australia to put in motel units for visiting golfers to stay?
Mildura Golf Club, which recently celebrated its centenary.
Providing accommodation on course was considered revolutionary at the time. Today, the 6011-metre, par 72 course is being reconfigured. Before you book, check the website to find out the progress.
FEELING RICH, BUDDY?
Great, they've put us on Rich River Golf Resort's 6131-metre, par 72, Peter Thompson-designed East Course - the easier of the resort's two championship courses. The West Course (6183 metres, par 72) is more suited, with its tree-lined fairways and small, tricky greens, to serious golfers.
PERFECT SUN DOWNER
It's not long, only 6053 metres, but Murray Downs Golf and Country Club - with its man-made lakes, native gums and superbly manicured greens - is regarded as probably the best 18-hole course on the Murray, especially when you add its accommodation options. Feel like a millionaire as you play it, and forget those cheap balls you lose in all those man-made lakes.
Steve Meacham travelled as a guest of Murray Regional Tourism.