Even a gambling 'crisis' couldn't tame the Australian Open, writes Peter Hanlon.
THE BACKDROP
Like all good bombshells, detonation was timed for maximum impact. Morning one of the tournament, before a single ball had been released from its vacuum-sealed can let alone struck with a grunt or wail, and the BBC-Buzzfeed report was going off like a frog in a sock. Supposedly, tennis is as bent as a Nick Kyrgios haircut. Cue hysteria, and don't spare the mustard.
And so the most peculiar of Australian Opens played out against a backdrop of whispers and imputations. Gambling companies got more bang for their buck than they might have seen coming in their most sordid dreams, authorities defended climbing into bed with them on the grounds that it's still legal among consenting adults, some big names were tossed into the mire in a manner that seemed a little preposterous, a non-descript mixed doubles match became the most scrutinised of the tournament, and we finished up pretty much where we'd started. 
That is, with anyone who isn't asleep at the wheel being onto the fact that if there's a sport that's more open to rorting than tennis it hasn't been invented yet. And while all that smoke probably means fire, if you can't find the flames it doesn't matter how long your hose is or how much water's in your tank.
Reading Buzzfeed's 9000-word report was a good way to pass a David Ferrer match, and it was fun watching all those players being quizzed in press conferences about the latest allegations and hearing their "nothing to see here, move along" answers. And the discovery that there's something called the Tennis Integrity Unit surely gave hope to people who hold stop and go signs at Sunday arvo roadworks that there's an even better way to make a buck standing still.
In fact, the volume on the match-fixing story increased to such ear-splitting levels that the really important men in suits who fronted the media on day one put themselves back in the spotlight midway through week two, announcing that they still didn't think tennis was crooked but since that darned BBC-Buzzfeed report clearly everyone else did, so they'd hired a QC from London to sort everything out. A really amazing QC, they said, several times. Who worked in London. As a QC. Wow!
They even answered questions, and with so much talk about "perception" it would have been nice to know why they didn't have at least one woman in a suit on board, perhaps in place of the bloke with the moustache up the end who didn't seem to know what was going on.
Their work changing perception and finding suitably sombre matching ties continues. The really amazing QC (from London) has the job ahead of him, because as strong as the case may be that there's some battlers up the back of the tennis caravan who are open to pushing the odd serve into the tramlines, without hard evidence it all sounds a bit like that line from someone who knew a thing or two about life's murky depths. As the great Spongebob Squarepants said: "I know this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy's brother . . ."
You need more than that to nail a dodgy baseliner to the back wall.
THE LOCALS
With 18 starters flying Lleyton Hewitt's shirt in the first round there was plenty of competition for Aussie hero status, but in the end the most stunning local performance came from everyone who affixed "Australian-born" to "Johanna Konta" and said the "born" bit so quickly and quietly you'd swear she was one of us.
Yet given that a nation was smitten with a young woman who's lived 18 of her 21 years in Russia but now endures the brutality of a Middle Park winter, we were all guilty of bringing a little BYO jingoism to the Australia Day tennis party.
Daria Gavrilova was the local feelgood story of the tournament, the dynamo who bounced and smiled and smacked her way to the fourth round. Her sunny contrast to the on-court boorishness of, ooh, let's say Nick Kyrgios, only enhanced her charm.
Then she lost her rag spectacularly after taking the first set off Carla Suarez Navarro to love, and flamed out amid shrieks of self-recrimination. "Aussie Dasha" admitted she'd behaved like a little girl and vowed to learn from the experience.
She will be forgiven. Or at least remembered more readily than the various wildcard recipients and draw filler whose names weren't as interesting as Storm Sanders.
Elsewhere, Kyrgios mixed some stunning tennis with a couple of epic wobblies. He also kissed his girlfriend, Ajla Tomljanovic, whose greatest gift to Australian tennis could yet be convincing her beau not to be such a knob.
Bernard Tomic reached the fourth round, lost to Andy Murray in straight sets, but was deemed to have improved because he won a couple more games than he has in his other straight-sets losses to Murray. John Millman lost to Tomic in the previous round, but won plenty of admirers for having a crack and behaving like an adult.
James Duckworth had the misfortune of coming up against the Hewitt Farewell Tour in his first match, a no-win proposition that he didn't win. Hewitt then bowed out, stoically subjected himself to one last on-court interview with Jim Courier, took his kids to his media conference and spent the rest of the tournament demonstrating how nice it is to have a fresh voice in the commentary box.
And Sam Stosur lost in the first round.
THE REST
"Aussie Jo" Konta was of course the story of the fortnight, our girl who overcame the hardship of being uprooted from Sydney and forced to spend her teens in England carrying the burden of being touted as the next Sam Smith.
She bore it in grand style, becoming the first Australian-born semi-finalist at the national championships since Wendy Turnbull in 1981 (nit-picking Brits pointed out she was also the first Englishwoman to make the last four of a slam since Jo Durie at the 1983 US Open).
Konta's quarter-final against Shuai Zhang pitted a player who was ranked 149 a year ago against a Chinese veteran who was thinking about quitting and becoming a farmer before she toppled second-seed Simona Halep in the first round. It was Zhang's first win at a grand slam in her 14th attempt. Despite all we've done to turn her career around, Zhang didn't express any plans to become Australian.
THE BEST
Roger Federer revealed that he knows everyone thinks he's old but he doesn't care, and gave every indication he's not tired of beating everyone before losing to the very best just yet.
Andy Murray gamely overcame umbilical attachment to his mother and the entourage in his box to reach a fifth Australian Open final, enduring along the way constant questioning about his pregnant wife and the health of his father-in-law. Whatever happened on Sunday night, this observer is convinced he wouldn't be a lesser player if mum and the gang watched his matches on the hotel TV and he had to work his way through the tricky bits all by his 28-year-old self.
In the semis Murray had overcome Milos Raonic, a win of some merit against a player on the rise who demonstrated that having the temperament (and hair) of Hymie the robot from Get Smart, along with a big serve and improving all-round game, will take you places.
And Novak Djokovic reached Sunday night's final in pursuit of a sixth Australian Open title by being better than everyone else, again.
Which for anyone but the canniest of punters seemed an inevitability for Serena Williams, who surely only had to turn up to win her 22nd grand slam title against Angelique Kerber. The German court coverage and persistence helped her win four WTA titles last year, bettered only by Williams' five. Her leftie's game couldn't be underestimated. But surely she couldn't beat Serena.
It's intriguing to wonder if the outcome might have been different had Kerber been wearing a Maria Sharapova mask. The manner of victory made it all the grander, steadying in the face of a tidal wave that threatened to crash her to the court, rallying after Williams broke back in the decider and getting the toughest job in tennis done.
Serena was all grace in defeat. Kerber, the new world No.2, was overwhelmed to the point of tears. It was a wonderful, unexpected ending. One you wouldn't have bet on with someone else's money.