why you took the case , when you never touch anything of the sort . for a second his grim , menacing anger frightened her as he half shouted : are you trying to suggest that I was her lover ? responsible for - he stopped . conflict tortured him . here was his supreme revenge : to tell her the truth ; shatter her faith in Philip &amp;hellip; Beryl was dead ... . he shivered . taking with her the only proof he had to discount this accusation . Sandra prayed , despite her vituperation , that he would have some defence , give her some denial , but all he said was : if you believe me capable of that , we have nothing more to say to each other - nothing . the hurt in him was like a wound - stinging , aching . was this Philip &apos;s work ? and even if it were , it came back to one man &apos;s word against another and &amp;hellip; she loved Philip . until then the exactitudes of his profession had demanded his silence , and now he was absolved from that promise , he found himself bound by his own love for her , his desire for her happiness . far better that she should believe him to be a cad than the man she was going to marry and obviously loved so deeply . he doubted that Philip would betray her after all that had happened . fear would be a deterrent . Sandra flung her arms out in a gesture of despair . do you leave me anything else to believe ? or is your silence the cowardly way out ? she hated the words , but they leapt from the torment of loving him ; from the tension , the weariness that made even breathing an effort . is this what has been in your mind all the time ? he spoke with greater passion . was this why you wanted to leave the job just before Philip was taken ill ? his mouth hardened , his eyes became steely . I see . scorn lashed his words . I wonder you dared trust him to my care . Nicholas - well ! at least I know the truth . truth ! his gaze held hers masterfully . you wanted it so badly - at any price . I hope you are satisfied . and as he spoke , the thought of Philip lying in the other room filled him with a revulsion that was homicidal . even in that , his hands were tied . he dare not precipitate what might well be another coronary . and in that second he put back his professional mantle , and said with such icy politeness , such withdrawn bitterness , that Sandra withered before it : I will leave you the necessary prescription for the sedatives . you will contact your new doctor when you reach your parents &apos; house . she watched him flick his fountain-pen from his waistcoat pocket , take out his prescription pad , and scribble on it . then , with a gesture she knew so well , he tore off the leaflet and handed it to her . good-bye , Sandra , he said with a deadly finality . watching him go , unable to speak , she felt that part of her was leaving with him . she could n&apos;t hate him &amp;hellip; . if only he would have confided in her , given some explanation . now there was nothing - not even friendship . she went back to Philip . but all she could hear were Nicholas &apos;s words : I love you - oh , you know that well enough . love . she revolted against the word . Nicholas , Philip &amp;hellip; where was happiness , or peace of mind ? Philip put out a hand and grasped hers . he needed her . she would find solace in that fact at least . and she had n&apos;t to doubt his sincerity any more &amp;hellip; . she had her truth . how much had built up from that first ideal , and how little joy , or satisfaction , it had given her . I &apos;m sorry , darling . he looked nervous . it had been hell lying there , knowing she was talking to Nicholas and wondering what they were saying . Sandra said instinctively : I told him I knew he was responsible for Beryl &apos;s death . she rushed on : his attitude &amp;hellip; . I do n&apos;t know - something snapped . I could n&apos;t stand it &amp;hellip; . why do you look at me like that ? I asked you not to mention it . Philip felt that he was running a high temperature as fear swirled back . what had Nicholas said ? I would never have done so while Beryl was alive . he had n&apos;t any answer - except to suggest that if I believed him capable of that - her eyes darkened in torment . are you sure that she was telling the truth ? good heavens , darling , why on earth should she lie ? besides , it was n&apos;t just her word . there was enough evidence , no matter how one might want to disbelieve the facts . elation touched him after the cold wind of suspense . it will be interesting to see what comes out at the inquest . what his story will be . I reckon he &apos;ll confine himself to the nervous origin of her recent illness . his notes will be truthful , but what he leaves out will matter most . strange how just then Philip was so certain that Nicholas would never betray him . he loved Sandra too deeply to ruin her future happiness . had ever circumstances conspired so cunningly ? Philip &apos;s spirits soared . he was better ; he had made a miraculous recovery and Sandra would soon be his wife . the devil , he thought , certainly looked after his own . something in Sandra &apos;s attitude struck him suddenly , making him say : you can n&apos;t forgive him for this - can you ? forgive is an unctuous , patronizing word , she replied . I despise the deceit . the lies . Philip could n&apos;t keep the words back . suppose you had loved him and all this came out . what then ? suppose you had loved him &amp;hellip; . Sandra realized with a bitter futility that now it was her silence that was the lie . and Nicholas &apos;s words re-echoed mockingly : no human being could live with absolute truth . I could n&apos;t live without faith , Philip . or with pretence . she shivered . she was going to pretend for the rest of her life . pretend to be in love with Philip even though she knew she would try never to utter those words . how honourable was that ? she looked at him , and his need of her , his dependence upon her , created a climate where self-delusion masqueraded as the right thing to do . how easy it would have been to cling to Nicholas , tell him that she could hardly bear life without him , no matter what he had done to make her despise him &amp;hellip; . but to walk out on Philip , break her promise and end their relationship , for no better reason than what appeared as innate self-preservation . that was impossible . he had been honest with her and did n&apos;t deserve to be let down . she said suddenly , irrelevantly : Beryl &apos;s life recently - the whole thing - was very strange when you think of it . how ? Philip looked startled . would she have married Nicholas in any case , since she loved you ? Philip felt a stab of jealousy . are you trying to make his case good ? no ; to be fair . he seemed so amazed when I suggested marriage to her . I &apos;ve only thought of your illness lately - never studied all this beyond the angle of Beryl &apos;s unhappiness and Nicholas being involved . I did n&apos;t tell you , but she called here two days ago . what ? Philip felt that he had been swirled down a bumpy lift . but - why ? he hastened . why should she call ? oh , just to thank me and to inquire about you . looking back , her attitude was strange . she seemed afraid - of Nicholas , Philip said insinuatingly . Sandra could n&apos;t deny that , and the more she dwelt on it all , the more curious it became . she spoke about wondering if she ought to tell me - Sandra began to shiver . Philip managed to keep his voice steady . I can imagine Nicholas putting the fear of God into her . the last person he would want told was you . it added up , and Sandra nodded . but it is still like looking at a picture in shadow . I told you that - soon after the cottage episode . what was she keeping back &amp;hellip; . we certainly shall not discover now . one thing I am convinced about . her death links up with her miscarriage . she told me once he was determined she should not go through with the pregnancy . Sandra gave a pained cry . darling , I hinted that , too , you remember . I did n&apos;t want to sound too dramatic , or - well - I know . she felt very sick as she sat there , desolate . it was all so ugly . Philip wanted to settle the problem - leave no loopholes . she lost either way , really . he would n&apos;t marry her , and he dare not risk the threat of the child . obviously it would have been a handicap to her , too , and in her saner moments she must have been thankful to get out of the mess &amp;hellip; . but she was neurotic . it &apos;s my guess that the cottage episode was the beginning of the end for her . Sandra pressed the point . meaning that Nicholas deliberately got rid of the child ? Philip was far too deep in the lies to retreat from that direct question . yes . her fear of him was pretty obvious . he had to take care of her professionally , but he certainly did n&apos;t want you to know the facts . she probably did . Beryl was a lonely person and had very few friends . Sandra nodded . let &apos;s not talk of it again , she said dully . I can n&apos;t bear it &amp;hellip; . everything &apos;s ready . she looked around her . part of her life was ending ; a part she had loved . leaving the flat and staying at Monk &apos;s Toft would be an ordeal , despite the rest from perpetual work . Philip relaxed again . now there was only the inquest , and he had nothing whatsoever to fear from that . it was far too late for Nicholas to make any accusations . eighteen . the inquest offered no surprise . Nicholas &apos;s evidence conformed strictly to the law and ethics . Miss Graham had been in his care . she had been in a highly nervous state . a verdict of suicide while the balance of her mind was disturbed , was returned . Philip put down the evening newspaper , looked at Gordon Neal , and said : very sad . Nicholas &apos;s testimony said everything and nothing . one never knows the truth of these cases . Sandra did n&apos;t speak . she felt that some part of her had petrified , leaving only a shell . she lived mechanically , and while physically rested , even as the days became a week and then two , she found it impossible to overcome the desolation building up around her . Philip was amazingly better and already busy on a new play . he worked in bed , using a portable typewriter , and was completely absorbed in his task . Sandra was there - to attend to all his needs . his world was whole again and he , to himself , its hub . with illness had come an intense instinct for self-preservation , a concentration upon his desires . what was good for him ; what was not . not overdoing it . the doctor recommended by Nicholas called each week and then suggested that no further calls were necessary . Philip felt like the child no longer centre stage . it was Beatrice who said one evening after dinner , had n&apos;t we better make some plans for the wedding ? quiet , of course . Philip smiled smugly . they are made . I &apos;ve a special licence and notification has been given to the vicar . the best of having a secretary , he added , talking of one he had acquired since leaving London . Brandon &apos;s good . it only needs Sandra to name the day . Gordon said curtly , it is usual for the bride &apos;s parents to have some hand in all this , you know , Philip . Philip bristled . it was never our intention to have one of those carnival affairs , he retorted and in that second , he became the man of success exerting authority . Sandra watched her father &apos;s face pale . Philip , she knew , got on his nerves , but everything had gone over her head . it did n&apos;t really matter what was being said because she was no longer a part of it . the thought of Nicholas haunted her , the sense of loss crucifying . her father &apos;s comment roused her as he said , I was not talking of a carnival . but I presume we shall be allowed to have one or two of our friends at the ceremony . 