the young woman living alone . all that has been said in the foregoing pages about what is meant by a lady , is true for all women and young girls . but in these days , so many young women leave the protection of the parental home long before they acquire the status of a married woman , that a few rules for their guidance are most necessary . girls in jobs living in bachelor digs , girl students in towns distant from their homes , girls travelling the world alone , even , may seem and indeed be emancipated , but they are not released from the ordinary rules of good behaviour . indeed , it may be wise for them to observe such rules even more carefully , inasmuch as they are judged entirely on their own behaviour and deportment , and not at all on their home backgrounds or the social standing of their parents . it is not the function of this book to enter into questions of morals but to provide a guide to behaviour that will not cause eyebrows to be raised . however innocent her morals in actual fact , the young woman whose behaviour departs widely from accepted contemporary standards is likely to cause heads to shake , tongues to wag , and some doors will close to her and some men feel that she could not make them a suitable wife . the way she lives is the first problem . to live in a recognised residential club such as the Y.W.C.A or university hostel is one acceptable solution ; others are to board with a family , or to share a flat with one or two other girls in similar circumstances . for slightly older , more experienced young women , a room in a family hotel , a converted house made over for boarders , or a flat in a respectable block preferably near to friends of her family , or relations , are other possibilities . however impeccable her own behaviour , she should avoid living with , or near , people who clearly have less regard for convention . in her social relationships with men , the woman living alone must accept certain conventions . she should not lunch or dine alone with a married man more than once or twice - unless their relationship is openly a business one that demands it . she should never allow a man guest to stay on after a party at her flat or room after other guests have gone , or stay on herself at a man &apos;s party after the rest have left . she should not entertain a man alone in her apartment , except for the few brief minutes when he calls for her before an evening out together ; nor should she go alone to a man &apos;s bachelor flat or room . in most hostels and boarding houses , convention rules that if a man and woman are alone together , which may at times be perfectly permissible and necessary , the door must be left open . the young woman living on her own will not accept an invitation from a man to visit his country home , unless she knows that his mother or other married relation will be there to act as hostess for him . preferably , the invitation should come from his mother . the young woman living alone must be especially discreet about drinking only in strict moderation . here again , however innocent her actual life , if she is known not to behave with strict regard for propriety in any one matter , all her other behaviour at once comes under suspicion . for the same reason , she should never accept a valuable present from a man who is not a relation . a problem common to all young women , not only those living on their own , is that of whether , and when , to offer to go Dutch or share expenses of an outing with a young man escort . this is quite an accepted custom in these days when young women earn sizeable salaries , but a girl must display good manners in the way she offers to do her share of the paying . it is easy to hurt a man &apos;s feelings . with a new acquaintance , it is probably best to let the man make the running and suggest outings for the first time or two ; the girl should show her appreciation by her obvious enjoyment and animation during the outing and by her thanks at the end of it . then she can either take her turn as host , by saying she has been given theatre tickets ( or , more simply just , I &apos;ve got two theatre tickets , without more explanation ) and asking him to accompany her , perhaps suggesting that to make it entirely her evening , he allows her to take him for a meal beforehand ; or alternatively she can , when accepting his next invitation , say , yes , I &apos;d love to come , but let &apos;s go Dutch this time . the important thing is that she must make it plain before the evening begins that some or all of the financial responsibility for it will be hers . an argument over the restaurant bill or at the cinema box office is humiliating and undignified for a man , and her good manners must save him from being put in such a situation . similarly , since most men like to be seen to do the paying , it is a tactful precaution if , at the start of the evening out , she gives him the theatre tickets to take care of and , if they are going to a restaurant for which she is paying , a small purse containing amply enough for the evening , from which he can settle the bills , taxi fares , etc . if they are sharing expenses , it is tactful still to give him the purse , saying would you take my share out of that ? this avoids any undignified settling-up of each item of the evening . introductions , acknowledgements and leave taking . when to perform an introduction often puzzles the inexperienced . a good rule is if in doubt , do so as it is better to risk seeming a little fussy than to leave two people each wondering who the other is and wishing you had introduced them . an introduction is a social matter ; therefore one would not introduce a friend to , say , one &apos;s doctor , since a visit to or from the doctor is not a social occasion . naturally if the doctor were also a personal friend , or social acquaintance , the situation might be different and an introduction quite in order . similarly a chance meeting with a friend , while walking with another friend in the street , is not a social occasion and introductions are not called for ; unless it seems likely that one is going to stand and chat for a few minutes , or walk along all together , when an introduction will obviously set everyone more at ease . the hostess at a small party will see that guests are introduced to one another ; at a large party it is in order for guests to effect the introductions between people they know , or even to introduce themselves informally to other guests . if one brings a friend to a party , who is not known to the hostess , one must , of course , present one &apos;s friend to the hostess immediately on arrival . in the business world , strangers should be introduced if it seems likely they will have future dealings with one another . for instance , if a regular business contact is waiting in the secretary &apos;s room for an interview with her employer , and one of the firm &apos;s departmental heads comes in , the secretary should introduce the outsider to the departmental head , unless she knows that for any reason her chief would not approve it . guests are not introduced to servants or members of staff , but if on a visit of any duration , the guest should be made aware of the servant &apos;s name and function in some such form as Aunt Elizabeth , Jane will get you anything you want - just ring for her . the form an introduction takes has been very much simplified in recent years , but the general rule of presenting the less important person to the one it is desired to honour most , still remains . men are introduced to women , untitled people are introduced to titled ones , young people to older ones , old friends to newcomers , the unmarried girl to the married woman and so on . because of the very special honour accorded to royalty and high-ranking clergy , everyone is presented to them , regardless of title , age or sex . to perform an introduction , one says something like , Mrs Smith ( or , if one knows her well , Mary ) may I introduce Miss Jones , and then , turning to Miss Jones , says simply , Mrs Smith . that is all that is necessary , but if one wishes , one may turn again to Mrs Smith and add Miss Jones has just returned from a visit to New York , or some such bit of information which will give Mrs Smith ( as the senior member of the pair ) a chance to start an interesting conversation . when introducing people in circumstances where Christian names are likely to be used straight away ( as with young people , or introducing one &apos;s relations to old and intimate friends ) it is still important to give the surnames clearly on the first introduction ; otherwise circumstances can easily arise where people never know one another&apos;s surnames and the degree of friendship already achieved makes it impossible to ask . acknowledging an introduction . a lady must rise when being introduced to an older woman or social superior or to a clergyman . if the difference in their status is great she should remain standing until the other person either has a seat , or goes away . how do you do is the only possible verbal acknowledgement of an introduction ; it is purely formal , and not intended to be treated as an enquiry after anyone &apos;s health . handshaking on introduction is largely dying out in Britain although it is still very much the correct thing on the continent . in Britain , the former rule was that the socially superior person should be the first to extend a hand - and as few people of gentle instincts like , nowadays , to claim social superiority , the usage is less often followed . exceptions are when a much younger person is introduced to an older one , or where the distinction of rank is obvious ; then the senior person , if she wishes , will extend a hand . although handshaking is less often practised , it is , of course , very important to take instantly a proffered hand , in order to avoid calling attention to any possible lack of savoir-faire in the other person , and , quite simply , not to keep them waiting with hand outstretched . there is no especial rule about shaking hands with or without gloves . the only rules are , do n&apos;t fumble with a glove , and do n&apos;t apologise for having one . letters of introduction . there is a definite etiquette about these . letters should be handed unsealed to the person being introduced , who will , on arrival at the new place , post or leave them by hand on the friend to whom they are addressed , together with a visiting card or brief covering letter indicating where he or she may be contacted . it is not etiquette to deliver a letter of introduction in person to the one to whom it is addressed . the addressee should then promptly contact the newcomer with an invitation to meet him or her . if you have given someone a letter of introduction to a friend or business contact , it is etiquette to write a second letter , later , thanking him or her for the kindness shown to the newly-introduced person . the unwelcome introduction . while people performing introductions will , of course , not do so unless reasonably sure that it will be agreeable to both sides , still , the mere fact of having been formally introduced does not compel one to continue an uncongenial acquaintance , but to break it off too pointedly could be construed as rudeness towards the friend performing the introduction . the best course is to be civil but not forthcoming , though occasionally , with a really determined pursuer , stronger means may have to be adopted . the introduction , however , has committed one to nothing and one need not feel badly about disrupting the acquaintance . 