later , and rather surreptitiously , I was shown the bathroom - a new addition , painted blue and adorned with a multitude of gold stars . I did not see even then why only the gentlemen should be allowed to enjoy all the stars . when the question of morning tea and baths is settled there is breakfast - in bed or downstairs ? most hostesses are glad to keep a guest in bed until after breakfast ; many guests are thankful to be there , and the way the matter is broached varies . will you have your breakfast in bed ? is the sort of gambit which frequently causes a shy guest to enter into a flutter of protest about being a nuisance ; if , however , you say : your breakfast will arrive at any time you like , as though the whole thing were automatic and impersonal , it will probably help . then , after you have ascertained whether it is to be tea or coffee and made sure of any other details , you can go to bed yourself , to sleep with an easy conscience . it is not everybody that likes to be given breakfast in bed ; on the other hand , because it is so many people &apos;s idea of bliss , I would like to say something more about it . the bliss can be considerably marred if the tray is overcrowded or ill-arranged so that in order to pour out it becomes necessary to move things , to play a sort of game of chess in bed . surprisingly few people lay a breakfast-tray logically and well . many otherwise observant hostesses somehow overlook the fact that misery can set in if the tray is so heavy that you can hardly support it . they seem to forget how wretched the whole thing can be if the coffee is too weak or the tea too strong or either of them not hot enough , and that desperation can set in if any of the following things have been forgotten : salt , pepper , mustard ( when ham or sausages are served ) , soft sugar ( for grapefruit or stewed fruit ) or any of the requisite implements . if you are an inexperienced hostess , have a hopeless memory , are in love and therefore a bit absent-minded or tend always to be sleepy in the mornings , it is as well to make a list like the following ; keep it in the kitchen , check it and make sure that what ought to be hot is really hot and that everything looks , and is , fresh : tea , hot water ; milk and sugar ( or coffee , hot - but not boiled ; milk and sugar ) . toast , butter , marmalade . fruit juice ( pleasantly chilled ) , or grapefruit or stewed fruit and soft sugar . main dish , salt , pepper , mustard ; knife and fork , additional knife . spoon for fruit , teaspoon , butter-knife ( if the butter is not in pats ) , spoon for marmalade , knife for fresh fruit ( if required ) . I have said nothing about flowers on the breakfast-tray - a small attention sometimes recommended . my feeling is that there is rarely room to spare and one is worried about upsetting a vase , while a flower out of water fidgets me personally . I prefer flowers in the room and never miss them on the tray ; but that &apos;s just a personal point of view . some other considerations affecting this particular form of bliss are pillows and newspapers ; an extra pillow or two , to prop one up , and at least two , if not more , morning papers will never come amiss to someone who is content to have breakfast in bed . the scope of downstairs breakfast - porridge , cereals , cold game , ham and a wide selection of rolls , baps and different marmalades and honey - is as wide as your purse can make it and I do n&apos;t think I need enlarge on it here . many older people and quite a few of the young settle for coffee or tea and toast and fruit juice . although there are points to be observed in the preparation of even so simple a repast it is hardly worth the name of breakfast . a good old-fashioned breakfast - and really good breakfast dishes are among the most pleasing forms of food - is appreciated by the energetic , as a prelude to a day &apos;s walking or climbing or fishing in the holidays , or as a good basis for a day of hard work ; even on Sunday it is something to sustain you for perusal of the newspapers , though not the best aid to keeping awake during a long sermon . I feel that I can not let this chapter go without saying , briefly , something about the reverse side of the coin - that is to say , being a good guest . however much your friends love you , you can add to their pleasure in having you to stay if you observe the small courtesies . at the risk of sounding a bit arbitrary I am making a few suggestions . if you are going to arrive at a later hour than was intended , remember to telephone , and if you are going to be late for a meal , suggest that it might be more convenient if you had this at home or on the way before arrival . do n&apos;t smoke in the bathroom ; do n&apos;t jump out of the bath , toes and body dripping and soaking the bath-mat , do a bit of preliminary mopping up before you get out . open the window before you leave . be quick on the uptake about the wishes of your hostess . if she has little or no domestic aid , offer to help ; if she indicates that she does not at the moment need this , go off on your own with a book or needle-work , so that she is not left with the feeling that she ought to be entertaining you . quite a few of you have asked about tipping , and in these days of what might be called unconventional help problems about tips can arise . a nice old-fashioned housemaid , labelled by cap and apron , is easy enough ; when you leave you will give her your little present as you thank her for looking after you . it is the lady who obliges that can confound you ; on that point , the simplest way is to quietly consult your hostess . in the old days a young woman was not expected to tip men servants ; nowadays if a chauffeur meets you and takes you to the station , you will want to show appreciation . the question of how much is too difficult , depending as it does on the length of your stay , your purse and the help and service you receive . my own opinion is that the manner of giving is more important , and a young thing who remembers to say thank you in a friendly way need not worry if she can not manage great largesse . if it should unfortunately happen that you do not really enjoy your visit , are uncomfortable or do not like your fellow guests or the food , keep all this darkly under your hat and do n&apos;t regale your friends and acquaintances with an unfavourable if amusing narrative of your stay ; to do this is to offend against one of the canons of decent behaviour , however funny you may make the tale . quite apart from the bad manners of this you may be pretty sure that your hostess will come to hear of it and then you will have been guilty of causing great hurt . as one greatly prejudiced may I say a word about noise ? young people of the present generation have conditioned themselves to what is sometimes called background noise , and can carry on conversations , read and play games against a radio programme - even against two from different stations , without apparent inconvenience . maybe it was the early training which expected a complete cessation of noise of any kind when music was being performed , that causes me and others like me to find it quite impossible to talk or listen when there is background noise . to be a little considerate about radios and gramophones and noise generally is rated highly among good manners . I must tell you here something amusing that happened not long ago at Winkfield . Charles Laughton came to spend part of a day with me . after dinner he read to us one or two passages from a midsummer night &apos;s dream and he rendered some of the parts - that of Bottom in particular - with bucolic overtones . my sitting-room is opposite two dormitory cottages , where all was plainly to be heard . later on when he had gone , the night nurse , who goes the rounds about eleven o&apos;clock , heard a radio still on in a dormitory . she asked the girls there to turn the radio off , saying that they were disturbing me as I was tired and had gone to bed early - to which she got the disconcerting reply : do n&apos;t be silly , nurse , she &apos;s been having dinner with Henry the eighth . 6 . afternoon tea . like breakfast , this almost calls for special pleading . one hears it said that nobody ever eats at tea time now , except on railway trains and then only to kill time . but my mind wanders to holidays in Scotland or to Devonshire and leisurely teas . and then , when one thinks of an autumn evening , how good seems the idea of hot buttered toast or crumpets and comforting slices of cake ; how welcome they can be to those who have returned from a day &apos;s shooting , hunting , golf , football - whatever strenuous pursuit you like . I do n&apos;t think afternoon tea has so far gone out of fashion that a good hostess can afford not to give it some thought . as cooks we will n&apos;t concern ourselves with the four-o&apos;clock repast of a cup of China tea and lemon , just possibly a wafer of thin bread and butter and a mere dismissing glance at the cake . we will leave this fashion aside and direct our attention to the question of substantial teas for hungry and even exhausted people , because such meals engage at least our culinary interest . we may not have many opportunities to test our skill but when they do come along we shall know what is expected of us . tea , as a beverage , varies greatly in flavour according to the water with which it is made . unless you are lucky and have hit at once on a blend that suits the neighbourhood in which you live , you should consult a good tea merchant and get the matter satisfactorily settled once and for all . this applies to both Indian and China teas . if of the latter you like a smoky blend , mention the fact when you ask advice . I do not know how unorthodox it may be , but I like to keep a piece of dried orange-peel in the caddy containing China tea ; purists may howl , but try it for yourself . of course everyone knows about hot teapots and really boiling water , about using freshly run water in the first place and not letting it boil too long in the kettle , nevertheless these minutiae are not always properly observed ; perhaps the teapot gets heated with hot water , but is not subsequently completely emptied , and a nice little pool of tepid water receives the tea ; the water in the kettle , steaming away in a moment of pre-boiling enthusiasm , is poured over the tea a second or two too early - so the tea is horrid . believe me , this is not a lot of fuss and nonsense ; the reason you hear people say few people make really good tea is because this nonsense is underrated . cream is not always offered with tea , as once it was : it was usually handed separately and added to the tea in the cup . when this was the fashion the cups were often warmed with a little hot water to prevent them from cracking , as they sometimes do when filled straight with hot tea . the water was of course poured away into a tea basin . milk is a different affair ; if you add milk to the tea in the cup you can get a rather raw taste difficult to describe ; if you put it into the cup first the scalding tea poured onto it gives a mellower taste . 