finally Julian re-crossed his legs , and concentrated on the news . when Janet brought in tea he said : tell her we &apos;ve got too many people coming , then . it will n&apos;t deceive her , but it will please you . no , said Janet , tired , I shall ask her . you &apos;d make us miserable if I did n&apos;t . I shall ask her . have you taken your pill , by the way ? he smiled and felt hastily in his waistcoat pocket , apologetic with victory . Janet drank her tea and compressed her lips , warming her legs at the large coal fire . they were assembled in the hall that was large enough to be a room , drinking sherry before dinner , on Christmas eve . Julian &apos;s mother , small and stout , in a lavender woolly and lavender skirt , smiled at each member of the family as they came up to talk . she alone sat down , a dignity due to age . Janet &apos;s widowed sister , Doris , trotted in and out with more glasses : a robust , sensible woman , similar to Janet in appearance . the elder grandchildren drank self-consciously . Julian &apos;s brother , Paul , leaned on the back of old Mrs Harford &apos;s chair , and avoided his wife , May . he had been drinking too much again . Julian wondered why , and was too afraid to find out . the youngest children were in bed , ready to wake at 3 a.m and open their presents . someone had given John a drum , blast them . and Celia had telephoned in the afternoon , breathlessly , saying that the car had broken down and she was bringing a friend - was that all right ? I &apos;m not putting them in the same room , whispered Janet furiously . I will n&apos;t countenance cheap affairs at Christmas , with a house full of impressionable young people ! it might be a girl-friend , said Julian rationally , untruthfully . Janet gave a swift , sharp snort and flounced past him . Julian &apos;s eldest daughter , the one person he loved as much as Celia , was coming downstairs . she was happy to be home for Christmas , and this time with her first baby to steal attention . Julian patted her as she walked past . everything all right , Sue ? she nodded and smiled . he hoped her husband , a nice enough young chap , was good to her . she seemed to like him , anyway . they were usually squeezing each other&apos;s hands and sidling together . perhaps it would work out , but time made a difference . Celia and that Forster fellow had been wild about each other . Julian put up the money for their elopement and never told anyone : it rankled with him . I do n&apos;t think we should keep the dinner back much longer , do you ? said Janet , on a rising tone . no , dear . of course not , said Doris , who agreed with her . Celia will n&apos;t mind , I &apos;m sure , said Julian , nervous for her reception . Paul smiled into his sherry as though it were having a private joke . old Mrs Harford began stiffly to rise , helped by her sons . Julian &apos;s head ached as he lead his mother into the dining-room . all these people , he thought , and I do n&apos;t care much for any of them . what a stupid , expensive hypocrisy , family Christmas . if Sue was n&apos;t here , if Celia was n&apos;t coming - nothing in it for me . nothing in it at all . he looked down the double row of family faces , eating , drinking , talking , and wondered whether they felt the same . and he counted the people he had really loved , in his life : the ones he would die for , gladly . there did n&apos;t seem to be very many . it was a bit of a waste , spending your life with people you did n&apos;t want . why not collect round you the odd few you loved , and spend it with them instead ? a commotion in the hall . Julian &apos;s heart beat rapidly and he bent over his soup and pretended not to notice . that will be Celia , said Janet , and scraped her chair back , her napkin clutched in her large capable hand . a flutter passed visibly round the table . Celia was a disturbance , pleasant or unpleasant according to taste . the door was flung open and Julian felt her presence a few feet behind him . her light , quick voice pattered out a vague and charming list of woes . hallo , hallo , said Julian , pushing back his chair . merry Christmas , C . he got up and took both her hands in his , kissed her cold cheek . her voice bubbled past his ear as she answered and kissed him , but he could not have told what she said . Janet and Doris were looking stuffy and mottled in their tight best dresses . everybody &apos;s so smart ! wailed Celia , throwing her fur coat on a side table . it fell , with a silky thud , on the carpet . someone picked it up . I just came as I was , said Celia , and had contrived to make the others feel over-dressed , in my old sweater and skirt . but I &apos;ve brought you lovely , lovely presents . let me show you - after dinner , said Janet briskly . do come and sit down , Celia . and what have you done with your friend ? oh my God ! said Celia , I forgot . yoo-hoo . Mark , sweetie . come and meet my lovely family . she was determined in her gaiety , in her clinging to a style of prettiness which had suited her when she was young . come on ! she called , nervous and laughing . he &apos;s shy . poor Mark . perhaps he sensed that he was de trop before he came in because his entrance was both dignified and defiant . a universal gasp among the family . Celia had done it again . lean , tall and personable though Mark was - he was an African . what a terrible thing , whispered Doris , and mother the age she is , too . at Christmas , said Janet . Celia held Mark &apos;s hand and smiled into his face . she had the ability to concentrate herself on one person at one time and it took some of the uncertainty from his expression . they &apos;re awfully glad you &apos;ve come , said Celia to him , as though the room were empty . he plays the trumpet , professionally , she said , turning to them . I made him bring it . after dinner he &apos;ll play the blues . Markie , she said , touching her throat with a gesture that tore Julian , just gets me when he plays the trumpet . still the family had not come up to scratch . her wide-spaced blue eyes garnered and sorted the message . her smile wavered . we &apos;re awfully hungry , she said , awfully hungry , Julian . delighted , said Julian , jerked by her appeal into shaking Mark &apos;s hand . do sit down , both of you . you must certainly play for us , if you will , Mr er - just call him Mark , said Celia . second names are so unfriendly , and his is unpronounceable . how is everybody ? darling Mummy , always so sweet . Doris . Janet . May . Sue , have you brought little poppet ? I must see him . do you adore him frantically ? - lucky you . and dear Paul - oh , Paul . yes , said Paul , I &apos;m drinking too much , C . but why ? Julian wished he could have asked this , but he listened . because , said Paul , a family is like a bloody great pillow on your face . suffocation . and I drink to forget that terrible fact . oh , Paul ! everyone said , laughing to cover up the truth . I &apos;m surrounded , said Paul , by people I wish well . I do wish you well . and I wish you well away . you &apos;re all lovely . good , clean-living , strong-minded , short-sighted salts of the earth . there is no spot in you . but for Christ &apos;s sake why can n&apos;t you be salty without me ? why do n&apos;t you let me alone ? we &apos;ll have a long talk afterwards , Paulie , said Celia , touching the back of his hand . eat your dinner , darling . comforted , keeping himself fastidiously from contact with his wife or his wife &apos;s chair , he began to cut his meat into smaller and smaller pieces . Julian formed a picture of Celia by frequent glances . she must be touching up her hair , it never used to be quite that auburn shade , more of a russet . she had noticeable lines round eyes and mouth and her neck was hollowed . in repose her face showed her age , but Celia was rarely still . she was dressed in some pretty , fuzzy material : dark , soft blue and no jewellery . you &apos;re looking well , C , said Julian , and cleared his throat . a cross-current of conversation prevented her reply . but I always put my babies on pots right away , said old Mrs Harford , reprovingly . but it &apos;s such a waste of time , the book says &amp;hellip; &amp;hellip; and it saved nappies and got them into good habits . put a pillow on his face and get him out of it , said Paul to himself , it &apos;s kinder in the long run &amp;hellip; . I know you do n&apos;t like sprouts , said Doris , flustered , but you &apos;ve no need to make such a fuss . one would think you were seven , instead of seventeen . more gravy , Mother ? said Janet . staying in England long , Mr er - Mark ? asked Julian courteously . I do n&apos;t quite know , sir , said Mark . his deep voice jolted the family , and two rows of heads ducked to their plates , silenced . he &apos;s staying at my flat just now , said Celia , and they all started to talk at once . Julian , exchanging glances with Paul , caught a curious look in Celia &apos;s eyes , of irony and sadness . I hate family Christmas , said Paul , loudly . she leaned forward , at once aware of him : a child to be comforted . never mind , sweetie . never mind . and Mark could play . licking his purplish lips , first , then raising the trumpet as though it were a taste of wine : setting his mouth to it as though it were a girl to be kissed . his long back and legs , his narrow hips , arched into one effortless curve : an attitude for the trumpet . and he played . the younger ones and Celia urged him on . he drank water , rested , smiled , and played again . his music ran in their ears , darker than his skin , sweeter than honey . they sat on the stairs , listening . old Mrs Harford fell asleep . Paul , stupified , shut his eyes . Julian stood , a little awkwardly , against the newel post , and applauded loudly . he had little knowledge of music but he wanted Celia to feel that he approved of her friend . she squeezed his arm and smiled , translating him . Doris and Janet disappeared , alienated , to discuss to-morrow &apos;s Christmas lunch , and Celia &apos;s latest gaffe . Sue thought her baby was crying , though no one else noticed . she hurried up the stairs : in the earliest stage of loving him . she would have carried him about with her all the time if it were socially permissible . now , sir , said Mark to Julian , in his dark , slow voice , what can I play for you ? he implied compliment and Julian was flustered , afraid of failing him . Celia leaned forward , her hair swinging past her brother &apos;s bulky waistcoat . play Savoy blues , Markie , darling . Jule does n&apos;t know the name but he knows the tune . Mark began to make melancholy love with the trumpet and Julian was stricken as by Celia &apos;s pathos at dinner . his eyes sharpened for an instant with tears which he was concerned to hide . what &apos;s wrong with me , this Christmas ? he wondered , finding no answer . only it seemed to him that he was suddenly middle-aged and had never possessed what he truly desired . composed , he turned to smile at Celia and found his mood reflected in her face . he concentrated again on Mark , and clapped louder than anyone else when it was over . again , sir ? said Mark , absorbed , respectful . he had noticed something . dignified beggar . no , no , thank you . I enjoyed it , though . tremendously . old favourite of mine . thank you very much . Mark bowed and stood silent . I think we &apos;ll have some family carols now , said Janet in a high , bright voice , and Mama must go to bed . come along , darling . where &apos;s Sue got to ? that baby of hers will be ruined . she picks him up every time he cries . as Janet passed Julian she stared through him ; her powdery skin flushed on the cheekbones ; her best court shoes uncomfortable and smart . she trod on Celia &apos;s fuzzy skirt as she sat , rapt , at the foot of the stairs . sorry , Celia , said Janet heartily , but we &apos;re getting Mama to bed . 